We Are Bulletproof

Oh. Oh. Namgi watched the realization dawn on Marcus' face and he half smiled. Yeah. Frustrated, irritated, annoyed with the increasingly bratty kid who had first seemed cute and then started to really get to him. Meanwhile, he had such a close intimate relationship with the guy on the internet. Oh, they could tell one another anything. If only Namgi knew the two were one and the same. He had a feeling Marcus was kicking himself for it, too.

Not right this second, though. No, right this second, he was smiling like the sun shone just for him before leaping forward and throwing himself on Namgi and kissing him.

Well now. This was more like it. This was the kind of old fashioned romantic gesture that Namgi could definitely get behind. His smile grew before he kissed Marcus back, arms winding around him to keep him close. A couple of kisses later and a familiar pounding in the chest and a warmth flushed over his chest and up his neck. He couldn't stop smiling now, despite his usual "grumpy" demeanor. (So-called, thanks.)

"I think we were both... acting foolish," he admitted, his way of apologizing for how his actions had attributed to the misunderstandings between them.

This was true. Marcus had committed himself from the start. He didn't let the fact that they were supposedly in a long distance relationship stand in their way the way Namgi did. But then, Namgi had lived a lot longer than starry eyed Marcus. He had learned to build the wall around himself, to keep people from invading when he didn't want them to know anything about him. Rebuffing people was vastly easier than letting them in. Teaching them where his vital points and vulnerabilities were just seemed like a risk he was no longer so willing to take.

He couldn't tell Marcus that, though. Marcus didn't know how old he really was; he just assumed they were around the same age, that they had similar life experiences. Marcus didn't know that Namgi had been around the block several extra times in comparison to Marcus and it made him this way--jaded, unimpressed, a bit lacking in the hope department.

It was easy to forget all that when those starry eyes were on him, staring, searching, looking for... something. Namgi felt like he was doing the same: searching. He wondered if they were seeing the same things or what they saw reflected in one another's eyes. Namgi saw somebody willing to try. Somebody hopeful. Somebody naive, really. Namgi could have chewed him up and spat him out. It was hard to believe just how naive a person could really be but people managed to surprise him everyday.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, taking Marcus' chin in his hand. "Honestly... I think part of my frustration with you before I knew who you really were..." He laughed. "Well..."

Marcus was a perfectly acceptable name in Namgi's eyes. Marcus, Marc. At least he wasn't insisting he be called Marcy. That... was just too awkward and cringey now that he thought more about it. Namgi had always been Namgi, and it was rather an old fashioned name to go with an "old soul" like himself. Maybe over time, he should have changed his name. He was so accustomed to his old name that he wasn't sure he'd even respond to anything else. Maybe. Over time.

Silence seemed to overtake them as they finished up the dishes. There weren't that many, actually. Despite the way Namgi reacted when he entered, the place was merely a bachelor pad, it wasn't a total pigsty. At least, it wasn't as far as dirty dishes went. Switching off the tap, he turned to look at Marcus, who was now pressing against him and looking at him with a beseeching expression on his face.

"I didn't say that. I just meant getting a pet together means we're committed." And was that what they wanted? Both of them? Namgi wouldn't mind; he had time enough to explore this relationship further with Marcus. He just... he just assumed that after the hurt Marcus displayed that he was going to write Namgi off as a disloyal pervert. But he seemed to have no issues with being close to him.

"Do you want to commit to somebody you haven't really kissed yet?" he asked, tone teasing, although their faces were certainly close enough to remedy that problem. "Somebody you haven't been to bed with yet?"

"What's wrong with Marcus?" he asked with a brow slightly raised. He liked Marcus. Well the name. And the person, once he got past the fact that he had been absolutely driven mad by him as a co-worker. How had he not connected the dots earlier? It seemed as if Marcus had caught on much earlier and it made Namgi feel like a fool. He should have been able to see what Marcus did. What did that say about the two of them?

That we've lived very different lives. Marcus was looking for something deeper, something like love. Namgi wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. Originally, when he and Marcus hit it off, he thought they would just be another hit and run situation. Namgi had grown used to one night excursions. His body was young, his mind was still on the lewd side. He needed--wanted--sex and he enjoyed it, especially in this newfound world where he could do it without threat of being beaten by a tire iron when he left a club.

And Marcus was so young and naive. He had stars in his eyes when he talked about that something special. It was attractive but it was also... Namgi didn't know. Part of him wanted it. Part of him thought they weren't seeing eye to eye just yet on where they stood. Plus, although Namgi felt as if he'd done nothing wrong by sleeping with other men, looking Marcus in the eye was difficult now. It felt like he'd betrayed his trust somehow.

"A dog!" He looked over at Marcus, trying to gauge whether he was joking or not. "It's going to take a lot more convincing for that to happen..."

"Yes."

Wasn't it obvious? If they did plan to eat together here then they would need clean dishes to eat from. Or they could go out. Namgi was a homebody, though, although he did go out from time to time in order to find somebody to go home with. Or take home. And Marcus found out--didn't like it. Namgi mocked him for his antiquated views but really, he understood them, to an extent. As a child, Namgi had no choice. If he did, would he feel the same way Marcus did. Ah, the luxury of choice.

And surprisingly, it was Namgi that Marcus chose, even after all that had happened and everything he had learned. How did he not hate him by now? How was he not thoroughly disgusted?

"I wouldn't say I'm a neat freak. It's not some... compulsion. I just like to keep things tidy. Would that drive you crazy... Marcus? If we lived together?"

Walking through the quiet apartment, Namgi's expression remained with eyebrows upward. If one saw the way he lived, it would be apparent why he looked at it in such horror. Namgi lived almost in a Spartan-like way. Minimalistic, they called it these days. Everything he owned could be accounted for and he knew exactly where to find anything that made its way into his humble apartment.

This... this was unacceptable. Even to walk through it. After a moment, Namgi began to pick things up. Was it so hard for this cup to find its way to the sink to be washed or this piece of trash to make it to the rubbish bin? Really. It was exasperating. Namgi mostly found this was a young person thing. Young people thought their time was so precious that they didn't want to "waste" it on mundane things like cleaning. Having lived as long as he had, Namgi could no longer understand that mindset, despite having lived there once.

He was in the kitchen washing dishes when he finally heard the click of the front door.

"Finally," Namgi muttered to himself before he called: "I'm in the kitchen!"

Hm, or that's what you're blaming it on.

Is that your standard?

Wow.

Not what I expected.

You're still not here?

Yes, there was a work thing there but I forgot the number.

One more turn and I'll be there. Why?

It's an English children's book.

/dryly
Like James and the Giant Peach?

That actually sounds intriguing.