Knock knock knock!
Aldon stood with a hand poised, glancing over his shoulder at the neighbor just coming out of her apartment. He smiled at her. The smile was bright and flashy; she smiled back, almost shyly, and turned towards the fire exit to take the stairs.
Turning back, Aldon knocked again, rapping his knuckles sharply against the door. There was a buzzer but he didn't like those things; they made his ears ring. With his sensitive hearing, even the tapping sounded louder than usual but that was one of the unfortunate side-effects of being a werewolf, with all of those heightened senses. Too bad he couldn't turn them on and off at will.
Still, Gregg ought to have heard him by now, what with two sets of knocks at his door. At their first meeting, Aldon exchanged numbers with him--after they'd showered and gotten all of the dirt off their bodies from rolling around on the ground all night. Being the friendly person that he was, Aldon offered to help Gregg acclimatize to his newfound werewolf... ness. At first, it was simply good will.
Then, after the mess that happened with Ryland, it was a good way to distract himself. When he was focusing on someone else's problems, he wasn't thinking about that hole in his chest that throbbed and ached. He wasn't trying to replay conversations or scenes in his head. For little short bursts, he could put Ryland out of his mind, although invariably the memory of Ryland returned to plague him.
That was why Aldon was here now. He wanted so desperately to forget Ryland, to blot out the fact that he had finally been discarded. Ryland always threatened to do it--maybe not verbally but the implication was always there. It was always a sword hanging precariously over Aldon's head, swinging lower and lower each time that he skittered away from commitment. Then ironically, the moment he steeled himself to commit, the sword fell.
His own fault, really. Nobody to blame but himself.
That didn't make him feel better, though.
Gregg, on the other hand, did. Aldon didn't know what it was about him in particular, whether it was his too-serious face or the fact that nothing seemed to faze him. He was a calm man; an unflappable man. Something about him grounded Aldon and made him feel (and act) like less of a lost child. Maybe it was that elusive factor which also saved Gregg from a gruesome death on the night of the last full moon. Aldon couldn't remember any other wolf or human who had that effect on him. Even Ryland had to be far away from him, and Ryland was--
No. He wasn't going to think about Ryland anymore. Ryland sure as hell didn't think of him when he smiled at and kissed his boyfriend in front of Aldon. That was deliberate; it was the biggest middle finger he could have given to Aldon. Enough said. He was over Aldon, and Aldon had to somehow learn to get over him.
"Hey Gregg!" The too-big, too-bright smile grew even bigger and brighter as the door opened. Aldon was the master of hiding his emotions, after all. Maybe his eyes weren't as bright as his smiles but it would have taken a highly observant person to notice it. To everyone else, he seemed Fine.
"Guess what?!"
For the first time ever in his life as a hunter, he was questioning whether he wanted to go through with his job.
Aldon was likable. His friends weren't all quite so likable but most of the wolves were decent... people.
That was his problem: he now saw them as people. When he was hunting, he saw them as nothing but monsters. Beasts with a drive to kill, a thirst for human flesh. Now that he was one of them and now that he knew some of them... he was beginning to see himself as less of a hunter and a hero and more of a...
Killer.
Murderer.
Sliding his hands over his face, he stared into the bathroom sink and made himself remember to breathe. Turning on the faucet, he splashed his face with cold water to snap himself out of it. Just as he was grabbing the hand towel from the hook nearby, he heard it.
The door.
Quickly, he looked around the bathroom and grabbed his clean clothes, putting them on in a hurry as the person at his door knocked again. Once he was halfway presentable--at least in a pair of jeans--he made his way to the front door and peered through the peephole.
Aldon?
Unlocking the door and pulling back the chain, he opened it to Aldon's overly smiling face. He stepped aside for him to let him come inside. How could one person smile so damn much?
"Yeah," he said. "What is it?"
"Helloooo!" Aldon said cheerfully--and appreciatively as his glance settled on Gregg's bare torso--while walking into the apartment. There was a sight that he definitely couldn't complain about! (And yet, secretly, he was just reminded of a different, slimmer figure and marked all the differences between them in his mind.)
"Put some clothes on Gregg, we're going downtown!"
He grabbed one of Gregg's hands and slapped a ticket down onto it. "Hope you like strawberries, cause we'll be swimming in 'em soon! There's a big festival and it's only for today!" Obviously they had to go. Obviously!
"We are?" he asked, looking down at the ticket slapped down into his hand. Even as he lifted it up and turned it over to read the words on it, Aldon was explaining it. A festival. A festival? Somewhat skeptically, Gregg looked past Aldon but there were none of his usually present friends around.
"Just us?" he asked, somewhat secretly amused as he stepped further into his apartment to grab a tank top from his clean clothes pile. He pulled it over his head, then reached up to swipe his damp hair back.
In truth, Gregg was allergic to strawberries but he doubted he'd be forced to eat any. And if he was, well... At least he could say he'd warned him:
"I'm allergic to strawberries," he said, with the barest hint of a smile.
Aldon nodded. "Yep! We're going!"
No arguments brooked, and none given apparently as Gregg pulled on a tank top. Freshly showered, it seemed, his hair was still damp and a shade darker than usual. Aldon reached up to pat down a sticky-out strand, with a softer smile than the forced bright ones of just moments ago. "Just us. No objections, I hope?"
He'd already canceled with Rae and Josh for the weekend trip, since he had planned on being with Ryland for the weekend (and had bought the tickets, in fact, for them). Then after... The Incident, he didn't feel like refereeing dogfights all three days. When he was already down and tired and heartsore, watching other people arguing didn't seem appealing. Sure, they'd made plans way in advance but it wasn't like this was the last long weekend ever. There would be other long weekends, other trips to Josh's cabin in the woods.
But then Gregg dropped the bombshell and Aldon's smile faltered. "Oh." He frowned. "That's a weird allergy!" It was, though. Why was Gregg allergic to strawberries? "Are you gonna swell up and die if we go? Should we go somewhere else?" Everything there would be strawberry-related, from the food to the drinks to the crafts to... well, everything! It was a strawberry festival, after all!
