Toxic Hearts

[Reagan Ryang]

"Pity fucks?"

He didn't know why that annoyed him so much. It just did. What, was he making a remark toward Alva again? If he thought the only reason he was with Alva was pity then he was sadly mistaken.

"Asshole. I wouldn't let you fuck me anyway so it's fucking moot. Or whatever they say."

He wouldn't let fucking Josh anywhere near his body. Well, other than the usual punch exchanges and oh-so-friendly pinching and shit they did. They were kinda weird friends, honestly.

[Kang Taebin]

"Oh your vocabulary expanded. Moot. Impressive."

Josh shook his head again. God, Rae made it too easy sometimes. It was probably because Josh struck a nerve; some of his words, like pointed arrows, must have hit home. Otherwise, Rae wouldn't get so wound up. But after a while, baiting him got a little boring, too.

"It's going to be a long ride to the cabin if you're going to be this touchy the whole time," he remarked--in perfectly civil tones. Josh reached over to pat him patronizingly on the head. "Poor puppy. Settle down."

[Reagan Ryang]

"My boyfriend is smart," he declared, like it was something to brag about. Well, it was. Just not to Josh, who didn't give a fuck about how smart his boyfriend was. It seemed like all Josh wanted in a boyfriend was the ability to fuck him, from the way he talked about Alva. It was like Alva had no qualities at all beyond that to him. Which annoyed Rae, who wanted to show off his boyfriend, despite the fact that it had been five long years now.

He growled when Josh pet him like a fucking dog.

"I won't be touchy if you just stay off that fucking subject."

Something about being around Josh always brought out the curse words. Rae cursed like a sailor regardless but Josh brought them out in full force. Even when he was speaking in calm or friendly tones, they slipped out.

It wasn't the same with Alva. Actually, he felt almost embarrassed if he cursed too much around him.

[Kang Taebin]

"I knew you had outside help with that."

Moot didn't seem like a word that Rae would pick up all on his own. Josh laughed while Rae growled like an actual dog and made a show of snatching back his hand, like he thought Rae would bite. That wasn't actually beyond the scope of possibility. Who knew the lengths that Rae would go to, when fully incensed?

"All right, all right, we'll move on to something else." He took a more reasonable tone, since he didn't feel like bickering like an old, married couple for two hours. Josh had his fun--for now. But inevitably the subject would come up again, because his disdain for Alva was boundless.

Just as he was about to change the subject, he spotted a sign by the side of the road. "Hey, pull over at the next rest stop! There's a food cart, I'm hungry."

[Reagan Ryang]

Duh. Nobody ever claimed that Rae was some kind of genius. He just happened to date a smart man with a colorful vocabulary. It rubbed off on Rae a bit and he liked to look smart in front of Alva. Kinda didn't care how he came across in front of Josh though. They'd known each other so long at this point that they probably had way too much dirt on one another.

Like... about foxes getting eaten. That kind of thing.

Rae saw the food cart almost too late and he had to swerve past another car as he turned into the turn off for the next rest stop. The other car honked and Rae gave him a not-so-nice gesture through his window.

He parked at the rest stop without killing either of them. There were a number of other travelers loitering around, going to the bathrooms or waiting on family members.

"What the shit is going on?" Rae asked, mostly himself. "Some kind of family reunion in the hills?"

[Kang Taebin]

Reagan Ryang was definitely nobody's definition of a genius, that much Josh couldn't deny, although... he had his charms, too. What those charms were, he couldn't recount just at the moment, because he was too busy rattling around inside the rusty tin can that Rae called a car, as he swerved to get off the highway and towards the rest stop.

"Would you freaking stop driving like a maniac?!" Josh huffed and puffed, breathing somewhat labored as he tried to get over the fright of nearly cannoning into another car. He glared until they had parked and only then noticed the crowd.

