We Are Bulletproof

The closed sign was facing out of the window of the used bookstore but the lights were still on. Inside, two men were working on sifting through several boxes of donations in order to shelf them in their appropriate places.

Turning a book over in his hand, Silas wondered how to categorize it. Since it was in some weird language he didn't know, he wasn't sure what to do with it. That was the kicker about owning a used bookstore. It meant that he had a lot of books to deal with and sometimes they came in mystery languages.

Looking up from the box he was rummaging around in, he looked over at Liam. Then he held the book up, waving it in front of Liam's face.

"Hey, do you know what language this is?"

"If you stopped waving it I might be able to read it," Liam said cheerfully. He reached for the book so he could get a better look at it. He learned a few different languages over the years for spells.

He looked the book over and it was nothing he had ever seen. "I can't say I know," he flipped through a few pages. Stopping on an image, he looked at it and he could hear whispers.

He couldn't hear what they were saying but there were multiple voices whispering. Liam froze as he tried to make out what they were saying.

It sounded like help, it really did but he wasn't sure.

Then the voices just stopped. and he looked at Silas.

"Did you hear that?" He asked as he questioned himself at the same time. Was he going crazy? Was it the medication? Liam began to worry his eyes filled with uncertainty.

His heart raced.

While Liam looked through the book, Silas peeked into the box to fish out another handful of books. These ones weren't nearly as interesting as the one Liam was flipping through. They looked like pretty standard mystery novels. Mystery novels and romance novels: the bread and butter of any used bookstore.

Then he heard it. At first, he thought it was the mere whisper of pages but then the whispers began to form sounds. It was a language he still didn't understand but it was definitely the sound of voices. Sharply, Silas looked up.

"You heard it too?" he asked, then reached out and grabbed the book, slamming it shut. The sounds died as soon as the pages were clamped closed. Silas stared at Liam, wondering what they'd just experienced together.

"It must be some kind of prank."

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, Silas heard it too. This was getting a little creepy. "Yeah," is all he could say. The book was shut and the voices were gone.

He smiled then laughed, "Yeah it must be a prank."

Liam tried to shack the creepy feeling off but he couldn't it was like when he flipped through the pages the book came to life.

Silas worked with books a lot longer than he did and this was out of his league. "I think we should research this one before we sell it." Liam looked at the book and it sent shivers down his spine. "What do you think?"

Something about the book, Liam couldn't put his finger on it, he felt like it was calling to him. He almost wanted to take it home and look it over but it's Silas' and he had all rights to it.

He continued to look through his box. He couldn't help but think of Susu, he enjoyed reading, Liam was always on the go no time to read a book. He missed Susu deeply.

"You know that prank had me going. I thought my meds were making me hear things." Liam laughed about it but deep down it scared him.

"Uh, yeah," he said. "I'm not even sure I want to sell it."

Which didn't mean he wanted to keep it by any means. It was just that it seemed dangerous and irresponsible to put that kind of thing back on the market. Even if it was a prank, it was kind of a dirty one. It left Silas with an unsettling feeling and it was obvious that it had gotten to Liam, too.

"Your meds are helping you, not making you worse," Silas reminded Liam. As long as he kept taking them, he would be fine. He wouldn't try what he did before--which landed him here with Silas.

"It's just that book. Something's wrong with it."

He was just going to outright say it. There was definitely something up with it. Silas was a half believer in the occult. Weird things had happened around him and he was a pretty good judge of character so he had no reason not to trust his gut.

Liam continued to sort the books in his box. "Sometimes I feel like it makes me feel even crazier than before but I guess that's why we are together. So you can remind me to do the right thing." He looked down "Whatever that is."

It felt nice to have a normal job and be held responsible for himself. But he deeply missed Susu. He hadn't opened up about his relationship with Silas yet Liam was unable to face it himself.

Liam couldn't help but think it was some sort of spell book, and he wanted it but he wasn't going to tell Silas. He knew what he was going to say,"Stay away its bad news."

So he would take it after Salas left it unattended or discarded it.

"You know what I mean? My whole life has changed and I am not sure I can get used to it."

Sighing as he tried to figure when this all started.

Susu made it clear they were not going to see each other anytime soon and Liam had no one else he trusted. Silas was doing his job he didn't care about what he was going through.

Silas could talk about medication and therapy until he was blue in the face but he was not a full doctor. He had been a psychology student but was now currently only an aide. He wasn't considered a medical professional but he knew enough about medications to know what to watch for in Liam, to make sure he stayed on the straight and narrow.

"It will get better," he assured him as he dug out a couple more books. At least these seemed more standard from the looks of them. No more of those ominous old looking books with the strange voices coming from it. Just thinking about them made Silas' neck crawl.