"Nah." He didn't care if it was just the two of them. If he was honest, he'd rather it be the two of them. He got the distinct feeling that the others weren't all that fond of him.
Although it was rare, he let out a rusty laugh.
"No." He wouldn't swell up just for going to the celebration. It wasn't as if simply touching strawberries would make him sick, either. It was consumption. Of course, if he touched a strawberry and then licked his fingers, he'd have problems but he wasn't going to do something stupid like that.
"It's a minor allergy."
He wouldn't swell up and die. His tongue would just get itchy and he'd get a stomachache. Maybe allergy sounded too severe. He should have said he had a low tolerance for them.
Oho, a rare laugh! Aldon smiled in response. It was hard to get Gregg to laugh but somehow, he did it! He did it, all by himself! ...he just didn't know how or why but a victory it was, nonetheless. And he didn't even have to resort to tricks or sneak attacks in an elevator.
"I'll protect you. Any strawberries that get too close... I'll eat them!" Aldon laughed as he grabbed Gregg's hand and tried to tug him out the door. Strawberries were his favorite fruit. (Or, rather, berry.) He didn't think he could ever get enough of them and every year that the festival was held, Aldon showed up without fail.
"What else are you allergic to?" Just in case Aldon tried to take him somewhere only to inadvertently trigger a life-threatening allergy. Dates were more fun... without the threat of death.
"I feel safer already." It was said in such a deadpan tone that he could have been serious. Really, he wasn't that worried about the strawberries but the idea of strawberries attacking him only to find themselves in Aldon's mouth was mildly amusing. The smallest of smiles appeared. Something about Aldon made him feel stupidly at ease.
"No." There were no other allergies or intolerances. It just came as an amusing coincidence that the one festival that Aldon decided to take him to happened to be all about the one food his body absolutely disliked. That was all right. He imagined there would be other things, even at a festival involved around strawberries. They tended to have a lot of different vendors at festivals.
"What about you?"
"Me? I'm not allergic to anything! Healthy as a horse, that's me!"
...except for the feral thing but that had nothing to do with food allergies, at least. Aldon flexed in the classic strongman pose, except moments later he banged his outstretched elbow on the wall and gave a very unmanly yelp. He rubbed the elbow lightly as they approached the elevator.
"Oh by the way," Aldon said casually as the door opened--lucky them, it was on their floor still. "This is totally a date. I mentioned that, didn't I?" He might have gotten distracted by Gregg's allergy woes. Aldon meant to tell him--or... er... ask him--but he was so flighty and so easily side-tracked by the slightest things.
Gregg lifted his brows at Aldon's show of strength that resulted in a yelp not unlike a puppy getting his tail stepped on. Oh yes, Aldon was strong. Very strong indeed. Just look at him.
Actually, he wasn't too bad. It was obvious that he took care of himself and he wasn't a lazy slob.
Still, if they were going to have a contest over arm muscles, Gregg was positive he would come out the winner. Best not to run all over Aldon's delicate feelings.
He was given pause, however, at Aldon's declaration. A date? He almost didn't step into the elevator but had the wherewithal to reach out a hand to stop the doors from closing again when they started to. As they jerked back open, he said, "No."
Aldon neglected to mention the fact that this was a date.
Aldon's finger was on the button to keep the doors open but Gregg had a hand between the gap, to prevent the thing from going down without him. He made a thoughtful noise and adopted a thoughtful expression.
"Oh! Well. Do you wanna go out?"
A bit late, though, since Gregg had already agreed. But he agreed without knowing it was a date. Hm. Did that still count as giving consent? Aldon thought it over while the doors closed on them and as the elevator began its gentle descent to the ground floor.
"I want to go out," he said almost as an afterthought, trying desperately not to think about Ryland, and what he might think of Aldon asking someone else out. He feared that Ryland would think nothing of it, and the idea filled him with a certain sense of distress.
First a question, then another declaration. Gregg had no idea they were doing this as a date. If he had, he wasn't even sure he would have said yes to going. This whole dudes with dudes thing wasn't typically his scene. When he bought a woman for the night, she was just that--a woman.
But just because they were going out together didn't mean they were going to fuck afterward.
It wasn't even the dudes on dudes part, really, that bothered him. He wanted it to. He wished it was that. But really it was the idea of going out on a date at all. There was a reason the other hunters in his group called him Frigid Gregg. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why.
Aldon didn't know that, though.
"Why?"
"Because..." Aldon shrugged. "I like you."
He did, too. He liked Gregg. He liked the serious way he always set his expression. He liked the stern, low tone of his voice. He liked the way that Gregg had of making a guy reevaluate every life decision just by glance alone.
Gregg was different from anyone that Aldon knew but that was no bad thing, considering who his friends were.
Did he need any other reason than because he liked Gregg? Aldon wasn't poetic or a romantic, despite what some people thought. He declared it to the world, his feelings at any given time, his thoughts, his musings. He was an open book... most of the time. The few instances in which he hid his heart were only with people that mattered deeply--like Ryland--but Gregg wasn't half-way there yet. He was just someone interesting and intriguing, someone distracting, someone handsome.
"No? No date?" He looked up at Gregg with almost a kicked puppy look. "You don't like me like that." Not a question--a statement. Why wasn't yes and Aldon experienced a rising fear in the back of his mind that this could be like Ryland all over again with the post-it notes, where he opened himself up to someone and they... slammed the book shut on him.
Why meant everything. Why him? Why a date? Why all of a sudden? They were getting sort of close, in that buddy way that came with the territory of suddenly becoming a werewolf and needing a ready mentor. At least, that was how Gregg saw it.
It threw him for a loop that Aldon saw them differently. When they first met, everything had been laid bare before one another. There was hardly a mystery on how Aldon looked and Aldon had to know what he looked like. They weren't shy about the bath, they weren't shy about their bodies.
