Blood!
Staggering crazily through someone's back yard, all the world was shades of black and white and gray. Adrian fell heavily over a garbage can and crashed to the ground, amid the clamor of plastic bags falling out and the can tipping over. He grunted softly, picked himself up and continued at a determined half-trot. He had to get out.
He had to get out of this area, before he lost full control.
Stupidly, he thought that he could withstand the urges for one more night. It had been a long while since he last fed but with the chaos of everything happening at once--the rumors of witches selling dangerous potions, the feud between werewolves and vampires starting in earnest--it had been difficult to find time to go out of town. Adrian thought... one more day couldn't hurt. One more hunt, and then he could take himself out into the woods and catch something to temporarily sate the hunger.
He knew it was a bad idea once darkness fell, and the craving for blood became unbearable. It was like an unscratcheable itch, deep down inside. He felt like he hadn't eaten in months; he was ravenous, raving, maddened by bloodlust. There were so many people in this neighborhood. He could... he could break into any house and find a warm human to sink his teeth into.
With an anguished groan, Adrian reached the end of the street. Rounding a corner, he cannoned violently into someone and went sprawling with them in a heap of arms and legs.
Blood
He scented it. He felt it, heard the pulse of it racing through veins and arteries. It was like a primal beat, resonating, drumming rhythmically in his ears. Panting hard, Adrian tried to shove the man away from him, even as his fingertips dug hard into the man's arms. "Get-get away!"
The dirty little corner market sold food for cats and in a pinch, it was a good place to go. In this case, Ivy was in a pinch. His kittens, who were no longer on formula, had run out of canned wet food. Their teeth weren't quite developed enough to crunch up the hard food but they absolutely loved the wet food, particularly the smelly gravy that came in them. They'd all fight for that to the point that Ivy had begun halving the cans so that they could eat in two uneven groups.
The canned food in the little liquor store was a little overpriced but that was pretty much how it went with dinky stores that needed a little extra profit. Ivy perused the various flavors, only to find that the selection was limited to either chicken or salmon. Why not both? He bought several cans of both and brought them up front, where he made the transaction, bagged the cans, and then started back up the street. Winding through the dark neighborhood streets, he smiled as he appreciated the light breeze in the air.
What was that?
Somewhere close by, he heard a strange sound, something like a wounded animal, maybe? Immediately, his heart went out to the creature and his steps faltered. Where was it coming from? Maybe it was a dog. It sounded too large to be a cat. Even dogs could be enticed by cat food, though. He was just reaching into the bag as he made it to the street corner when a shadowy figure slammed into him, full force. Ivy had only enough time to realize it was a person shaped thing and not an animal before he hit the ground.
The cans went flying, scattering across the asphalt of the street with a hollow, metallic sound as they bounced and rolled around. Oh, he hoped they were mostly undamaged... A little dent wouldn't hurt them but...
"Ah..." He made a slight sound of discomfort as he propped himself up and tried to sit up. His elbow had taken a pretty hard hit, skidding against the sidewalk when he'd fallen. When he reached over to touch it, he could feel it--warm, wet, blood between his fingers. He'd scraped it pretty badly. But that was the least of his concern. The man that ran into him was pushing him away but at the same time, holding tightly to his arm. So tightly, in fact, that Ivy could feel his fingernails biting into his flesh.
"I'm sorry," he gasped, since a little of the wind had been knocked from him. He tried to slide away, per the man's request. He was probably a night jogger and he probably wasn't too happy about banging into a dummy like him, stopping for an animal the way he did. "If you would just let go..."
Adrian let out a sound that was almost not human, as he doubled over. His hands slid off of the man and dimly he recognized pain in the voice.
This man wasn't a vampire, though.
He shouldn't be here.
"Go," Adrian gasped and it took almost every bit of strength in him to get the word out. The call of blood was too strong; it threatened to overwhelm him. Even a single drop was one drop too many and he didn't know how long he could hold out. He didn't want to hurt innocent people--humans or otherwise. He wasn't... wasn't a monster. There was still humanity left in him and he clung to that with feverish desperation, telling himself that he wasn't like them. He couldn't let an innocent man come to harm.
"Agh--!"
The blood.
The blood the blood the blood blood blood.
The scent of it in the air enveloped him like a temptress' embrace. It sang out to him, cloying, sweet, smothering all of his senses. Adrian lowered his head and in desperation bit into his own forearm just to stop himself from lunging at the man. His sharp, long canines broke the skin... but nothing oozed out. His blood congealed in his veins, useless in a body that had long since died.
Something here was wrong. When two people rammed into each other, they exchanged apologies, made sure they were each doing fine, and then they went their separate ways. Sometimes, they might even talk and become friends. Ivy was a firm believer in this; he made friends just about anywhere he went. He might be fresh blood here in Hazleton but he was bound and determined to get to know everybody in the small town. Maybe... it might even lead to answers about his real parents one day! Wouldn't that be an amazing side effect.
Truthfully, he knew that was why his adoptive parents told him about Hazleton and urged him to go. So when he got the job as an art teacher for young children in the small town, he'd eagerly taken it with arms wide open. Yet he didn't go out of his way to search for his biological parents. They must have had their reasons for letting him go and while it sometimes confused and saddened him as a child, he had grown up with wonderful, loving adoptive parents that would do just about anything for him.
Besides, they sent him with his big brother, Elliot. Another adopted child, just like him. Maybe Elliot's parents were here. Elliot was more the investigator in the family so he was the one who spent countless hours scouring the streets and meeting new people to learn his history.
Was this man one of them, perhaps? He most certainly was a citizen of Hazleton, just as surely as he was, even if he was new just like Ivy. Never having come across this particular citizen, Ivy couldn't help wishing it happened under better circumstances. He could barely even get a look at his features, especially since the man seemed to curl up inside of himself as he made some kind of pained or ill sound. Of course, it sent an immediate spike of concern through Ivy and he was on his feet, moving toward him, despite being told to go. How could he go when something seemed off about the man? What if he broke something in the fall? Ivy tried not to think too much about the bleeding; he was a hemophiliac so the bleeding wouldn't stop until he took his medication but at the moment, the man in front of him was more important.
With one hand on his own elbow to stem the bleeding as best he could, he reached out with the other to gently touch the man's shoulder. The touch was tentative, knowing that some people preferred their personal space. It was more a gesture to get him to look up, a gesture to ask permission.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "Do you need help? I live just around this corner and I can patch you up..."
It was hard to tell in the weak light of the streetlamp overhead how injured the other man was but he sure seemed like he wasn't doing well, the way he seemed to shiver and hide himself. Oh no! What if he was previously wounded and something happened during the fall to make it worse?
"No!" A firmer and more desperate outburst this time, accompanied by a violent flinch at the other man's touch. It might as well have burned him, for how quickly he tried to shrug off the hand. Adrian could almost taste the blood in the air and the scent only grew stronger as the man leaned in closer.
He debated doing something. Something terrible, something inhuman. It would have been easy. Temptation hovered in front of him, touching him with a gentle hand.
NO!
Adrian was not a monster. He wasn't a monster. But maybe if this man thought he was, he would finally take the hint and run. He could have been a hunter, but at the moment Adrian didn't care. All the better that it was a hunter, to stop him before he... Before he fed off of an innocent man.
"I'm--a vampire," he gasped out loud, trying to push the other man away with a shaking hand. "Your blood... Run..."
