Hey
Is this Ian? Friend of mine says you might have something good.
Jamie? You know him?
Ian Yi
Indeed, this is Ian and I know Jamie.
Big mouthed lout.
What are you willing to give up for it?
Depends on how good the stuff is I guess
What're your prices?
I only give that information to people I meet. I don't even know you.
I don't know you either
Who really knows who these days?
I mean what do you want, to meet up? I'm not a cop
I just
Need something more than what's out on the streets
I'm a shallow man. I want to know what you look like.
Jamie didn't tell you that?
...he did
I thought he was fucking with me
..i mean... Okay? Whatever here's a pic.
attachment (https://i.pinimg.com/736x/88/6d/c1/886dc13d09d1ec105000699a51a797d5--eisfeld-drake.jpg)
Quite the model, aren't you?
For you, I'll say 20.
...thanks
I think
Hate to see how much you charge ugly people then.
How about a discount? I do more than just look good. ;)
Oho like what?
Depends
On what you look like. ;P
What a little demon.
attachment (http://www.raaseltine.com/rafiles/e90500ba15136adb92e08c3e8b94ac51-kim-jae-joong-jaejoong.jpg)
...
Is that really you?
No, I took a photo of a stranger and sent it to you.
Well why would you do that? That's silly
Are you not fluent in sarcasm?
You don't LOOK that innocent.
Hahaha
I'm just fucking with you man, relax
Drug dealers are getting hotter these days huh?
I've got my fingers in a few pies, you could say. Not just drugs.
Oh yeah? What kinds of
Pies?
Depends on how you're asking. Business or pleasure?
Do people eat pies for business? :P
Why not both?
The answer is different depending on which you choose.
You always this cryptic?
Pleasure then
I'm not much for business anyway. No money sense, you know?
I've been called a "troll" before.
(And was insulted until he realized what it meant.)
It also depends what you derive pleasure from. I have a pretty collection of boys at my disposal. No women however so...
Not looking like that you're not
And what do you mean? You want me to pay for a prostitute or help you find guys to whore out or...?
How's this gonna help me score drugs even?
*dumb*
It's always the pretty ones...
Well then doesn't that also include you?
So
Right back at you man
*so dumb*
Look, let's cut the crap.
$20 for drugs. I don't have $20.
What can I do to get them that doesn't involve me giving up a liver or a kidney?
You can spend the night with me.
That's all?
(Shut up, Val, don't blow it. You're coming out the winner in this deal!)
Sure, I'll do that.
Wait
You're not into some freaky shit are you? I don't do S&M or bondage or whatever
Oh that's too bad. I do.
...
Can't tell if trolling
Or serious...
I'm not.
...
I'll do it if you give me double
And don't hurt the face
Or the balls
/laughs
Y/N?
Sure.
Sucker.
Great.... I'm totally looking forward to it...
(Not)
So where do you want to meet up? And when?
Are you free tomorrow night?
Let me check my schedule.
I'm VERY busy, you know. There's hot demand for guys like me around the holidays.
(Not)
Yeah I can pencil you in for tomorrow night.
Cocky.
You know the club on third street? Meet me there.
...you wanna
Get freaky in an intimate setting like
A club?
No, that's just where we're meeting.
Why can't we meet where we're doing the thing? That's more convenient isn't it?
For you, maybe.
Yes exactly. ;3
I didn't get as far as I did by meeting with people alone.
If you don't want to meet at the club, you're meeting me with the harem.
The
WHAT
HAREM??
Yes.
Didn't I tell you I had a number of pretty boys at my disposal?
Yeah but
But nobody calls their
Nobody calls it a harem!!
Why not? It's so fitting.
I mean
It's kinda creepy
For a guy to keep a harem...
No offense
I might be a creepy guy.
Well you definitely are if you're into s&m and keep a harem.
But you have the good stuff apparently so
Be creepy all you want man
Like I needed your permission, kid.
Well not in GENERAL
But you kinda need my permission if you wanna be creepy with me! ;)
Isn't that what you're doing right now?