It was just that Gregg didn't know. Should they really do this? Go on a date?
The logical side of him said it was a great way to get closer to Aldon. But he had enough on them by now to destroy most of their little group by now. And he hadn't done it. Hadn't said anything. Hadn't even gone back to his hunter friends at this point.
"No," he said slowly. Aldon could do that kicked puppy look like nobody else. He could probably look another hunter in the eye like that and manage to squirm away with his life.
It sounded like he was saying no, he didn't want a date, he didn't like Aldon that way. No. But if he said yes, didn't it sound just the same? Yes, no date. Yes, he didn't like him.
Language.
"I just normally don't date."
No...
Aldon wilted visibly.
So, another dead end. He turned away from Gregg to apply forehead to wood panel (of the elevator wall), dejection showing in every line of his body, from the droop of his head to the sag of his shoulders. Even his knees lost strength, bending slightly and giving him the air of a deflated balloon.
But then--faint hope. Aldon inflated again, turned back to Gregg. "But I'm not normal!" he said with rather a proud air, for such a queer declaration of uniqueness. He meant that he was special--that Gregg could try to date him. Instead he thought he made it sound as if he was crazy.
"I mean!" he hastened to explain, putting a hand on Gregg's arm almost pleadingly. "I'm not like other people! You should just try dating me!"
See? He knew that his no would be misconstrued. That was the trouble with not being chatty and generally not all that willing to explain himself. But he did--and that was what counted. He explained himself to the best of his ability, anyway.
He looked down at the hand on his arm and then at the pleading face. Definitely wasn't normal. Most normal people would have heard the part where he didn't normally date and ran the other way. Commitment-phobic didn't make for a good trait in a potential romantic partner.
He'd heard from some of the others that Aldon had similar issues though, which was another reason he was puzzled about the direction this was going. Were they going to actually date or did Aldon just want somebody to fuck?
Gregg was probably silent for far too long, gaze on Aldon the whole time, before he leaned closer, slightly curious expression on his face. Making up his mind, his lips met Aldon's to test the waters. It was not as hesitant as his expression, that kiss. In fact, he drove Aldon further against the elevator wall in doing so. There was tongue. It was not a first kiss sort of first kiss.
It could work! THEY could work! Aldon had no idea about Gregg's approach to relationships but he desperately needed someone to distract him and damnit, Gregg fit the description better than most of the people that Aldon had considered asking out on this date.
See, the problem with sleeping with people who wanted no strings attached-type deals was that when he needed there to be strings, they... They weren't suitable. They couldn't do anything for him. Gregg could.
Maybe. If he would just stop staring at Aldon like Aldon had seaweed stuck in his teeth, or a strand of hair sticking out, or a slash of sharpie across his chin. Aldon even started to feel self-conscious, began to paw at his face and swept his tongue over his teeth to make sure nothing was there.
"Gregg?"
Gregg. Gregg stepping up to him, then pushing him into the elevator wall. Gregg's lips on his lips. Gregg's kiss, wild in a strangely exciting--yet oddly familiar--way. Aldon was no shrinking violet, though; his arms lifted and closed around Gregg's shoulders, pulling him down further as the kiss deepened. This was definitely not a first kiss kinda kiss but it seemed like they'd both been around the block a couple of times.
"Ahh..." Aldon was first to turn away, catching a breath. His heart beat wildly in his chest and he could feel his lips forming a pleased grin. "I'm taking that as a yes," he said almost defiantly. "You don't kiss like that unless it's a yes!"
Just in case Gregg felt like being contrary, though, Aldon pulled him back in for another kiss, ignoring the elevator doors that had just closed on them.
Idiot. Yes, it was a yes. It was sort of a test, too but it wasn't as if he thought Aldon wouldn't pass. He was good looking and confident enough that he seemed like something like this would hardly surprise him. Aldon definitely was no shrinking violet; he kissed Gregg back with fervor and even pulled him in for another round.
The elevator doors closed yet again on them but Gregg didn't bother stopping them this time. Some part of him was dimly aware that it had been called and that it was moving. It only added to the moment, spinning his head around, dropping the ground out from under him.
When the doors opened again, a family stood outside and the mother immediately covered her son's eyes as she gasped.
Gregg finally looked up. He met her eyes even as he hit the button to close the doors on her. Then his gaze was locked on Aldon.
"This isn't going to be a date if we don't leave the elevator."
This was a good distraction, yes sir. Aldon managed to think about Ryland only once as they kissed--he remembered how Ryland would always be reluctant to let him do anything in elevators, except hold hands. The last time they were in an elevator together, he embarrassed Ryland and got glared at and chastised.
But Gregg. Not Gregg. He was the one initiating the kiss and even when the elevator doors slid open to expose the pair of them kissing heatedly, Gregg appeared perfectly nonplussed. Aldon blinked, caught in the act and immediately adopting the expression of a good dog that had done a Very Bad Thing out of sheer habit. To be perfectly honest, he didn't feel bad about getting caught. But it helped to pretend to be repentant.
The doors closed again soon enough, sending them back down. "OR you press that emergency stop button and we have a really good date in the elevator." His smile was naughty and suggestive; the way he shifted against Gregg, more so (even if he was only half-teasing).
Oh, if the others could see him now. There would be so much jesting. He didn't care. Most teasing didn't faze him and he certainly didn't care what that poor family thought of two men kissing in an elevator. There was no reason to hide it; he had nothing to hide in that regard. He was not devoted to anybody, he wasn't dating anybody, except maybe now Aldon.
If they ever left the elevator.
"That wouldn't be a date." If they fucked in the elevator, it would be a fuck. Which... if he was honest with himself, Gregg was far more comfortable with. He'd rather fuck Aldon in an elevator than do something like go to a strawberry festival with him.
He had never been on a proper date in his life but he imagined it would look like something from a chick flick and the thought was as uncomfortable as it was foreign.
His lips curved upward just the slightest.
