We Are Bulletproof

"I am not," Edel said stiffly, disliking what it implied for him to be stalling. He just... He didn't think it felt right to break up with a long term boyfriend that he lived with over the phone. It was... It left a bad taste in the back of his throat. And... selfish though it may be, some part of him hoped that they could remain friends.

As if that would ever happen. People broke up all the time, and often said they would stay friends... But there was bad blood, and there would be a lot of it when Rey realized why he was breaking things off.

That was, if Edel was even going to do it. Furrowing his brow, he moved away from Cris, even as Cris was perching on the edge of the bed. Edel couldn't help it; something inside of him recoiled at the way Cris looked at the ground and said that. Those words. It was like a slap in the face. Without even realizing he was doing it, Edel crossed his arms protectively over his chest and turned away. His heart beat in a nasty, sickening staccato and his head spun.

Then what are we doing here?

He didn't say it aloud. Just shook his head, moving away from Cris, as if placing as much distance as possible between them would create a more protective buffer than his arms alone could offer.

"That says it all, then, doesn't it?"

Sighing, he didn't wait for a response. He got up, slipping his phone into his pocket. "I... I have to... I don't know. Take a walk. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

With that, Edel left, still feeling as if nothing had been resolved, heart heavy.

"Hm yeah, maybe..." he said dubiously, watching Cris prove that he wasn't that drunk. It seemed like he had sobered up some, since he didn't stumble. Still. That panic in Cris' tone and in his eyes when he said the words break up hadn't failed to catch Edel's attention. Maybe this wasn't as important to Cris as it felt to Edel.

Lowering his gaze, he cleared his throat and ran his hand over his thighs.

"You don't break up with people over the phone. I'll do it when I see him. But what about you?" He looked up, scrutinizing Cris. "You're not saying anything about breaking up with Jen."

"What do you mean, what's the problem? Really, Cris? We're both dating other people! If we want to be together, we have to break up with Rey and Jen!"

How was that not obvious? Suspiciously, he looked Cris over.

"How drunk are you right now?"

Or did it just not occur to him? Maybe he just didn't care. Edel, though, didn't like being a filthy cheater. He felt dirty even now; that was why he kept hesitating. That was why he kept saying they had a problem. Because they did! He couldn't commit himself to somebody, knowing that Rey was out there, trying to call him over and over again... probably worried. And angry.

Rightfully so, for once...

"...yeah," he admitted. "Probably."

Rey would rip his head off. Especially when he realized that Edel had turned off his phone to avoid him. Sooner or later, he was going to have to face up to him. God, he loved him... He thought he did. Or he did, just... not the same way that he loved Cris.

The realization sank in as he stared at Cris, remembering not only the kiss they'd just shared but the craziness that was... whatever they did on that gaudy pool float. Although he knew damn well he should regret everything he did with Cris, he couldn't.

And all those times... all those times when they were drunk. Every excuse... to be near him. Closer to him than a friend. Even now, his heart beat too fast, a little out of guilt for dodging his boyfriend but mostly because they were alone now. Cris. Him.

"We have a real problem here, Cris..."

"...I don't want to."

He was torn between doing it just to rip the bandaid off and ignoring the calls. Rey would just keep calling but Edel could turn off his phone. He could turn it off. Whatever Rey had to say, it wasn't going to be anything Edel wanted to hear right now. Lately, they were just... they were always fighting. Where things had been easy at points, they weren't so easy anymore. They fought about what to do with Rey's sister and they fought about Cris. They fought about Cris the most; Rey insisted--insisted--that there was something more to how Edel felt about him.

"You always drop everything for him, Edel! Everything!"

And he said that wasn't true--but it was. It was very true. Because he had very literally crossed an entire ocean... for Cris. Not for Rey. And he wasn't sure he could say that he would or could do that for Rey. He deserves better.

Edel looked back down at the frantically buzzing phone and he finally held his thumb down on the power button to turn it off. Then he casually flung it onto the chair by the fireplace.

"...it can wait."

Together. He just had to use that word. Together. Edel's gaze softened.

"Yeah."

Together. They had been together for a long time. It felt like most of his life. Hadn't it been more than half his life now? Doing dumb shit together since... forever. Watching each other go through the ups and downs that came with life. Every big change was experienced by the both of them. Even this one. With Cris left behind by his father, hiding away in the only place he could stay with all of his father's assets being wrenched out from under him.

"Um, so... listen," he started, just as his phone started buzzing. Letting out a sigh, he tried to ignore it but it kept going... and just when he thought it had stopped, it started again. Setting his jaw, he stepped away from Cris and pulled the phone from his pocket to find Rey's smiling face staring back at him.