"Ah..."
How badly had he been hurt? Ivy was sure that his touch caused pain because of the violent reaction. There was a wound! He must have touched it, no matter how light or delicate his approach had been. The man reminded Ivy so much of a lost, abandoned animal in pain, with nowhere to turn to and no real capacity to reason. All he was doing was lashing out, reacting to what happened while chaos clouded his mind. Chaos, pain, fear. Something. All of it, even. Of course, all that only made Ivy want to help even more.
"Oh?"
His blink was surprised, quick. The words were unexpected. A vampire. Yet it was dark outside and that was when the vampires roamed. This one seemed wild-eyed in the darkness, perhaps starving. Ivy swallowed hard. There was no way he could just stand up and move on, leaving the man out here to keep stumbling about blindly. If he didn't hurt himself, he was going to hurt somebody else. Ivy was the unfortunate soul he'd run into but Ivy could take care of himself better than a human without any idea of what was coming at them. Ivy, at least, knew about vampires. He was sure he could handle the situation.
"That's fine," he said, crouching beside him and cocking his head to the side to get a better look at him. Kind of hard to do even from this angle because the vampire was desperately trying to hide his face. "Come home with me," he said, trying to put a hand out to him to take. "Maybe I can help."
What?
He thought the man said...
But it couldn't have been what he thought he heard. It couldn't. That was ludicrous, ridiculous. The word 'vampire' was enough to send anyone running for the hills and this man said that it was... fine? Adrian shook his head, no longer certain if he was hearing what he wanted to hear, or if he was going crazy in his bloodlust. It couldn't have been what he thought. No one could be that self-sacrificing--or idiotic.
Because it was idiotic, to not run from him. It was foolish to hold out a hand, to look the way he did, full of sympathy, pity, concern. To offer help. Adrian breathed heavily, dazed and uncertain. He started to reach for the hand but his fingertips hovered mid-air. "No," he said again, agonized by the scent of blood still lingering in the air. "No, you... can't." His trembling fingertips pushed the outstretched hand away.
"Save yourself!"
It wasn't a good idea. He could just imagine his brother's voice echoing in his head, berating him for being a dolt and bringing home a "damned vampire!" It was bad enough that he had only been in Hazleton for all of what, almost four months now? And he'd already managed to get a job that had him bringing home handfuls of children's art, that he'd gone and decided to foster a litter of kittens, and that he took it upon himself to help every helpless person or creature he came upon. Bringing home a vampire--inviting it in--was a bad idea. Elliot would tell him that if he was here and he knew it.
But if it were Elliot, would he not want help? That was the problem, he thought. People didn't think enough about the other person. It was always about what was in it for themselves. Somehow, Ivy never got that memo growing up. He'd always been the type to worry his brother, to constantly give away his own meals to other people. Elliot said people took advantage of him but the way Ivy saw it, he was helping. Most people, in the end, wanted that hand to stretch out toward them. He thought the vampire did too, the way he nearly took his hand. Their fingertips just missed... and then his hand was smacked away.
Ivy blinked.
Save... himself? From what? Even vampires were capable of not killing people. It wasn't his fault that he was hungry. Surely he hadn't done this to himself. And if he was so hungry, it probably meant he had been holding back, trying not to bite anybody. Slowly, Ivy dropped down to his knee, perching on one heel as he regarded the vampire and tried to get a better look at him in the dark. He didn't have the super human traits that vampires had, so all he saw was a hunched over man. Nothing that scared him. In his other hand, his elbow still bled through his sweater and he held it tighter for a moment before looking down at it. At this point, some of it had slipped between his fingers and dripped onto the pavement near his feet.
Now it was that hand he held out, not really thinking about how close it was to holding a steak before a starved dog.
"Then... take some. Please. You're going to hurt somebody if you keep going like this."
A fool. What a fool. Adrian cursed himself and he cursed this man. He curled up tighter, as though that could form the necessary barrier between him and his would-be savior. It was... almost too much to bear, to control his ravenous desire for blood. It was even closer now; he could almost taste it.
"Please..." His voice was a frightened whisper. His hands, claws, dug deeply into his own face as he buried it between his fingers, letting out a tortured noise half-way between man and animal. "I'm not a monster." The words dragged out sluggishly, in the voice of an inebriated man. He slurred them, feeling his breaths stuttering in his constricted throat, heart beats coming to a near-stop in his chest. He needed the blood to keep it beating, but need and desire warred with one another deep inside of Adrian.
Suddenly, he lunged. But it wasn't to sink his teeth into the man's soft, unprotected throat. Adrian clung to him, his face mere centimeters away. "Don't make me--" He choked and grasped the man tighter. "I'm not a monster." The manic words burned as hotly as his eyes, with their fading night vision, staring hard through the darkness. "I'm not a monster. Don't make me... do this."
Blood.
The blood. It was so close. Dripping, slipping, sliding, seeping. The blood, it sang the song of temptation like a Siren's call, and Adrian was so... weak. So tired of fighting his monstrous side. So weary of the lonely, never-ending fight to stop himself from hurting others. He didn't want to be a monster. He was a man of God in another life; he served the divine, the holy, all that was pure and good in the world. That he had fallen so far as to become the worst of parasites was a stain on his soul.
The blood.
He could taste it.
He did taste it.
It was dripping, slipping, sliding, seeping down his throat, as he let out a noise half-way between a sob and a howl, of triumph and despair.
"Whoa!"
He almost fell over backwards as the vampire man suddenly came at him. He blinked owlishly as he waited for it, for teeth to sink into him. But he didn't bury his teeth against his skin. Instead, he stared at him with a wild look in his eyes. Had he... perhaps made a mistake? No. He didn't look like a crazy person. Just... desperate, perhaps. Did he have no alternative, no... what did they call them? Ghouls? Did he not have such a thing? Not many people willingly let themselves fall prey to vampires, he was sure.
"You're not a monster."
Would it still satiate him? His blood? Ivy didn't know if it mattered that he had a blood disorder or that he was a witch. Did it make any difference to a vampire? Honestly, he had no idea, having few associations with vampires in the past. Ivy kept to himself for the most part and he only connected with his past and his abilities upon arriving in Hazleton and finding a mentor.
Before that...
A sound rose up in his throat and he grasped at the vampire's shoulder as his other knee hit the pavement. Part of him didn't really think it would happen. Or maybe he thought somehow that the blood in his hand would be enough. The bite only hurt for a few seconds, like a needle piercing the skin. Then it was something else. Rather than the residual sting of a needle, it was something else, warm, blooming from the teeth to the rest of his body. His heart beat faster as he took in a breath, letting his head rest against the vampire's. He was starting to feel light-headed and his vision blurred momentarily.
"Sss... I..." He didn't know what he was trying to say. His hand briefly tightened, fingers grasping at the cloth of the man's shirt before he reached up with both hands to take the man's face in his hands, forehead against his forehead, nose brushing his nose, as intimately as lovers. "You... you're not a monster right...?"
As the blood poured in, Adrian's heart roared to life. Even the sound of thunder and lightning couldn't drown out the thud of his revived heart. Suddenly, all was clear again. He snapped back to the present and sharply jerked his head back, away, with a shocked gasp.
"...I'm..."
A monster.
