The entire bus ride over to Ryland's apartment, Aldon was a mess. He kept looking out of the wide windows of the bus, out onto the street, as though... as though Gregg might be keeping pace alongside it. As though Gregg might be out there, knowing what he was about to do, where he was about to go.
Never in his entire life had Aldon felt this guilty, which was a minor miracle given how hard he'd disappointed Ryland in the past. But... he had never purposely set out to hurt Ryland. He did so through his own utterly selfish actions, yes, but never purposely. Never with the intent to run behind Ryland's back, never deliberately setting out to break his heart.
And yet, he couldn't turn his back on Ryland, either.
This was the part where Aldon usually turned tail and ran, yellow streak showing a mile wide. There was too much pressure on both sides--to stay with Gregg, for the good of the pack but also because he genuinely felt something for him. And on the other side of the equation, Ryland. His soul mate, if such things existed. His soul mate who made it pretty clear that he was not pleased with the recent developments.
In the middle? Aldon was sandwiched between the rock and the hard place, speeding down main street in a ramshackle bus.
He curled up in his seat and rocked forward, then backward. Part of him wanted to just run away, out of sight of both men. Maybe nobody would notice his absence. (Lie: everybody would notice.) Maybe he could come back in a month and everything would have worked itself out. (Wrong: things would be infinitely worse and he knew it.)
It hardly felt like any time at all before he was trudging off the bus, raking a hand agitatedly through his hair as he looked up at the modest apartment building that Ryland lived in. He moved--again--after their last break-up. Idiotically, Aldon thought of those times ruefully as being easier times--better times, despite the heartache that he and Ryland put each other through. At least only two people were involved back then. It was only them playing games, only he and Ryland making a mess of their lives. There wasn't that third person in the equation to tangle everything up. (The human obviously didn't count in Aldon's eyes.)
He reached into his pocket for reassurance--the block of post-it notes sat nestled between his keys and some spare change. Nervously, Aldon flicked a thumb over the stack. He took in a deep breath and then stepped into the building, walked up to the elevator, got into it. It rumbled and shook as it took him upstairs and the doors slid open to an empty hallway. Aldon stopped in front of the right door. Hesitated. His hand had risen with the intent to rap on the door but now it formed a loose fist. An indecisive fist. He pulled it back but remembered... the passionate embrace behind the animal shelter.
Knock knock knock!
Honestly, Ryland half expected Aldon not to show up. When times got rough, Aldon ran for the hills and if this wasn't a tough time, then Ryland couldn't think of a tougher one. Still, a part of him hoped that things would be different. The words had been exchanged now. It wasn't just one of them speaking and the other agreeing or nodding or changing the damn subject. Now it was mutual, it had been spoken mutually.
Yet he wondered if he could really go through with this. Ryland could definitely play the hot/cold card when he wanted to. Sometimes, he welcomed Aldon with arms wide open but there were just as many times where he'd turned his head away and told Aldon to just leave. They were both... not ideally suited, it seemed, to long term relationships. Or they were, just maybe not with each other, despite how often they came back to one another. Ryland didn't think he'd ever love anybody nearly as much as he loved Aldon. Ever. But he could love. He had the capacity to love again, to find new relationships, to fool himself into a new happily ever after before he saw Aldon again and that flame was lit anew.
He sat in the middle of his bed, legs crossed with his hands holding his ankles. His oversized sweater dwarfed him but it was warm, soft, and cozy as he listened to the wind outside his window. Rain droplets rolled down against it and he stared outside, as if he could somehow see Aldon when he showed up. Too bad his apartment faced the back of the street.
Lowering his head, he stared down at his own ankles and he sighed. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He wanted to tell Aldon he couldn't do this, not while Aldon was with somebody else. At the same time, he didn't feel... as guilty as he might have if the other person was an innocent party like his own boyfriends had been in the past. This was a hunter... ex or not.
Taking in another deep breath, he started to hold it when he heard the knocks. Although he'd been expecting them, Ryland still jumped at the sound. Then he was unfolding himself from the bed, scrambling to his feet, stumbling into his slippers and then heading for the door. He peered through the peephole--couldn't be too careful right now--and saw that it was just Aldon, and Aldon alone.
He unlocked the door and flung it open, heartbeat thumping hard in his throat. Since it was just Aldon, he felt little shame in leaping up and clinging onto him like a koala baby.
"You actually made it," he breathed against Aldon's ear, elated after setting himself up for one hell of a disappointment.
One moment, Aldon was nervously waiting for the door to open and the next--
"Oof!"
Armful of Ryland. It sure beat a shoe to the head though. Aldon's arms wound around him immediately and he turned to breathe Ryland in--not only his shampoo and cologne and whatever else, but him. His scent, the one that screamed not just fox but one particular fox. It was a purely animalistic instinct, and probably the one that led them to both argue and love with equal parts passion and ferocity.
"Of course I made it!" He wasn't so overcome by the sight, sound and scent of his lover that he couldn't sound indignant. Awkwardly, Aldon tried to move them inside. He waddled in and let the door slide closed behind him. It would have been easier to let go, disengage and walk in like a normal human being but he didn't want to let go of Ryland.
Ryland was the only thing keeping him from turning and getting on the return bus to his apartment.
He laughed, partly out of relief and partly because Aldon managed to sound so indignant. Really, it wouldn't have been much of a surprise if Aldon ended up not showing up, making some excuse or other... maybe even not that much. If that had been the case, Ryland would have taken the radio silence for confirmation that something more... real was going on between Aldon and his new guy, something that had more to do with the person and Aldon's feelings than it did with having to do it "for the pack."
Faced with the same situation, Ryland couldn't say he wouldn't do the same thing. But... would he? For years, Ryland absolutely loathed human beings for what they were capable of doing to his cousins. Yet he eventually found himself dating one, kissing him, whispering sweet words to him. Ryland didn't want to face up to being a total hypocrite, though.
He held on tighter to Aldon for a moment, grinning at him because Aldon hadn't dropped him or even tried to make him get down. Ryland laughed again because they had to look like a pair of goofs... to all the eyes that weren't looking at them in his empty apartment.
"So? Did you bring it?"
Aldon uttered several undignified grunting noises as he tried to get inside properly, only to stagger and smack his shoulder into the wall. "What," he wheezed, giving it another go. Aldon got off the wall and waddled out from the entryway, into the living room.
"You're... so heavy!"
The couch provided a convenient spot to drop Ryland onto, except Aldon toppled with him--half purposely, it must be admitted. Also sorta because his legs gave out from under him. "Oof!" He found himself sprawled on top of Ryland, with his face mashed against his chest. Aldon laid there unmoving for several moments, catching his breath.
Either Ryland gained a few pounds or he needed to work out more!
"Pocket," he said in a muffled voice, wiggling his hips to indicate where 'it' was. The stack of post-its in all colors of the rainbow, that he had to run out to the store to grab, and which he was scribbling on for most of the bus ride over. Then he wiggled again, this time to get off the couch. "No wait! Not yet!" Aldon put his hands in his pockets as though to prevent Ryland from getting at them. "Close your eyes! Look away!"
The post-it had now become an impromptu ticket to Ryland's heart and he wanted it, the physical proof of the things they'd talked about before. He wanted it, too, for those times when he thought for sure they were doomed and he couldn't believe he kept wasting time by going back to Aldon time and time again. Maybe this would help. Maybe it would be a strong reminder.
Whatever it was, he liked the idea of it. He wanted to see the words on paper, in Aldon's handwriting. Didn't matter how messy it might be or even if it was completely legible. Somehow, he just felt like he needed that thing in his hand, too look it over. Something tactile, something real, something with weight, even if it was something as light and fluttery as paper.