"Now you want to go on a date?!" Aldon cried out in amusement, bringing his hands around to cup Gregg's face. He tried to widen the smile that he spied on Gregg's lips by tugging on the corners of his mouth with his thumbs. It just made Gregg look like he was grimacing and Aldon stopped very quickly.
"Okay, okay! Let's go! We can do the elevator thing any old time."
That was true--there would always be elevators in buildings. The strawberry festival was only once a year. Besides, the doors had opened again and they couldn't keep riding the contraption up and down all day. Letting go of Gregg's handsome face--which knew how to smile after all--he eased himself out from between Gregg and the wall. But he did grab one of Gregg's hands and laced their fingers together, so as to make tugging him out the door easier.
"Bus? Or taxi?"
He never said he didn't want to go, for the record. He remembered, however, that Aldon probably still thought his no from earlier had something to do with the date idea. Unamused, he stared at Aldon while he tried to widen his smile. Give some people an inch...
"Taxi."
Buses were... all well and good. They were also cheaper. Taxis were more personal, though and he didn't feel like sitting amongst a group of strangers while he sorted out what was going on right now between himself and Aldon.
"Sounds good to me! I'll call one up, hold on."
Reluctantly he let go of Gregg's hand so that he could poke and prod at his phone with both hands. Once he'd entered the number of the local cab company, he ordered one to their present location.
Aldon didn't really expect there to be any messages from Ryland... but he still checked. Just briefly, and half-anxiously, with all the breath seeming to disappear from his lungs because--what if?
There was nothing, though.
Stop checking.
Ryland wouldn't text him. He was too proud for that--too hurt. Aldon swallowed and pocketed his phone, then slid his hand back into Gregg's. Seeking comfort, he stepped closer and leaned gently against him, resting his head against Gregg's shoulder and looking out across the street.
"If I brought you an earring, would you wear it?"
An odd line of questioning. Gregg rose a brow but he contemplated it seriously. It was no secret that he had piercings--he was wearing them now. Ink, metal, it was all a way of expressing himself because he wasn't very good at it otherwise. He needed time and thought for expression, which wasn't typically easy when dealing with people in social situations.
Would he take a gift? Was that the real question? Or was it the idea of Gregg wearing it that Aldon really wanted to ask about? What if this so-called gift didn't suit him? Gregg looked down at Aldon's down-turned face. He didn't look like he was teasing him. It was likely not a joke question, indicating there would be thought put into it. He wouldn't be handed a pink unicorn and expected to wear it.
"Sure," he finally said. A strange question for a first date. It seemed like it was something Aldon had thought about before, or as if it weighed on his mind. For all his bravado, maybe Aldon wasn't quite as shallow as he liked to make people think.
"Would you ever get a tattoo?"
He asked because he had the fox earring in his pocket, jangling around with his keys and phone. Aldon touched it, closed his fist around it inside of his pocket. He didn't know why he carried it with him. To remind him about his failure to impress Ryland? As a means of torturing himself?
It was because he was sentimental and stupid. The gift had meaning when he gave it to Ryland and just because Ryland didn't seem impressed by it--he didn't even say that he liked it!--didn't mean that Aldon also lost interest in the symbolism. Knowing that Gregg would wear it cheered him up slightly, though.
Then he smiled, in a slightly subdued manner. "A tattoo? Depends on what it is. I'm not getting your name, but maybe like... a strawberry or something, to remind me of you."
"That's commitment."
Getting a tattoo to remind himself of somebody, that was a kind of commitment that went beyond a piece of jewelry. It would be there for the rest of his life--unless he wanted to get expensive and painful tattoo removal later on in life.
If things went sour, that strawberry wouldn't be so sweet. It would only serve as a painful reminder of what once was. The earring at least could be taken off and tucked away.
Maybe Aldon was taking this thing more seriously than Gregg was. No, he definitely was. It scared him a little, although he didn't say as much. They hadn't even gone out on a date yet and Aldon was talking about hypothetical jewelry and tattoos.
A taxi drove up the curb and Gregg put up a hand to let them know it was for them.
"I'll get it," he said as he opened the door and slid in. He sort of owed Aldon a lot at this point anyway.
"...so was the earring," Aldon sighed sadly, dropping his chin to his chest. It was commitment to him. So was a tattoo, this was true. Maybe he should have gotten the fox tattooed onto his chest, to show his feelings.
Why was he still thinking about that anyway? He was talking about an ex with the man he had just asked out! What a scumbag maneuver!
Shaking himself of more depressing thoughts, he pulled his hand out of his pocket just as the taxi arrived, and he got in after Gregg. "You're so generous~" he grinned, nudging Gregg's shoulder with his own. As they pulled away, Aldon told the driver where to go and then settled back comfortably against his date.
His date.
Who wasn't Ryland, and it didn't matter because Aldon liked Gregg. (He really did, too.)
So was the earring? What did that even mean? There was definitely something strange going on with Aldon. When they met, he was like arrogant sunshine but as the days progressed and time went on, it was clear that something was weighing on his mind. Gregg didn't know him well enough to know what but he'd heard a few things between the others.
A relationship gone sour, was what he'd put together from the pieces he caught here and there. This was why relationships were a bad idea, he told himself. So what was he doing? This was probably just the rebound thing. Best not to get too attached.
Still, he responded to Aldon's smile with a small one of his own.
Soon, the festival was just up ahead--he could tell by all the cars parked nearby and the people walking in the same direction. There were balloons creating arches into the festival area itself and vendors all up and down the street.
It was then that he heard Aldon's phone notification go off. He looked over at him with a brow slightly raised. One of his friends?
Phone.
PHONE.
Aldon hesitated, meeting Gregg's quizzical glance. "...ignore it," he said, exerting all of his willpower to keep his hand from diving into his pocket so hard that he'd puncture a hole through it. No. It didn't matter who the other party was, he was on a date with Gregg. HE WAS ON A DATE WITH GREGG, DAMNIT!