Adrian knew without having to look or check that he had taken too much. He had gorged and glutted on this man's blood, swelling his own veins and arteries with borrowed time. It didn't take all that long; it never did. Time seemed to have no meaning while he fed and only after, faced with the aftermath, did he realize his sins. Except this time it wasn't an innocent deer that he was bent over, it was a human. A man.
He closed his eyes as hands slid over his face, feeling something warm sliding down his cheeks. Rain. It had started to rain, pelting down on them in great fat watery droplets. Adrian could still taste it--blood. He smelled it in the air, all around them, and felt it on his fingertips as he raised a hand to staunch the flow from the man's throat.
"I'm not a monster," he whispered, feeling the weak pulse with his fingers. The dying pulse that ebbed and faded with each passing second. He didn't drain this man dry but he didn't need to in order to kill him. It didn't take much to kill a man. Adrian pulled him close with a horrible tightness in his throat and chest, cradling him as the storm swept in towards them, as if he could protect him from the elements.
"I'm not a monster," he repeated in an even fainter voice, tightening his grasp. He wanted to believe it so badly. So, so badly. He wasn't a monster. It was the hunger, the bloodlust, the horrible, all-consuming need for blood. Like every living thing, he wanted to survive and at his most desperate moment, help arrived. But why did he have to trade one life for another?
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."
"N-no..."
His voice was lost mostly in the thunder and rain. He could feel the spatter of the raindrops on his face, in his hair. When he blinked, water entered his eye. The would-be innocent scrape on his elbow wouldn't stop bleeding. The new wound in his throat, too, seemed to keep bleeding, even with a hand pressed against it. Strange, how even as his heartbeat slowed and stuttered, he didn't feel fear. More accurately, he felt strangely at peace, as if he knew from the beginning that his death would serve to aid somebody else.
He wanted to say more but his thoughts would not order themselves. They were scattered and he almost imagined they were flying away with the wind around them. His eyes fluttered closed--he felt so tired--he tried to open them but they felt heavier with every passing second. Every time he blinked, he saw the world twirling around them, the sky above raining upon the two of them.
"...cats," he said, absurdly. The cat food scattered too. Just like his thoughts. Then he corrected himself with: "Kittens."
Somebody was going to meet him. Two kittens already accounted for, one by Rune and the other by the person on the phone. Another heavy blink and the world went fuzzy again. Everything sounded distant, like he was hearing it on a television in another apartment. It was all muffled--the rain on the ground, the thunder, the sound of the man apologizing. There were words, more words he wanted to say but then the light-headed feeling became more pronounced and he had to close his eyes to stop it.
It didn't stop.
It didn't stop for what felt like a long time and then he drew in another soft breath before exhaling and passing out.
Cats and kittens.
The ramblings of a dying man.
Adrian tried to stem the flow of blood but nothing he did worked. Even when he applied pressure to the area, a trickle of blood still persisted. Time was running out for this man and Adrian could do nothing for him.
Stifled horror rose up, mounting into intense panic as he glanced wildly around. As though help of some kind would be around the corner, Adrian kept looking but nothing appeared. His hand shook as hard as the wailing trees around them as he brought the man's head up, only to discover that he had passed out. And he was still bleeding, from the puncture wound in his neck and from the elbow. Adrian's breaths caught in his throat. His exhalations were stuttered as, in a state of shock, his brain sluggishly sought a solution to his current unfortunate predicament.
There was one sure way to revive him, though. The only way a vampire could revive an innocent victim...
Adrian didn't know what was worse: death or becoming undead. Did this man wish to die? His actions, though foolish, didn't seem suicidal. There were ones who idolized vampires and who wanted to become like them. This man didn't seem like that type.
But he was dying, and time was running out.
"...forgive me..."
He couldn't let this man die. Whatever happened, he couldn't let him die. Adrian brought his own wrist up to his mouth; the long, sharp fangs made a thin cut along it. Then he brought it down, dripping blood--the man's own blood in Adrian's body, now tainted--and guided it to the man's lips. Only a little was needed. Only a few drops to spread the infection to his body, turning him. "God... please forgive me."
But he couldn't stand the thought of killing an innocent man.
Nothing.
Ivy went from nothing--to a peaceful blankness to...
The scent of iron. To the feel of cold. Wet. Rain. His eyes fluttered open, then winced closed as rain drops hit him in the left eye. He turned his head, taking in a deep, deep breath that didn't feel quite right. He tried to sit up but he found that he was being cradled against somebody else. Confusion crossed his face as he looked into the gaze of a semi-familiar face that looked far sharper and closer and more in focus than he could ever remember seeing anything.
Something tasted wrong, too. He coughed and raised a hand to his face, to his lips. He tasted... pennies. Blood. His hand was still smudged in blood in some places but the rain had run off with most of it. The blood on his hand... Flashes of memory finally flitted through his mind--the sudden appearance of a man--no, a vampire. Dropping his things. Being bitten... After that, nothing really came up.
"Wh... what happened?" He still felt like he was far, far away and it was taking him time to come back to himself. For some reason, he felt more tired than he'd ever felt but at the same time, he felt... something else. Something similar to hunger.
Thank God. Thank God that he began to move again, showing faint but definite signs of life. Adrian let out a soft noise of relief and held him closer, briefly burying his face against the man's shoulder. "Thank God," he murmured. The relief was so profound that he almost laughed aloud--and at the same time he wanted to weep, knowing that he had doomed another man to the same fate. But he couldn't be sorry that he saved his life... even as he had damned it.
"You're all right," Adrian murmured soothingly as he pulled back. His fingertips tenderly brushed aside some wet strands of hair, with a mother's sense of care and attention. "You're all right. I'll take care of you."
This was his... fledgling, the others called it. His child, although Adrian didn't like to think of it in that sense. Children were innocent; they came into the world without sin. It wasn't exactly a fitting name for one whose soul was now corrupt in the eyes of God. Slowly, Adrian shifted so that he could raise them both to their feet. With the fresh blood surging through his veins, he felt strong and revitalized. He felt euphoric. There was a heady sort of rush, like a large burst of adrenaline, that made his heart race and his pulse quicken.
"Let's get out of the storm." Adrian's arms were around him, holding him firmly and securely.
His gaze tracked the man's fingertips as he reached up to brush aside hair that had fallen into his face. What happened? Being told he would be taken care of instinctively made him feel protected and safer but at the same time... Take care of him? Why? Ivy was accustomed to being the one who cared for everybody else. It was a strange new position to be in, having to be taken care of by somebody else. Weak protestations rose up but they were bare whispers against nothing. Unable to find his voice or the words to say he would be fine, he instead laid his head back against the man's shoulder for a long moment.
Everything felt strange, new, and wrong. Yet he could not yet put his finger on why that was. All he knew was that he felt weak and shaky and a little sick. Something seemed to be happening inside of his body that he couldn't define. Maybe he should have gone to medical school, the way his brother did. That might have been handy right now. A lot handier than teaching children and growing plants and taking care of kittens.
But he liked shouldering multiple tasks like that. He liked keeping busy.
His arm, formerly limp against the man's shoulder, moved and he held onto that shoulder as the man stood, raising the two of them together.
"My... I live just a couple of blocks down this way," he said, lifting a trembling hand in the direction he had been heading in before... this.
