We Are Bulletproof

Hey, is everything okay?
You've been gone for a while

@Judah Hyunh

"Goddamnit."

Aaron wrestled with the handle of the back door leading out of his apartment. He didn't want to go out the front door because he was afraid that Judah might see him from the window that faced the front of the building. Or, worse, that if he looked back and looked up, which he would have, that he'd see Judah at the window peering out at him. Aaron didn't know what would happen if he saw him. He might run back inside. He might never run back inside.

"Piece of shit door," he muttered desperately to himself. After a few more hard pushes it gave away and flung open violently, letting in a gust of howling wind. The rain blew in sideways into his face—still flushed and hot from what had happened earlier. It was kind of good that it did, though. It cooled him down. He stepped outside and hunched his body against the wind, seeking shelter against the wall of the building.

Aaron wasn't going far—he wasn't an idiot. In this weather he'd get soaked in a matter of seconds and end up with pneumonia or something. Getting sick was not an option right now. He had to devote everything he had in him to finding Danny.

So he stood there stupidly hugging himself and letting the wind whip into his face, head thunking back against the rough wall behind him. His heart still hammered in his chest, though. He still heard Judah's voice saying his name. He still felt him, still wanted him. Aaron never stopped wanting him, that was the problem. That was what led to the scene inside and what made Aaron run out to put some physical distance between them.

He planned on staying out for a bit, though. Maybe he ought to get in his car. It was a beat up old jalopy but it still offered some shelter from the rain. He got himself off the wall and wiped the rain from his eyes, turned and saw someone lurch suddenly into sight around the corner. At first Aaron thought they were fighting the wind but then they fell forward and with a soft curse under his breath, he ran over to see what was going on. Maybe drunk, maybe high, or it may be someone in need of help.

"Ahh... shit..."

Aaron let his phone drop onto the couch beside him with a long sigh and ran a hand over his face. He covered his eyes for a moment with his palm and stared into the darkness behind his closed lids. Shit. That conversation with Judah didn't exactly go the way he'd planned. Actually... he had no plan going into it, since Judah hit him up first, but the latter half of their exchange seemed to go rapidly downhill.

Or... uphill?

He didn't know if he should be happy or not. When Judah left, a lot of lingering feelings remained. It wasn't like they'd parted on bitter terms. Judah had a lucrative job offer that was too good to pass up some years ago and Aaron was needed back home in Hazleton. How long ago was that anyway? Two, getting close to three years? A long time, actually. They kept in touch but Aaron always felt a little uncomfortable having to sit on his feelings around Judah. He was a plain man, not a nuanced or subtle one. His thoughts, his heart, both were kept on his sleeve.

Well. Whatever. He couldn't take back what he said. Part of him was relieved just to get the words out, and part of him hated that he was potentially getting between Judah and his new... partner. Aaron wasn't the petty type or he would've felt good about what Judah confessed; as it was, all he felt was maybe a little bit guilty towards the other guy. It wasn't like he was asking to get back together, either. Aaron had so much on his plate with Danny's disappearance—and the disappearance of those other kids—that it was all he could focus on.

After a moment he got up, shuffled into the bathroom and ran the taps until warm water gushed out. Aaron washed his face and then stared at his dripping reflection for a long moment. His heart ached. It was hard to carry the torch for somebody so far away, for so long, and until today—until his confession earlier—he never realized how taxing that really was.

"Shit, Aaron," he muttered to his own reflection, before wiping the water off with a towel and re-entering his living room. His eyes caught immediately on the large cork board set up against one wall, where pictures of the missing kids and case notes were pinned in profusion. Aaron wandered over to it and ran his gaze along the various papers, newspaper clippings, photographs and hand-written notes. He'd perused these more than a hundred times over by now, but a lot of things still weren't connecting.

Maybe Judah could connect the dots, add a fresh set of eyes and some new perspective...

Time passed without his knowing it, as Aaron mused over more case files. When his phone rang again, he absently picked it up and then gave a start. Judah. Was he here already? Aaron glanced outside, where the sun was beginning to set. Wasn't it just morning? Flinging down the manila folder that he had in his other hand, Aaron hastened outside to let Judah into the building—the lobby door was locked so that only those who lived in the building could get inside. His heart pounded and his palms felt suspiciously, nervously sweaty. Jesus. What the hell was wrong with him?

He felt like he was twelve again, going on his first date.

Aaron licked dry lips as the elevator doors clanked open and hurried over to the front door to push it open, feeling strangely breathless. As he realized a moment later, he'd completely forgotten how to breathe when his gaze fell onto an all-too-familiar—yet oddly foreign—figure.