"C'mon, let's go! Still got your ticket?" Aldon had his, which he flashed at the gate and was allowed in after the attendant slipped a plastic bracelet over his wrist. He fiddled with it while waiting for Gregg to get inside too, while thinking about his phone.
It's not him. Stop it.
But what if it was?
He doesn't want you. He wants that other guy.
But what if he--
Stop it.
"What should we do first?" He smiled brightly at Gregg, latched onto his hand again, and started tugging him along. That nervous expectant energy had to go somewhere and he put it into pouncing on the first strawberry-related food item he saw, which were funnel cakes topped with strawberry sauce. "...pretty sure this'll kill you, Gregg," he said as he stuffed his face, all so that he could keep his hands busy and not reach for the phone. "Try the plain one! It's good!"
Damnit. He didn't even realize when or how but his hand was in his pocket. And then the phone was out and his mouth fell slightly open. Miracles did happen--Ryland texted him first.
Things seemed off to Gregg but he went along with Aldon anyway. After being admitted into the festival, he was treated to a wave of strawberry related scents coming from so many different vendors that it actually half twisted his stomach.
Still, he tried to plain funnel cake while the vendor gave him a funny look. Aldon scarfed his down like he hadn't eaten in days. Gregg wasn't quite so quick so he observed the other people around them as he ate his cake.
The mood altered as Aldon slid his phone out. This time when Gregg raised his brow it was not out of curiosity. It was more out of... he didn't know exactly. Not irritation but he wasn't thrilled that his company was less entertaining than whatever was happening on the phone.
"Important business text?" he asked, maybe a little dryly. Anybody knew if there was important business, it would be conducted via phone call. As it was, there was no call, only a series of texts that Gregg was too polite to lean over and attempt to read.
When he was finished with his funnel cake, he slid a hand cautiously over Aldon's back and leaned in. He was about to speak when he noticed a man with bright red hair heading straight for them. Blinking, he watched as the red haired man stopped just short of them. Before he stopped, it looked like he was about to do something, like maybe punch Aldon on the arm. Now it looked like he was restraining himself.
"Aldon."
Okay, yes, it was rude to text somebody on a date. It was even more rude to text an ex-boyfriend on a date but...
But...
But he had no excuses. He was being rude. And yet, he couldn't help it, even as Gregg's comment made him raise his head and offer up a singularly apologetic look. "Y--no, just. A. Friend." He choked on the word. "Might be here."
Yeah, a friend. Aldon sighed and began to pocket his phone. Why did Ryland want to see him? Not to get together--that he made perfectly clear and the small flicker of hope in Aldon died. So he was worried? Hope sprang anew, though he tried hard to stomp on it until it died. Maybe Ryland was curious. What had Alva been telling him anyway?
"Sorry, I'll--" he began, leaning into Gregg to speak since the crowd noise was overwhelming. "Um."
Well. There he was. He really came. At least this time he couldn't say that Aldon forced him to be here, since Aldon made every attempt to rebuff him. He wanted to see Ryland but he didn't want to see the boyfriend--assuming off the bat that Ryland was also here to enjoy the festival with someone he could actually stand, instead of Aldon who had fallen vastly out of favor.
For several moments it felt like time stood still. Then Aldon swallowed and slowly, almost reluctantly, guiltily, lifted a hand in greeting. "Hey... Ry," he said, in equally guilty tones.
Sometimes, Aldon was the most annoying and frustrating person on the planet to deal with. Alva's concern only heightened Ryland's own concern and of course he worried. It wouldn't be that hard to track him down at the strawberry festival and check on him.
At least, that's what he thought--until he was deep in the midst of crowds of families and children and couples on dates with no sign of Aldon. Was Alva mistaken? Maybe Aldon never came to the festival. But that didn't make sense. He went every year. Every year. He wouldn't skip this year just because they weren't dating anymore.
After hemming and hawing and going back and forth with it, Ryland eventually sent the first text message. The exchange didn't go so well, in his opinion. Aldon was clearly shutting him out, which felt like a personal affront to Ryland. Normally, this was what Ryland did to Aldon but now that the situation was reversed, he didn't know what to think or even quite how to react.
Understanding the recommendation for funnel cakes to mean that Aldon was lurking near a funnel cake vendor, he tucked his phone away and made a beeline for the one he'd passed several times now.
He expected Aldon to be alone and depressed but he was wrong. Aldon was with somebody Ryland had never seen nor met before, somebody that was standing too close. The two of them were leaning into one another like they were speaking in secrets. A new boyfriend?
Like Ryland should care.
Still, he stood awkwardly a few feet away, not even sure what to say or do at that point. The other guy basically looked through Ryland like he was nothing. And Aldon... Aldon looked guilty as sin for some reason.
Why? It's not like we're dating.
"Hi," he said, trying not to sound awkward but doing a poor job of it. I guess he's okay. Was this why he kept insisting he was fine? Because he really was?
"Well," he said, taking a step back and almost bowling over an older woman passing by. He smoothed his hair nervously. "Looks like Alva... got it wrong. You look okay."
He emphasized this with a pair of thumbs ups.
"I'm--"
Fine.
Not fine.
Fine.
Not fine.
"Fine."
Somehow, Gregg's presence felt overly large beside him, a source of guilt that fed into Aldon's awkward interaction with Ryland. He didn't know what to make of Ryland's expression or reaction.
If Aldon had been more vindictive, he might have taken pleasure in how taken aback Ryland seemed. He would have slid an arm around Gregg's waist, stepped closer to him and introduced him as his date. Because that, in essence, was what Ryland did to him, in the car, with his boyfriend. He flaunted that guy before Aldon, right in front of his face, to show how little he needed Aldon.
But for all his faults--and there were a great many of them, too many to list--he wasn't vindictive and he didn't come here just to throw Gregg's presence into Ryland's face. If anything he wanted to hide, to scurry into a hole and never show his face again.