"All right," Adrian said simply, moving carefully in the direction that he was bidden. The flash storm was intensifying. Thunder and lightning crashed and flashed up above and Adrian couldn't help but wonder: was it a sign? A sign that he had committed the greater of two sins? There was nothing worse than killing a man but... to doom him to everlasting life...
Guilt crippled him but he kept moving, navigating them out of the storm and into the man's home. At the entryway he sought for the light switch and flicked it on. They were both saturated, like drowned rats, and water pooled on the floor but at least the storm was outside, and they were safe here inside. With a low sigh, Adrian glanced around, searching for the bathroom. A hot shower, that was what they each needed, although he didn't know if he ought to leave this man alone just yet.
The moments right after the change were... difficult.
"You like plants," he remarked, as though some off-hand casual observation could restore both their lives to normality. The abundance of greenery around the place could hardly be missed, though. Almost belatedly, he asked, "How do you feel?"
Shock.
He thought that was what it must be.
The entire way home, Ivy was quiet, shaky, and uncertain. Something happened. Something big. Something huge and even he was afraid. It wasn't that Ivy was fearless; merely that usually he was calm and composed and hard to rattle. It took him time to let things sink in, and because of that, when things happened quickly, instead of startling, it took his poor little brain a few more seconds to really soak in what happened. But even as they walked, he couldn't think. All he could focus was on the beat of water against the shallow puddles they walked through.
He was so cold.
He couldn't remember the last time he felt this cold.
And all the while, beside him, he could hear the man's heartbeat. So fast, so strong, so flush with life. His head swam as they stepped through the door into his apartment and he braced himself against the door. Head still spinning, he took in a breath but it felt strange. Like he couldn't catch enough air. Out of pure habit, he slid his shoes off and straightened up. His hand went to the side of his throat.
"They're like my..." Ivy trailed off at the sound of tiny paws on the wooden floor and the high pitched cry of kittens as they rounded the corner around the couch to greet them. For some reason, however, they stopped short of the both of them... and started to hiss. Their hair stood on end and they all backed away. Ivy stared down at them, perplexed.
"What is it?" he asked, starting forward, only for the kittens to skitter away from him in terror. "I've never seen them act like this!"
"Don't... worry about them for now," Adrian said placatingly, pulling on his arm to get him back and away from the kittens. Animals were notoriously skittish around vampires. Probably because they, like all living things, could sense the great evil that emanated from the undead. Adrian's grasp tightened around the man's arm, briefly.
"There's a lot I have to tell you but before that, we should get out of these wet clothes." And maybe stop flooding the entryway. Adrian gently toed off his shoes and nudged them onto the doormat, where they could drip without fear of adding to the growing puddle surrounding them. It was highly unpleasant to be wet from head to toe--but far more unpleasant was the confession to come.
Adrian tried to steer him into the apartment. The kittens scrambled further away, hiding beneath the couch, skittering to be out of their way; their tiny, rapidly fluttering pulses marked their positions. "Some tea, I think, will help warm us." At least physically, though nothing could remove the chill deep down inside--the chill of death, of a soul removed.
"But I..."
How could he not worry about them? It wasn't just the other man. The kittens seemed just as afraid of Ivy as they were of the stranger. That didn't settle well with him. Slowly, he raised a hand to the side of his head, wondering if he was concussed or dreaming. It didn't seem like it was all really happening. Everything felt so surreal. Even the way he saw things seemed sharper, clearer, and it hurt his head trying to wrap his mind around it.
And was it just him or could he hear them? The kittens? Not their soft growls and hisses--of course he could hear that--but their little heartbeats?
It felt...
wrong.
"Tea," he said, grasping onto the first thing that made sense. Tea. Ah, and getting out of wet clothes. Of course. He looked down at the way his clothes were unpleasantly gripping his body from head to toe.
"I can make the tea," he said. For once in his entire life, the sound of tea didn't sound as appetizing as it always had before. "You should get in the bath. I'll find you some dry clothes."
"I--ah..." He was about to suggest that they bathe together, but it sounded lurid. Adrian didn't mean it in a suggestive way; rather, he wanted to keep a close eye on his new... fledgling. "I think you should bathe first. I'll dry off out here." It was only a little rain water. Not as if they would catch a cold, or fall prey to viruses and disease. Their eternal curse had, at the very least, that small consoling side-effect.
Somewhere behind him, he heard the skittering of little paws; the kittens were making their escape from the living room, undoubtedly to get as far away from them as possible. Not all animals behaved like these but it appeared that they had never been exposed to a vampire before. Undoubtedly whatever this man had been before, it was something gentler in nature--less of a monster.
Adrian rubbed the back of his neck lightly, feeling the damp hair plastered against his skin. "Please, look after yourself first. I'll be all right." His voice was softer, gentler, as though he could make up for the violence earlier by speaking quietly.
"I... but I know where everything is. I can have it all ready for you when you get out."
This was true. And he could make them some good, healing tea that would help keep them from getting any colds or anything. An ounce of prevention, as they said. The man seemed pretty stubborn but Ivy could be just as stubborn! And he wanted to make sure that the man--the vampire...?--was comfortable before himself. He looked in the direction of the kittens and felt a terrible pain in his chest. Seeing them act like, so afraid of him... They felt it, too, didn't they? Whatever felt... wrong.
"And you," he said, feeling somewhat weak and faint even as he spoke, "didn't look so good out there."
True. Maybe whatever he had, Ivy caught. He bit me. Was that all it took? He supposed it could. He reached up to lightly apply his fingertips to the place where he'd been bitten. He half expected there to be nothing there but there was still a pretty nasty wound there... though it felt as if it might be healing. Maybe I can make a potion for it. He did it for hurt animals all the time.
"I'm much better... thanks to you."
Adrian moved forward as he spoke, reaching out to lightly grasp the man's wrist--the one upraised as he felt his neck. The bite mark was still there, two conspicuous holes, perfectly round and darkened with congealed blood at the edges. They were closing, but slowly. He would have to feed and to take in fresh blood in order for his body to completely repair itself.
But they weren't getting anywhere standing here arguing, and Adrian was, yes, stubborn in his own way. He peered into the man's eyes, holding his gaze. "You go first." It was more of a command this time, a directive aided by Adrian's powers of persuasion. He was older and more powerful (though his abilities paled in comparison to others', those who fed freely and grew powerful off of the blood of innocent humans). At the very least, he could talk this man into getting into the shower first and drying himself off.
"I will make tea." Adrian's lips curved briefly in a small smile. It was a strange thing to have someone be that adamant about taking care of him--a rare thing, but... nice. "Don't worry. Go."
"Ah."
He hadn't thought about it but... The man--vampire--had not been well until he fed. Now that he had fed... Ivy's gaze slowly slid over the hand that grasped his wrist and up to the soft eyes that watched him. There seemed to be more color in his cheeks now, though not much. After their eyes met, it seemed impossible to remove his gaze. For a long moment, he stared back at him, into his dark eyes. Although the words were far from romantic you go first, it still made Ivy feel... it made him feel strange.
"I'll go first," he said finally, echoing the words in a dreamy tone. "And you'll make tea."
For some reason, he was no longer fretting over whether the man would be able to find the kettle and the tea and everything he needed to make the appropriate tea. There were plenty of plants throughout the entire house. Swallowing hard, Ivy nodded. Go first. Bathe first. Don't worry. The second the man said go, he took a step back and then another, and then he turned and headed down the hall, now a man with a purpose.
