Cats can't text

[Sam Yen]

"Errr..."

Well, this was weird. Sam had a bun half-way to his mouth but he wasn't biting into it. Across the way, he saw a white cat huddled in front of a phone. The cat looked up at him; its eyes widened and it stared unblinkingly at him for a long minute, a sure sign of aggression. Sam stared back, not sure of what he was looking at.

Was that--

Was that cat texting?

He could've sworn it had its paws over the screen just then, making motions like a human would. Phones were heat- and pressure-activated and cats had those soft pads on their paws. It was possible, just... not very probable.

Cautiously, Sam approached. Seeing him drawing closer, the cat grabbed the phone in its mouth and loped off. Sam followed. The cat sped up. Sam sped up. The cat leapt onto a garbage can but dropped the phone with a clatter and Sam paused to stare at it some more, as it gave him the deadliest of glares that he had ever seen coming from a cat. It hissed; Sam flinched and stepped back a few paces, not wanting to get clawed.

"Hey kitty, it's okay!" He crooned, dropping down to a crouch. Was that a reassuring move? Or did it just give the cat an opportunity to fly at his face? He held out the half-eaten bun. "You want some food, kitty?"

The cat looked down at the bun, then up at him--scornfully. It attempted to pick up the phone again in its mouth, but the phone was a pretty heavy thing. Sam watched, fascinated, as it finally managed to get the thing in its mouth. In so doing, Sam saw the screen. It was showing text messages! In fact, one came through right then and there!

"What the--!"

The cat leapt down and made a fast escape, while Sam scrambled to follow, but by the time he got to his feet the thing was gone. He just managed to see a wisp of white, fluffy tail disappearing around a corner. Sam scratched his head. "That cat was not texting..."