We Are Bulletproof

"What? Your family?" He stopped playing around at the mention of them, recalling their conversation at the cafe. Little bits of her history had come out throughout the time that they'd known each other as well, things that he felt she wouldn't divulge to just anyone. It had to mean that she trusted him now, to be able to open up about it.

"Tell me. You can tell me anything."

(It's been a while so I'm locking this thread but if you feel like starting it up again, send me a PM. 🙂 )

"Hey! I'm still a tough guy! Anybody you need taken care of, you know who to call!"

Look.

Listen.

Just because he was going through some stuff didn't mean that he stopped being a tough guy and became a sudden marshmallow, okay? Jung Su deeply resented that--and also now felt like he needed to go find somebody to fight, maybe, to maintain his reputation. It was only a few people that he let down his guard around; the rest of the world definitely saw a punk on a fast bike.

"Don't tell anybody I'm nice. If I hear rumors being spread around town, I'm gonna come back and find you!" He squeezed her again playfully, for emphasis, before letting go. But he kept an arm around her waist anyway, since she had flopped into his arms, and steered her down the path where Skittle had trotted off to, sniffing plants and barking at swaying grass.

That was a stupid idea, and he liked that Kyunsoo wasn't afraid to say it. Some people did; they sugarcoated the truth, dancing around it for fear of hurt feelings. But once in a while, somebody came along who told it like it was, and that said a lot about Kyunsoo. Jung Su smiled slightly at her and nodded. Noted. Dumb ideas weren't going to fly here.

"You know the funny thing is, I think they might be more comfortable with a letter than me!" He laughed, somewhat amused—yeah he really picked a weird little person to like. But that was the way it went in life, he supposed. If Kyunsoo had come along earlier, he might be with her now instead of awkwardly bumbling along with someone else. Jung Su liked her; he found that he wanted to hang out with her and to spend time with her. Something about her was different from all the other girls he knew.

"I guess I should give it another try." Turning to her, he gently tugged on her wrist to stop her. And then he hugged her very warmly. "Thank you. There's not a lot of people I would've talked to about this, but... I guess I feel comfortable with you." Which was funny because they hadn't even known each other that long!

"It's... uh... hard to tell how they feel at any given time." That... was an understatement, to be honest. Jung Su never knew if anything he said or did would be upsetting; meanwhile, he himself was rarely ever offended. Or if he was, people knew about it. He used to be better at seeing the signs when he was younger but lately it felt like the distance had grown.

Sighing, he watched the rock skipping away down the path. "I don't know. It feels... weird. Like there's this thing in the air, that we're not talking about. I don't know how to open that discussion again. And we live together, so that makes it worse, you know? I have to physically leave the apartment to get any space and time to think. And they're not good at saying what they think so... I feel like at this point we should just write each other letters and leave them on the kitchen table."

He snorted--that sounded like a ridiculous way to communicate but at the same time... It also felt like the best way to get any discussion going.

"Hm." He thought about how much to divulge; they weren't close enough for him to name names yet, but he did feel that Kyunsoo was trustworthy enough to seek advice from. She seemed to have gone through a lot—Jung Su had too. He saw it in her eyes, that she knew pain, she knew loss, and perhaps she knew how to deal with the prospect of it, or at least understand his concerns.

"It's someone I grew up with. We used to be close, but you know... When people grow up, they sometimes grow apart too. We couldn't be more different, believe me." They said opposites attracted but on the other hand, it bred a lot of misunderstanding as well. People who were polar opposites understood things differently, too, so sometimes it was hard to meet in the middle.

Jung Su sighed; he looked away, feeling Kyunsoo's eyes on him. "I've had feelings for them for a long while. Years. But the problem is... I don't know. Risking everything for something that might not work out... I don't know if it's worth it. I kissed them, but I don't think it went well. I think it just... made them more confused than anything, so..."

"Oh yeah, it was pretty bad," he laughed with a little scrunch of the nose. As a kid he did plenty of dumb things like that, though. And he got into a lot of trouble. At first it was because he didn't trust anybody; he had a bad habit of keeping his thoughts to himself, too, which meant that people didn't understand him or what made him act out. Arguably he was still kind of like that now, but bottling things up meant that eventually everything had to come out all at once.

"Well, your secret's safe with me." He wasn't going to run around telling people that Kyunsoo kept mistaking the kitchen for the bathroom. It wasn't so much sad as maybe just bemusing, but also funny. As Skittle was let off his leash, he made a break for the field so Jung Su followed suit, keeping an eye on him in case he ran off too far.

