fresh salmon
catnip
treat cats :3
thank
(from a random phone he stole)
Ezra Chen
Who is this?
friend
of cat
catfriend
cats want treat
:3
Are you messing with me?
:( no
Catnip
Serious business
My cats are not mistreated.
No no
Ezra good to cats
Which cat
Your favorite?
Who are you?
Is this Amelia from across the way?
*thinking*
yes
:3
who is Ezra favorite cat?
I don't have a favorite.
:O
Lies
everybody have favorite
But they're all unique in their own way.
then
who most unique?
This is a really strange line of questioning...
:(
how come Lucky not Ezra favorite?
He's one of my favorites. Why?
You just say
No favorite!
Now Lucky one of favorites?
Isn't it like choosing between children? They all have good qualities.
You thnk cats like
Children?
(Crazy ass cat man. *shakes head*)
Well I'm never going to have children so...
Lucky not want to be Ezra child...
...What?
If all cats drowning
Who Ezra save first?
Are you planning to steal my cats?
...no... why I steal cats? Cats plenty in street
Answer question!
No!
Answer! Or
I KILL LUCKY
I knew it! You crazy bitch.
what?
...
uh
yeah!
I kill Lucky DEAD if
you don't answer!
You know this is a form of terrorism, right, you old bat.
If Ezra no answer in 5 seconds
LUCKY GET THROAT CUT
and
AND THEN
GET STEPPED ON
3 TIMES
/he's banging on the old lady's door
EZRAAAAAA!
You're going to release him!
NO!
Lucky not in house
He
In secret place Ezra not know where it is
Why?!
ANSWER
THE QUESTION!!
WHO EZRA FAVORITE CAT AND WHY IT IS LUCKY?!
Lucky?!
It not Lucky?! WHY?!!!
Cats cannot type.
I said that I have no favorite.
...
Ezra
Terrible person
I am not. You're terrible to threaten my cats.
EZRA SAY GOODBYE TO LUCKY!!!
LUCKY NEVER COMING BACK
Where IS Lucky anyway? >.>
...I suppose I'll have to give the extra treats to Snowball.
SNOWBALL
NOT EVEN PUREBREED!!
SNOWBALL EAT PLASTIC!
SNOWBALL
NEVER FIRST AT DOOR WHEN EZRA COME HOME
OR GIVE MOUSES AND BIRDS TO EZRA
SNOWBALL
NOT LOVE EZRA LIKE
LUCKY LOVE EZRA
I can't believe I'm saying this but...
Lucky? Are you TEXTING me?
No!
This
Amy
Lia
This crazy cat lady! Not Lucky!
Cats no know how text, Ezra crazy
They can if they aren't cats...
...
....
........
Meow meow
Meow
Lucky?
:( Lucky give Ezra best years of life
And
Lucky not even favorite
And
And now Ezra going kill Lucky
Where are you really?
Lucky not say
Ezra hunter
Ezra kill
People like Lucky
Then why would you reveal yourself to me!
I DIDN'T
EZRA MADE LUCKY GUESS
Lucky just want
Catnip
And salmon
Wait, so you're actually...
Lucky is Lucky
Are the others?
...Snowball
Kill Snowball
>:(
Snowball is the dumbest. He can't possibly...
Then why Ezra give Lucky treats to SNOWBALL?
Because if you're not coming home...
If Lucky come home
Lucky not get treat
Lucky get bullet!
I guess you haven't heard.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Lucky.
Heard what?
Ezra?
What wrong?
I've been having doubts.
*GASP*
EZRA NO
NO
NO
NO DOGS!!!!
What? I didn't say anything about dogs.
Oh
What Ezra talk about doubts?
The hunter life.
Ezra not sure want be hunter?
Why change mind?
I've been talking to some people. Not... human people.
Like Lucky? :3
Ezra not bad person
Do bad thing
But not bad person
Ezra good to cat
To Lucky
Maybe because of the guilt, I started collecting strays... er. You guys. I don't know.
Maybe subconsciously I knew something like this would happen.
Ezra not like killing
Lucky always knew Ezra nice guy
But what now for Ezra?
Dropping my job's as good as getting disowned.
:(
Ezra force self to keep killing? Because family?