"No," he denied--he wasn't heavy! "You need to go to the gym more often!" Which he couldn't believe he even had to say since Aldon did have some nice arm muscles. And nice legs. And nice... everything. Everywhere. But as soon as the roles were reversed and it was Aldon's weight against him, it was Ryland who let out a muffled little whine not wholly unlike a distressed fox before he grasped Aldon by the shoulder and pushed at it.
"You're the heavy one!"
The wiggling hips was interesting, though. His gaze dropped to the aforementioned hips and he smirked but then before he knew it, Aldon was up and guarding his pockets like he knew Ryland was about to go and reach for them.
"Then how am I going to see them?" he protested, hands moving to Aldon's wrists like he could somehow wrest them away.
Aldon was not. Fat. He didn't even protest because it wasn't necessary to claim that he was in peak physical condition. Because. Look at him! But he settled for a dirty look; he could manage a dirty look.
As Ryland tried to get his hands out of his pockets, Aldon skittered away to put the coffee table between them as a physical barrier. "I have to do something with them first!"
He considered his choices. Ryland was a fox; even if Aldon told him to turn around and not look, he would likely peek. Foxes were like that, of course. (Not that Aldon wasn't like that...)
Without warning, Aldon bolted for the bedroom. He slammed and locked the door and stood with his back to it, digging his heels in like Ryland would try to batter down the door. "Just wait outside until I'm done! Two minutes Ry!" After giving the door handle a suspicious Look--did Ryland know how to pick locks??--he dove for the bed.
Aldon whipped out the block of post-its and began to arrange them on the bed, in the shape of a heart. Was it cheesy? Yes. But Ryland went for cheesy. (Har har har.) It took less than a couple of minutes and the final one, Aldon stuck over his own heart. It was stupid--but his pulse raced. He'd said the words and everything, though! It wasn't like he stood a chance of being rejected. This was just all new to him, and his heart pounding was out of excitement rather than fear.
With one last inspection of his rainbow heart, Aldon edged toward the door. "Okay, it's reaady!" He grinned as he unlocked it, then ran back to the bed and hurled himself onto it, assuming a "Draw me like one of your French girls" position on top of the mattress, beside the post-its.
"Whoa!"
He nearly toppled over as Aldon suddenly bolted away and toward his bedroom. Ryland rolled up onto one knee and grabbed onto the couch arm, watching in bewilderment as Aldon shut the door behind him. Up and after him, Ryland was too late--as he reached for the doorknob, it locked in place. Ryland shook it a couple of times, then knocked, like that was going to work.
It didn't.
At least, not immediately.
"Did you come to my place to lock me out of my own bedroom?" he asked through the door as he leaned against it. Beneath the crack in the door, he couldn't even tell what was happening. All he knew was that Aldon wasn't sitting by the door anymore. He had moved away. Ryland tried the knob again. Then frowned. Not working. Should he just let Aldon alone? He laughed aloud at the idea. No. He didn't wait half the night for this. Just as he was about to try knocking and calling out again, the door unlocked.
He heard it, followed by feet scurrying across the room. Ryland turned his head, trying to listen better. Nothing else. No, breathing. Just one person. Something else. Crinkle... sounds...? Hesitantly, he turned the knob again and this time it gave way, allowing him to swing the door open to... Aldon on the bed with a bunch of colorful papers. Post-its. Ryland raised his brows and gave Aldon a Look. He wasn't dumb--he could see the shape they formed--and that one silly one on Aldon's chest. As he moved forward, Ryland tilted his head and smirked, reaching out for the one over Aldon's heart.
"You forgot something."
"Did not!" Aldon protested, mentally running over everything. There were post-its. Ryland wanted post-its and he brought them! DID he forget something? Was there something else he needed to bring or to have with him? (Aside from his fine, not-fat self, obviously.)
"You're making things up now."
He looked up at Ryland, at the smirk that had formed on his face, and something in him stirred. It was impossible to not feel something for Ryland, be it good, bad or ugly. That stirring was... good. Promising. It edged out his thoughts of guilt, at least for the moment.
"This counts as your birthday and Christmas presents." Now he was making things up. Ryland would want a present for each occasion and Aldon would give them to him, if only to store up those precious brownie points--for when he invariably screwed up and needed a little buffer between himself and Ryland's righteous anger. He grinned, winningly, and reached for Ryland. His hand slipped up Ryland's arm--the one outstretched toward him.
Just in case he did forget something... "I... love you~" There was only a minor pause. The words no longer stuck in his throat. His grin widened as his hand slipped up higher to rest on Ryland's shoulder. "I did good this time, huh?"
"Hmm," he said, as if he had to think it over. "No, I think you did."
This was probably why he drove poor Aldon nuts but personally, he thought it was payback for all the times Aldon drove him crazy. How often had Ryland been sent into a downward spiral because he wanted more than Aldon seemed capable of giving? Now, he was just being greedy and he knew it. Because here Aldon was, with so many post-its that Ryland wondered how long he'd spent on them. Did they all have writing on them? He peered past the one he had taken from Aldon's chest. Seemed like it.
Impressive.
Not that he'd say that part aloud, because if he knew Aldon--and he did--then he'd just be inflating that ego of his. Sometimes he didn't mind doing so but there were other times where he wanted to pull Aldon closer to earth instead of watching him float away.
The look he gave Aldon for saying that this evening counted for his birthday and Christmas, however. He had a feeling that Aldon knew exactly what that look meant. It wasn't even presents in themselves that made him give Aldon that look. It was the fact that holidays, he felt, should be celebrated on their correct days. Didn't matter what the present was, as long as the day itself was made memorable in some way or other. Even if it was something silly and cheesy like post-its in the shape of a heart.
Ryland drew closer, a knee propped on the bed, disturbing some of the post-its. His gaze was on Aldon's, though. A part of him was distantly aware that he'd given Aldon a new weapon in any argument they had from now on. Those words hit him straight in the heart. It didn't even matter that there was a slight hesitation in them. The point was that Aldon was saying it, which made it easier to ignore the reason they were here now, in Ryland's room instead of at Aldon's place, where they originally meant to go.
With a mischievous smile, he pressed Aldon back against the tiny scraps of paper on the bed. A hand slid up, beneath Aldon's shirt.
"Could've done a tiny bit better." This time he gave Aldon's clothes a sweeping gaze. Yes, if Aldon had already been undressed, this whole thing would be Perfect with a capital P.
"I didn't!" Aldon insisted--more forcefully this time, as doubt began to mount. He could've sworn he did everything he needed to! He even brought more than one note and he made a perfectly symmetrical heart out of them! (Sort of. If symmetrical meant that one side was larger than the other, and a little crooked...) That was going above and beyond as far as he was concerned.
This Romantic Gesture (capitals included) had to tide him over for at least a couple of weeks, or however long it took for Gregg to find out from his hunter buddies about Andrew's killer. Aldon hated to think that he was not only cheating (about to cheat?) but that he was using Gregg. So he didn't think about it, and instead focused on the way that Ryland was looking at him.
It was the sort of look Aldon generally reserved for prime steak, or an opportunity for a tummy rub.
Laying on his back and looking up into Ryland's eyes, affection swept over Aldon like a warm, sweet wave. He smiled despite Ryland's criticism, good-naturedly rolling his eyes. Underneath, the post-its crinkled as he shifted.
"I did it just fine! Don't pick on me!"
Didn't have to make sense, anything that came from his mouth. Or anything that came from Ryland's mouth. They were connected by more than mere words, more than their history of making up and breaking up. There were post-its now. There was solid proof that Aldon's heart never went anywhere--it was just... shy. In hiding. But it didn't really ever stray (too far).
