Can’t help that I’m being selfish

[Alejandro Riviera]

...can you lie to me and tell me I don't?

[Dakota Choi]

Sure.

You don't sound like a girl with a big time crush

[Alejandro Riviera]

:(

This is how it starts you know
Meet a nice guy
He has a cute smile
I think we could be good together

...
And then I end up alone in the bathroom crying in a pool of my own vomit after a week straight of drinking and bingeing on cocaine

[Dakota Choi]

Aw how cute
Sounds like you liiiiike him

[Alejandro Riviera]

But I want to like
Yoooouuuuuu

[Dakota Choi]

I want you to like me too

Heh
Most people don't like it so rough

[Alejandro Riviera]

We did make beautiful sex together didn't we?

...I do like you though baby
Your darkness is the same as mine
But I don't know if I'm all dark

There's this part of me that also wants somebody like Seth
Superman
And another part of me wants you

[Dakota Choi]

WHY NOT BOTH HUN

[Alejandro Riviera]

Because you want to die
And if I fall in love with you and you die

This presents an obvious problem for me

[Dakota Choi]

Yeah... and that's
still a thing.

I tire of this world, Ale-ale-jandro.
Honestly, if I'm not high, I just hate everything

[Alejandro Riviera]

I know
I
Feel it too, at different points during the day

If I could slip off into the ether
And just float away, never to be seen again

But then other times
I think about all the things I used to want out of life, I look at the people around me that love me and care about me
And it's hard to leave all of them behind

Isn't there anything worth living for here, Kota?
What happened to you baby?

[Dakota Choi]

Oh I don't know
I guess I just feel
fucking abandoned by everybody I ever cared about
my best friend
my little brother
my ex-girlfriend

I'm just so...
done with it all
you know?

[Alejandro Riviera]

You know what's funny baby?
I feel the same way. That's what kicked all of this off. Being abandoned. Feeling unwanted, like I'm NOTHING to the people who were supposed to love me the most

Instead of unconditional love, all I got was a foot up the ass and a door to the face

My parents didn't want me after I came out
My friends stopped being my friends
My boyfriend went cross-country to be with the man he really loved

But
...
Coming here
Meeting you and Marge, even superman
I don't know, i feel like
Maybe there are still people who care

I care about you Kota

[Dakota Choi]

But how long?
you know?

It's hard to trust anybody anymore
so don't take that personally

[Alejandro Riviera]

There's no expiration date on that
Not for me

Especially not since I've been through the same things you have baby

But I get it
I'm just saying... If you need someone to care
:) He's right here