It is
I gave you permission 2 texts ago so
Yeah
But remember
Not the face
Or the you-know-whats
Right, right.
I'll make a note.
So how
Did you get into the scene?
Did I say that right? You guys call it a scene or something right?
Haha. Do we? I don't.
I'd say it's more like a
lifestyle.
A lifestyle of...
Whipping people and tying them up?
That's... not quite how it works.
What do you even get out of it?
Not trolling, I'm just curious. Never met anybody into this kinda thing before.
Usually it's more like
In and out, you know?
It wasn't originally what I wanted but you eventually learn to embrace it.
...somebody forced you into S&M?
That's
Um...
Not S&M per se.
Man, this guy is weird. It's always the good-looking ones that're out there. *sigh*
Do I want to know?
Or is this one of those things that you find out about and wish you'd never opened your trap?
Possibly. Depends how deep down the rabbit hole you're prepared to go.
Well sir
Dad always said I was a curious little son of a bitch and some day that'd get me killed so
Color me interested!
Not yet, cowboy.
I still need to meet you in person.
Cowboy? Lmao
You like playing the mystery card, don't you?
Get 'em interested, reel 'em in, is that your game?
Of course. Things wouldn't be nearly as fun otherwise.
But what about us poor dumb bass hooked on your line? ;(
What about you?
Ouch
So we don't matter all that much huh?
You'll toss us back in the ocean once you're done having your fun with us?
Or are you the type that gobbles up all the good parts and leaves just the bones?
The latter. :3
Well as a dumb bass, I can't say I appreciate that much
Must be kinda lonely though
Just you and all these temporary
fish
Occasionally, I feel lonely.
Most of the time I don't.
Surround yourself with lots of distractions huh?
You can say it that way but really, I'm satisfied with my life.
Oh yeah? Living the dream, are you? Drugs and a harem, I mean... you got it made. ;P
I agree. :nuzz:
Haha! Well if you're happy, that's all that matters I guess
Happy is so vague. I prefer satisfaction.
...
How is happy vague?
Happy can mean so many things to different people.
Well so can satisfied!
Or satisfaction, whatever
The point is
(loses his train of thought)
I forget...
Not all there, are you?
It's cold
My brain's frozen!
Are you outside?
Yeah
I was staying with a buddy but he kicked me out
So you're homeless and penniless. I assume jobless as well?
Bingo!
The tri
Trifac
The threesome of
...
Yeah
I was on my way to Portland but got stuck here
Can't go anywhere until the fog clears so...
The fog will be gone before you know it.
Then I'll be gone before YOU know it! Haha
Meanwhile I guess I can just hit up a shelter
And you didn't want to meet at a club.
You think I can even get INTO a club? lol
Bouncers don't exactly look kindly on homeless kids man
You didn't look homeless in your photo.
Not every homeless person looks like a bum
But the bouncers at that club know me. Might have gotten kicked out
A couple of times
Club choices in this town aren't exactly high.
Considering there's only like 2
yeah
But I don't usually go to clubs anyway
If I wanna have sex with a random stranger
I'm gonna find somebody who can pay me for it. ;P
Or trade you something you want?
Usually not
I mean it's not a good idea to sleep with your drug dealer
If stuff gets complicated... you lose a drug dealer!
But I deal more than drugs.
As established, yes, you're a drug dealer/pimp
sorry
HAREM
owner
Anyway
I wouldn't exactly consider it a chore to sleep with somebody who looks like you so
You see? Harem owner sounds so much nicer than pimp.
Maybe to you
But
It's still totally weird to anybody born after the 1500s my man
You don't know when I was born. ;)
I'm not guessing your age
That's a trap
Haha you'd never guess correctly.
You can't be that old though!
I guarantee I'm older than you.
Most everybody's older than me lol
I'm only 21
Legal though. Just fyi.
I do know 21 is legal here.
Just making sure
If you're trying to find out if I'm legal, I am.
