Release the kraken!

[Niall Gallagher]

No?

[Kenneth Branagh]

Oh good
So I'll have time to stop by the shop and pick up some groceries

[Niall Gallagher]

No!
You tease!

We can grocery shop later!
Come and ravish me on the counter
And the coffee table
And in the shower
And in the closet
On the rooftop
Out on the beach

[Kenneth Branagh]

You'll get one ravishing
In bed

[Niall Gallagher]

Does it count if it's in bed?

[Kenneth Branagh]

What discounts it if it's in bed?

[Niall Gallagher]

Have you ever heard of anybody being ravished in bed?
It's like the opposite!

[Kenneth Branagh]

Actually, love, I have
Me

The first night we spent together

[Niall Gallagher]

I kinda want you to throw some stuff and fuck me on the counter though.

[Kenneth Branagh]

Do I have to destroy our belongings?
Your back will hurt if we do it on the counter

[Niall Gallagher]

You worry too much~

But have it your way... before I die of waiting

[Kenneth Branagh]

I can meet you half way
We can have sex on the counter if you lay a blanket down

You know you bruise easily

[Niall Gallagher]

...that's too unsexy

I need to teach you a few things, seems like

[Kenneth Branagh]

Hm

Do we have any alcohol in the flat?

[Niall Gallagher]

...yes

Is this a trick question?
I'm not day drinking!