Even if Ezra know
killing wrong?
No...
It's just not that easy leaving behind most of my life.
Why Ezra not make new life?
Happy life with Lucky!
Leave hunt
Kill
Snowball
leave all behind!
I wouldn't kill Snowball to do it. >.>
Ezra
dumb
Lucky say leave hunt, kill and Snowball
Not kill Snowball
if Lucky want Snowball dead, Lucky kill Snowball
It easy
One push out window
Your English is atrocious.
Or... amazing, actually, since you're... a cat.
...
Lucky born cat!
But Lucky learn from human
How speak
How walk on 2 legs
How
do other funner things. ;3
Wait, so you're just a magic cat? A familiar maybe?
Lucky shifter
Lucky brother Jinxy familiar though
...so shifters CAN be familiars.
Maybe!
Or maybe Jinxy mooch like Lucky. :P Dunno.
Why?
I'll keep that information to myself.
Wait... mooch? Is that what this is about?
Maybe at first...
Ezra, Lucky have truth to tell
Lucky
keep other humans
Not just Ezra
Lucky
Little unfaithful...
Just little...
Well... that sounds...
like a cat.
:3 Ezra Lucky second favorite human though!
And the first?
Bakery man
He give Lucky warm milk every time Lucky go see him!
That's all it takes with cats...
Warm milk AND head pats!
You're a lot more cat than person, aren't you?
Ezra never have head pat
Lucky been cat long time
Not easy be human if no have parent
Get hungry, Cold. Bad people in street. Maybe die
Cat life is easy life. :3
I wasn't criticizing.
And somehow I doubt a human would appreciate a head pat the way a cat does.
Pfff
Ezra doubting head pat
If Ezra promise not hurt Lucky
Lucky come home, give Ezra head pat
Show Ezra power of head pat :balloon:
All right. That will be weird but...
Why weird?
Ezra want butt pat instead? ;3
No...
heheh
Lucky give head pat
Ezra like head pat, Lucky sure of this!
But Ezra promise
Not hurt Lucky!
I'm not going to hurt you.
But I really don't need a head pat either.
Ezra need head pat more than anybody!
Ezra sad
lost
Not sure what do with life
Head pat fix this
I don't think a head pat can fix all that.
Ezra too human
Not understand magic of head pat
Trust Lucky!
Lucky never lie to Ezra
I don't think you're lying. I just think head pats aren't as nice to humans as they are to... cats.
How Ezra know when Ezra never have head pat? :nosy:
Kids get head pats sometimes.
Hah! Lucky not talk about small human head pat! That not do anything.
Lucky talk about special head pat
Only cat know about
But don't humans do it to cats?
Human do okay but not know what they doing
Only cats know how give proper head pat
...how though? You don't have hands.
...Lucky use hands right now... talk to Ezra with hands, not toes............
Oh.
Right.
Shifter.
Ezra forget ALREADY!?
No, I--
It's just hard to imagine you're not a cat.
Is weirder to think Lucky as human
Or think cat texting on phone??
Honestly it's all very weird.
It because Ezra have no friend like Lucky
Ezra ever see somebody shift?
Yes...
It like magic, right?
It pretty cool, if you think about it!
Funny how my father said it's unnatural but you were born that way.
Well
We not choose be born like this
But Lucky like be cat. :3 Everybody like cat. Like Lucky, give Lucky treat!
I guess it's a lot less easier on the obvious ones, huh? You can't just come into town as a cougar without people freaking out.
Oh no, no, Lucky friend cougar
It better than be cat
All forest animal food! It like live in buffet!
Really?
I guess they can put up a fight, too.
Cougar smart! Hide in forest, not easy to find.
Cougar not dangerous like wolf, though. Wolf angry now. So angry. All out looking for trouble!
Yeah well, I heard through the grapevine that one of us... I mean, a hunter... killed their alpha.
Ohhhh
Oh no Ezra
That
That mean BIG TROUBLE!
I know. I've heard it's a mess out there.
Ezra be careful!
If wolf find out Ezra hunter, they come. Kill Ezra! They not care if Ezra not one who kill alpha. :(
Even if I'm retired?
Ezra ever try talk sense to wolf or dog? :\
Even if I've had a change of heart?
