We Are Bulletproof

"Score what exactly?" Susumu asked sourly. The girl that his friend had been dancing with looked like a two dollar hooker--excuse the language. But it was pretty obvious that she hooked for money and Susumu was pretty sure that Liam could do better than that... he was just too lazy to try some nights.

Like when he was on drugs, for example. That was when everything went down the drain--all of his self respect, all of his dignity, and... what did he expect, really? Liam was a dealer and he was pretty heavy in the business. It was only a matter of time before he started dipping his fingers in the merchandise himself.

Susumu disliked it--he'd prefer murdering somebody than watching them get all cracked out and OD.

"Not the way you're partying."

Susumu reached out and turned Liam's arm over. Clear as day--track marks.

"Liam!" He swore in Japanese under his breath.

Okay.

Well.


This was rather... unexpected.

How did he not see this coming? After knowing Liam so long, this behavior still came as a shock to him. Susu was a calm person, he wasn't given to the kind of outbursts that Liam was prone to.

Still, he was halfway down the hall when he turned to see that Liam was screaming and shouting and running down the hall just to get at him. While Susu blinked and watched in some surprise, a couple of orderlies intercepted Liam, grasping him by the arms to try and bodily move him back into his room.

Maybe he should have done it. Maybe he should have killed Liam and put him out of his misery. But he was also selfish and he didn't want to see Liam die. He wanted Liam to find a way out of the darkness... or at least in the same part of the shadows that Susu lurked within. It would take time but... he hoped that Liam would be glad of this someday.

At the moment, however, he was spitting mad. Slowly, Susu took a step back and another one, his heart trembling at the hurt and rage in Liam's voice. Was that all they ever did to one another? Lash out and hurt one another? Whether with words or spells, it seemed like they were always hurling something at one another.

"I don't," he said softly. He didn't hate Liam. But he didn't bother trying to argue with him when he was like this. He'd learned from years of being beside him that it would just make things worse... and force Liam into saying terrible things he would regret later.

He lowered his head and then touched the knob behind him.

"Goodnight, Liam," was all he said before he left him in the hospital room by himself.

Susu did not live in the perpetual madness or sadness that his partner did. He was a more straightforward thinker and less of an emotional person. That wasn't to say that he had no emotions or even that he was cold but he wasn't as susceptible to emotional or mental breakdowns as Liam was. He was strong; it took a lot to take him down. Even now, he probably seemed too controlled before the sight of his ex-boyfriend lying in a crumpled heap in a hospital bed.

The truth was, it affected him but he also had enough. He wanted Liam to be able to stand on his own and stop using others as crutches or reaching for the drugs, even though he knew that was hard for him. But he didn't really know. He could never know, that was the problem. For Susu, it was easy to say stop because he didn't feel the way Liam did everyday.

Still, he didn't want Liam to die. He didn't want him to give up his fight.

"No," he said, as if it were up to him. "You can't just quit."

He drew closer to Liam, slipping his hand over Liam's throat. It would be easy for him to just end Liam's suffering himself. He knew the spells, spells that could end it all.

"I won't let you. If you try to kill yourself, it will backfire," he said softly. Wisps of black magic gathered around Liam's throat. For a brief moment, it appeared as a tattoo around his throat, like curling black ink intricately linked around his throat.

"Every time you try, somebody else will die." It was a curse. It was drastic but he had to do it. Susu was also selfish. Slowly, he withdrew his hand and the markings seemed to seep into Liam's flesh, vanishing from sight.

What did he think? He thought the worst. He hoped it wasn't what it looked like. He hoped that Liam wasn't so out of his mind that he believed death was the only way out. He hoped but he didn't think it was like that. By now, he thought Liam was shrouded in his own darkness and that sometimes it blinded him from what was right in front of him.

He didn't answer it. He only turned his gaze briefly away because he was pretty sure that Liam knew what he thought. Was it true, though? Would Liam really go that far? Susu licked his dry lips and looked back over at Liam, looking sad and far away in his hospital bed. Susu could see a shoulder peeking out from the flimsy gown.

"I was worried."

There was no point in lying about it. Despite everything, despite ending the relationship, he still cared whether Liam lived or died. Sometimes, he really wished that he didn't. It caused so much heartache and so many questions. What would happen next? Would he be called in to a corpse the next time?