Well I wasn't cause you don't exactly look 12 but
You gotta have these things in writing man!
Awfully careful for somebody in your position.
I mean
I'm dumb, not stupid
...yes there is a difference
and shut up
And here I thought they were the same thing.
:struggle:
Just so you know
You're totally making fun of a homeless kid right now
Just
So you know!
It's difficult to make me feel guilty. Just a... head's up.
Oh I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty
I was trying to make myself feel better!
Aw, poor thing. You'll feel better soon. :3
If you say so
S&M pimp harem master guy
:spin:
I'm not sure why you're so amused by all this.
I'll let you in on a little secret
I'm not amused
I'm nervous
I won't lie.
You should be.
NOT HELPING
Don't murder me
I'm literally penniless
My liver isn't worth shit cause I drink cheap liquor all the time
Also
I don't taste good. I'm too stringy.
(covering all the bases...?)
Hahaha...
That was such a sarcastic hahaha...
Am I fucked? Like seriously
Am I fucked?
You still have time to back out.
...
*seriously considers it*
nah
I'll be there. :)
He's just trolling. Gotta be!
Wouldn't want to disappoint. :P
How could you, with a face like yours?
Oh stop, you charmer you
You're way better looking than me anyway
...even if you do keep a harem
You could always be a part of it.
Moves fast, doesn't he?
You wouldn't even tell me the price of drugs earlier and now you want me to be your harem boy??
Any good perks that come with being one of the fish?
Of course. You could live forever.
Is that some kinda code word for getting really really high?
At first it is.
And then what happens?
The poor unsuspecting harem boy gets taken advantage of?
He falls for a new lifestyle.
*smiles despite himself* I don't like being taken advantage of anyway.
What if he doesn't?
What if he just wants to do his own thing, and not have to answer to anybody?
Then he becomes me. :3
But then you're gonna have competition if he becomes just like you. ;)
You think that hasn't happened before?
Let me guess
You came out on top every time?
I wouldn't be where I am now.
Wow sounds
Like a lot of work
Anything worth anything is work.
Or some quote like that.
Is it really though?
I mean
Aren't the best things in life free? Or something?
Work can be free.
How?
What do you mean how? Have you never worked at something without getting paid for it?
...not really.
I always make sure I get paid.
And yet you're still without a home...
I didn't say I get paid in money.
I also didn't say I worked
But I get paid one way or another when I do work.
The desperation of man...
*snort-laugh*
You mean laziness. ;P
Because you don't want a "real" job?
What's the point anyway? I can find a dead-end job to work my whole life but it just
There doesn't seem to be a point in it. Wouldn't make me happy.
Oh I don't disagree.
That's why "real" was in quotes.
Oh
Right
So yeah
You might be the first guy to not judge me for it. lol I dunno. People are so hung up on having a "normal" life but what's normal anyway right?
Normal shifts with the current social climate anyway.
Too bad the current social climate is warmer toward people with jobs and a car
But to think, it was once warmer to useless nobles with no talents or jobs whatsoever!
They were rich though
Rich people get to be idle and useless lol
That's true. I can't argue against that.
So basically nothing changed from like 600 years ago and now.
And I can't believe I'm having this convo with my drug dealer..........
Who else would you be having it with?
I don't
Nobody? I'm not the deep thinking type
i can tell.
Hey!
RUDE
:3
:hmph:
Are you waiting for an apology?
Something tells me you're not the apologetic type so
No. Just expressing my offended...ness. ;P
You don't sound that offended.
You're a hard one to scare off, you know that?
Is that what you were trying to do? Scare me off?
Or do you mean in general? :3
I meant in general. I don't want to scare you off. ;)
Ah well you definitely didn't. ;D
Although I guess I don't scare easy normally either.
I stopped believing in bogeymen a long time ago
That's almost amusing.
Why almost?
Oh, no reason...
Well that's 600% a lie
You're the one who reached out to me. Which of us is shadier?
I'm just an innocent kid looking for drugs
Harem owner drug peddler man :booty:
You're definitely not innocent.