Reaching down, he slid his own hand overtop of Ryland's and urged it higher, bunching up his own shirt along the way. "Did I at least earn a tummy rub?" Aldon asked hopefully, even as he was manipulating Ryland's hand up and down his stomach, and even while his free hand was drifting not-so-innocently up Ryland's thigh.
"I'm not picking on you."
He was just pointing out that one tiny, tiny change would have made this whole thing absolutely perfect. Either way, it was kind of already their kind of perfect. A little lopsided, a little messy, but... theirs. That was the part that made things perfect. Although there might have been cracks in their foundation, they somehow kept things exciting, new, fresh. Interesting. And comfortable, too. There were things he did with Aldon, things he could say that he knew would never be the same with anybody else. The words I love you, could be whispered into another's ear but it wasn't like this. It never had been. Something always kept him looking back, even when he thought for sure that he'd finally left all things Aldon behind him.
It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. When they were together like this, it all fell into place like they'd never stopped seeing each other, like there had been no others, like there were no others now. Ryland loved Aldon with a fierce ache of the chest and a soft throb in his throat. His gaze moved to the note he'd taken off Aldon's chest and the ache only seemed to grow. He didn't toss it away--he was the one who asked for these--but instead, gently folded it and slipped it away into his back pocket. Even knowing full well that the pants would come off, he'd find that note again later and he'd keep it. He'd kept the little earring too, even if he didn't wear it. He wondered if Aldon even remembered that. Did he hang onto the one he'd kept for himself? Couple items. Really, even though it'd taken Aldon so long to just say the simple words, it was blatantly obvious how he felt in every sentimental gesture he made.
Why didn't he see that before? When the relationship soured, it colored everything in a new light. Ryland looked back on all Aldon's romantic gestures as nothing but show. But in the moment... he couldn't possibly think it. Not when he saw the smile on Aldon's face, the way his eyes lit up and he seemed to come alive when they were close, when they were together.
"I think you did," he said, eyes wandering up to the place where Aldon's shirt bunched up at his wrist. He played along, letting his hand be guided in a familiar motion. He would have done it anyway--that was the goal when he slid his hand up Aldon's shirt. But he was distracted by a certain other hand, sliding up his thigh. He let it keep on sliding as he leaned down to hover over Aldon, nose scrunched up for a few seconds before smiled, laughed, and moved Aldon's shirt up further. When he kissed Aldon, it was soft, affectionate--at first. Then it was tinged with mischievousness as he tugged at Aldon's shirt to remove it entirely. Sadly, it meant disengaging from the kiss--but only for a moment.
Once the shirt was gone, his hand slid up further and his lips met Aldon's again. With his heart beating faster, he kissed Aldon with renewed fervor, his body remembering all too well what hadn't happened back at the shelter when they were last together. Then, he'd been revved up and ready to go, feeling playful and sensuous. Now... Now he didn't want to simply jump right to the good stuff, despite how eager he was to just rip Aldon's clothes right off. His hands, which had moved down to start toying with the front of Aldon's pants, paused.
"I love you," he whispered, nose to nose with Aldon. He raised a hand to the side of his face as he rolled onto his side. Precious Aldon. His gaze remained fixed on him while his leg slid between Aldon's legs. He kissed him again, fingers moving through Aldon's hair, down over the shell of an ear, over the fuzz on the back of his neck. "I don't know how you do it."
Yeesh.
Ryland really couldn't know how much power there was in a look--in an affectionate gaze, a fond glance--because what Aldon saw in his eyes made the entire world go quiet and still. Made the world stop, as a matter of fact. The only thing that moved was Aldon's heart, throbbing, beating against his ribcage, clamoring to escape the confines of his chest.
He swallowed.
Aldon had always loved Ryland but maybe he didn't fully realize it until that moment. Maybe he didn't know the depths of his own feelings. No, he definitely didn't know how far down that love ran. He was a little lost at the first kiss, pursing his lips to kiss back a beat too late. Just a tiny peck, a comfortable gesture of affection between them that soon evolved into something more meaningful.
Without really noticing it, his shirt was off. His hand was already at Ryland's waistband, fingertips hooked around the elastic, just barely brushing warm skin as he dragged the garment low. The post-it was secure in Ryland's back pocket. He didn't know why it surprised him that Ryland pocketed it... There were at least two dozen at Aldon's back, that he was laying on, but that one... The one he put over his actual heart...
There were playful fingers at his pants too, but nobody was ripping the clothes off the other, despite being raring to go just earlier. Honestly, they both knew why Aldon was here. They knew how the evening would play out. History was doomed to repeat itself but maybe their insanity would pay off. Do the same thing enough times and one time out of one hundred, something special and different might happen. The odds were small--but miracles were known to happen.
Aldon shifted closer, abandoning his former endeavor in favor of slipping a hand around to Ryland's back to hold him close. He smiled--a muted (for him) and gentle smile. "I know." Their voices were both soft, mere whispers. Their words were meant for each other; there was no need to shout from the rooftops. Aldon could be a shameless attention whore in public but even he knew the value of a whisper when spoken to his lover.
"I was born with it." Whatever 'it' was. Aldon's laugh was breathy as his eyes drifted half-closed, savoring the caress of fingers at the nape of his neck. He leaned forward and brushed his nose against Ryland's, then his lips against Ryland's lips. The kiss was slow and unhurried and sweet. Aldon's legs twined tighter around Ryland's.
"I love you too." Not even a pause this time around.
"I believe it." Aldon had to be born with it. The way he could shift the way Ryland felt with a single look? Ryland could see him looking at his parents the same way, with those big eyes settled on them. Somehow, Aldon managed to worm his way back to Ryland's side, no matter what he did to get himself pushed away in the past. Nobody else could get away with even a fraction of the things Aldon did with Ryland. This was exactly what the people around him were saying. His closest friends, his companions, his two best friends in the world. They tried to drum common sense back into him. Ryland even begged Alva to help save him from himself. But there was nothing Alva could do if Ryland didn't even want to save himself.
At the moment, it seemed like there was nothing here to be saved from. Despite the knowledge that Aldon hadn't broken up with his boyfriend and that there could be possible... things happening between Aldon and that guy, Ryland was still letting himself be drawn in closer, arching his back into Aldon's touch and letting out a soft little sound, mirth mingled with content.
"I love you even more when you say it," Ryland whispered back, his lips brushing Aldon's with each word. He couldn't seem to tear his gaze from Aldon's dark eyes. Another kiss, another slow, soft, unhurried kiss. Before Aldon arrived, Ryland was pretty sure he was just going to jump Aldon and they'd fuck--like wild animals that had been denied the urge for far too long. Now he couldn't imagine this evening turning into something so crass. Funny, coming from a fox that was all too ready to do just that out in public not long ago.
That was before things became so serious.
Ryland was aware that he had been acting fairly territorial earlier and that was mainly because this--this thing happening now? Normally, Ryland was the one with the power to break up and make up. Sure, he broke down at Aldon's persistence and puppy eyes but it was always Ryland making the choices. Even if he was softened up, Ryland was the one who said sure, they were getting back together or Ryland was the one stepping back.
Aldon, though?
This was the first time that somebody felt like an actual threat. Aldon might just abandon other people. He might break things off with somebody else if it meant having Ryland back again. But... this, this thing with the other guy. It unsettled Ryland. Dare he even think it scared him a little? It started out with seeing them at a festival that had always been earmarked for the two of them. But it got worse now, with all the sordid drama surrounding the wolf pack.