It took him a moment for the fog to lift. When it did, he was standing in the middle of the bathroom, with the hot water running, the mirror steamed up, and his wet clothing draped over the towel rack. He looked down at and ran his hand over his cold, clammy arms. Then he approached the bath, turning off the water and stepping inside. He let out a hiss as the heat seemed too intense. Then he stepped in with the other foot and forced himself to sink into the hot water.
Admittedly, once he was completely bathed in it, it felt good. But he... he couldn't help feeling like there was more to worry about. Especially as he began to warm up and thaw out. He remembered there was a man in his house, tea. Blood. Vampire. Visions, memories began to flash through his mind and he raised a hand to press against his forehead.
Clean and warm, he got out of the bath and quickly dried off before grabbing his bathrobe, stepping into his slippers, and opening the door to the bathroom, half expecting nobody else to be in his apartment.
"Hello?" he called. "Are you still here...?"
It took Adrian a while to find everything--the teapot, cups. But the tea bags. No tea bags. Adrian stood in the middle of the immaculate kitchen, completely stumped. Surely, he thought, surely this man drank tea. He agreed to tea earlier and said that he would prepare some but all Adrian saw were herbs and plants. Nothing that resembled tea.
After a long moment of utter confusion, he put some water to boil on the stove, laid the cups out and resigned himself to looking stupid. He was no magician; he couldn't conjure tea out of nowhere. But he could remove some of his sopping wet clothes, laying them out neatly folded by the door so that he could take them on the way out. That left him in damp pants and a simple white t-shirt, also damp. Adrian didn't feel quite as good but at least he wasn't soggy.
For a few moments, he stood in the middle of the living room and studied his surroundings. Evidently, this man loved plants. Plants everywhere, as far as the eye could see. Adrian went over to inspect some of them but he could place no name to them. Most were leafy. Some were twiggy. Others, distinctly flowery. Curiosity got the better of him and he bent to sniff one--and was immediately repulsed by the odor that assailed his senses.
He sneezed just as a voice called out, and then sneezed again and quickly backed away from the plant. It looked innocent but... good Lord, the smell was something else altogether. Yet, it only seemed to release its scent once Adrian got near. He couldn't smell it from a pace away. "I'm--" Another sneeze. "I'm here! In the living room."
Sneezing.
Even without the man telling him where he was, Ivy could follow the sound of sneezes. He entered the living room with a perplexed expression on his face, then took in where the man stood. It was a special sort of plant, the kind that was hard to find and even harder to cultivate in a home. It had magical properties and it was said to reject those of the... vampire persuasion. Ivy had kept some in the apartment for spells that could ward off vampires or keep people safe... Then he walked right into one and even invited him into his home.
And let him bite him.
That couldn't hurt, though. It wasn't like the bite changed a person, really. That didn't explain the taste of blood in his mouth, though. There was a sort of dawning horror in the back of his mind that he firmly seemed to hold at bay so that he didn't have to look it in the face.
"I thought you might have left," he said, which was sorta silly since the man was still there. "Ah, so the shower is all yours now." He paused. "I'm... I'm Jude Iverson, by the way. But my friends just call me Ivy."
"Oh... no, I--" Adrian trailed off. He had so much to tell him. Ivy. Jude Iverson. It didn't take a genius to figure out where 'Ivy' came from, out of his name, and the plants were something of a dead giveaway. "I'm Adrian. Adrian Kwon," he offered, having a hard time looking Ivy in the eye.
Now seemed like the perfect time to talk about the vampire business but... He couldn't go through with it just yet. So instead, he said, a touch sheepishly, "I couldn't find the tea." As though on cue, the kettle began to hiss and whistle and Adrian turned quickly toward the kitchen to rescue the kettle from the stove.
"Ahh... maybe I wasn't looking in the right place..."
Adrian. Now he had a name to the face. Ivy smiled, although it didn't seem like Adrian was in any mood to return it, if the way he turned his gaze carefully away meant anything. Thinking back on it, even in the darkness out on the street, Adrian seemed pretty reluctant to look at him very long. Somewhat self conscious, Ivy pulled on his sleeves and then ran his hand over the back of his head, through his damp hair. Even after bathing, he felt... cooler than usual. Not like rad cool, either. But like... colder.
Something felt off, inside and out.
He was probably just tired and feeling unwell. (No probably about it--he definitely felt lethargic and not altogether healthy at the moment.) Blinking, he looked toward the kitchen as Adrian rushed to the whistling tea kettle. Couldn't find the tea? Ivy tilted his head slightly, then followed Adrian into the kitchen.
"It's ah... I make mine loose leaf...? Is that what they call it?"
Rather than the cheaper tea bags, he had his own collection in the pantry. He opened it up and pointed to a group of small tin canisters that were lined up along the side of one shelf.
"Do you have a preference?"
"Oh! I thought those were..." Actually he didn't know what they were, and he didn't want to touch them in case they were for some other purpose. Witches, for example, typically used dried herbs for potions. Or chefs used them for flavoring dishes. Adrian didn't want to take some of what he thought to be tea, only to discover he'd been steeping oregano or thyme in the pot all along.
He smiled at his own mistake and ducked his head. For all of his insistence that he could handle everything, he wasn't doing a very good job of it, was he?
"Do you have Oolong?" He moved forward and stood beside Ivy, inspecting the array of canisters. It appeared that he had quite the selection and Adrian studied the labels on them while steadfastly avoiding looking at Ivy.
Maybe it was impertinent, but... He really thought that Ivy was one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. Having never believed in the concept of love at first sight, Adrian didn't know what label to apply to the quickening of his pulse or the way that he felt towards a virtual stranger--albeit one who saved his life.
Guilt aside, he knew that he was attracted to Ivy but... it seemed inappropriate. Lurid, almost, because Ivy was now also his fledgling and his responsibility, not unlike a child. Adrian turned away, rubbing the side of his chilly arm with one hand. "After we make the tea... there's something I need to tell you, Ivy."
"Oh yes. Of course!" He ran his hand over the tins to look for the correct one, his gaze on Adrian but for a few seconds. It seemed he was looking over the labels to find it but Ivy was the first to grasp the tin and pull it out. He smiled at Adrian as he held it up, though it was difficult not to notice that Adrian had a hard time looking back at him. With some confusion, Ivy looked down at the tin instead, wondering if it was something he had done. He told me to leave. To run, to get away. Fighting the urge to touch his throat again, Ivy brought the oolong tin over to the counter so he could open it.
It didn't help that Adrian bodily turned away as he spoke, like whatever he needed to speak with Ivy about was not going to be a good thing. Swallowing was difficult but Ivy nodded. For some reason, he felt a deep sense of loss. There was no discernible reason for it--he just felt a profound and strong sense of it that briefly stung his eyes.
He realized it was anxiety. Fear of what Adrian had to tell him. Or perhaps a foreboding knowledge of what he might have to say and that still, soft voice in the back of his mind that he politely tried to quiet with a slight clearing of the throat.
"All right," he said. He looked up at Adrian and held out the tin. "Do you mind that it's loose?"
Every time that Ivy smiled at him, Adrian's heart gave a painful thump in response, until he couldn't help but avoid his face completely. Such an innocent and guileless smile shouldn't be directed at him. He felt like a monster, driven by hunger and base instinct to imperil an innocent, well-meaning bystander. All that Ivy wanted to do was to help him... and this was how Adrian repaid him.