"Um. This is. This is Gregg," he said haltingly, looking over at his date with a strained smile. It was hard to miss Gregg, how he had that arm around Aldon, hand at his back--something Aldon himself was all too aware of. "Gregg, this is Ryland. My-my friend."
I'm fine.
That was the kind of thing Alva was talking about. The fine thing. How he smiled just a little too much, just a little too long. Ryland thought something was wrong on an instinctive level but what he saw in front of him said otherwise.
Aldon had moved on.
That was good. It was good. They should both be doing that, moving on. It was just that... wow. Ryland somehow didn't expect this. Was this just somebody he was screwing with or was it... serious? Hard to tell. The guy with Aldon sure looked serious.
"Hey," the Gregg person said, hand still very much conspicuously on Aldon. They were standing so close. It hurt to even look at them. Why am I still here? He had come to make sure Aldon was okay. That was all. And he was. So.
"Hi," Ryland said again. "Gregg."
Friend. Hah. Not the term Ryland would have used. Now he wished desperately that he'd come with somebody. Like his own boyfriend. Gregg made a small sound and nodded slightly. Ryland couldn't help feeling like he thought Ryland was an idiot with the way he looked at him.
"Well, I should let you guys get back to your..." Ryland made a small motion with his hand.
Date. They were on a date and why the fact made Aldon feel so miserable and torn was anybody's guess.
Probably because every year, Aldon used to come with Ryland. And it was his arm around Ryland, him dragging Ryland around to all the food carts to sample the best that they had to offer, him groaning and making a show of his stomach hurting--just so that later on, Ryland would rub his tummy to make him feel better. It was them, just the two of them, out on dates like these.
Now Aldon was here with someone else, with their arms around him. He was urging someone else to try the plain funnel cake, instead of pushing pieces right up against Ryland's lips, smearing whipped cream and strawberry sauce all over his face then laughing about it and dodging swipes of a vengeful hand.
Nobody was laughing now, least of all Aldon.
"Yeah," he said miserably, finding it hard to look into Ryland's face. "You?" He twisted the earring around and around in his pocket. "Are you here with... your boyfriend?"
Haha.
He actually let out a laugh. Not entirely amused. Soft. Sort of rueful.
"No."
Ryland didn't come here with Christian. His goal with Chris was to keep him as far away from any time honored Aldon/Ryland traditions as possible. Like the strawberry festival, for example. It didn't seem like Aldon had the same idea, though.
"No," he said again. "I'm here on my own."
He came for me.
That glaringly obvious fact struck Aldon dumb. His jaw tightened and he could feel something rising in his chest, a miserable ball of longing and regret and hurt and confusion.
Why did Ryland do this? How? How could he do what he did and then come to the festival just to make sure that Aldon was all right? Did he care or didn't he? The mixed signals were hard to decipher and just when Aldon had made up his mind to try and get over Ryland--to really try--he showed up alone.
Aldon felt even guiltier now, for bringing Gregg to the festival. "Oh, I see," he said softly, even though he didn't really see. Then he looked at Gregg, wondering what he made of all of this. Was it obvious, what was going on? There were more than enough rumors by now.
Gregg's my date.
And Ryland didn't come here to get back together with him.
"Well. We really should..." He gestured vaguely to the area behind his shoulder.
God, Aldon looked good. It was hard not to notice. He obviously came here to be with this... weird man who was watching him with keen eyes. Wary eyes, like he expected Ryland to do something. There was no way that guy was fooled. He had to know that Aldon didn't mean it when he said they were friends.
They certainly weren't friends. They weren't... anything, really. Ryland made that clear when he chose Christian and Aldon made that clear... with this. The two of them could have never been just friends. Maybe... maybe this was for the best, then.
It was good! It really was, that Aldon was moving on. It was unhealthy to keep doing what they did, this dizzying, sickening dance where they left and came back and then left again, breaking hearts in the process. Ryland just sorta always expected to come first for... some stupid reason.
Knowing how these excursions ended for himself and Aldon, he couldn't say that he wanted to be around when all that happened. Why did his traitorous heart hurt so damn much, then?
Ryland smiled.
"Yeah," he said. "You should. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. I have to get going, anyway."
"I'll call you," said Aldon in a last-minute burst of desperation, reaching out with one hand as though to grasp on to Ryland. But his hand soon fell as he realized what he was doing, and dangled uselessly at his side.
Things were never simple between them. When Ryland had someone, Aldon was free. When Aldon had someone, Ryland came around. He didn't know what that said about them but it was nothing good. This... thing between them wasn't good, it wasn't healthy, anyone could see that.
Tell that to his aching heart, though. Tell that to the part of him that belonged--and always would belong--to Ryland. Tell that to the painful throb in his chest and the heat behind his eyes as he turned away, taking Gregg with him.
"Well that was awkward!" He said it with false cheer, trying to sound nonchalant and coming across forced even to his own ears. Aldon cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Gregg." His hand reached out for Gregg's, latching on, holding it tight. "You're my date."
The red-haired man looked like he was about to say something but he brought his hands to his lips and half frowned before he said, "Okay," before taking another step back. The furtive glance he sent Gregg told him that whatever he held back was something he didn't want Gregg hearing. Gregg watched him impassively.
"Later!" The red-head sounded casual enough but there was still something way too off about the tension in the air. Then he was gone, melting into the crowd. It looked like he was heading back toward the entrance. Did he really pay for a ticket to the festival just to bail on it because of this? Gregg's brow raised slightly.
"Are you sure?" he asked. This whole date thing was looking more and more like a bad idea. Gregg should have known the first time in a long time that he decided to go on a date would lead to something like this. This whole thing was the reason he avoided relationships. All this tension, all this awkwardness. It wasn't there with a lady of the night who was just there to do her job and have a good time. Not so much with random people he met.
Random people with histories.
"Yes!"
Aldon's voice was an octave higher as he nodded, vehemently, so fast that his hair was a blond blur. "Yes I'm sure. Look, they have strawberry hot dogs!" He didn't know how bizarre strawberry hot dogs would taste but he was willing to try them. Anything to stop from replaying the past few minutes in his mind.