Ryland's next kiss was just a touch more possessive with that in the back of his mind. But he was pleased because it was his back that Aldon's slid over and it was his legs that were entangled with Aldon's. He didn't often think it but he thought it now: mine. And in thinking it, he looked over Aldon's bare shoulder, at the smooth skin. He wanted so badly to leave a mark, some small indication that he'd been there. But he also didn't want to compromise Aldon's position, either.
"Thennn... I'll say it a lot from now on." Aldon grinned into the kisses. Unless this was one of those law of diminishing returns things, he'd say it left and right. Hey, he got into a lot of trouble with Ryland for a lot of perceived offenses. Sometimes he didn't know what he said or didn't say, or did or failed to do, that ticked Ryland off. Sometimes... he suspected that nothing he said or did was right, that Ryland was annoyed about something else altogether and used his latest escapade as an outlet for his own frustrations.
Probably over this very thing--over the words.
Aldon knew how much it hurt Ryland when he didn't reciprocate. It hurt him, too. After a while, the scratch became a sore, became an open wound. They couldn't even pretend that they were all right towards the end and emotions always ran too high for them to have a proper reunion--or a proper break-up. Ryland was the one controlling the status of their relationship and Aldon always felt too pressured to stick around.
Yet, for some reason, they still drifted back to each other. Nothing about their relationship was healthy or normal and everybody said so. The people closest to them were only trying to help, Aldon knew that, but he grew to resent them as much as he grew to resent Ryland's constant pushing and prodding. Nothing felt right. He didn't know where to turn or what to do and if not for Gregg, Aldon probably would have ended up walking along a much darker path.
But he didn't want to think about Gregg, or how much Gregg really did for him--how much good Gregg did while they were together, to repair the parts of Aldon that had been broken and torn. He kept his eyes on Ryland. He kissed Ryland, let his scent and warmth steal away the bad, guilty feelings and thoughts until all he felt was love, and being loved. There was something a little fierce in the last kiss but Aldon liked it, even as it surprised him. He hadn't been joking when he said that Ryland was becoming more and more wolf-like; that felt more like a wolf's kiss more than a sly little fox kiss.
"What're you looking at?" Aldon's tone was mildly amused. He, too, looked at his own shoulder, and then he looked at Ryland's shoulder. Mistaking the scrutiny for something else, he tugged on Ryland's shirt, thinking that Ryland was contemplating their state of dress. Clothes had to come off. That seemed like a given, since they'd already come this far. Languidly his leg slid up the side of Ryland's leg, then back down. What happened to the rest of that belly rub? Aldon's stomach was conspicuously un-rubbed right now.
He reached for one of Ryland's hands and placed it back on his stomach. Then he gave Ryland the devastating puppy eyes, just like he said he would over the phone. "More tummy rub?"
He smiled. Good. That meant he had Aldon right where he wanted him. He could hear the words until he was sick of them. He wanted to hear them over and over again. Just as long as Aldon didn't start using them the way he used that look--that exact one he was giving Ryland right now, as a matter of fact. After Aldon asked his innocent enough question, it was that look. The puppy stare, the one he used whenever he wanted something and he knew it only took a moment for Ryland to respond.
Belly rubs. They seemed like the foundation of their relationship. Ryland didn't even fully remember how it started, either. It was just a thing between them. Ryland certainly didn't go around rubbing all the bellies he saw. Something about that puppy-like appearance made it seem like it might be a thing Aldon would like though, ridiculous as he probably thought it was the first time. Now it was practically a staple of their relationship and Aldon seemed a glutton for it.
His hand ran over Aldon's stomach as he regarded him. He almost did it--almost did something stupid, like tried to bite Aldon. It wouldn't do anything to him; shifters didn't typically change the people they bit, just the way Aldon's bite wouldn't do anything to him. People liked to lump them together but really, werewolves and shifters, they were different in a lot of regards. But they were similar in a lot, too.
While he obliged Aldon's need for belly rubs, he leaned in for another kiss, leading into another and another until he was trailing warm kisses down Aldon's cheek and his jaw and the side of his throat. He kissed his shoulder, too, the place where he thought about biting down hard enough to leave a mark. He didn't but he did let his teeth graze his skin before his kisses started in a downward direction, over the smooth muscle of his chest and down the middle of his abdomen where kisses replaced his hand over his stomach, below his belly button. Hands slid over Aldon's side, up his ribs, down his back, over his hip. Fingers moved over clothing, slipping it down and leaving a kiss on the taut skin over his pelvic bone.
Belly rubs. All dogs liked a good belly rub. Wolves did too, apparently. Aldon didn't know what it was but it relaxed him. And simultaneously turned him on. It was sort of a weird thing but he supposed that it fit in with the theme of their relationship being anything but normal. He didn't let just anyone touch his stomach or rub it, though, much in the same way that wolves didn't simply roll over for just anybody.
Only Ryland.
Aldon let out a purely canine sound of contentment as Ryland's hand moved against his stomach, spreading warmth along his entire body. His skin tingled, too; it was entirely satisfying. Maybe it even qualified as an erogenous zone, he didn't know, but he knew that he never wanted Ryland to stop. Sighing into the kisses--Ryland was extremely affectionate tonight... and Aldon was content to be loved, as always--he looped an arm around Ryland's shoulders, holding him closely and securely. Nobody was going anywhere. Tonight was all for them; their night to be together as lovers.
"Ahh..." Teeth scraping along his shoulder drew a soft noise. Aldon wasn't into that whole biting scene, the way his friends were, but he liked the juxtaposition of hard and soft. Soft, warm lips, the hard edge of teeth. It felt good. He shifted languorously, letting his leg drift against Ryland's, gently squeezing the back of Ryland's neck and then letting his hand drift down. Aldon's fingertips curled in against Ryland's back as he drifted lower and his hooded, dark eyes followed Ryland's descent with evident interest.
It seemed obvious where Ryland was going. It was obvious that Aldon was pleased by the thought of him getting there. He let a hand drift through the hair at the top of Ryland's head as his own fell back against the pillow slightly, anticipation heating his body, making his limbs feel achey and restless. "Ry... No teasing," Aldon half-sighed as he reached for his pants to push them down himself. Sly fox that he was, Ryland would take his sweet time removing them and Aldon was far too impatient to be teased and tortured.
One thing that had always been a huge plus in Ryland's book when it came to Aldon was his expressiveness. Now, normally, it could be annoying or even overwhelming but there were times when it was highly amusing or a source of affection. Ryland mostly liked that Aldon was the type of person to vocally speak out his protestations and aired his grievances without the slightest thought put into his words first. It made arguing with him pretty easy, honestly. But it also meant that when it came to lavishing him with attention, Aldon wasn't the slightest bit shy about showing how much he enjoyed it.
Aldon had always been the kind of person who liked to be the center of attention but Ryland got the feeling that he liked being the center of Ryland's attention most. This wasn't some misguided sense of inflated ego, either. Ryland wasn't nearly as attention seeking as Aldon and while he was confident, he would hardly call himself arrogant. Even Aldon, in all his confidence, somehow managed to dodge the arrogant label because of the way his confidence presented itself. He could be way too confident at times. He could even be downright cocky about certain things. His friends were arrogant. They sneered, they looked down on foxes. Aldon might have tried it but it didn't work. Look at him now--at the mercy of a fox.
Every part of Aldon was engaged. His body moved, his head moved, his hands moved. Ryland could feel them, against his back, in his hair. Eyes turned upward as hands impatiently pushed away pants and Ryland smiled to himself, not even bothering to combat him. He let the pants go, let them be thrown at the wayside, along with the rest of their clothes, his own and Aldon's both. His smile lit up his eyes as he looked up at Aldon, hands moving to either thigh. Aldon had nice legs, nice thighs. He knew it, too, but he loved to be flattered and Ryland knew it.