"I'm definitely driving after this," he growled, while shoving the door open. "Also--duh. It's the long weekend, everybody's probably out camping or something." On an island there wasn't much else to do. Go camping, go to the lake, or take the ferry to the mainland--that was about it.

Sliding outside, Josh stretched languorously. His gaze fell upon the food truck, which was selling some kind of barbecue. "Come on, let's go check it out. You're paying." He tossed a dirty look in Rae's direction. "For making me wait so long this morning."

[Reagan Ryang]

"No." He let out another wild laugh. Over his dead body--he was never going to drive safe. Which was a lie because when Alva was in the car, he was careful. Josh wasn't wrong when he thought Alva changed him. It was just that Josh seemed to think it was a bad thing, that Alva softened his hard edges. Meanwhile, Rae was grateful for it. Alva grounded him. They complemented one another. Yin. Yang. Dark. Light. Dumb. Smart. They were opposites in most things but still fit where it mattered.

Unfortunately, he was all too aware what Josh thought of it. Of Alva. Of Alva and Rae as a couple. He just wished Josh would get over it already. Five years and he still didn't think they were right for each other?

Oh yeah... He forgot that others would be taking advantage of the same weekend as they were. Slanting a sideways glance at Josh as he bolted out of the car, Rae slid out of the driver's seat.

Lifting a hand over his eyes to shade them from the sun, he squinted at the people milling around the rest stop. Closing the door, he slipped the keys into his back pocket and skirted around the front of the car to get a better look at the food truck.

"Whatever," he said. "But you only get to use that excuse once so you better hope this shit's worth it."

[Kang Taebin]

Josh gasped as though in deep shock. "Oh my god, you're being obedient! Is this a miracle?" He ruffled Rae's hair and then danced out of reach, before Rae could grab him. Laughing, he ran up to the food truck and inspected the menu that was written on the side.

Everything looked tasty. Or... Josh was hungry, since he hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast. He studied the menu while waiting in line. The ribs? Or the pulled pork sandwich? Ooh but there were smoked sausages and burgers.

"Ugh... I can't choose, Rae." His smile may have turned a little evil. "Can I get one of everything?" Or would Rae kill him before he made the order, since the bill was on him? Josh could've afforded to buy the truck itself buuut... Rae did owe him. Like a million times over, for giving him multiple heart attacks, by driving like a crazy person.

[Reagan Ryang]

"He-eey!" He shook out his hair and ran a hand over it to try and calm it back down while Josh skipped off to the food truck. A few seconds later, Rae was running after him, not to be left behind.

As hungry as he was and as mouth watering as the food smelled, there was no way that Rae could afford the entire menu. He gave Josh a flat eyed stare. Between the two of them, who had more money? Yeah.

"Hell no," he said. "Pick one thing. I'm not made of money and you know it, asshole!"

He swatted Josh on the back of the head for emphasis.

[Kang Taebin]

"Ow!" Josh swatted him right back--an eye for an eye, and all that nonsense. He rolled his eyes at Rae's cheapness. "Fine, just one." God, being poor sucked. How did the others live the way they did? Aldon didn't even have a car--Josh couldn't imagine slumming it on a bus. Rae's car wasn't a junk heap but the way that he tore around, it was destined for it!

"I'll have a pulled pork sandwich," he said to the smiling woman at the window of the food truck, then stepped aside so that Rae could order too. Good thing it was just after the full moon--his appetite wasn't going off the charts and one measly sandwich would do for now. They had plenty of snacks at the cabin anyway, and whatever food was left in the freezer from their last outing there.

As he ate, meandering slowly back to the car, he sighed. "I can't believe Aldon abandoned us. For the fox." He exchanged a deeply offended Look with Rae. They had only been planning this trip for... oh, weeks. And Aldon, the ass, dropped out just because he happened to get back together with his stupid ex.

[Reagan Ryang]

Since Rae was hungry too, he bought himself the same thing as Josh. After paying and getting their food, he ambled alongside Josh back toward the car. He wasn't in any particular rush, since there weren't any actual plans for the weekend. They were just getting out into the country, really.

