avatar_Niall Gallagher

The Lucky One

Started by Niall Gallagher, Feb 28, 2019, 02:37 PM

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Oh, how he wanted to wriggle out from under those promises and at the same time, how he wanted to worm his way into a safe place, like curled around Ken's heart. All he wanted was right beside him. Some seconds, he was content, some seconds his mind itched for the cure. He closed his eyes as Ken pulled him closer and he immediately dropped his head affectionately to nuzzle him. Ken said he wasn't giving up and Niall wanted to believe that so badly. Once, he had given up on him and that straight up tore his world apart but although it had broken him, Niall still had a hard time holding a grudge. After all the things he had done, he wasn't one to be pointing fingers at people anymore.

"Is that so?" Niall asked, looking up with a spark of the old impish expression on his face. "Because I always thought it was all about Jem."

It wasn't; Niall grew up hearing all about his brothers. Those were the hunters he was supposed to turn to for role models. Them and his father. The Gallaghers. Legacy hunters. There were a number of those around the world but in their little hole in the woods, it was all about the Gallaghers. Niall wondered how they'd feel if they were set out in the US of A. Ken looked like he had taken to it pretty well. Jem, too. But had they met any of the US legacies yet?

After a moment, he haltingly asked, "My brothers...? How... are they these days? Do you know?"

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#181
He knew he shouldn't, but when Niall nuzzled against him so endearingly, Ken briefly nuzzled him back. This was... not bravery, but a sort of peace. Peace with himself and peace with who he was. Who Niall was. In their youth, simple and innocent gestures of affection like these had to be carefully hidden but out here, right now, they were free to express themselves. It was nice.

"Jem's a real gem," Ken deadpanned. He didn't want to speak ill of a colleague. Jem was a good hunter and a skilled one. He didn't let emotions get in the way of the job, for which Ken had much respect. (Except now, Ken was pretty emotional in his own way, but—he wasn't on the job.) A shite personality didn't mean that Jem didn't deserve credit where credit was due.

"Your brothers are doing... well." In that they were mostly unchanged. "Paddy's in the States now. We met a few times, but... he's still the same, I'm afraid. Danny boy's back home, holding down the fort. Has his own pub, too." Ken smiled fondly; Danny's good-natured personality made him a far better pub owner than hunter, it was true.

"...Junior ran afoul of some banshees a few years ago. Hurt pretty bad. Had to stop hunting. He helps Colm Sr. manage the clan but last I heard, he's given up hunting for good. Oh, but he's married now! Has a wife and son."

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Content sigh. See, this is what he needed, really. Ken didn't shy away, didn't look around as if they were going to be caught because Niall was being extra affectionate. Some things never changed but it looked like some did. Finally, one that changed for the better. Niall made a hand waving motion, sweeping away the talk of Jem, even though he was the one that brought him up. No thank you. He would rather move onto greener pastures.

Of course, Paddy came up first. Niall made a hideous face in response. Of course Paddy was here. Why were they all here? Not bothering to ask if Paddy was in this part of the States, Niall listened to what had become of Daniel instead and he smiled. Now that sounded like Dan, all right. He would be a great pub owner. He always had that open smile and personality. Of all of his older brothers, Daniel was the one that acted most like one.

"Good for him," he said of Daniel. Then nearly choked to death on air when he heard what happened to Junior. It made him think that he'd died but Ken continued and his mini heart attack calmed down.

"Shit, I thought you were going to say he died," Niall admitted outright. Despite all the strife between them all, Niall didn't wish ill on his brothers. Crazy, though, thinking of one of his brothers with a family. Damn. He wondered if the son was a third. Colm the third. If he was going to be a hunter. He would have to be. Legacy. Poor kid. But then if Junior wasn't hunting then... Maybe their father was training him.

"I guess I don't get to be the cool uncle, but I'm sure Dan's doing a good job with that."

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#183
"I said they were doing well!" Ken protested. If Junior had died, he would have led with that first, rather than giving Niall the good news and then dumping cold water all over him with the bad. For the most part, all of his brothers were well. Maybe not happy, but Paddy and Junior never really seemed capable of happiness the way that normal people were.

Then again, none of them were normal, who came from legacy hunting families. Even the legacy hunters from these parts were wound up—that or they were insufferable trophy hunters.

"Danny's spoiling him rotten. So you know the kid loves him." And Junior really disliked it, but... he was still good to his son and his wife. Ken met the young boy once, when he had to go back home to settle his parents' estate. He was a nice little one, bright-eyed and good-mannered. Called him Sir and smiled at him with all the innocence of a child.