He probably wasn't smiling right now. But when Edel had taken this photo things had been different.

"...it's Rey," he said, looking up at Cris with a pained expression.

Shaking his head to himself, Edel listened to Cris in the bathroom. He could just imagine what kind of mess he was making in there. He ought to have taken a shower, rather than just splashing around in the sink. Slowly, Edel made his way to the bed and gingerly took a seat on the edge. His hands slid down between his knees. He felt like a teenager again. Weirdly shy. Anticipating... something. Taking in a breath, he caught his lower lip with his teeth.

Was... this... okay? All of this? No. Deep down, he knew it wasn't. Yet at the same time, something kept screaming that he knew Cris long before he knew Rey. Rey is your boyfriend. They were talking marriage. Kids. They lived together. They were family already. Rey's little sister lived with them. They took care of her. Together. Together. They were together.

His fingers clenched inward, half moon crests digging into his palms.

Edel looked up as Cris came back, a little less wobbly. Maybe a little more sober. Swallowing hard, Edel got to his feet. One step, two steps, three. Before he knew it, he was flush against him, his hand grasping the front of Cris' coat as his lips crashed against his. Willful, fervent. With a little bite. His heart hammered in his chest.

"You're..." He licked his lips. He could still taste alcohol. "We're--" he corrected. "--idiots."

At first, it sounded a lot like Cris wasn't pleased. And then it changed when they were shown to their room. Really, it was quite a cute little room... cozy and homey and designed artfully without making Edel want to choke on mothballs. No doilies or weird old lady things. Just a nice room. A nice room with a single bed. Edel sighed.

"No, she doesn't," he said, passing a hand over his face. That woman was not thinking that! And even if she was... Ugh.

Not the the idea in and of itself was a bad one or a disgusting one. More the idea of somebody else thinking about it. Thought the person who had basically fucked around in the middle of a lake with two people right there to watch the entire thing. ...fuck.

"I wish you'd stayed sober..." Edel muttered to himself.

"Inside," he said. "They're in the B&B, okay?"

Although he supposed inside was a good way to describe where his words currently were. Inside his heart, inside his mouth, but not yet outside. And once they were, how could he ever take them back? So he had to be sure. And he was. But he still... He didn't know. He thought it said everything that he dropped his whole life just to chase Cris here, that he would have buried a body if Cris needed him to, that he would accompany him out of the country if it really came down to it.

And if all that didn't say it...

"Yeah..." He felt a modicum of relief at the sight of it. Like most of the B&Bs in the area, it was quaint and cute and maybe on the small side. But it was good enough. Edel took in a deep breath. They could leave the weirdness of the sinkhole behind and focus on... relationship weirdness.

"Come on," he said, tilting his head just so, brushing his cheek affectionately against Cris before he tugged on his hand and pulled him toward the door. There was a sign that said to ring the bell for service and he did. Not long after, a middle aged woman came to the door. She looked them over with a brief sense of hesitation before smiling and greeting them.

"We're here to stay overnight," Edel said in English, smiling back. He reached for his wallet. As long as he had money, they were fine. Edel might not be rolling in it but it couldn't be that much out here in the boonies. And it wasn't. The woman asked for just 85 for the night, and with a price like that, Edel expected the interior to be all rotted wood and mildew but it was really nice.

There was a brick fireplace and the smell of clean linen and pretty, gauzy curtains. The woman said there were booklets about tourism and food in the area in the drawer next to the bed and then she left them alone.

Closing the door behind them, Edel finally let out the sigh he'd been suppressing.

"Oh, did I?"

Something important to say? Like Edel didn't know what Cris was talking about. It was Edel himself that said he wasn't comfortable saying it over the phone. Even if it was incriminating enough to text it, saying those kinds of things when they weren't face to face just felt... wrong. More wrong, he supposed, then cheating on his own boyfriend.

Inwardly, he sighed at the reminder. Sliding his gaze aside, he could feel the guilt eating at his chest. Edel never thought he'd end up like this, the type of person who apparently wasn't as happy with his partner as he thought. He never thought about cheating on Rey before; this was new. Or it wasn't...

It was complicated, all right? He was in love with his best friend and his best friend knew it and--and so did Rey. He knew all this time and that was where his insecurity came from. Edel acted stupid or something. How did he not see it? Another inward sigh. Fuck.

"I know," Edel said softly, even though he felt a strange little melancholic clutch in his heart when he said it. And he wanted to say it back. He really did. Except Cris was veering off and teetering away from him so Edel had to pull him back.

"Where are you going now?"