"You're so handsome." His hand stroked Aldon's inner thigh before he slid it up to go back to the belly rubbing. Something else he knew full well--Aldon loved belly rubs but he probably wanted something else now. No teasing. Leaning back up, he kissed Aldon again. A deceptively soft kiss that ended with Aldon's lower lip gently caught between his teeth. Nose to nose, he smiled slyly while his lower body moved against Aldon's. "So cute."
"You are too," Aldon replied with perfect honesty, reaching down to cup one of Ryland's cheeks as he spoke. Ryland was handsome, too. Of course, Aldon already knew that he was good-looking and he acknowledged the compliment as nothing more than his due. They made a lovely couple, he thought. A handsome couple. The kind of couple people looked at and envied and Aldon did enjoy being envied.
That was why he needed Ryland's attention. Because others wanted it, but only he could have it--all of it. And it was why he couldn't stand the thought of Ryland being with anyone else. He didn't want to envy others; he wanted them to want to be him. Maybe it was petty or childish or plain stupid, but Aldon didn't care. He knew he had a lot of growing up to do still, that he was far from perfect, but...
When Ryland smiled at him like that, he felt pretty damn close to perfection.
"You're teasing me," he murmured in complaint, once his lower lip was freed. He definitely thought that Ryland was going to stay down there but apparently his sly fox had other plans. Aldon licked his lips, tasting his lover. He ached for Ryland, both South of the belt and North of the belly button. His heart, his--little Aldon. Both needed Ryland but admittedly, one more so than the other. Arching his body wantonly up against Ryland and grinding against him lasciviously, Aldon attempted to 'persuade' him with one of his tried and true tactics. His hands slid in opposite directions, one low--to grope--and one high--to bring Ryland's head back down for a slightly more steamy kiss.
"I had a rough day..." Aldon nuzzled the tip of his nose against Ryland's, lips brushing softly, guilt being applied even more softly--albeit craftily. "Rae punched me in the throat..." Aldon tried the puppy eyes again, even as his needy body rose to meet Ryland's once again. "Don't tease..."
"I know," he said with a cheeky smile. Aldon didn't have to tell him. He heard him say it before and he heard other people say it, too. Again, confidence. Not arrogance. But he still liked to hear it, even if he didn't preen under the words the way Aldon sometimes did. His voice went low and husky as he said it again, "I know."
Because he was most definitely teasing Aldon. Sometimes, when it had been a long time, Ryland hopped right to it. Sometimes, he didn't. Sometimes he felt like playing games, like those silly games while he texted Aldon and led him around by the nose before he showed up at the animal shelter to find him. There was something in the game that made it more fun for him. It was the anticipation, the excitement, the mirth and playful nature of it all... Aldon didn't know it but not everybody actually liked that in a partner. Ryland had never told him why some of his relationships failed; he just let Aldon think it was him.
The real problem was, some people really didn't have the patience to deal with somebody like him. Some people didn't approve of being toyed with. Some people took it as an insult. Some people read it as disinterest and completely misunderstood his intentions. Aldon, however, Aldon knew he was being played with and while he played the injured party well, he knew. He had to know. He had always known.
"Oh, I know, baby. I heard about it," he said, oh-so-sympathetically as he reached up to gently massage Aldon's throat. And to think, he thought about biting it when it was probably still tender. He doubted Aldon would have liked that much. Between Aldon's tone of voice, the big eyes, and the ardent way he moved his body, Ryland had to let out a soft laugh. Mixed signals? Not exactly. But it was definitely getting some wires crossed because the big eyes made him more susceptible to wanting to coddle and cuddle Aldon. And the way he jerked his body against his made him want to do something else.
With his lips pressed gently against Aldon's jaw, his hand slid low, following the path his lips had taken not too long ago. His fingers sought a familiar heat, his hand wrapped around him and stroked him affectionately, which was probably not exactly what Aldon wanted, judging by the way his body seemed to move so restlessly against him.
"Fine. I won't tease. What do you want?" His lips moved to Aldon's ear to whisper options: the obvious, hm? Or would he prefer something more mutual? Did he want to be inside or did he want Ryland inside? Options, options... so many options.
"It was your fault," Aldon whispered sulkily, cringing a little when Ryland touched a particularly sore spot. His collar had hidden it earlier but now that the clothes were off, the bruise must have been noticeable. And Ryland had to have seen it, with his observant eyes. He always did have that particular knack of reading Aldon--even when Aldon did his damned best to hide things from him. A physical, blatant mark like that was like a flashing neon sign, really.
Yet, still the teasing. Ever the teasing. Aldon wasn't a fox but he liked the games and they both knew it. He was a playful wolf himself, unlike his more intense friends--Rae being the hot head and Josh being... well, Josh. Josh played games too but they were cruel and Aldon didn't particularly enjoy them. Josh was his friend so he turned a blind eye but Aldon didn't have to approve of everything that his friends got up to!
He sighed, half exasperated, half enjoying the attention. It was impossible to dislike being with Ryland in any capacity. Aldon squirmed--inside and out--but he liked that Ryland was teasing him, toying with him, playing with him. This was Ryland at his best, at his foxiest and most desirable. Even the look in his eyes was sly and clever and mischievous, though softened much by affection. What he did, he did out of love, and Ryland could do no wrong tonight.
"Ah--you say that--but--" Aldon rode against Ryland's palm as frustration mounted with so much careful and slow stroking. He raked a slow path down the length of Ryland's back, leading with his nails, their hard edges clipping warm skin. A tortured groan left his parted lips--options, options. Could he have all of it? All at once? Was that physically impossible? Probably.
"I want..." He wanted it all! Aldon ran through each option in turn in his mind and each seemed more appealing than the last. What he really wanted was for Ryland to get on with it but he knew that blurting it out would do him no favors. If anything, it would just make Ryland go slower, tease him more with these sweet, careful touches, until Aldon had enough and flipped him over, or made a break for the bathroom to take matters into his own hands. (Most likely the former than the latter, though--why would he run for the bathroom with his lover right here?)
"I want... you." His smile was childishly pleased, as though he had made a monumental decision--but it was really quite obvious that he wanted Ryland. He wanted Ryland all along. "On top." Aldon's fingers slid low, their tips pressing insistently against the curve of Ryland's ass. It was a nice ass. Oh--it was definitely nice. He remembered ogling Ryland's ass back when they worked together at the theater, when he would make Ryland get all the items at the bottom of the display case just to make him bend over.
"I want... to be inside."
"I know," he said again with a smirk, because he'd said it like five times in the span of a couple of minutes. He knew--he knew Aldon wanted him. That was why he was here and he was pretty secure in that knowledge. Not that he'd tell Aldon that before he showed up, he wasn't quite so secure. He kept those thoughts to himself because they were nothing but trouble. Aldon didn't need to know that for an agonizing few hours after they split up, all he could think about was how threatened he actually was.
Aldon probably knew that, somewhere deep down. He had to, to point out Ryland's unusual... wolfishness. Foxes might also be territorial in nature but Ryland as a person wasn't. Not generally. That was how he got away playing games with a big, bad wolf. Because he played hot and cold on him all the time, running to him only to run away again, usually with that knowing little smile. No matter how long they spent apart, it felt like they'd always come back together. Nothing could threaten that.
It was kind of cruel, thinking back on it. People were always saying he was a saint, that he had to have the patience of one to deal with the likes of Aldon. But Ryland secretly thought it was the other way around. Aldon wasn't the slippery one. Ryland was. Aldon didn't like the commitment thing, he didn't want to say the words, he didn't want to trap himself. But Ryland wanted him wound around his finger and he wasn't always happy with how their relationship turned out... always thinking Aldon was the one to blame for not being more committed, for not saying the words when he wanted to hear them. But Ryland... Ryland was the one who kept stringing others along in real relationships only to drop them for Aldon when he missed him and he wanted him back.
