Did you just send me a pic of a cucumber?
DUDE that's an eggplant! 🍆
Ok but...
Why?
I just needed somebody to share it with and you're the plant guy right?
Is that normal? Green eggplants?
Sure, it's normal. Although they don't usually get very large.
Can I eat it??
Of course. Just remember to wash it.
Like
Like RAW?
It's a myth, about the skin being poison.
But you can cook it if you like the taste better that way.
Personally I prefer my veggies raw though.
I don't believe it. I need to see you eat this thing raw!
Do I know you?
It's Marc! You know the computer guy who bought the little leafy thing but it started dying and I brought it back and I was freaking out and you were like it's just dry, not dead?
Oh and we met twice at the store!
Oh my world! I can't believe I forgot.
I'm sorry about that.
Anyway, I can show you it's okay to eat if you're really worried.
Where are you?
You remember! 😄
I'm home right now, I was trying to learn how to cook. And then this eggplant took over my whole life.
What exactly are you trying to cook?
Eggplant parmig
Parmaga
Uh
Italian food? The baked eggplant with cheese and tomato sauce that's kinda like lasagna but... eggplant.
Isn't that normally made with the regular aubergine?
What's... aubergine?
The recipe said eggplant parm why isn't it made with eggplants?!??
It's another word for eggplant. The dark purple/black ones!
WHAT
Do I have to go buy MORE eggplant?!
No, no.
I think we can make it work. :)
WHEW okay cause I bought a whole bunch of these green ones...
How do you know so much about veggies and stuff?
I work at the Botanical shop. :)
Well yeah but you don't sell veggies! Do you?
Of course! We sell everything!
Plant related.
Man... that must be cool, working around plants all the time. All the free air you get from them!
Are plants like your hobby too? Do you grow stuff?
I can grow anything you want! :)
Man! I wish I'd known you when I was a kid. See there was this patch out back at our trailer park that I tried to grow some beans in.
...I thought I was gonna be like Jack and the Beanstalk. Haha!
I could arrange for that. ;)
You what?
No way, that'd take 90 years to grow!
It would take a while. But not 90 years!
You're
Serious?
Actually serious? You can do it?!
Sure. I'm good with plants.
I promise.
🤯 Can you come to my apartment right now?!
Not RIGHT now but if you give me half an hour, sure.
Okay! Probably a good idea... cause I'm still in my PJs...
Not ready to face the world yet, eh?
I went shopping in them earlier... It's one of those days you know?
I'm not sure I could do the same. Always have to have my face on before I leave the house!
Put your face on?
Ohh like makeup?
Haha, yes!
I promise I'm not some scary faced monster.
You looked normal when I met you! How come you need to put on makeup though? You're good looking!
I don't need to. I like to.
Oooohhhhh
That's cool! It's cool if guys wear makeup, there's no laws against it!
Exactly. It's a great form of self expression!
Do you dress up too?
Yeah, sometimes. Why?
Just curious!
Don't you care if people stare or if they're rude? This town's a little... you know.
I used to but nah, not anymore.
:3 Good for you!
And if anybody bugs you, you can drop a beanstalk on their house haha
Nah I wouldn't do that. Revenge is so nasty.
Okay but the mental image is pretty funny!
...wait if you grow a big beanstalk it's not gonna crush MY apartment right?!
It depends on how close you want it. If it's coming out of your apartment, it's going to bust through the ceiling!
Uh
My boyfriend might not
Enjoy having a hole through the roof...
Is there somewhere we can go, like a field or something?
Haha! That would be ideal.
That abandoned park by the edge of town?
Oooh spooky.
Also yesss they have so many plants there!
Did you know dragonweed grows there?
It's so cool!
What's
Dragonweed??
It's really cool. It's a long vine with spiky, ridged leaves all up on one side, which is how it got its name.
Witches like to use it in some of their potions.
Oh those things! Yeah I've seen them. They move when you poke them! 😄
Yeah! But be careful with them. The edges of the leaves carry a potent neurotoxin.
Say what
They carry what?!
What happens if you touch the edge???
Neurotoxins.
They're toxins that effect neurons. Nerves. Your nervous system.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU TOUCH THE EDGE????
You will lose your mind.
There's another reason it's called dragonweed.
People who come in contact with it start thinking they're really a dragon and they start acting like one.
THANK GOD
I don't think I'm a dragon!
Yet?
You
You touched it?!
Yah
It's how I found out they move if you poke them!
With your bare hands?!
Yup! Poked it good!
I think you should get an antidote...
😶
Am I gonna die?
No, but you don't want to lose your memory, do you?
NO! what do I have to do?? How much time do I have left?!
Oh no, I'm scaring you.
I'm sorry.
It's actually
I have the things for the antidote right here!
Can I
Have some? D; I'll pay, money's no object!
Oh my, I wouldn't make you pay!
I don't want you to lose your mind over something you didn't know about!
That wouldn't be right, I can't just take it!
Do you need anything done? I do IT stuff, I can help you
Oh! You can help me build a website?
Everything these days is online. A brick and mortar store isn't what it used to be...
I can do that! I can build you a cool website!!
You can even choose how you want it made!
Good! We have a deal.
Now where are you so I can give you the antidote.
I'm home, I'll send you my address.
Are we still gonna try and grow a giant bean stalk though??
Of course. But let's deal with this first, okay?
Oh yeah
Yeah of course!
Just as long as we can do the beanstalk thing... some time.
But definitely getting un-poisoned first! And thanks a lot man. You're saving my life. Literally!
It won't kill you, but I'd hate to see you go crazy.
I'm glad most people don't hang out in that area but... It does happen.
Anyway! I'll be there ASAP! Don't go anywhere!
THANKS!!
Uh hey
Shouldn't we put up signs to warn other people...?
Oh yes! Definitely!
But leave that to me.
You don't have to do it all by yourself! I can like print out the signs and stuff and help you put them up.
What a good idea! Thank you!
:3 It's the least I could do!
Um
What do I put on them? Just... DO NOT TOUCH!!!!!! ?
Yes!
Wait... something else, too.
Some people might touch just to be contrary.
How about DANGER! Don't Touch?
Ooh what about
DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH!
POISON!!!!!!
Even better!
You're amazing at this!
Really?!
Naaah people always tell me I overreact heheh
This is the kind of thing you should overreact about!
That's what I'm thinking!
Other people underreact!! This is dangerous!
The signs should help.
I think I should go and try to clean it up if I can.
I have gloves! Do you need a pair?
Oh no, I have my own. But thank you!
Okay! I'll er... wait for you here at home!
Good. I'll be there soon.
(Closing this, let me know if you ever want to write Marc and the Beanstalk.)