"Actually, there's a reason I came by today." Jung Su eyed her out of the corner of his eyes. "I kind of wanted to get your thoughts on something." Kyunsoo was a hell of a lot more stable and mature than most of his friends, to be honest. Plus, he wanted a stranger's perspective—relative stranger, anyway—rather than advice from people who knew him well, or who would have said what they thought he wanted to hear.

"I think I might have screwed up a pretty important relationship, and I'm not sure what to do to make things right again."

Yep, she was pretty tiny for a girl. Or Jung Su was tall for a guy--distinctly possible given that he was Asian, and most guys didn't get over 5'7 or 5'8. He wasn't hung up on being tall, though; it wasn't like he could do anything about it anyway short of putting himself on a rack and getting stretched out. And also living with a tall ass little brother, he just had to deal with not being the tallest around.

He laughed slightly at her story about wandering around lost in her own place. "Good thing you managed to find the door today then," he teased, ducking away slightly in case she felt like swatting at him again. But he understood that, actually. "When I first came here, when my mom adopted me and took me in, I got super lost in our apartment building. Every floor looks the same, you know? So I ended up on the wrong floor trying to break into somebody else's room!"

That guy was PISSED OFF, too--he came out yelling at Jung Su and chased him down the hall, all the way to the elevator. He didn't tell her that though--that part wasn't really cool enough to let anyone else know about.

Well, he didn't know what she was paying him back for, but the kiss was sweet and shy. Laughing, he placed a hand on top of her head and gave it a very gentle rub. "Hey, you owe me anything, got it? I'm not here because I want something from you." And if anyone did, then they were bastards because Kyunsoo was about the nicest and sweetest girl around.

Opening the door, he let her out first--along with Skittle who was bouncing off the walls--and then closed it behind him. A large cloud scuttled past the sun, but otherwise it was a nicer day than usual. Jung Su slipped his hands into his pockets as he set off down the driveway, choosing an arbitrary direction. "So how's everything been? You gotten settled yet?"

"It's... brisk?" There was a definite nip in the air, that was for sure, since it was still winter time. "It's sunny though," he added, watching her clipping the leash onto Skittle's collar in preparation to go out for a walk. It was just a stroll around the block, though—he didn't think they'd be wandering the entire town.

"You'd better wear a jacket just in case. I'll hold it for you if it gets hot." He reached out to scratch Skittle behind the ear again, smiling slightly down at the energetic little dog.

"Thanks a lot. You didn't have to do that." He slung the jacket over one arm, smiling; it was nice for someone to do something for him without any conditions or ulterior motives. People like that were pretty rare these days, he thought somewhat affectionately. Before he could say anything more, though, a little lightning flash bolted at him out of nowhere.

"Whoa shit!" Taken by surprise, he almost fell over, but put out a hand to stabilize himself against the wall, while the other cradled Skittle in the crook of his arm. The fact that it leapt that high off the ground just to get to him! "He's—oh hey, hi, yes I'm glad to see you too Skittle!" It was kind of a slobbery series of licks and doggy kisses, but he laughed; it was hard not to be happy when something seemed that much overjoyed to see him.

As Kyunsoo pulled Skittle off, he wiped his face with the edge of his sleeve. "Guess he really likes me huh?" Jung Su wasn't packing dog treats in his pockets so that couldn't be it! Bending down, he patted Skittle and scratched him behind the ears gently. "Maybe he needs to go for a walk, he's a ball of energy right now! Are you busy? Do you want to take a walk around the block?"

"He's cute." A little... different looking from most dogs, but Jung Su—who knew next to nothing about dog breeds—assumed it was some exotic variety. He'd seen some crazy looking poodles and mixes, so he didn't think that Skittle would be any different. And he was a friendly little thing, anyway, not like those ultra aggressive hounds that one of his neighbors had. (But the guy was a little... weird too, so it fit the overall theme.)

Before he could bring up his jacket, though, she did—and Jung Su lifted his brows. He entered as she pulled on his arm slightly, and pushed the door closed behind him in case Skittle made a break for it. "You read my mind! I was just going to ask about it," he laughed as she returned with it, accepting it with a nod of thanks.

"Oh you washed it!" That sort of went above and beyond—she was pretty thoughtful to do that for him, especially after he kind of forgot about it for a couple of days while some other stuff happened in his life.