Even if I become what I hunted?
Ezra not understand wolf mind
Wolf like
dog with bone
when mad
Not smart or civilized like cat
Are you trying to drive me out of town?
I suppose there's nothing left for me here.
Well is true, Ezra not safe here
But if Ezra leave... Lucky leave with Ezra
Of course. And the other four too. Despite how much you seem to hate Snowball.
...Lucky not hate Snowball till Ezra say give Lucky treat to Snowball. :bang:
Um...
So... Lucky.
What is your real name?
And... are all the others like you?
Lucky not have name
Mom die before could name Lucky. :( Hunters.
Lucky just Lucky!
And what Ezra mean, all others like me?
Ah. I guess that means you really are like my child. Hahah...
I meant the other cats. Are they all shifters?
Lucky not like child! Ezra never say that again!!
Lucky only shifter. All other cats just boring old cats.
Especially Snowball. Snowball most boring, most old cat.
Why not? I've had you a long time. I named you. It's like adoption. Isn't it?
Snowball is a sweet old man. Be nice.
Ezra
Dumb
Snowball going have accident
Soon
Don't you dare threaten Snowball.
:dizzy: Then Lucky threaten Jingles instead?
No, don't threaten ANY of them.
Ezra too serious!!
Oh-hhhh, you were joking. Hahaha...
(He wasn't)
haha
yes Lucky joke
haha Lucky funnycat~
All right, Lucky. I have some work to do so... come home and give this phone back to its owner.
Ezra talk about hunter work or people work?
Also no
This Lucky phone now
(LMAO)
People work... some hunter work but more to clean up some messes.
And no, that phone isn't yours. Leave it.
Okay. Just as long it not hunter work...
Lucky find phone, Lucky keep phone!
It say... Noah, but Lucky not know who Noah is.
...Noah get lots angry message from Alex person...
Some from Jinwoo person
hehe... they go on blind date...
Noah is a pretty common name. It could be anybody's phone.
...wait, Alex?
Also a common name but... How many Noahs know Alexs...?
Yup yup
Alex person angry, desperate, like wet cat. Not nice. Lucky don't think he like this person.
...was he talking about
vampire stuff?
Vampire stuff? Lucky not know
It just all sad desperate stuff like
NOAH COME HOME
NOAH YOU COME HOME
Lucky not think Noah want come home
Shit.
???
Maybe I should see that phone.
No. This Lucky phone!
*goes to dig a hole and bury it somewhere*
I think those guys are supers.
Then what Ezra want with phone?
Ezra not hunt no more, right?
...good point.
Hmm...
Ezra lie about not hurt Lucky earlier
Ezra still think about hunt!
Lucky not come home!!!
I wasn't lying.
Anyway, that Alex guy is one of the people who had me thinking.
Just in case
Lucky bring home gun
Tell brother call cops if Lucky not seen for few days!
No, don't do that.
Fine
Not call brother
Still bring gun!
The gun part was the problem, not the brother part.
...fine.
Lucky still have claw
Leave big scratch
Hurt lots! Ezra beware!
You're not going to need to.
Okay, Lucky coming home now.
See Ezra soon
Good. :)
Be careful out there.
Lucky careful
Look both way before cross street
Not want what happen to Patches happen to Lucky.
Don't remind me of Patches. :(
It not Ezra fault
Patches
Few treats short of full bag
Or just a normal cat.
...yes... Normal cat not smart. Think it okay sleep anywhere but in bed. Psh.
Normal cats are pretty smart.
But Ezra just say normal cat not smart........
...well, for an animal, they're smart.
But for people, cats dumb
Unless they cat-people. :3
Ezra not mad Lucky pretend be cat?
Mad, no.
Highly mortified?
Oh yes.
Why?
Well. I've taken you in the bath.
You've seen me naked.
Singing.
Doing things I don't do in public.
:3 Lucky think Ezra cute when sing and dance in underpants
Ezra never think why only Lucky like take bath though?
I just thought you were that breed that likes water.
Ezra so innocent. :3
I
What are the odds?
Ezra
Lucky on bus going home
But Lucky want know
What Ezra plan do? Not hunt no more. Ezra keep be action man? Live like normal human?
I'll find something to do. I have other talents.