But I don't have a harem
(moral high road!)
And...?
I'm
*struggles*
More innocent than you!
Yes you are.
Yeah, that's right
So
You know
I win
And stuff
Go to sleep, you little stoner.
Hehehe
No, you're not my dad, you can't tell me when to sleep!
Besides I'm headed downtown right now
Now you're fine with the club?
I'm not going to the club! LOL
I'm meeting somebody
Ah, another dealer, I assume?
Yessir
I should totally ask if he has a harem. :booty:
Probably not.
Not many people here do.
Oh yeah man
Harem owning is totally niche
You might even say
Hipster
Are you calling me hipster?
If the long scarf fits... :balloon:
Portland is for the hipsters.
But Portland's mainstream now.
Hipsters have their harems in tiny quaint mountain towns like Hazleton.
/laughs
Brrr downtown's so cold! Passing by the club rn btw
Not going in cause the bouncer just gave me a deathglare
If you were one of mine, you'd never experience cold again.
Aw man, don't give me the line about you keeping me warm.
You're better than that Ian!
Yes, that's what I meant.
Okay apparently you're not better than that. :P
I'll be okay, thanks. I'll jog. Jog and laugh.
At you.
And your terrible line.
I thought "dad jokes" were the in thing now.
That was so not a dad joke
A dad joke is like
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
That's a dad joke!
Yours was a bad pick-up line, like the kind I get from drunk guys
I don't need lame pick up lines, you idiot.
Omg
Are you actually mad right now?
Hehehehehe
I think you misunderstood me.
Did I now? How so?
You won't know until we meet. ;)
But that's not until tomorrow!
C'mon give me a hint!
Haha.
:( pleeeeease?
🧛♂️
You're a...
Creep in a cape?
...
What?
Just thinking that if you weren't pretty...
...
Well you
What does that even have to do with my looks?! I can't read your mind, I don't know what a dumb vampire smilie means!
What are you, a vampire? You vanna suck my blaaad or something??
Of course.
You're a vampire.
*so not buying it*
Yes.
Really
How did you become a vampire? Are you like 800 years old?
Exchanging blood. And good guess. You're just shy by a couple of years.
Oh yeah? That's really a thing huh? Did it hurt?
Also if you're older than 600 you might be a liiiittle too old for me.
I'm ageist like that, I only go for +/- 100
Not really, no.
Also wouldn't that make you at least 500 yourself?
Did it feel goooood? The movies always make it seem like it's super pleasurable but I mean. Some dude biting you in the neck? Ow.
And no, the range is -89 to 121.
(Super shitty math skills there)
It's different with a vampire. Their teeth are different.
-89?
Magic teeth like needles?
I just creeped myself out.
And yeah. 100-21?
There's a chemical process involved as well. Plus charm...
Your numbers are highly unreliable.
You are SO committed to this...
Also... no. 100-21 is...
(Long moment passes)
Shut up
I read a lot of books, silly child.
Calling somebody you wanna nail a 'child' really isn't sexy
JS
The "nailing" part was your suggestion, not mine.
You agreed!
If you'd rather call it off and find a new dealer...
You know, that was a nice attempt at reverse psychology
But I know you totally want me. :booty:
I am never that desperate.
Hey now, desperate is an ugly word
And you are not ugly
I just think
That you want this~
You forget I have other little pretties too.
Yeah yeah your HAREM
I may not be one of your 'pretties' but I'm still a new face
Not one you see every day, day in and day out
PLUS
You wanted me in your harem so you must've seen something you liked
I SEE a lot I like but...
the more I get to know people, the less I like them.
This is exactly why I didn't bother with my silly protege's little brat.
Can't stand the guy? Is he that obnoxious?
And I'm only around one time so no chance of you getting to know me all that well
I'm like
These pumpkin spice lattes
I'm seasonal~ ;)
Well, THAT certainly perks up the interest meter. ;)
And yes. I did refer to him as a brat. Pretty but. Brat.