"It's fine. Loose leaf is fine." Adrian's voice was a bare murmur. He turned back as he caught movement out of the corner of his eyes--just Ivy extending the tin to show him the tea. Anything would do, really. Their bodies no longer acquired warmth in the usual ways. Blood was the only way--fresh blood, warm blood--to briefly chase away the chill inside.
Slowly, almost against his will, his hand rose. He brushed away a damp strand of hair from the side of Ivy's face, drawn to him by the bond that had formed between them when they exchanged blood--Ivy's rushing through his veins, rejuvenating him and his own inside of Ivy's, poisoning him from the inside out. Adrian's fingertips trembled as they touched the side of Ivy's face, for nothing more than a second. But in that second his heart ached unbearably at the evil that he had committed.
Sharply, almost violently, Adrian pulled his hand down. "I'm sorry. I'll just go and dry off in the bathroom, if you don't mind." He took a step backwards and bumped into something--the table behind him. "I'll... be right back."
"Oh."
The word came out unbidden as a hand brushed away stray, damp strands of hair. Ivy watched him for a moment. Part of him thought it was a prelude to something else and he waited for it. Although Adrian was a stranger, Ivy still felt drawn to him. It was the way he looked when they'd met, it was the desperation and the fear, not for himself but for Ivy. Adrian seemed to him like a caring man but he also seemed... tormented. Something haunted him. Being a vampire? Ivy knew that it couldn't be easy and especially not for a man who appeared to be quite gentle in nature.
Ivy turned his head into the touch, not unlike a cat seeking more attention. However, Adrian seemed to regret his actions or perhaps the movement made him wary, because he stepped away abruptly. Ivy opened his mouth to speak but Adrian was apologizing and moving further away, even as Ivy's hand started to rise. But he dropped it, letting it fall against the tin to hold it while Adrian bumped into a nearby table in his bid to escape.
"I left some clothes for you," he said, still somewhat stunned by the events unfolding before him. He looked back down at the tin. At least he could have the tea finished and ready for Adrian when he came out.
"Thank you." He made his desperate escape from the kitchen, burning from shame and embarrassment. It didn't escape his notice that Ivy reacted to him. Ivy turned into his touch rather than away from it. Ivy's hand was on the way up into the air, as though to grasp on to him or to recall him. What Ivy felt was probably... some lingering effects from being charmed earlier. Adrian didn't dare to hope that Ivy felt the same way about him; that would be all too good to be true.
In the bathroom, he leaned against the sink with his head down. When he raised his head, his own image reflected back at him in the mirror. Those silly stories about vampires having no reflection in mirrors weren't true--nothing more than myth, stuff of tall tales. But the mirror, as they say, did not lie and the creature that looked back at him didn't look quite human. There were vestiges of humanity in there, but it was undeniable that a monster stared at him. At least... he wasn't completely lost. He could still make out something of his old human appearance. No doubt Ivy still saw himself as he was, completely human, earlier in the same mirror. He hadn't killed. He hadn't gone through what Adrian went through shortly after he was turned, and after his creator abandoned him.
Sighing, he put a hand to his face, knowing that the gnarled and dessicated hand with the dry, leathery skin stretched taut over knuckles and bones in the mirror was the same human one that he saw when he looked down. Adrian turned away from the mirror.
Sure enough, Ivy had left him a change of clothes on the towel rack and he changed into them while talking himself down from his panicked flight earlier. He shouldn't be so cowardly, he told himself. He shouldn't be shirking his duty. The truth had to come out eventually and he might as well get it over with, sooner rather than later.
Still, he loitered in the bathroom for a while before finally emerging, dressed in the warm and dry clothes that Ivy had left out for him. Adrian re-entered the kitchen with soft footsteps, standing in the doorway momentarily while Ivy's back was turned to him. He admired him, silently and secretly, before clearing his throat to announce his presence. "Thank you for the clothes... and the tea." Adrian saw the mugs steaming on the island. "Should we have a seat?" He reached to take both mugs, so that Ivy wouldn't have to carry them.
While he busied himself with tea, there was only so much left to do and Adrian was away in the bathroom for quite some time. That left Ivy alone with his thoughts, and he wasn't so sure that he wanted it. Normally, he found peace in the quiet of his apartment. Now, he felt almost suffocated. The kittens still were too skittish and afraid of him to see him and because of their reaction, Ivy was afraid to even seek out his familiar, who was also oddly quiet in the apartment. Normally, the bird called to him loudly when he came home but now there was no sound.
Realizing that he was shivering and shaking, he braced himself against the counter. He tried to remember to breathe. Adrian must have done something. He said they needed to speak. That made sense, but Ivy couldn't really find it himself to be angry or blame him for anything. Instead, he turned it inward. Somehow, he had to work harder. He had to... fight whatever was going on inside of his body.
He felt unwell. He felt cold. He felt strange. Slowly, he righted himself and looked down at the tea cups. The sound of another's footsteps resounded too loudly and he peered over to see Adrian entering. As if in a dream, he watched Adrian take the cups. Something about sitting down.
"Y-yes." He led Adrian over to the kitchen table. For a moment, he was silent before he looked up at Adrian. "What happened?"
Adrian cradled the mug of steaming hot tea between his hands, staring down at the dark liquid in the cup. What happened indeed? He swallowed.
"Earlier... I took your blood," he began slowly, and softly. His eyes wouldn't lift. Couldn't lift up to Ivy's innocent, sweet face. Adrian drank some of the tea just to have something to do but tasted only the bitterness of his own actions.
"I took too much. It would have killed you and I... I couldn't..." He couldn't let Ivy die.
"I... turned you." Finally his eyes lifted, the emotion in them refusing to be hidden or stemmed. Adrian took in a shuddering breath as his eyes burned and he bit down so hard on his lower lip that it hurt. Apologies felt inadequate. I'm sorry could never be enough to make up for what he had done to Ivy. Words tumbled from his lips in a hurry, a babble of a confession.
"I.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did and I know that I can never be forgiven. I don't deserve it but I hope that-that you will let me help you. I--" His voice faltered as the heat spilled over from behind his eyes, and he quickly hid his face in shame, shaking from the harrowing nature of his admission and almost shrinking into himself.
Adrian was sorry. He was more sorry about this than he had been about anything in his entire, miserable life.
Ivy nodded slightly. Yes, he knew the blood was taken. His hand slowly lifted, fingers lightly touching the spot where he'd been bitten. While it should have bled endlessly until he took his medicine, it appeared as though the wound had stopped bleeding. It was strange since he'd lived with the condition his entire life. He knew that it should have been... worse than it was. Some part of him must have known--deep down--what it was that Adrian was going to share with him. The reluctance to share it with him, the strange newly tender senses, the feeling that he was being overwhelmed by every sense...
I turned you.
He wanted to ask. What does that mean? Yet he knew what it meant. The confusion that crossed his face gave way to brief horror--he was turned. Turned. A vampire. His hand remained where it was, grip tightening against his own shoulder. He was... he was turned. He had heard legends of witches being turned. It wasn't... pretty. He swallowed hard. Those were tales, though. Meant to scare them away from vampires, he was sure.
In his haste to get back on his feet, he accidentally knocked over his own cup of tea. The leaves and liquid spilled out onto the white table but he paid it no heed. Instead, he came to Adrian's side and knelt beside him, his hand slipping over Adrian's back and over the back of his neck.