"...Danny asked about you recently. They all have. Your brothers." Junior and Paddy not as often, but they asked Ken when they learned that he was in the States, the last place that Niall was rumored to have fled to.

"They miss you."

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"He'd love me, too, if he knew me!" Niall boasted. He always thought he'd make a great cool uncle. He would be the one his nephews or nieces could come to with pretty much anything without worrying that they'd be reprimanded. Of course, he would be a terrible influence for sure. Like the thing with Cain. He totally would have encouraged him to have a drink with him. Why not? The first drink was special and he wanted to be there for it. Just... he shouldn't have gone and tried to get drunk at the same time, was all.

Niall paused. The question had been stirring for some time--even before he ran into Ken. And now Ken was answering it, probably sensing that the question lingered there. Do my brothers wonder about me? Do they care that I left? Did they come after me? He smiled slightly. Good to know Dan asked about him. He expected as much from him. The rest of it surprised him, though. He side-eyed Ken. Was he just telling him that to make him feel better?

I miss them, too.

"I figured they forgot about me by now." Recently, though. Dan asked about him recently. They missed him. They actually cared. He could have hugged them and kissed them all. Despite the way they acted when they were younger, they were painted now in the rosy light of nostalgia and homesickness.

"Hey," he said, stopping and turning toward Ken. "Did you know I was here?"

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#185
"I'm sure he would," said Ken sincerely, knowing how easy it was for people to love Niall. Truly love him, because he had the gift of love in him. He loved people and things passionately—or did, once upon a time. He was genuine in his affections, too, unlike so many that Ken had met in the world, who wore so many masks that even they didn't know who they were inside.

"But I don't need the competition." That was mostly said as an aside, and as a joke. He didn't know for sure, but... a little green fairy told him that he was the front-runner in Niall's eyes. Of course, that might have been simple vanity, but maybe it wasn't.

He sobered up at the thought of Niall's remaining brothers. They missed him and asked about him, and it was clear that time had healed a lot of the wounds that Niall inflicted (however unwittingly) upon them. But there had never been real closure between them. Niall had never gone back to Ireland to fully mend his fractured relationship with them and that was as big of a divide in his relationship with his brothers as the one between him and Ken. There was ten years of making up to do, after all.

"They didn't forget about you. Your parents hadn't either." But Colm Sr. was a different beast from his sons. Ken still felt the anger in him. And the hurt. The hurt fuelled the anger and he had always been a hard man to begin with, and set in his ways. When Niall ran away from home, that seemed to have been the last straw. It hurt him down to the bone; Ken only realized this as he grew up, and grew into an adult.

When Niall stopped, he did too. "No... not here specifically. But I hoped... I searched for you..."

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"I think he's the least of your worries, then," Niall said with a wry smile.

Which... was true. Niall didn't even know the boy so he was hardly competition. What Ken had to worry about was much worse than that. JC was the tip of the iceberg. Did he know that? Niall didn't think so and he was a little worried that if he elaborated on that mess, he was really going to send Ken on his way.

"Have you even considered the possibility that I MIGHT have somebody special? HM, Kenny? HMMMMM?" And this was assuming Ken wanted to be that somebody special again. Niall got mixed messages in that regard. Every time he went in close, every time he thought they might really kiss, they didn't. And Niall was pretty sure he'd given Ken more than a handful of chances to go ahead and touch him if he wanted. Kissing, touching, that led to other avenues that Ken just seemed maybe not that interested in exploring anymore.

They were probably just friends, then. Best friends, though.

Niall searched his best friend's gaze for a long moment as a surge of helpless hopefulness swelled in his chest.

"You searched for me!" he said aloud, the thought far too loud to keep to himself. Ken actually searched for him? He probably came after him too far along during Niall's journey to follow the obvious trails he'd left behind but somehow, he'd made his way here, to this little tucked away hick town. (Which admittedly had become a hub for supernatural activity somehow--Niall had no idea what was going on in the scheme of things, but definitely big things.)

Niall launched himself onto Ken, embracing him with all the enthusiasm of a big, delighted puppy.

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#187
Ken had considered it. He thought of it with a strange tightness n his chest, that after all this time, Niall was within his grasp but might not be his entirely. They could have been best friends again but that dissatisfied Ken's prudish little heart. In his heart, there couldn't be anyone else.