It was a cruel game. It was also a shitty time to be thinking it, although it had been flitting in and out of his mind during the radio silence between himself and Aldon. Who was he to keep pulling him back in when he was actually moving on--for once? Yet here they were. Aldon was still wrapped around his pinky finger, just like he wanted him to be. Accidental and unintentional as it was, he could see it all from the outside for the first time and he really, really didn't know how Aldon had dealt with it for so long.
But even so, he remained selfish, not letting go of Aldon. Not telling him this is wrong, go. It wasn't wrong when he was the one getting the attention. He looked down at Aldon with a softening gaze. He felt like he was looking at Aldon for the first time. Really looking at him for the first time in a long time. Aldon was definitely a handsome man. It wasn't like he couldn't do better. For all his blustering and adoration of having his ego stroked, Aldon had honest eyes. His expressiveness belied a more serious side that wasn't often easily spied.
"Already there," he said softly. Already on top, right where Aldon wanted him. He moved his body against the hands that wandered low, although he wasn't above a little reminder that he was indeed on top by rounding his hips against Aldon. Stroking him, his expression turned thoughtful; it wasn't new for Aldon to want to be inside or for Ryland to be on top. He was pretty sure Aldon just wanted it because it meant getting right to it--since they were already perfectly positioned for it. After another deep kiss, Ryland gave Aldon one last stroke before rolling off him, making sure to let his foot slide up Aldon's leg as he did so.
"Lube," he said, by way of explanation before rolling over the bed for the bedside table. Lube. Condoms. Aldon's worst enemy next to insults on his appearance. Really, now should be the time for them but for some foolish reason, he left the condoms behind. Not long after, he was climbing back on top of Aldon, slipping a hand covered in lube over Aldon as he continued where he left off. He stole another kiss, slow and sultry.
"I love you, Aldon."
"What?" Aldon didn't know what that look was in Ryland's eyes, what the marvel and contemplation was about. He blinked almost innocently up at Ryland--for once only up to his usual tricks. Played, tired old tricks that somehow still worked, because Ryland let him get away with things like playing the victim card over and over again, or like the puppy eyes. Why mess with a good thing, right?
Except it wasn't always good. Aldon didn't always get away with murder--only when Ryland let him. He hadn't really cottoned on yet to the fact that he was the one in the trap. He wasn't the spider; he was the fly. A willing fly, but a fly nonetheless. He was just a dumb wolf, nowhere near as sly as a fox. As far as animal instincts went, wolves were fairly direct. It was easy and obvious to tell what Aldon wanted--tummy rubs, attention. The same couldn't always be said of Ryland but perhaps that was what kept Aldon around--what kept him interested, kept him guessing. At least their relationship could never grow stale. He couldn't see himself growing tired or bored of Ryland and they'd been doing this for years now.
It definitely wasn't for everybody, this dynamic that they held, but it was fine for Aldon. He had a short attention span anyway. He needed the stimulation, the chase--after all, he was a born predator and giving chase was what he did best. But his prey couldn't get too far ahead of him. He and Ryland couldn't be separated for too long or other people might start creeping into his field of view, like Gregg and like what happened this time around, when Ryland cut off all ties and Aldon was left to drift on his own.
Aldon let out a whimper when Ryland's hips bore down against him, hands clenching reflexively--an inadvertent grope that turned into an actual grope since his hands were already there. He wasn't desperate but he was getting there, and it didn't look like Ryland wanted to move things along. Probably enjoying his seat of power, so to speak. Enjoying the fact that he had Aldon at his mercy right now, in his apartment, in his bed. Aldon wanted him--needed him. That kind of power could go to a person's head and Aldon would know; he'd had Ryland in the same position a few times.
"Mmm... hurry." He groaned in disappointment when Ryland rolled away. There was exactly not enough of everything. One deep kiss, when he needed a plethora rained down on him. A few touches, when he wanted to be held and thoroughly loved. Some unsatisfying grinding action, when all he wanted was sex, no matter who was on top or on bottom, or who was doing the fucking. Position wasn't important, anyway; there were no rules to govern their love life. They were both open, passionate people and without having to sit down and discuss everything, they understood each other's limits. Sex came easily and effortlessly to them, in a way that Aldon always wished their actual relationship could emulate.
No point thinking about that now, when everything was complicated. He sighed and flopped back down as Ryland rolled off of him, making a show of displaying his discontent. Spread-eagle on the bed, he gave the ceiling one of his more unamused Looks. "I'm dying Ry! Hurryyy!" The over-exaggeration was purely for his own sake, because Ryland was hurrying and soon he was back with lube. But. No condoms? Aldon remembered their silly argument over condoms--he disliked them. Ryland was a fan of safety. Aldon didn't like how they felt on him, and they took a little something away from the whole experience of getting intimate for him. Sometimes they used them, sometimes he insisted on not using them.
Tonight, Ryland was willing to humor him, which only went to show how indulgent he could be when it came to Aldon. Maybe... Aldon realized that a little (a little belatedly, too). Maybe he smirked into the next languid kiss, letting Ryland's slippery fingers coat him. Finally, some action! He loved the sweet moments, the tender caresses, the loving way that Ryland looked at him, as though he was the only man on Earth... but goddamn, Aldon was ready. They had to do it now, while he was under Ryland's spell, and before sense and reason and common decency kicked into high gear.
"I love you too." He reached up to cradle Ryland's cheek. "I always did. Always," he repeated, for confirmation. "Always. And more than anybody else you've ever dated." That was important to state, in order to elevate him far above all of those other men that Ryland loved and left.
On a time limit? he wanted to tease him but he thought better of it. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to remind somebody of that other person waiting back home. The last thing Ryland wanted was to be left alone with proverbial blue balls because he teased too mercilessly. Even he knew where the line was and once teasing lost its fun element, it just became bullying.
So he paid careful attention to Aldon, making sure to stroke him just the way he liked it, his palms sliding up, his fingers gripping him tight but not too tightly. A thumb slid atop the head and he could feel the heat inside of Aldon. He wanted him. He needed him. It was a heady feeling, a power trip for sure. Just looking down at Aldon's handsome face, with his back arched and his head thrown back and his body lifting up against him was a turn on.
"...I know." He smiled, turning his smile against Aldon's cupped hand and kissing his palm. He knew that Aldon loved him, that he had always loved him, and that he loved him more than any other sap Ryland drew in. His eyes half closed while he allowed Aldon to grope him, to do whatever he needed to do in order to prepare him. His own body arched into his touch, his arm hands, capable, strong, reliable. No matter what went on between them, whatever rifts seemed to tear them apart, they seemed stronger than all that.
"You want to know a secret?" he asked, shifting his body so that he could sit atop Aldon, guiding him up, inside. Letting out a small sound in the back of his throat, he leaned slightly forward, using his free hand to steady himself, braced against the bed. Yet as he struggled to take Aldon in slowly rather than jumping straight into it, he felt his arm tremble slightly. His gaze, however, was steady as it rested on Aldon.
"I don't think I've ever been in love with anybody else." He said the words quietly, like they were really a secret. In all honesty; he'd never shared that thought with anybody in his life, especially not Aldon. Not when he liked to make sure that he knew he didn't need him. But really... really... His eyes closed as he slid down to the hilt and he let out a low, guttural moan. His knees wrapped, tightened around Aldon.
"Just you..."