"Please..."
The tears that Adrian shed were not for himself; they weren't tears of self-pity.
He wept for Ivy, for his lost innocence and pure soul. He shed them knowing that what he had done was the gravest sin that any man could commit, that he had gone against God in doing what he did. He thought only of himself and of his own guilt when he turned Ivy, blinded by his own selfishness, by his cowardice.
And yet... even in his own darkest hour, Ivy still tried to comfort him. It made Adrian feel worse, that Ivy had rushed over to him, placing a gentle hand against his back, up against his neck. Adrian turned into him, blinded now by tears. His shaking, clumsy hands slid over Ivy's lovely face, cradling it like a precious treasure. "I'm so sorry," he choked, sweeping a thumb over one pale, cold cheek.
Once it must have been warm. Ivy's skin was fine and soft, his features noble in the radiant light of his compassion, but he felt so cold.
Tears were his ultimate weakness; as soon as people around him started tearing up, Ivy dissolved immediately. It wasn't that he started to cry along with them but it hurt his heart to see people in tears, even if the tears weren't coming from a sad place. Happy tears, frustrated tears, it didn't matter. Tears softened Ivy until his feelings were a wet paper bag in the rain. He ran his hand over Adrian's back, knowing words didn't always have a place. Sometimes, people just needed to let out their emotions in a wordless way.
"Please... don't be. You were just..." He tried to think of a delicate way to put it. "You were just trying to save my life."
True, he was doing it because he had nearly taken it. Ivy didn't know how he felt about that yet. He didn't even really feel himself dying. One moment he was just... everything was hazy. If that was death, it had been a sweet embrace and he might very well have preferred it. At the moment, he felt much like his old self, the same Ivy he had always been, albeit weaker, hungrier, and sicker. But he didn't feel like a monster. He leaned into Adrian's touch, part of him longing for warmth that wasn't quite there.
Was that what was missing? Warmth?
"Please..."
The chair clattered as Adrian rose to his feet abruptly. He had half a mind to run--to flee the scene of the crime, escaping Ivy's tenderness, his saintly ability to sympathize. Instead, Adrian reached for him and pulled him in. It was a jerky movement; their chests bumped together before Adrian brought him in close, cradling him as one would a delicate and precious newborn.
"I'm sorry." Those were the only words he seemed to be able to say; everything else was too difficult to force out between his ragged breaths. His contrition knew no bounds, but it wouldn't bring back Ivy's innocence. Feeling sorry couldn't make Ivy whole and human again. The only way to make up for what he did was to protect Ivy--if need be, from himself.
Even from a young age, Adrian had been responsible. Serious. His parents used to comment on how serious he was--like a little old man, they would say, laughing and smoothing down his hair fondly. They trusted him with everything, even the run of the house while they were away, despite the fact that Adrian wasn't even the oldest in the family. His siblings weren't irresponsible--they were like most kids their age--but he seemed to have been born with the shoulders to carry the weight of responsibility.
"I can help you... Please let me make up for this. I'm sorry, Ivy. I'm so sorry."
His eyes went wide and he stared at Adrian as he leap to his feet. For one wild second, Ivy was sure that he was going to run out of the room. Instead, Adrian took him in his arms and held him closely, lovingly. If things weren't as serious as they were, Ivy would have been flustered, flattered, maybe a little confused. As it was, he was instead, deeply saddened. Adrian really seemed to be swimming in his regrets but he'd only done what he could. Ivy didn't think he could do it, either--leave a person to die. And it was hardly his fault. Adrian did try to warn him. He tried to tell him to leave, he tried to tell him he was a vampire. Ivy was the one who invited him to bite him, to take his blood, his life.
Ivy didn't know what he was giving away when he said it. He still didn't fully comprehend what had been traded that night. But he felt awful for the poor man. How could anybody fault a man so driven mad by his own actions? Ivy slid his arms around him in turn, one around his waist, the other around the back of his shoulders. He closed his eyes. He could smell Adrian, the rain in his hair, on his clothes. He could smell blood, too. His own, Adrian's. Whatever made up Adrian's blood.
"Help me," he said softly. He had no idea what it meant to be a vampire. He had no idea what it meant for the rest of his life... or his unlife. What it meant for the kittens, for his familiar, for his magic. He had no idea.
"I will." There was a stronger note of resolve in his voice. Adrian held Ivy closer, more tightly, protectively. "I will save your soul." If it was the last thing that he did, he would save Ivy. It was his life's calling, to help those who couldn't help themselves, to save the poor, the lost and those led down the path of sin--even those who were so lost that they no longer believed they needed help for their damned souls.
Ivy wasn't beyond saving, though. Ivy was still pure and still capable of kindness. The consideration that he showed Adrian was proof positive of that. They just had to be careful, to ease Ivy into his new... lifestyle. Life still had to march on, and whether they wanted to or not, they had to march on with it.
Adrian closed his eyes briefly, resting his cheek against the side of Ivy's head briefly. "I will save you," he whispered again, softly, though firmly. Then he pulled back and found that he was able to smile again, albeit sadly, ruefully. 'I will protect you, Ivy." Adrian finally stepped back. He wasn't normally moved to spontaneous action in the heat of the moment--preferring to calmly assess the situation before acting--but he couldn't help the way that he felt or even acted. Ivy's actions moved him.
"Oh!" Only then realizing that a cup of tea had been spilt and was dripping onto the floor, Adrian scrambled to right the cup.
Save my soul... His eyes closed in peace. Something inside did itch slightly, but he ignored it. In the pit of his stomach, he felt hunger but it ran so deep that he couldn't remember ever feeling so empty inside, as if he hadn't eaten in days. That must have been the blood lust...? It didn't feel like a lust, though. It just felt like hunger--except it was a hunger no food would be able to satiate.
His eyes opened as Adrian slid his cheek against the side of his head and he held onto him for a long moment. He was reluctant as Adrian pulled away. The smile on his face broke a part of Ivy's heart; he seemed so sad. A deep sadness, the kind that couldn't be erased easily, not with a joke or any attempts to cheer him up. How long had it been? Ivy started to reach out for him but Adrian seemed more intent on cleaning up the mess he'd made with the tea.
"Ah. I'm sorry. I... I didn't see it."
He immediately turned and grabbed a paper towel to sop up the tea that had begun sliding across the white tabletop. While he wiped it up, he asked, "Is there a way to... do it? To save us?"
Us. Ivy was already counting himself among the ranks of the undead and Adrian couldn't help the way that his hand stopped abruptly. He took in a deep breath. "Yes. If you believe. If you have faith."
Slowly, he reached over and slid his hand over Ivy's. His thumb gently stroked over the back of Ivy's hand. "I'll find a way." There had to be a way; Adrian couldn't afford to believe otherwise. His faith in God was the only thing that kept him human--that kept his mirror image still recognizable as being once human. After giving Ivy's hand a soft squeeze, he returned to cleaning up the table and the floor, where some tea had dripped.
"Are you... hungry?" Adrian was on the floor with paper towels, soaking up the spilled tea. He looked up at Ivy with concern creasing his brow. "Please let me know if you are. You shouldn't ignore it... Like I did."
"Ah. I'm... I..."