Yeah, there you go.
I'm your little druggie spice latte, you gotta get me while the getting's good, or else you gotta wait a whole year before I come around again.
Is he like the clingy type? Is that why you don't like him?
If you make it around these parts again.
The protege is, which I thought was kind of cute... at first. His butt buddy is more that irritating type who sticks his nose where it doesn't belong.
I might
If you're sticking around here. ;)
Oh man, so the brat's the nosy type? Yikes. Clingy's worse though. :\ I can't stand clingy people.
I'll be here for a little while longer.
It's fun for a while, the clinginess but I tire of it easily.
Then we have something in common.
And neither of us will end up being annoying! Perfect!
Yes, well, I don't expect this little "thing" between us will last long.
Haha! Just one time okay?
Yes, one time.
Don't fall for me now. ;)
You're really in no danger of that.
:( Ouch. Hear that?
That's the sound of my ego getting a bruising.
Aw, well I did tell you what I'm into.
Hey! My ego's not to be used and abused for your perverse pleasure!
How fragile is it?
I mean
When I'm high... it's pretty unbreakable
Sober...
I'm a sensitive boy, you understand. :3
(He's not.)
Poor baby. I'm not much of a coddler though.
Just anywhere
But
The balls
Do people want you to coddle and wuv them a lot? Trying to squeeze blood out of a stone?
Some sad little souls do, yes.
Awwww
That's so lame though. They're obviously just looking for the storybook ending where you ride off into the sunset with them, on a white horse.
Me
I'd settle for a quick fuck and a gram of crack.
I'm what the French call
Low-maintenance. ;D
Good because I'm not in the mood for the opposite.
Uhh
Well yeah
Cause you're the high maintenance one, my man. Can't have two high maintenance guys together, that'll never work
I thought this was a one time deal.
What does that have to do with this?
You're talking about high maintenance + high maintenance not working... Why wouldn't it for a night?
I meant in general! Not you and me! If it's just for one night who cares?
I'm saying
For crazy people who want relationships, high maintenance types shouldn't get together
What do you know about relationships?
I know enough to not get into one
Good call. ;)
I told you, I'm dumb, not stupid. ;)
You ever been in a relationship? Like a serious one?
Yes, but it's been quite a while.
What happened?
I fell out of love.
At least you weren't dumped. :P
I do the dumping, thank you.
That's my Ian!
Or the Ian I think you are based on this one convo I've had with you. Haha!
Yes, you know me so well...
I know all I need to know. ;)
That I have the "good stuff"?
At first, yeah
And now?
That you have the good stuff and that you're
Pretty cool
Haha. So sweet of you.
You probably hear it a lot :P
What, that I'm "pretty cool"?
Yeah
Maybe not in those extremely flattering terms but I bet people hit on you all the time
That's true.
So spoiled with all that attention!
Most of the time, it's bothersome, actually.
Whaaaat? Figured you would go in for all that attention and praise
It's the same thing after so long.
Beats being insulted though...
I'd love to see somebody try.
Haha! Cute
Hey before I go
What's the safe word?
You want a safe word?
...
You bet your ass I do!
Fine.
Mustard.
Mustard??
There's a jar of mustard near me.
Why are you eating mustard if you're a vampire?
I'm not.
Harem, remember?
Is it at least fancy mustard? Like that
Dijon stuff?
I don't know the difference.
Well then the safe word is cocaine
You won't say that at any point for any other reason?
I might
You'll just have to guess
It'll be like a fun game!
You're the one who needs the safe word...
I do
But it doesn't have to be boring
How is mustard boring?
I don't like mustard...
Fine, whatever, cocaine.
Hehehe
Perfect
See you tomorrow, gotta go score some
Happy pills
Don't take too many or you won't be able to get it up.
Ian, I'm 21
That is not going to be an issue
So you say...
Well
Tomorrow i can prove it to you
In person. ;) In all my 21 year old glory.
I'm looking forward to it.
Me too.
I think I see my dealer so
Bye~