I'm special, he thought to himself unhappily, though he kept the feelings and the thoughts from his face. Safer to talk about other things, like Niall's family and his own long, fruitless search. The searching led him here, but fate delivered Niall into his hands.

Niall, however, delivered Niall into his arms.

Ken almost fell back, he was so unprepared to be sprung on. His arms slipped easily around Niall and he turned his head to hide the smile into Niall's curly hair. Well. That was a very satisfactory response! Even... amazing! He only wished that he had started earlier. There were signs left behind, but by the time he got to them, he was too late. Always a step or two too late.

But he never stopped searching. And he didn't stop hoping.

"...you can't." Ken kept circling back to it. Someone special. "You can't, Poodles," he muttered beside Niall's ear. "It's no good if we're not together."

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Somebody had been looking for him all this time. Ken had been looking for him. He searched. He found! Niall smiled widely as he clung tightly to him. God, he was so real. So, so real. He could feel him in his arms, he could feel arms around him. He could smell him, the scent of his hair, his clothes. Breathing him in, Niall held on and he couldn't erase that stupid childish grin painted on his face.

"You searched for me..." he said again, on a sigh of content, as if his long journey had come to an end. As if he could finally rest easy for once in his life, knowing that one of his biggest anxieties never existed. Somebody cared enough to come after him, even if it took him some time to do it. He laughed, even though tears squeezed from his eyes at the same time. Why did he feel so... so overwhelmed by that revelation? Somebody wanted him enough to look. He buried his face in Ken's shoulder and he closed his eyes.

You can't, he heard, softly against his ear. It confused him enough to make him open his eyes. Can't? Niall turned his head to look at Ken, though they were so close together, his eyes nearly crossed. No good if they weren't together, he said. Niall blinked a few times, befuddled. He reached up to turn Ken's face toward his so they could look one in another in the eyes.

"Can't what? What do you mean, Ken?"

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"I had to," said Ken softly, as he felt Niall pressing his face into his shoulder. In turn, he pressed his own face closer to Niall's hair, breathing him in. It was almost like a mania. Like an obsession. Once the idea entered into his mind, he wouldn't let go of it. He had to find Niall at all costs. He had to find him, had to, had to...

But Niall didn't seem to understand what he was saying and Ken didn't know if it sounded too childish to elaborate. He wanted... He just wanted Niall. A simple desire, but for a complicated man trapped in a complicated situation. But he wanted him so desperately that he had searched to the other side of the Earth for him...

Ken looked at him for a few long beats. Earlier, he had wanted to kiss Niall--even when he was being a child about jogging for one block, and accusing Ken of ruining his life by throwing away all of his drugs. Ken told himself that he would wait for the right time. The right time to speak his feelings, eloquently, persuasively, to bring Niall back to him.

But...

He had no words left in him. Ken just leaned in. Their foreheads brushed first, then the very tips of their noses. Then the lips, so softly that it barely counted. But it still did. It was a kiss, innocent and sweet.

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To make things right? Was that why? Hm... did he expect to come across this mess when he set out searching for his old friend, his old lover? Somehow, Niall doubted it. With their roles reversed, Niall couldn't even say how he would react if it he had to be the one to drag Ken up off the ground. Niall was so accustomed to being the one dredged up from the mud that it was hard to envision himself as anybody's savior. But he thought he could try it, if it was for Ken's sake.

Ken had grown silent, which meant he was thinking, withdrawing into himself to search for answers. Niall normally just said whatever was at the top of his mind, good or bad. Blurting things out that way had a way of backfiring on him, though. Still, the time it took for Ken to think up a response was unnerving. Was he trying to find a way to lie to him and spare his feelings somehow? From what?

Niall twitched slightly; he was starting to think he should have left things alone. Besides, Ken didn't have to answer any of his questions. He ought to know by now that Niall said a lot of things--dumb things--that he could freely disregard. Deciding the silence was becoming too much for him, Niall started to speak: "You don't have--"

To say anything, he was going to say, but the words were headed off at the pass by Ken leaning in. They had danced this dance before already. Niall didn't move back as Ken kept moving in on him, skin on skin. Nose to nose. Then lips to lips. This was nothing like their first kiss. Although it had been messy and a bit fumbly, their first kiss had been the kind that erupted from young, first time passion. This kiss was so hesitant, as if Ken was asking permission when he certainly never had to in the past.

Funny. Niall felt like he had been on the other end of a kiss like this earlier. Only... he'd been a bit drunk. He was pretty sure. Niall's grip on Ken loosened slightly, hand rising to cup Ken's cheek and stop him from chickening out--if indeed he wanted to. Slowly, he deepened the kiss, stepping into Ken so that their bodies were flush against one another.

