avatar_Kwak Jung Su

Who inherits Greenwood though?

Started by Kwak Jung Su, Jan 12, 2020, 11:56 AM

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  • Don't you dare say I'm going to make it cause I don't believe a word you say
  • Rook
  • 109 posts
  • Kleptomaniac
  • 19
  • 6'0"
"Um...

what?"

What was happening? One second, there was... a-a kiss an the next minute, Jung Su was swearing and standing up, like Devlin did something wrong. Did he do something wrong? His head sort of spun; he wasn't quite sure what to think. Growing up together, there was a point where their closeness bred a crush in Devlin's heart but it was pretty clear it was a silly little thing. They were basically brothers, kind of best friends. Both damaged in their own way.

Jung Su touched him a lot but that was just Jung Su being... Jung Su. He thought. He wasn't sure now what it all meant. Did he really just... kiss him? He started to look up but then a hand was on his head, like he was some puppy that needed consoling. His eyes moved, though, up to look at Jung Su who definitely was not looking at him.

"I... what?"

Things were moving too fast for him to properly catch up and Jung Su was just... retreating. Devlin reached out and tried to grasp at the hand that left his head. He felt especially twitchy now. Like all kinds of cylinders in his head were trying to fire at the same time. He shook his head like it might help. It never did.

"Wait."

Fucking

Fuck

Jung Su almost got out of there but a thin hand slipped over his and he stopped dead. He didn't look back, though. His back was still turned to Devlin, one hand outstretched behind him like it was tied down and he was trying to rip out the arm to get away. If only he could. Oh, if only he fucking could rip out that arm. Maybe rip his own face off too, for the hell of it.

Devlin probably thought he was a creep. He was. He was a fucking creep, lusting over his own little brother, kissing him out of fucking nowhere because he was tired and he'd been out looking for Devlin for hours and when he finally found him, the relief was so prominent that it blocked out everything else. It was normal to want to embrace someone in that moment. He wanted to make sure Devlin wasn't going to leave again—leave him, and everything they had together. He just... he loved him. In the weirdest creepiest fucking way possible. The most perverse way possible.

"It's.... nothing Dev. Just you know. I'm tired. I need some sleep. You do too. Don't worry about it." Ha ha. Telling Devlin not to worry about it when all he did was worry. Devlin was a giant ball of nervous worry even on a good day. Jung Su didn't know what the fuck all he was waiting for, with his hand dangling out there like an asshole, though. He should just walk out. Just walk away. Pretend it didn't happen. Keep lying to himself.

"...don't worry about it."

  • Don't you dare say I'm going to make it cause I don't believe a word you say
  • Rook
  • 109 posts
  • Kleptomaniac
  • 19
  • 6'0"
"You--you keep saying that."

He was tired. He needed sleep. Devlin was tired, too. It really had been a long day, an emotional day. He didn't know what must have gone through Jung Su's mind. But he found him somehow. Maybe he looked for him all day when his joke didn't go over so well. Now that he looked back on it, Devlin was embarrassed he took a joke so seriously. But it wasn't the part about his stuff that stabbed him in the heart. It was the rape joke. Jung Su never went that far before.

Devlin had always been weird inside. For as long as he could remember. He was weird. He wasn't supposed to be who he was or what he was. And watching his mother die irreparably broke something inside forever. Even bringing her back with his magic was a terror, a horror in itself. Because bringing dead things back, they didn't come back right. And Devlin, he didn't know what he was doing.

He ran away from home and in that time, he got himself pushed into some dark situations. Devlin wasn't good at protecting himself. He didn't know how. And he was nervous--all the time. Scared, all the time. The rape comment brought up bad memories. It didn't happen but it almost did. It almost did.

Devlin tried to pull Jung Su back with the hand that held onto his arm, even though it was taut and it felt like Jung Su was a rubber band about to snap.

"I can't..."

"What do you want me to tell you, Dev?" Snap. Jung Su's temper was always his downfall. It got him into dicey situations; it pissed off all the wrong people. It was his defence mechanism, too, for when he didn't want anyone to see into his real thoughts. Anger was easy to slip into, like a second skin. Anger was distracting, forceful, it scared people off.