"Whatever." Okay, he was slightly offended about Aldon ditching them for the Ryland thing again. After watching the same drama break out over and over again, he was sort of tired of it. He thought Aldon was better off with the guy but he couldn't even get over himself enough to make it official or whatever. So that wasn't anybody's fault but his.

Or their lifestyles. But Rae got over it enough to be with somebody consistently for five years soooooo. Yeah.

"If you had a choice between me or somebody you could fuck, you'd pick somebody you could fuck."

[Kang Taebin]

Okay, yes... given the choice between Rae and his death-defying driving or somebody to plow into the mattress, Josh would obviously choose the latter over the former. For one thing, having sex didn't usually lead to death. Sitting in the same car as Rae with Rae behind the wheel was definitely not an endeavor for the faint of heart.

"Still," he grumbled, unwilling to put aside his childish grudge. Without Aldon around, their weekend was going to consist mostly of fighting, bickering, arguing and possibly physical violence of some sort. (And Rae might not be the one to instigate, because Josh sure as hell had a temper behind his innocent-looking face.)

"I mean. It's not even the fox thing anymore." Lie: totally was about the fox thing. "They're so annoying. I've never seen anybody break up and get together so many times in my life!"

The whole thing tired Josh out. He leaned against Rae's car as though just the thought of all that drama had drained him. Then he contemplated Rae and made a face. "Both of you make me sick."

[Reagan Ryang]

"Yeah, it's kinda annoying," he agreed--for once--with something Josh said. The whole on/off thing was so exhausting to watch that he didn't know how the hell Aldon did it. For a while, it seemed like he finally got Ryland out of his system. A whole year without him! But then it came back and it was obvious in full force... maybe even because it had been so long.

"But you can't help who you're attracted to." Or fall in love with but he knew better than to use the big L word in front of a skeptic like Josh.

Rae glared at Josh as he tossed him the keys to his car.

"Why the fuck? Just fucking drop it already."

[Kang Taebin]

"So you say," Josh replied flatly, shaking his head. Maybe it was true--one couldn't choose the direction one's heart traveled--but there was also such a thing as pride! ...which was probably why Rae didn't openly admit to dating Alva, whereas Aldon...

Aldon was the type of man to broadcast his feelings to the world. Yet, ironically, he wouldn't say the words to Ryland. What about boasting to strangers made it so much easier than telling Ryland the truth? It wasn't as if he hid it particularly well, either, so Josh also didn't understand the importance that Ryland placed on hearing the actual declaration. If you asked Josh, they were both just totally fucked up.

Rae, too. He caught the keys deftly and rolled his eyes at Rae's indignation. "Relax, I didn't even mention your little boyfriend this time. It's you and Aldon I can't stand. Sometimes." He smirked and ducked into the car. Time for a real driver to take the wheel!

"Okay, now it's your turn for a beauty sleep," he said to Rae with a sly grin, as he started the car and pulled smoothly out of the parking lot.

[Reagan Ryang]

"You didn't have to." He was pretty sure before the whole Alva thing, Josh wouldn't have called him out on being sickening. Five years ago, Rae was amongst one of the roughest in the group. He had little disregard for other people and he was kind of an asshole.

Which wasn't to say he wasn't one now but he had been much worse before he met Alva.

He felt like Alva smoothed those edges, just the way Ryland did for Aldon. And Josh was... he didn't know. Jealous, maybe. Or disappointed. Let down that they had changed. When it was just the three of them, things were a lot different. They were truly wild and free. Now... Rae thought Josh thought that he and Aldon were held back by their mates.

They had to grow up some day, right? They couldn't just run wild forever.

Which ran contrary to the kind of shit Rae used to say.

Pushing the seat back after he got into the car, he only shook his head at the idea of beauty sleep.

"I'm too wired, what're you talking about? I couldn't sleep unless you cold-cocked me right now."