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Ken didn't want to push things too far beyond their comfort zone. He didn't want to take advantage of Niall's vulnerability and his weakness because he could see that that was what people around him had done. Ken wasn't one of them. He couldn't ever be one of them--the users, the abusers, the takers. He didn't want to be on their level and he didn't want Niall to associate him with any one of them.

When Niall went to deepen the kiss, he let it happen for a brief moment, because he wanted it. He had waited for this and dreamt of this for so long that the desire was nearly ingrained into him by now. Love was a once in a lifetime thing for Ken. Love was his driving force to keep moving even when all the leads had died away to nothing and when it seemed so hopeless that he couldn't possibly fathom finding one single person in all the world.

The softness and the warmth of the kiss was a balm to his own cracked heart and he wanted it to last, but they weren't ready for this. Not yet. He couldn't let this happen because he loved Niall and he wanted what they had to mean something.

So with all the reluctance in the world, Ken pulled away. He let out a quiet sigh and pulled Niall in back close for another hug, in case his actions were mistaken for rejection. It was hard to pull back, with every cell screaming for Niall, but he had to follow logic, too. And logic dictated that they had to learn how to walk again, before they soared in each other's arms.

"...I'm... your someone special. Right?" he asked tentatively, as his heart twisted and clenched. "There's no one else... right?"

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It was... it was the sick, wasn't it? It was because he'd been sick, wasn't it? That's why Ken was moving away and breaking the kiss off. But he drank a ton of water after! He was clean! He was... he didn't understand. Another hug followed it, though, which reinforced the thought that it must have been something wrong with the kiss itself. Did Ken not feel the familiar flutter of butterflies? Did he not feel the warmth effusing his chest? The beat of his heart... Ken's heart beat quickly when Niall slid a hand over his chest and it reassured him. Ken felt something.

I don't understand, were the words on his lips but he fell silent as Ken spoke instead. Every little piece of him bent toward that voice, waiting to hear what he had to say. He felt the rumble of his voice as he spoke, the pleasurable thrill that ran up and down his spine every time he felt Ken's hands on him. Could it just be him? Niall nibbled his lower lip, then tilted his head downward.

Huh?

Why...?

Niall's own words flittered back through his mind, challenging Ken. Have you even considered the possibility that I MIGHT have somebody special? Slowly, Niall moved back, hands sliding over Ken's shoulders and holding him at arm's length.

"Kenny," he said in a teasing tone of playful wonder. "Are you jealous? No. No, what's the word..."

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Anxious.

Ken was anxious. He hadn't seen evidence of another man yet so jealousy wasn't quite the right word for what he felt, but he definitely didn't feel at ease about the idea of someone else being in Niall's life. And yet, he had to admit the possibility. Niall had been away for ten years. It would be ludicrous to believe that he had stayed true to some teenage romance-gone-wrong.

Ken himself had his fair share of lovers too, although none serious enough to warrant a real long-term commitment. Loneliness and the desire for companionship resulted in several love affairs but he was always on the move and always searching for Niall. They quickly fizzled when it became apparent that Ken's heart was elsewhere.

His heart was here. And it beat rough and hard in his chest as Niall pulled back and put him at arms' length. Niall looked amused but Ken was serious. He was dead serious. Did Niall have someone in his life? Could he kiss that way if he did? Ken's gaze dropped low and his brows furrowed in bemusement.

"...it's not..." funny. Not to him, anyway.

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Jealousy wasn't the word. Ken seemed to agree, that or he was trying to say something else. So serious, though. Ken looked upset, which didn't necessarily make Niall feel good about himself. It was just a bit of playful teasing. He'd never seen a jealous Ken before or a Ken that worried that there might be another person in Niall's life. Why should he? Back then, Niall had eyes only for Ken and that was clear as the Irish skies.

There were... lovers, he supposed he could call them, although love was hard to come by. Niall wanted it, probably more than anybody he was actually with. They wanted somebody to scratch their itches until the next good-looking person come along. After a while, Niall stopped expecting anything more than one night stands and delighted when there was more. In the end, he just disappointed himself, though.

"Easy, tiger," Niall said, winding his arms around the back of Ken's neck. "My last boyfriend broke up with me a month ago and it wasn't serious. This might surprise you but... nobody takes me seriously around here. So... you've got nothing to be jealous or worried about."