He felt... shaky. Unsure. He felt a little dizzy, too. Just because he'd been turned didn't necessarily mean that he'd dodged the feelings that came with being drained. Adrian had been replenished (by nearly killing him, but he could forgive that). Meanwhile, Ivy felt so utterly bone tired that he could have just closed his eyes and... His eyes fluttered closed and he leaned to the side, just barely catching himself against the side of the table.
"Yes..." He had to admit it, when the symptoms were staring them both in the face. He wanted so badly to hide it from him, to put a brave face on. Part of him could tell that there was regret in the poor man--vampire--and Ivy didn't want to add to that feeling.
"But I'm sure I'll be... fine." He paused, however. "What do you mean? Like you did? Is that... ah. I see."
He lowered his head before pulling out a chair and sitting before his knees could buckle. "I don't have to... I don't... want to..."
"Ivy!" Alarmed, Adrian quickly rose with hands outstretched to catch Ivy, who righted himself before he toppled over. With worry creasing his brow, Adrian ran a gentle hand over his hair. "It doesn't have to be... human," he said quietly, grazing Ivy's temple with his fingertips, running them down to his jaw and under his chin to tilt his head up a little. Adrian looked into his tired, wan face and his heart ached. Poor, poor Ivy. What had he done to him?
"It's better to have a little, before the hunger makes you--turns you into a monster." And Adrian knew now, all too well, what that was like. Not even he could resist the temptation for blood, although... it didn't exactly help to have it dancing before him, offering itself (literally) to him. But it wasn't Ivy's fault and he attributed blame only to himself, and his own lack of foresight. If he hadn't tried to hold out for so long, none of this would have happened.
Slowly, Adrian bent towards him. He was irresistibly drawn to Ivy, to the point where even he thought that his actions bordered on obscene. This was definitely not within his normal range of behavior but how could he help it, when Ivy was so beautiful? It wasn't merely his physical attractiveness that drew Adrian in. His soul was beautiful; Adrian had a first-hand glimpse of that throughout the evening.
Tenderly, he pressed his lips to Ivy's forehead. "I'll find you something to help take the edge off. Nothing human," Adrian repeated, glad that Ivy was stubbornly trying to resist, to cling to his humanity. That would be important in the days to come, when his willpower and resolve would be sorely tested. But Adrian would be there, by his side, to help him through it, that was already a given.
The dining area dimmed in and out of focus for a moment and he shivered again. Never in his life did he feel this cold. He didn't like it, but he was trying--trying so hard--to roll with the punches. That was how he always lived his life; going with the flow, relaxing into the waves that life sent him rather than fighting against them. Now seemed like the time to fight, though, and he shook his head out to try and dislodge his messy thoughts.
He felt a hand at his temple and then at his jaw and he tipped his head upward to look into the worried eyes of Adrian. This was almost a little funny. Usually it was Ivy who worried over others. Now he was the one worrying somebody else. He didn't laugh, though. His heart lurched in his chest. At least it still seemed to work, albeit in a weirdly slow, sluggish way.
As Adrian drew closer, Ivy inexplicably parted his lips. He didn't know why, exactly. Maybe he thought they were going to... kiss. But they didn't. His head tilted forward and a kiss was laid upon his forehead. Slowly, Ivy reached out to wrap his arms around Adrian.
"Please, I..." He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to harm anybody or anything. He didn't even eat that much meat--only as much as was necessary for his diet. And he never ate baby anything. It was against his principles! The thought of Adrian hunting some unknown prey to bring it back, to be eaten by him... or drunk by him... "Is there... there has to be a way to do it without... killing anybody or anything... right?"
"Of course. Of course there's a way," Adrian murmured by Ivy's temple, stroking his hair like a parent soothing a fretful child. A different kind of warmth was stealing over him, from the arms around him. Ivy needed him. He wasn't repulsed or angry and that was a little bit of a balm on Adrian's guilty soul.
His lips found their way to Ivy's temple, left a soft, tender kiss there. "I don't kill unless... unless it's necessary." Tonight being the notable exception, the break in routine. Adrian's arms slipped around Ivy's shoulders and he drew him closer.
"I promise, nothing else will die tonight. Not a human or an animal. I'll be careful." He eased his head back so that he could look Ivy in the eyes, to show him that he wasn't simply lying or saying things Ivy wanted to hear. "I promise. All right?"
There was a way. Relief filled him from head to toe. Nobody had to die. Nothing had to die. Just the thought of having to do something terrible to some helpless animal like the countless ones he'd been helping just didn't sit well with him. Somewhere in his bedroom, he could hear his bird, Lumi, making small noises. She was probably wondering what was going on, why he hadn't come to see her, why he hadn't gone to feed her treats after the kittens were fat and content. The kittens were still all scattered and hiding and every now and again, Ivy heard one of them hiss or growl.
His heart fell, thinking about them. Maybe he should lock them up. Maybe he should... somebody... he couldn't risk hurting them. His eyes met Adrian's and he felt a heavy mixture of concern and fear, dappled with hope. Nothing else would die. Adrian promised. There was no reason to fret. After a few seconds of searching Adrian's gaze, Ivy nodded.
"All right. I'll be back soon." He hated to leave a newly turned vampire alone but it had to be done. Adrian couldn't take Ivy with him--it would take twice as long and they might run into hunters. Hunters like... Adrian. He didn't think now was a good time to mention that, so he left well enough alone and straightened, gently extricating himself from Ivy.
As he turned, he spied a curious little face around a corner--a kitten, who hissed at him and promptly disappeared. Adrian smiled ruefully. "They've never seen a vampire before, have they? It takes them a while to get used to us." But eventually, he was sure, the animals would overcome their fright. Like anything, if treated with respect and kindness, they would soon respond in kind. (Although respect and cat sometimes didn't go hand-in-hand, simply based on the nature of the animal.)
"Keep the door locked while I'm gone, okay?"
"Ah, no... I don't suppose they have."
He saw the kitten dart behind a chair, the last thing he spotted was her fuzzy tail, all fanned out. Even he had to smile in the face of that, despite the frightening turn of events. If Adrian said they would grow used to them, he believed him. It soothed a worry in his heart. Adrian didn't look at the kitten like it was a walking chicken leg. In fact, he seemed to look at her with fondness, which soothed Ivy's heart even more. Slowly, he relaxed, not even aware of how tightly wound up he had been until just then.
Lightly, he ran a hand over his own chest, over his heart. It still seemed to beat, albeit much too slowly and strangely. Not what he was used to. Not liking what he felt there, he quickly dropped his hand to his lap instead.
"I... I will," he said, standing. He still felt a little faint and unwell but to lock the door, he had to get up and follow Adrian to it.
At the door, Adrian turned. Ivy looked unwell but the only cure was blood and for that, Adrian had to go out and hunt. He could have taken blood from the blood bank but once Ivy tasted human blood, it was difficult to 'make do' with animal. Best not to get him started down the wrong path, he thought.
"I'll be back soon," he repeated again reassuringly, cupping one of Ivy's cold cheeks. He told himself it was only to feel his temperature but he was lying; he only wanted to touch him again. Adrian felt himself leaning closer, though. A touch was so innocent, except that it prompted other, less innocent things. Like the kiss, a bare flutter of lips against Ivy's cheek.
"Thank you. You saved my life tonight." And Adrian would do everything within his power to preserve Ivy's. He smiled briefly, then turned to leave, before their proximity made it impossible to turn away.