Susu touched the edge of the bed.

"You have to stop."

No, this wasn't how he wanted it to be. He wanted Liam to sober up, to be a true partner again. Somewhere along the way, he felt like he lost the Liam he knew. Now he was buried beneath all the scars and pain, using alcohol and drugs to cover it up, to try and appear strong and capable when he wasn't.

Susu wasn't buying it. He knew that Liam was suffering but if something drastic didn't happen, he didn't think Liam would ever change. All Susu did was enable him by staying with him despite asking him, telling him not to do the shit he kept pulling.

Now here they were.

Slowly, he crossed his arms and watched Liam look away from him as he told him what happened. Bar. Bathroom. OD. It was about what Susu expected. He swallowed past a big lump in his throat, unhappy with the way things were going.

"They want to watch you," he said. Suicide watch. Psychiatric help, they said. There was no actual release date yet. They had to assess Liam first, to make sure he wasn't a danger to himself.

Susu didn't use the word, though. Suicide.

But he did ask, "On purpose?" Did he OD in that bathroom on purpose?

"Why?" He stood at the doorway, feeling strangely distant in his stifling coat while Liam lay there in the bed in his ugly blue hospital "gown." Susu never understood why they called them that when they were little more than half a shirt, affording the barest minimum of protection.

"I wouldn't even know about this if they hadn't called me."

Because after it was all over, that was it. The communication between them was cut, severed clean. It was strange how easy it could be and how hard it was at the same time.

When he moved closer to the bedside, his gaze moved over Liam.

"What did you do?"

Things were strange without Liam but admittedly, more peaceful. Quiet. There were no more arguments. There were no more disagreements and there was no more chasing Liam from one bar to the next, from one rave to the next. Susu had no interest in any of that. All he wanted was his life back.

He had it.

Still, when the phone rang and he saw that it was from the hospital, he couldn't help lifting a brow. He answered in confidence even without knowing what was going on. And then his heart sank and his head swirled with questions.

After a brief exchange, he hung up, then got up and grabbed his coat and headed out.

He entered the sterile hospital room with a disapproving expression. Even while he was worried, he couldn't help covering it beneath irritation.

"Liam," he said in a neutral voice.

The music thumped so hard that Susu's heart beat in time with it. It felt like the music itself was a part of his body, running through his veins like an electric heartbeat. He breathed in the scent of deodorant and sweat as the people around him raised their arms and twisted their hips. A woman threw her head back and sang along at the top of her lungs.

Susu forced a little half smile as he squeezed past her. Her elbow grazed his side but she didn't seem to notice. Susu narrowed his eyes and scanned the area.

Where the hell are you?

He tried calling several times but the bastard wasn't picking up. Typical Liam. He just took off and did whatever the fuck he wanted half the time. Then a sound--a familiar shouting something vulgar to a nearby woman. Susu twisted on his heel and turned to see Liam harassing some female.

Swiftly, Susu made his way through throngs of people to grasp onto Liam's arm and pull him closer to him and away from the woman.

"What are you doing?" Susu hissed into his ear.

Liam, will you please stop?

How cute.

Susumu's latest target was hanging around the sheriff's station, like he thought that was going to keep him alive. Weren't hunters supposed to be so badass that they didn't need to be afraid of those that went bump in the night? Was he really afraid of a little witch like Susumu?

His lips curved upward slightly. It didn't matter, though. The hunter could hide from a physical being but he couldn't hide from a spell.

Susumu, who sat beneath an umbrella in the summer heat, the tiny cafe across the sheriff's station the perfect waiting position. All he needed was a line of sight and a bit of hair. He already got the hair from an altercation between one of Susu's "friends" and he now looked at the tuft of hair between his fingers.

He let it drop into the thermos in front of him.

The stink of the dark magic briefly made him wrinkle his nose. Then it was gone, as quick as it had come. There he is. Susumu began to whisper the words of the spell as he stared at the man. But before the spell could properly wrap about its target, somebody hit Susumu in the arm, causing him to spill the contents of the thermos all over the table.

Susumu immediately got to his feet and turned toward the idiot who ruined his spell.