"Ehh...." He looked away in embarrassment. Did he remember making out at Jaime's party? Yes, but he hadn't acknowledged it before and he sort of didn't want to now, either. In the back of his mind, he kept having to remind himself that there was still a boyfriend in his life. And he... loved Rey, he thought. But maybe just... maybe not the same way as he loved Cris. How could Rey even compete with somebody that had been in Edel's life for so much longer?

No wonder Rey was so insecure.

Sighing, Edel continued to edge Cris down the street, although his heartbeat kicked up a notch at the sound of the ambulance siren. Somebody really did get hurt badly back there. He wondered how many had fallen into the sinkhole. Again, he thought of the weird, frantic guy talking about smokey monsters. Biting his lower lip, he held Edel a little tighter--only to have Cris suddenly, push away, occupied with some guy allegedly checking them out.

"Huh?" Edel asked, turning to see the guy that Cris was waving at in the nearby trees. "What? No! We don't know him. Stop waving at him."

Personally, Edel wasn't big on seeing the neighbors, either, after what they did in front of them. Just thinking about it brought a flush of embarrassment to his face but he did his best to calmly talk himself out of it. If they were going to judge them, like Cris said, they would... they would... actually, Edel couldn't think of any reason why they wouldn't judge them after that spectacle.

Yeah... even if there was no sinkhole and weird stories of smoke monsters, Edel thought he might have chosen to stay here in town. Was it safer, though? The sinkhole was here. And whatever that guy was talking about, too.

Edel sighed. Why was he even giving that any merit, anyway? Pft... as if something like that existed. But as he took another step, he felt something cold in the wind. It was the middle of summer but it felt as if the temperature was dropping at an alarming rate.

"Yeah," he said to Cris with a worried expression. He had intended to make some snarky remark about Christmas being off by quite a few months but now?  Now he muttered mostly to himself: "Seems like Christmas is coming earlier this year..."

He tried not to shiver.

"What?" Edel looked over Cris and his indignation. "I'm not mad."

Did he seem mad? Maybe. Mostly he was just agitated by what was happening at the intersection. Some part of him was afraid that the sinkhole would keep opening up. Those things were the stuff of nightmares to him. When did they end? How did they collapse in like that? Were there explosives involved? Maybe that's what the guy back there saw when said he saw some smoke like visage.

The fright in the guy's voice, though. It sounded so real.

"I do," he said, a little distractedly, because he did want to get a room with Cris but he was also still thinking about the disaster they were leaving behind. Then he made the mistake of looking back at Cris again, focusing in on him and that grin. He let out a sigh.

"Not for that!" he added. "I just think... getting back to the lake house might be hard right now, is all."

"Okay..."

What an odd thing to say. Drunk enough to be interesting? Like what, he wasn't normally interesting enough without a couple drinks in him? Edel sighed. He could see the way Cris was looking at him--or around him, more like. He was drunk, not tipsy. Asshole! He drank more than he let on. How did Edel not catch it? How did he even text so well when he was stumbling and slurring?

"I can see that," he said. That the alcohol was all gone, although he had his suspicions about which of the passengers aboard drank the most. He sent a glare at the driver, fully blaming him for letting his passengers get drunk on his watch. As if he didn't know! For shame!

The sirens were getting louder and there were more people surging forward to get a better look at the odd sinkhole. Even now, Edel felt his hands go sweaty at the image of it. The fact that the ground could swallow up people and cars like that so suddenly...

"Let's get out of here," Edel reiterated in an urgent tone. "I don't think we want to be here anymore. I'll call..." He trailed off. "Actually, you know what? Maybe we can just stay in a hotel or B&B here tonight, huh? That'd be nice, right?"

"Oh my god," Edel said as he caught Cris. "How drunk are you?"

Did he even need to ask? He could still smell it on him--the scent of alcohol and a whiff of something else. Why was Cris' side so cold and slightly damp? Weird. Attempting to right his friend so that he could stand more steadily on his own two feet, he couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief.

It wasn't as if he expected that Cris would vanish into a sinkhole or anything. And he didn't believe in monsters, even if he read a lot of stories about them in his line of work. Monsters were a huge selling point now, in every kind of story--romance, fantasy, etc. They weren't just for horror anymore.

Still, the distressed looking man bothered him and he was beyond happy to find Cris as he had last seen him. Even if he was a little drunk, he was all in one piece and nobody had absconded with him while he wasn't looking.

Keeping an arm around Cris, he smiled at him. "C'mon dummy. Let's get back to the lake house." He tried not to look back in the direction of the sinkhole, not wanting to alarm Cris. Even just the sinkhole part was creepy enough.

"By the way... what happened to whatever you went to the shop for? I thought you were going to bribe the neighbors or whatever."