"Well," Silas propped himself against the edge of his front desk, setting a romance novel with heaving bosoms down beside him. "Is it changing the way you want it to?"

"Not really." He looked to Silas. " I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I can't go back to my old life or I will end up here again but I don't feel welcome here either." Liam picked up a hard covered book with a blue spin It was called Blue Night. He flipped it around to read the back of it to sort it.

He looked down but rather than reading it he began to talk "I feel better, like in my head but I hurt inside still it's not the same hurt as before." He sighed heavily.

"I''m not good at all this talking about my feelings and all." He placed the book down.

"You don't feel welcome here?" Silas asked. Hadn't he made Liam as comfortable as possible? No, no. This wasn't about him and he knew it. It was just a surprising revelation when he thought Liam was doing pretty well with him.

"Most people aren't," he said after a moment of silence. Because it was true--most people really weren't great at communicating their feelings. It didn't help that people often didn't even know their own emotions in order to give them names or words that somebody else might understand.

"But you won't get any better at it if you don't practice, you know."

Liam shifted his posture became awkward and he took a few steps, pacing. He slides his hand through his wavy hair and stopped pacing and looked up from the ground. "Not here, here but this normal life. I am used to action. This!" He thought his hands out beside him. "This is so tame. I feel like I am going crazy from how tame it is."

"Silas, I need you to make the hurt go away." His lips parted and he lowered his eyes.

How do you explain the feeling you get when the one thing you loved with your everything no longer is willing to fight. Liam still had fight in him but the medication helped him focus and think things over he could now stop himself.

"Help me practice Silas."

Ah. The normal life was making him cagey. Silas stroked his own jaw for a moment, nodding. That made sense, coming from Liam. One moment he was living life on the edge and the next he was hospitalized. However, he was hospitalized for trying to take his own life so how good could that past life of his be for him?

The two concepts were so wildly different, though. Liam was going crazy because things were too normal but he also wanted Silas to somehow make the hurt go away. It was part of Silas' job as a volunteer with the local rehab program but... That was a much bigger job than Liam made it sound.

Ah, he was trying to practice. That was where the hurt came in. Silas leaned his hip against the counter and crossed his arms, regarding Liam.

"All right," he said. That was why he was here, after all. "What hurts?"

"Susumu, "he said angrily. "He's a fucking ass hole when I needed him the most he left me." He clenched his jaw, and let out a sigh.

"I really thought,..." he looked away. "He cared. "

This is when the hurt kicked in the all too familiar feeling in his chest the racing thoughts. He tried to push the thoughts out but the tight feeling in his chest lingered.

"I can't do this!" Liam grunted and headed for the door he opened and slammed it behind him. He took a cigarette out and lit it. He took a deep drag and exhaled it. He kicked pebbles that were on the sidewalk.

It was more than Susu there was something going on inside him, he felt like this was just who he was a black witch, black magic was used for bad. Maybe he was born out of darkness? Maybe he can't be loved.

Okay. Silas blinked as Liam exploded and then tore out of the store. For a moment, Silas remained where he was, books in hand. Then he set the books down and figured that Liam would shoo him away if he didn't want to keep talking.

When he stepped outside, he stepped right into a cloud of smoke. Coughing, he waved the smoke away and then regarded Liam as he lowered his hand.

"Feeling any better?"

"I don't know," he snarled. "Not really, I just don't get it." He took another puff of his cigarette. "If he loves me why is he telling me to stay away?" Liam thought once he was better Susu would take him back but with what he was saying it's over for good. Susu gave up on them.

"Silas I don't want to be here without him." his tone dropped he didn't see a reason to keep trying if Susu was not going to be apart of his life. The medication was not going to fix a broken heart, it wasn't going to bring Susu back so why even take it?

He tried to kill himself because he couldn't take being alone any longer. Liam felt so lost that was his breaking point. He had no one to pick him up when he fell, no shoulder to cry on, No one could ever give him what Susu did.

"I fucked up, and I don't think I can fix it." He tossed his cigarette on the ground and put it out with his shoe. "Should we get back to work?" He asked. It was nice for Silas to come out and talk to him rather than let the thoughts build up even though he said he was done and stormed off.

Liam did, however, come up with a plan to see Susu again. That creepy book was sure to catch his attention.

"Maybe that's why? Because he loves you?" He tried not to sound too flippant about it because Liam seemed pretty cracked up about his boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, rather. It was a shame, really. Silas never understood why people became so locked on a single person for their whole life. If Liam could change the direction of his heart, maybe he wouldn't feel so much pain.

"There's always a way to fix it," Silas said, but he uncrossed his arms and headed back to the door of the shop, propping it open and stepping aside to let Liam go on ahead.

"But yeah, I think work's a better focus for you right now."