"This is disgusting," he said, even as he ate the entire thing, so absent and so distracted that he hardly knew what he was doing. Desperation was setting in. There was a horrible urge inside, crawling and creeping outward, to chase Ryland. Chase him and grab him and explain--
Explain nothing.
There was nothing to explain. Gregg was his date. He, Aldon, was dating Gregg right this second. "You up for some rides?" Maybe the twisting, turning, flipping roller coasters would prove a match for the twisting, turning, flipping sensation in the pit of his stomach, as he looked over his shoulder and didn't see Ryland.
"...that seems like a bad idea."
Strawberry hotdogs? Disgusting. Meat and fruit weren't ever meant to mix together, as far as Gregg was concerned. Still, he watched as Aldon stuffed himself. Again, Gregg ate plain food and he ate it slowly. Watching Aldon eat the way he did made him feel sorry for him. That meant he was going to be feeling it later. He'd probably have some mad heartburn.
And then he brought up rides. That... seemed like a bad idea. This was all a bad idea. Even the date was a bad idea. It was obvious that Gregg was tagging along on something with emotional baggage and he didn't much like it.
"Maybe we should go."
"What? No! I'm fine!"
He was. Fine.
Just fine. Everybody was fine.
Stopping in the middle of a crowded avenue, Aldon turned to Gregg. He ignored the dirty looks and unhappy comments about them blocking the way and looked up at Gregg, into his eyes. Gregg, who didn't deserve to go on a date only to play silent witness to a terrible daytime drama. Gregg, who was innocent, who agreed to come only because Aldon insisted.
"I'm fine." He stepped forward, slipping a hand up against Gregg's chest. He gave it a light pat, a reassuring gesture. "I wanted you to come."
Gregg wasn't Ryland but he was the next best thing. That was both an insult and a compliment, really. He probably didn't want to be the rebound, but there was something about him that attracted Aldon to him, that part wasn't a lie.
"Ry and I--I mean, Ryland and I..." His jaw worked but the words didn't come out for several moments. Aldon dropped his gaze to Gregg's collar; his fingers curled inward slightly.
"There's nothing between us anymore. I want to move on. With you."
It didn't seem like nothing. There were a number of things Gregg wanted to say, to address. Yet he didn't because they were in a crowded street and he wasn't prone to laying his heart out--but especially not in view of strangers.
Aldon didn't seem fine to him. That other guy, he didn't seem fine. Whatever happened, it was a mess and it left jagged holes in the both of them. Gregg just didn't want to end up being the little knot of cloth stuffed in the hole to stop the pain. It couldn't last. Neither of them would last like that.
"I don't think you're ready to."
He pulled Aldon away from the people who were moving around them like water over a jutting rock. There was a small alcove nearby, set up with boxes that probably belonged to some of the nearby vendors.
"I told you I don't usually date." And he didn't want to make an exception just to end up in somebody else's mess.
Aldon allowed himself to be led off to the side without complaint, silent and for once without a ready quip or smile or diversionary tactic. He took a seat on an upturned crate, hands slipping over his knees like an anxious child awaiting punishment.
Gregg wanted no part of this, it was fairly obvious at that point, and Aldon couldn't even blame him. He understood why--he didn't have to like it, but he understood. No one wanted to insert themselves into a mess that they didn't create in the first place. Gregg didn't have to play janitor; he didn't have to try and pick up the pieces that Ryland left behind.
"...okay."
His voice was small, quiet. Aldon certainly felt small. He rubbed his knees absently, rocking forward, then backward. "Okay," he said again, nodding.
Well, shit. This was unexpected.
He knew Aldon was a mess but now it looked like he was having a mental breakdown right in front of him. Gregg peered out at the street for a moment. Nobody cared what they were doing and truthfully, Gregg didn't much care if they did.
Slowly, he took a seat beside Aldon, the crates groaning beneath his careful weight. He slid his hand over Aldon's shoulder and then up to his head, bringing it in against his chest. Despite himself, he gave a shit. It was like it didn't matter what he said. At this point, he felt like he'd been drawn too far in and he was inextricably entangled.
"You really got to stop saying that."
Aldon didn't know what to do. Cry or laugh. The one time he wasn't looking for attention, when he wasn't playing up his hurts to earn someone's sympathy, he had it. And it came, of all people, from Gregg. Gregg who barely smiled or laughed, who didn't seem capable of expressing any emotion detectable by ordinary man.
He turned into Gregg, letting out a near-hysterical little laugh. This overture of sympathy suddenly seemed so overwhelming. That tightness in his chest suddenly released with a torrent of emotion. "It was my fault," he babbled almost nonsensically to Gregg's chest, holding on to him so tightly that his fingers hurt.
"I wouldn't say it. He said it all the time and I never said it and then he found somebody else who would say it! And-and then when I tried to tell him he just--"
Everything felt surreal in that moment. Laughter and chatter and the whirr of machines played in the background. Sweet and savory scents wafted to their hidden spot with the crates. If Gregg ever had to bet, he'd say he would have been doing something else in a place like this. Holding a broken man was not on the list of things he could remember doing in recent memory.
As gently as he could, he rubbed Aldon's back because that seemed like the thing to do when somebody was sad. Quietly, he assessed the words coming out of Aldon's muffled mouth.
His fault. All right. There was always somebody a little more at fault in breakups. Right? The other part, Gregg had to think about for a moment. He didn't say it? The rest of the lament slotted it all into place. Ah. Love. Well, Gregg couldn't blame Aldon for wanting to hold the words back. They were so often used as a weapon.
It sounded like Aldon was suffering from "too little, too late" syndrome. His old boyfriend moved on without him. (Although it sure didn't seem like it... Gregg was no expert, but that guy seemed on edge.)
"Do you really want to move on?"
Aldon thought about it as he drowned in the sounds and scents and in his own sorrow. He thought hard, about the heartache and the uncertainty, about the tug-of-war that their relationship had become. The problem wasn't that he didn't love Ryland--it was that he loved Ryland too much.