Hmm
Just not do sing or dance contest...
...I do that for fun.
Lucky just say
Ezra not know how hold tune...
You were judging me this whole time.
...yes
Lucky judge...
Also look at butt
While judge. :3
This isn't happening.
Mmm... already happen
Lucky see
Everything. :3
You could forget about all of it.
Why Lucky forget everything?
Lucky like what Lucky see ;3
You don't think anything can happen, do you?
...well
Ezra not THAT old.......
That's not the issue
What problem? Lucky still half human
Ezra only think Lucky cat? Not think about human part?
Maybe Ezra like better than with just human. :3 Lucky have lots to offer
You know everything about me
I know NOTHING about you
What there to know?
Lucky born in litter of 8
:3 Lucky let Ezra think he 'adopt' Lucky when Lucky little kitten...
Lucky favorite brother Jinxy
Favorite food fresh salmon
Like take nap
Hate dog
Hate Snowball
Okay with bathtime
...maybe Ezra just need see Lucky as human...
Okay, I already knew most of that.
But that's not humans work.
What else Ezra need?
I mean
You're a cat to me, Lucky.
It's weird.
Ezra not say that once Ezra see Lucky!
Lucky not only handsome cat!
...this is so bizarre.
Ezra okay? Need headpat
Or head doctor?
A doctor couldn't help.
Ezra want Lucky bring home favorite pie? Make feel better?
How do you even
Never mind
Yes
Wait. How are you paying for it?
Lucky give Ezra advice
Don't ask
If not know too much
Live happier life. :3
No pie.
No Lucky make up mind
Bring pie
I don't want it.
Then Lucky eat pie
Ezra watch Lucky eat favorite pie
Just drop the pie and get home!
No
Lucky
No!
No pie!
YES PIE
From Ezra favorite bakery!
Whole pie!
You better not be stealing it.
Lucky not say
Maybe buy
Maybe steal
Maybe kill
Killing is not allowed.
(BAITED)
Killing not allowed? :dizzy:
No.
Yes.
It's not allowed!
What about mouses?
Lucky can kill mouses?
Well mice are different.
What if they also human mouses?
Mices?
I don't do that anymore.
Lucky not talk about Ezra
Lucky talk about Lucky
Bet Ezra not know
Mices family live under porch
What?
Why are so many living around me?!
Well they here first
40th generation mices!
Ezra come later
I don't know why but this is so unsettling.
Ezra think that unsettling
What about family live here for 40 generations
Then suddenly
Hunter move in?
Probably felt like
a Nazi among Jews
But I wasn't looking at them.
I never suspected.
Lucky not think that matter to mices living under porch...
Look, I can't take back what I've done.
All I can do is be better moving forward.
Otherwise, I don't know what I'd do.
...Lucky thought we talking about pie...
Not sure how Lucky end up
Make Ezra feel bad...
I'm not...
just never mind that, okay.
Where are you now?
Pie
:3
INSIDE a pie?
Yes
It Lucky pie!
Oh jeez.
:3 It joke
Lucky make joke Ezra
I can't tell!
Ezra do funny sing, dance
But not have good humor sense
Can't tell when joke
When not joke
Not with a cat!
But Lucky also human...
It's still hard to see you that way.
Well, Ezra not see Lucky human so Ezra only know Lucky cat. :3 This normal!
True. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it...
Pie make Ezra feel better
Maybe later, Ezra make more friend like Lucky! Then not feel weird about it. :3
You aren't going to try and lace it with catnip are you?
...Ezra make joke?
We are not good at this.
No no Lucky laugh!
Ha ha, it funny joke! Catnip! Because Ezra not cat but Lucky cat. Haha...
:struggle:
I honestly can't tell if you're amused or being awkward right now...
half-half?
maybe 40-60?
Lucky just never hear Ezra make joke before...
I make jokes! Just not
with cats
usually.
Oh
Maybe Ezra tell Lucky joke?
Like what? Like a cat and a man walk into a bar?
Hahahahaha
That funny joke Ezra!
That
That wasn't a joke. Hah...
Oh
Why cat and man walk into bar then?
You really don't have to humor me...
But Lucky want know what happen to man and cat in bar.
Is man and cat Ezra and Lucky?