"...yes..." Aldon wanted to know. Everything. Not only secrets but everything--what made Ryland frown, what made him laugh, what made him frown on the outside but laugh on the inside. He wanted to know what got Ryland up in the mornings--other than himself, of course--and what his deepest, darkest desires were (again, other than Aldon himself). Aldon imagined that he knew a lot about Ryland already, simply from the time that they'd spent together, but there was still so much more to learn.
Was it the time, though? Was it time for secrets, when they were just beginning to connect in all the right ways? Aldon sighed restlessly, willing himself to lay still while Ryland moved over him with aching slowness. Ahh... but it felt good. It felt like coming home, where he belonged. It was familiar, it was right. This was what he missed, what he knew, what he loved--both Ryland and the act of making love to him.
"Oh..." He couldn't stop himself from looking smug and pleased. "Never ever?"
The question ended in a groan of his own and his hands flew to either side of Ryland's hips. "Ah--we'll get back to this... later." Seriously, this was... it wasn't a terrible time for secrets but Aldon didn't know if it was necessarily a good time, especially since it was a secret that inflated his ego to enormous proportions. And his ego was already quite bloated, even Aldon wouldn't contest that. Besides, the way that Ryland moaned... the way his legs tightened against Aldon's... it brought out the wolf in him, no word of a lie.
"R-Ry..."
"Yes," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Never ever."
He said the words, he thought he felt the feelings but when he looked back on it, none of it was really true. Nobody ever kept him coming back. When he broke up with them, he never went back. He moved on, looked forward, never backward. With Aldon, everything was different. He was sure he'd said the words I love you to people before Aldon and he knew for certain he'd said them to people after him but... no matter how sincere he thought he was being, his heart was never there with him.
When he was with Aldon, everything was in sync. Everything felt... right, in the moment. When it was just the two of them, whether it was arguing over hot cheese or stupid things like when he was going to give Aldon a belly rub, there was almost always an under current of something else. There was always a bit of that sexual tension between them, even when he pretended Aldon was annoying him or that there was no way he liked that guy back when they first met and worked together.
He wasn't going to argue with Aldon now, though. Secrets were for later, when they weren't reaching a fever pitch. He closed his eyes and moved against Aldon. It took a moment to get used to his body around Aldon, even as his legs tightened around Aldon and he let out another soft moan. His back arched as he slowly began to move his lower body against Aldon. Teasing motions, circular, a little bit up, a little bit down. While he rode against Aldon, he arched his back again, hands sliding over Aldon's bare chest.
"Ah... Aldon..." He repeated his name a couple of times, his head filled with nothing but his name. He tipped his head forward, hovering for a moment before capturing Aldon's mouth with his. A hand slid down his chest and over his stomach, knowing full well what belly rubs did to Aldon, especially when he was in the mood.
Belly rubs and Aldon belonged in the same sentence together. Fairly early on in their relationship, he did a stupid--ate too much at the strawberry festival (their first festival, as a matter of fact) and came home bursting at the seams, moaning about exploding and dying. Laying in bed in pain, he made with the puppy eyes at Ryland and Ryland came over to see what he could do. Tummy rubs ensued and Aldon liked it so much that he kept asking for it. Somewhere along the way it became a tradition.
He couldn't say what it was about a hand on his stomach, stroking him, that made every other part of his body flare with heat. Or was it unique to Ryland? And Ryland's hand? Aldon had never tried it with anyone else; it didn't feel right.Just like going to the strawberry festival with Gregg made him feel crummy on the inside, asking someone else to do what Ryland had always done also felt crummy.
He wrapped his arms around Ryland, pulling him down for more kisses--hungry kisses, passionate kisses, needy and desperate and demanding kisses. His head was swimming; it wasn't unlike the feeling he got after coming down from a rollercoaster, all on an extreme high. The euphoria of being with his lover was incomparable and indescribable, especially now that they were both on the same page--finally.
"Ry... I love you, Ry." An impassioned whisper, right by Ryland's ear, as his arms wound around Ryland's shoulders. Aldon didn't say it, but he knew that he shared Ryland's secret. That he had never truly loved anyone the way he loved Ryland. Even from the beginning, their chemistry was undeniable. No one else could compare. It was like the sun and the stars--once the sun came out, it was impossible to see the stars. Only when the sun set did the stars even begin to weakly twinkle. Ryland was his sun. He eclipsed everyone in Aldon's eyes, blinding him to anyone who dared to try and turn his head.
Some people could say the words without meaning it, simply to manipulate their partner. Whatever his fault, Aldon wasn't one of those people. It didn't take long for the pleasure to crest, to wash over his body as he arched into Ryland and moaned his name. He could barely breathe--too many kisses, too greedy--but Aldon didn't regret a single moment. He fell back, completely spent and exhausted, with stars in his eyes.
Or maybe more aptly, with the sun in his eyes--his private sun. Almost idly he twined his fingers with Ryland's and turned his face into the pillow, breathing hard but satisfied and, for the first time in a long while, without the fear of another blow-up lingering in the back of his mind. Because he said the words, and that was all that was needed to set them right.
"I love you, too," he whispered fiercely. He couldn't hear it enough, he couldn't say it enough. Every beat of his heart seemed to sing it, every move of his body, every roll of the hips, every kiss, every rub of the tummy, everything. Everything seemed to hum Aldon's name. All he could hear was his breath in his ears, the sound of his voice saying the words he'd yearned to hear for so long. Somehow, he felt fulfilled and content and happier than he could ever remember feeling and he hadn't even hit the crescendo yet.
Heat and friction made his body restless, the unhurried kisses from earlier giving way to fervent, ardent kisses that didn't feel like enough. The content feeling stuttered slightly as his body tensed and for a moment, the entire world felt like it was coming to a spinning, dizzying stop. When he opened his eyes, he saw only Aldon through a stray lock of hair that had fallen over his eyes.
Nothing was more beautiful than the sight of Aldon in the throes of passion. In his arms, he felt loved, wanted, and desired. His eyes fluttered closed again as he let out one last moan before his lips fell upon Aldon's shoulder. He heard Aldon, too, with his name on his breath, his body arching into him one last time. One of Ryland's hands grasped at the sheets beneath Aldon as he let go.
It felt like they had forever as he lay spent atop Aldon. After a few breaths, he raised himself once more, then rolled over onto his side next to Aldon. Curling up around him, he looked down at their intertwined fingers. He kissed them, the tops of Aldon's fingers as he drew closer to his warmth. Then he raised his head to nuzzle against Aldon, lips brushing the underside of his chin and then his jaw. "I love you," he murmured against his throat.
"I know," Aldon said smugly, though his smile was soft. He curled an arm around Ryland and gently dragged his fingers through Ryland's hair. It was soft and fluffy and red this time around. It used to be a dark brown, then blond. Aldon couldn't say which shade he preferred; Ryland would look good with rainbow hair, probably. He plucked up a few strands, let them fall back into place, then repeated the motion, playing with Ryland's hair like an easily distracted child. In the afterglow, he was too lazy to do anything else.
"How come we never knew each other when we were growing up?" It was an idle question, as he suddenly thought of Roe and Ashley. Was Roe ever going to find love? Aldon hoped so--better still if it was with their childhood friend. Aldon trusted Ashley. He never trusted Pez. Amusingly, Pez was about as skittish about commitment as Aldon was but... at least Aldon realized the error of his ways! Pez never did and never would, he was sure.
Aldon shifted and something crinkled under his back. He reached for it, pulled it out--a post-it note. It had been crumpled in the... ah... heat of the moment and when he straightened it, he could see his large, messy writing all over it. I love you Ryland! After a moment's thought, he stuck it on Ryland's shoulder.