Something about that wasn't healthy for them. Aldon's silence on the matter of love struck a sour note with Ryland and he in turn always seemed to push Aldon into a corner with his constant attention. There was such a thing as too much affection, too much pressure.
Slowly, he lifted his head and looked up at Gregg. The fact that he was awkwardly rubbing Aldon's back hadn't gone unnoticed. Possibly it was a foreign gesture to him, because he wasn't... the best at it. But he was trying.
"...yes." He thought so. He willed it to be so because he didn't know how long he could go on like this, pretending to be 'okay' and 'fine' just to keep up appearances. Aldon was a good actor but even good actors had their limits. He was fast approaching his and seeing Ryland today, after witnessing him with his boyfriend, broke something inside of Aldon.
Tentatively he arched up, letting his lips graze Gregg's jaw. No bold kiss this time, unlike in the elevator. Just a little brush, almost hesitant. Selfishly he wanted to keep Gregg close, to benefit from the stability that he had come to represent in the midst of so much chaos with Ryland. Aldon closed his eyes and, with a heavy heart, laid his head against Gregg's shoulder. Even if it hurt Gregg... But there was no guarantee that Gregg would be hurt, or that Aldon would be the one to hurt him...
"But only if it's with you."
Moving on would be tricky business and Gregg thought that Aldon might just say that he'd be okay again. Instead, he seemed to give the question the thought that it merited.
He wanted to move on. He wanted to. That was the important part. If he wanted to, then it would be possible. If he didn't want to, then it would never happen. That made things slightly easier, Gregg thought, but he was hardly an expert on any of this.
It wasn't even hurt that he protected himself from. It was just the idea of being so open and frank with another person. Most of Gregg's life, he learned to deal with everything on his own. It was easier to quietly compartmentalize things and deal with them only as needed. Sometimes when he watched other people suffering, he couldn't help thinking they did it to themselves by being foolish enough to open themselves up.
On top of it all, Aldon was a werewolf. Something that Gregg hunted.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that things had already become messy without his knowledge. How did he become so careless? If he was already tangled up, he didn't see the problem in just letting himself roll in the webs with Aldon for now.
Besides, he had to admit there was something nice about hearing somebody say that they only wanted something with him.
"Okay," he said, not even fully believing that he himself was saying it. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"
"Yeah?" Aldon lifted his head; his smile carried some of his former spirit. Gregg claimed that he didn't usually date but it seemed that Aldon was the exception. That pleased him and left a small glowing warmth in his chest, where there was once hollow coldness.
Gregg wasn't Ryland but perhaps that was what Aldon needed right now. He'd had Ryland--and look at how that worked out for him! Maybe someone totally different, someone not quite so emotional, would be an easier match for Aldon, who shied away from his own emotions, hoping that his partner would simply 'know' what he felt. (Not that it was a rational point of view, but Aldon never claimed to be the most self-realized person on Earth.)
"Maybe we should go somewhere quieter." He winced; a child was screeching in delight somewhere by the games tents and he could hear it all the way from where he sat. Slowly he straightened and took a in a deep breath to compose himself.
"Let's go somewhere without food," he said, recalling the stomach-turning taste of the strawberry hot dog. Aldon patted his stomach sadly. "If I run out on you randomly, it's just to throw up, okay? Don't be alarmed."
"Yeah, those strawberry hot dogs looked pretty bad."
He grimaced slightly. There were some things he wouldn't even eat and that would be one of them--and not just because strawberry made him sick.
Slipping off the crate, he slid his hand into Aldon's. It was weirdly nice to just be with somebody and it was fairly easy for him to simply shove away the things he ought to be thinking about--like hunters and Aldon's previous relationship and doing away with hookers and instead focusing on a relationship.
It had been a long, long time since he had a real relationship. One might argue he never had a real one.
"Do you just want to go back... home?" He hesitated to use the term but... well, he had been staying with Aldon since he'd become a werewolf.
"I thought they'd be sweet," Aldon said ruefully, now regretting everything that led up to that moment when he put the hot dog into his mouth. Honestly it would have been a novel dessert--perhaps a hot dog made of strawberries and a sweet bun. But no. It was... something else, all right.
Too bad, no one would rub his stomach for him later. He didn't have the heart to ask Gregg--in spirit, it felt all wrong. Ryland had a magical touch and a knack of doing it that nobody else could seemingly compare to. (And truthfully, Aldon didn't exactly want to find out if just anyone could do it, either.)
Hand-in-hand with Gregg, he slipped out of their hiding spot, gazing with a touch of forlorn longing in the direction of the funnel cake stand. Ryland would be long gone by now. It was time he and Gregg left, too, so he nodded.
"Yeah. Let's go home." Which was funny since he had been so eager to get out of the apartment, but now Aldon was weary and the noise irritated him. All he wanted was a quiet place to lay his head, and maybe a hug, which he doubted he was getting out here in public.
"I guess today wasn't all bad," he said thoughtfully as they slipped into a cab, some time later--there were no shortage of taxis waiting around near the exit, hoping to pick up tired fair-goers. "I got a new boyfriend..." Aldon smiled somewhat brightly and cozied up to Gregg in the back of the car.
"No, it wasn't all bad."
It didn't feel like a date, which he couldn't decide whether he liked or not. On the one hand, he didn't feel obligated to do any date-like things, like buying dinner and seeing some vapid movie. On the other hand, he would have liked his first date in a long time to actually be a date.
He let Aldon cuddle up to him and even placed an arm around him. If anything, he felt protective toward Aldon. Why? Was it part of the werewolf thing? He heard that there weren't just physical changes. There were mental changes, too.
Back when he began hunting, he thought that meant they lost their humanity. Now it felt almost as if he was regaining his ability to feel after becoming numb to his own emotions. Such a strange revelation.
After a moment, he leaned his head toward Aldon's.
No, it really wasn't all bad.