He turned finally, hand still in Devlin's and heeding the tug on it against his own wishes. "I kissed you. Yeah. Yeah I did that." And Devlin didn't like it. Right? He turned away, he put a hand up against Jung Su's chest as though to protect himself from further unwanted advances. It didn't take an idiot to see that it was wrong, too. Fuck. Jung Su felt like he'd taken advantage of him. Devlin was so confused, look at him. So innocent. No one had really ever noticed him, in part because he was strange and he had little tics and twitches. He was known as 'that weird kid' who helped their mom out around the place, fixing clogged drains and shit.

But Jung Su noticed. He had always been there, watching Devlin, watching him grow. They grew together and at some point feelings developed. They weren't really related by blood, after all. If they had been two kids from two different families this wouldn't be so weird; he'd just be somebody pursuing the object of his desires. But they were related, by law. They were brothers to everyone who knew them.

He let out a snort—an angry, frustrated with himself snort. Jung Su's hand slid into his own hair, grasping the fine strands, throwing his carefully crafted appearance into disarray. "It's wrong. I know. It's fucked up. What do you want me to say? I already said I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fucking. Am fucked up in the head. Okay? I fucked up. I'm not supposed to kiss you. You're my brother and I love you, Dev, I really do, but I fucking just—" His hand dropped heavily to his side. "I don't love you the right way."

  • Don't you dare say I'm going to make it cause I don't believe a word you say
  • Rook
  • 109 posts
  • Kleptomaniac
  • 19
  • 6'0"
Flinch.

He didn't know what he wanted Jung Su to say. But he didn't like the tone. Ever since he was young, harsh tones immediately spun him into a cycle of anxiety, waiting for the hand to cuff him over the ear or grab onto the back of his neck. There was no reason to feel that way with Jung Su or Mom but it was a leftover trait. Some things were so automatic that it was difficult not to react viscerally.

"Don't... I-I'm not... mad."

Honestly, he wasn't sure what he was. It took him time for these things; this was exactly why Devlin hated surprises. It took him time to process things and by the time he was finished processing, it seemed like the rest of the world had moved on. It made his interactions with others frustrating--both for him and for the other person.

"I'm not mad."

This at least, he knew, even if the rest had yet to be sorted out. The rest, he didn't know how but he would have to eventually weed his way through his thoughts and feelings on them. His smile was crooked--it was always crooked, like he never truly learned how to smile in all his life.

"What's the right way?"

Fuck. He hated the way he... scared Devlin. Or startled him. It was the voice and the tone, not necessarily the words, that much he knew. He knew Devlin didn't like being yelled at--nobody did, really, but for Devlin it was particularly unpleasant. His own frustrations just boiled over but it wasn't an excuse to yell at the poor kid. His kid brother, someone he should've been protecting--even against himself.

Jung Su didn't know what to say to him after that. What was the right way? What was with that smile? He wasn't freaking out over Jung Su's confession but... he would. When it sank in, it would. And then that bemused look would become a look of disgust. He would start to pull away even more. Jung Su saw it like it was written in the air. Things were going to change, and not for the better.

"I don't know, Dev," he said--softly this time. Too softly, too... vulnerable in his own state of pain. He fucked it up. Royally. "Let me... think about it. Okay? Let me figure out what to do and then we'll talk about it." He gently pulled his hand away, but touched the top of Devlin's head affectionately. "Try to get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Okay? I'm sorry for yelling. I'm not mad either."

  • Don't you dare say I'm going to make it cause I don't believe a word you say
  • Rook
  • 109 posts
  • Kleptomaniac
  • 19
  • 6'0"
"...okay."

He could hardly say anything else. Devlin himself needed time to think, too. About what happened and what it meant. And of course, every single word Jung Su spoke would spin around in his head as he tried to make some sense of it. Reluctantly, he dropped his hand as Jung Su pulled away. It wasn't as if he had the power to make him stay, anyway.

He lowered his head as Jung Su touched the top of his head, like he did when he was trying to say without words that things were okay or that they'd be okay. It was usually reassuring but now Devlin was... worried. About what it all meant, about what Jung Su was thinking. I'm not mad. Devlin tried to make it as clear as he could, even if the rest of him was muddling through it all.

He peered up as Jung Su said he wasn't mad either. There was some relief in that tight ball in his chest at those words. They weren't mad at each other, then. Just... whatever was happening. It was kind of scary but then... pretty much anything Devlin went through could be categorized that way. Jung Su, though, he was brave and strong and tough. Whatever was going on, he would surely find the answers and the right way to... do whatever it was he was thinking about when he... when he kissed Devlin.

"...night."