Ezra take Lucky to bar?
Are you even old enough
Never mind.
Lucky plenty old enough!
Lucky not kitten! Can go to bar!
You don't,
do you?
Sometimes...
A drunk cat... haha...
Lucky not go as cat silly!
I know that!
But what about when you shift back!
Lucky not shift back
It scare human Lucky go home with, silly Ezra
...
(pretty sure his cat gets more tail than he does)
Okay, these are things I never wanted to know.
Ezra ask........
When??
Just now...
I asked about the bar. Not other things.
Ezra know what go on in bar!
But I've always thought of you as an innocent cat
Not
Anything else.
Innocent?
Ezra not know about cat mating?
I know about it. It's just.
I thought I
fixed
all of you.
:3 Ezra fix other cat
But Lucky smartcat
Get other cat fix in Lucky place
Hehehheehehehe
Have you been making litters??
NO
Lucky not breed with just anycat!!
Good.
I'm trying to be a responsible pet owner here, you know.
...Ezra just try take credit for Lucky not having kittens?
I wasn't trying to...
Hehehe Ezra funny
No worry Ezra
Lucky responsible
Always take condom from Ezra beside bed table before go to bar. :3
That's where they've been going!
Yup
Lucky take
Cause Ezra not use anyway
(*shot*)
I do too! Just because it's been a few months doesn't mean I don't ever get out.
Months...
I've had other things on my mind!
Ah
Lucky hear that excuse before.
Too busy with work, no time for fun.
It's not an excuse. It's true. I know how to get a date.
Really? How Ezra get date?
Just run around park?
No. There are plenty of places to meet people. They have festivals and speed dating and all kinds of things.
Or
Ezra
Let Lucky...
:kissu:
That
doesn't seem wise.
Ezra not say that after see Lucky~
I don't think you know my type.
Not cats.
Ezra want see picture?
You have PICTURES?
You know what, go ahead. Just send it.
...Lucky know how take selfie. It first thing Lucky learn how do on phone!
—>Attachment<— (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/db/21/98/db219822064d6919f01c57aaa76e7b71.jpg)
Ah
You
Have a nice smile
:bounce:
And Ezra have nice butt :booty:
..... thanks.
That mean yes?
Ezra let Lucky :kissu:
I wouldn't go that far.
Ezra not want kiss? :(
From you?
:(
It better than from stranger...
I don't think you can possibly understand how strange it is.
Ezra just close eyes
Leave rest to Lucky~
Uh no, that's worse.
Ezra
Control freak???
No?
Wait, how is that controlling?
It just kiss!
But Ezra act like Lucky want mate with Ezra...
Kisses usually lead to
that
Lucky not see downside to that
Ezra not think Lucky good looking?
No that's not it
Ezra not want Lucky touch butt?
Uh no that's fine
Don't do that
???
It because
Lucky shifter?
Ezra only do matey thing with other human?
As far as I know... yes.
It not different...
It not like Lucky turn to cat half-way
:3
But you're
It's like we're related
Lucky not think Ezra related
:<
Ezra think Lucky like son???
Well yeah. A little
...even after see Lucky picture?!
Look you are very handsome but
I've taken care of you for how long?
This is strange!
Hehe
Ezra scoop poop
BUT
It also like live with mate
Except Ezra not know Lucky human
...
Do you feel like we're mates?
Ummm
No
More like
Big crush. :3 BIG big crush.
And
you've
seen my butt.
Ezra see Lucky butt too
Cats not wear clothes
Ezra did lots of things with Lucky
Sleep with Lucky
Bath with Lucky
Eat with Lucky
Cuddle with Lucky
Do silly sing dance with Lucky
It not different than live with mate
True in some ways
False in others...
Lucky know more about Ezra than anybody
And Lucky STILL like Ezra
That count for something
Right?
Yes.
It does.
:3
Once Ezra know more about Lucky
Maybe
Ezra like Lucky too
Lucky...
Lucky say MAYBE
Ezra not know
Ezra maybe change mind!
All right. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.
Okay
Lucky come home soon
Have pie
Be human, not cat
Ezra not shoot on sight
All right. Deal.
Lucky see Ezra soon~
:kissu:
Okay. Yes.