Of course he knew. Ryland scrunched up his nose at the smug tone but he smiled a second later because nobody could be smiled like that by Aldon and keep playing the victim card. They would be too busy awash in warmth and affection for that, the way Ryland was. Briefly, Ryland closed his eyes, allowing himself to be completely spoiled by fingers in his hair. He loved the feel of Aldon's hands on him. Didn't matter where or why. He literally threw cheese at him--hot cheese--and Ryland was still head over heels, deeply, crazy in love with him.
"I don't know," he said thoughtfully, cocking his head so he could get a better look at the side profile of Aldon's face. It was a good, valid question. They were in the same area growing up. They probably should have come across each other at some point, especially since there were so few students at a time that there were only a handful of schools. Most people went to school with the same people in their age bracket unless they were homeschooled. (Which was also popular in these parts.) Still, they should have met somewhere, sooner.
"I guess because we were in different crowds." He started to speculate further when Aldon stuck a post-it on his chest. Ryland looked down at it, then clicked it off. Smiling cheekily at Aldon, he leaned in and gave him a soft nip-kiss. "I love you too, Aldon," he said, sensing that Aldon was fishing. As he slid an arm over Aldon's waist and idly rubbed his tummy, he thought it over some more.
"I think I knew of you, though. But people said to stay away from wolves."
"Oh yeah, and I was hanging out with uh. Rae and Josh." Aldon coughed their names; they weren't known to be fox-sympathizers. In fact, Aldon had a bad feeling that Ryland or some of Ryland's friends might have been bullied by one or the other of them. Aldon didn't do the physical shake-downs, but he stood by and watched. And laughed. He didn't have the best reputation around the high school, this was true,
Roe, on the other hand, was like everybody's favorite. Which might have irked Aldon somewhat since they looked identical and why didn't people love him as much? (Maybe that whole hanging out with 'Raezyr' and 'Josh' thing...)
"Didn't I see some pictures of you from high school?" A broad grin broke out on Aldon's face; a goofy, stupid grin. Part of it was from the tummy rub. Good old tummy rubs, nothing like them in the whole world to make Aldon feel good. He practically melted into Ryland, nuzzling him like an overgrown puppy, wiggling into place against him, so close that not even a crane could have lifted him away.
But the other part of the stupid shit-eating grin was because he just remembered--"Weren't you like a nerd?"
"...yeah..."
Ryland definitely remembered those two growing up. That was probably how Aldon got shoved out of the spotlight (despite being a spotlight hound!) They were jerks and assholes and personally, Ryland didn't know how much they really changed. Something softened a little bit in Rae after he started falling for Alva but that was kind of a fluke. If they hadn't been together in a bad situation, there was no telling what lengths Rae would go to against them. Probably the only reason Josh wasn't causing havoc on his own was because of Aldon and Rae's current situations.
And he did remember Roe, somewhat. A lot of people knew who he was. Ryland even thought Aldon was him for maybe two minutes when they started working together. He quickly realized that wasn't the case and not just because of the different name on his name tag.
"I wasn't a nerd," he argued. "I think I was more on the border. Not a cool kid, not a jock, not a nerd." He gave Aldon a Look. "Just a guy." Then he lightly smacked Aldon on the shoulder. "Where'd you find a picture from me in high school? Yearbook?"
"That's what all the nerds say," he teased, because while Ryland hadn't been full-on nerd, he definitely wasn't as beautiful as he was now. Maybe he was more dorky than nerdy? Definitely not somebody who showed up on Aldon's radar though!
"Maybe." Aldon remained noncommittal, hoping that Ryland wouldn't ask him why he wanted to dig up old photos. (Totally to see what Ryland was like when he was a teenager. And it wasn't even just one yearbook; it was every yearbook from every year that Aldon could get his hands on.)
"Maybe I asked around. Maybe... I asked your mom..." He didn't, but that was actually not a bad idea. Unless Ryland had been telling her about him, in which case he might not be so willing to walk into that house.
"Bastard."
It was true, though. Most nerds didn't claim to be nerds unless they were the kind who weren't actually nerds. The hipsters, the ones who were cool because they were different. "Different" in quotes, though, because in reality... they were pretty much like the rest of their generation. Ryland was a bystander, though. He wasn't really a part of any group in high school. His best friends were his disabled cousin and somebody who struggled with her identity for a while before finally doing something about it. Before that, she was just a flamboyant guy who got a lot of shit in school. Now she was really coming into herself.
Ryland envied her sometimes. He wished he knew how to find himself. Sometimes he was so certain who he was and where he stood but then there were strange days, like today, where he discovered things about himself that he thought might have been better left unturned. Like the whole... wolfish thing. Ryland didn't want to be a possessive a-hole. He just wanted... Aldon. So why did it take a real threat to shine a light on that?
He tried not to dwell on it. Things were light hearted between them now and he didn't want to stir things up when he was finally in Aldon's arms. With paper that kept sticking to him. He was pretty sure some of the ink was going to stick to him, too.
"Ugh, I hope she didn't show you those baby pictures," he groaned. His mom was way too proud of him sometimes. "I was such a fat baby."
Aldon laughed. "Were you?!" Now he HAD to get his hands on baby pictures! He couldn't imagine a fat Ryland! Even a fat baby, although chubby babies were adorable. Chubby adults... not always. Sometimes, but not always, and especially not when the clothes came off. So sue him, he was shallow!
"You're a cute baby now, though," he purred, cozying up to Ryland in a very obvious way. One of his legs slipped over Ryland's and he plastered another post-it note onto Ryland's stomach, giving it a little tummy rub too. "You're my cute baby~" Aldon kissed his jaw and then nuzzled him, feeling good--amorous, but not in a sexual way.
He was just... happy.
Happy and maybe also sleepy, since he'd had an extraordinarily long day. Aldon sighed, letting his eyes drift slowly closed. "Can I nap here? For a couple of hours?" He nuzzled Ryland again. Later... he'd have to go home, but not yet. Not just yet.
"No!" he vehemently denied the fact that he was a fat little baby--but it was true and he knew Aldon knew it was true just by the sheer vehemence in Ryland's voice. It gave him away. Aldon was laughing, though, and he could only imagine what kind of face Aldon might make if he actually saw the baby pictures. Weren't all babies fat, though? Chubby babies were cute! At least... that's what his mother said but she was so proud of him that anything he did was probably "cute" to her. As a child, anyway.
"I was a cute baby then, too!" he protested as Aldon drew closer to him, bringing with him his warmth and weight. Ryland curled against him, comforted by his presence and the familiarity of lying beside him in bed. Even if the walls were new, the bed wasn't and the person with him wasn't. Gently and affectionately, he ruffled Aldon's hair before kissing the top of his nose just because it was within reach of his lips.
"Yes." Stay as long as you want. Ryland didn't want to get up, either. He felt comfortable right where he was. Comfortable and right. He smiled at Aldon and rubbed his nose against his--again, because he could. His voice was soft when he spoke again. "I'm glad you're here, Ald."
"Hm... I'm glad I'm here too." He didn't say it--that he almost didn't come. That when he brushed his hand against Gregg's back at the apartment, he wanted to do so much more. Like pull him down. Kiss him. Reassure himself that Gregg was real, solid, there with him--with him not only in the physical sense but also on his side.
But Aldon was glad he did come. He was happy that he had made up with Ryland, and that it was the two of them curled up together in the same bed, on a nest of post-its. Somehow it felt right. Their quirky love nest was right. It wasn't perfect by any means--no rose petals, no dim lights and soft music and champagne, but it was them. That was all Aldon needed--them.
Sighing, he nuzzled Ryland back, nose tip to nose tip. His eyes drifted closed slowly, flickering to get a few last glimpses of Ryland. He smiled. "Love you, Ry."