Yeah he was sort of... off in space for a bit while he waited for the door to open. Resting bitch face—he had it. It might have startled her, since she immediately asked him what was wrong and he blinked at her, not realizing that he was looking like he'd seen the apocalypse just a minute ago. He smiled, though, as soon as he saw her familiar face.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong. Hey." Kind of a belated greeting but... that was fine. Jung Su leaned in to give her a little peck on the cheek by way of greeting, while that energetic little doggy of hers barked and ran around in the background, sensing that a friend had come to visit. "Hey, puppy's looking pretty good huh? You too, you going somewhere?" She appeared to be dressed to go out; that or she dressed up all the time at home, which was also a distinct possibility. But unlikely as it was the weekend.

In retrospect he should have prooobably called ahead but he didn't actually set out to be here. He went out for a drive and found himself in the area, and remembered his jacket, so here he was.

Once again, Jung Su's bike came to a rolling halt in front of a now-familiar house. He sat there for a moment with his helmet on, letting the engine die while he gazed off at the house. Underneath the black glossy visor of the helmet, he was frowning. Honestly he probably shouldn't be here but... he sort of felt as though he needed to set matters straight.

And he had to get his jacket back!

Jung Su wasn't as obsessive about his stuff as a certain other little person around town but that didn't mean he was throwing his things away randomly, either. That jacket was sort of important to him, too—it was the first one he ever bought with his own money, so it had a meaningful impact. And it looked good, he couldn't deny that.

But he hesitated in front of that house because he knew that a really nice, caring girl lived inside. A girl who seemed to like him, and a girl he liked back. It was just... he didn't know if he should continue down this path. He didn't want to lead her on, or promise more than he was capable of giving. It was kind of presumptuous at this stage, but he imagined that if she said yes to going on dates with him...

Well. Nothing to do but find out, he supposed. Jung Su never shrank from what needed to be done, even unpleasant tasks. So he pulled off his helmet, shook out his hair and slipped off the bike. He strode to the door with a purpose and knocked on the door lightly.

@MinSquishy~  @Min Kyunsoo

Fuck. He hated the way he... scared Devlin. Or startled him. It was the voice and the tone, not necessarily the words, that much he knew. He knew Devlin didn't like being yelled at--nobody did, really, but for Devlin it was particularly unpleasant. His own frustrations just boiled over but it wasn't an excuse to yell at the poor kid. His kid brother, someone he should've been protecting--even against himself.

Jung Su didn't know what to say to him after that. What was the right way? What was with that smile? He wasn't freaking out over Jung Su's confession but... he would. When it sank in, it would. And then that bemused look would become a look of disgust. He would start to pull away even more. Jung Su saw it like it was written in the air. Things were going to change, and not for the better.

"I don't know, Dev," he said--softly this time. Too softly, too... vulnerable in his own state of pain. He fucked it up. Royally. "Let me... think about it. Okay? Let me figure out what to do and then we'll talk about it." He gently pulled his hand away, but touched the top of Devlin's head affectionately. "Try to get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Okay? I'm sorry for yelling. I'm not mad either."

"What do you want me to tell you, Dev?" Snap. Jung Su's temper was always his downfall. It got him into dicey situations; it pissed off all the wrong people. It was his defence mechanism, too, for when he didn't want anyone to see into his real thoughts. Anger was easy to slip into, like a second skin. Anger was distracting, forceful, it scared people off.

He turned finally, hand still in Devlin's and heeding the tug on it against his own wishes. "I kissed you. Yeah. Yeah I did that." And Devlin didn't like it. Right? He turned away, he put a hand up against Jung Su's chest as though to protect himself from further unwanted advances. It didn't take an idiot to see that it was wrong, too. Fuck. Jung Su felt like he'd taken advantage of him. Devlin was so confused, look at him. So innocent. No one had really ever noticed him, in part because he was strange and he had little tics and twitches. He was known as 'that weird kid' who helped their mom out around the place, fixing clogged drains and shit.

But Jung Su noticed. He had always been there, watching Devlin, watching him grow. They grew together and at some point feelings developed. They weren't really related by blood, after all. If they had been two kids from two different families this wouldn't be so weird; he'd just be somebody pursuing the object of his desires. But they were related, by law. They were brothers to everyone who knew them.

He let out a snort—an angry, frustrated with himself snort. Jung Su's hand slid into his own hair, grasping the fine strands, throwing his carefully crafted appearance into disarray. "It's wrong. I know. It's fucked up. What do you want me to say? I already said I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fucking. Am fucked up in the head. Okay? I fucked up. I'm not supposed to kiss you. You're my brother and I love you, Dev, I really do, but I fucking just—" His hand dropped heavily to his side. "I don't love you the right way."