okay
where the hell are you?
Who sold me out?
How did you get this number?
a little birdy told me.
seriously, where the hell are you?
If you're not giving me a straight answer I'm not giving you one
Nvm I know who
Jaime right?
Or Jennifer? Did she get those detectives on me
Again?
does it matter WHO?
what are you even doing?
It does matter because I have to know which of my best friends is a traitor
Why are you even trying to find me?
You heard what happened. You should be staying far away
yeah I heard what happened
why's that mean I have to stay far away?
feels like the opposite
The paparazi are all over the place
They'll drag you into this and dig up dirt on you too
You know how they are
Stop looking for me
I'm okay
I've known you since kindergarten
you're not okay
You know I've always hated how stubborn you are
You can't even come here
What about your job? Are you going to bring your boyfriend?
Don't bring him. He's annoying
tell me something new
what about my job? it'll still be here when I get back
and what is with you and Rey?
you're more annoying
I grew a freckle on my ass from sunbathing too much during the summer
I'm not more annoying than Rey, he's the most annoying person on the planet
Jennifer agrees
Or she would if
I didn't leave without telling her
wtf man
no he's not
and she'll agree with anything you say
EVEN AFTER YOU LEFT HER IN THE DUST TOO
You said tell you something new
It's new *smug*
He is, you're just blinded by dick or ass or whatever you guys get up to that I don't want to know about
Is she super mad?
Did she find a new boyfriend already?
you've stared at your own ass enough to know when there's a new freckle?
I'm not blinded by either, even if they're both nice to look at
two years might look like a blink to you and Jen but it's not
and she's fucking raging, idiot
and not yet but Hector is this close to closing in on her while she's vulnerable
idiot
I appreciate beauty in whatever form it comes in. Even if it's my own ass.
Gross
On both accounts
Hector's a total poser. He's not even old money rich, she can't possibly see anything in him!
Keep him away from her
see? ANNOYING
you don't see me calling your girlfriend's tits gross
and Hector might be those things but Jen's vulnerable and he's HERE
where are you?
or do you want me to go to the general location of this area code and weed you out that way?
You only call me annoying because you know it's true
ANYWAY my ass is better looking than Rey's
She paid 15,000 for those breasts, they'd better not be gross
Weed me out
If you can!
right, I've seen it and I'm with Rey, not you sooooooooo
also when have YOU seen Rey's ass?
he didn't go to school with us so you don't get the locker room excuse
you're really going to make me?
not just annoying, cruel too
So that says nothing, just that you're with the guy with the second-best ass
And relax, I saw it by accident during that winter trip to Switzerland
Insulting me isn't making me want to give you the address~
whatever, best GAY ass
you can keep putting him down but I still love him
and okay... weird that he never told me
what do you want me to do, literally kiss your newly befreckled ass?
He didn't tell you? Really?
Jen tells me about every dick she sees. In excruciating detail.
And you'd like that, sicko.
IF I tell you where I am, you are not to tell anyone else
Not Jen, or Rey, or Jaime, or ANYONE
Rey isn't Jen
You didn't even tell Jaime?
Rey was probably just embarrassed, don't think too much about it
And I just told him I was in the States, not my address
I'm at the lake house in that tiny town near Portland
You know the one, we vacationed here when we were like 17?
It's the only one they couldn't get their hands on because it's under my mother's name
Oh yeah
That one.
Where I kissed you when I was drunk.
Yikes
That wasn't even the only place you kissed me while you were drunk, you weirdo
But I do remember that
You kissed me and then you just
Fucking threw up all over the bed
And I had to sleep sitting up with your head in my lap
Crushing my balls
Worst birthday ever
Alcohol and teenage hormones don't mix well, what can I say
And that is such a heartwarming way to put it 😬
Well now you have a boyfriend you can throw up on on his birthday
And you brought it up, not me!
You better not do that again
My balls can't handle another night like that
I hold my liquor much better now thank youuu
Can't handle what?
The crushing or the blueness 😆
Excuse me? I don't have blue balls.
Those are not a thing.
I have plenty of hot neighbors to fuck if I want to!
I'm sure Jen would love to know that
🤦♂️ The only thing Jen would kill me for is running away
What do you think she does with all those dicks she sees?
We have an agreement
Even if she's not around?
That's weird dude
Why? We're young, it's normal to experiment
Besides it's only sex. And we tell each other when we sleep with other people so
No problems
Yeah but you're not talking to her right now!
I'll make a list!
She doesn't care, as long as there's no feelings involved, it's fine
She knows we'll get married some day and everything. Our parents already had our lives planned out for us.
This was the only thing we got to do for ourselves
This and
Running away I guess
But you don't want her going out with anybody
I can't pretend to understand
And I want to put this delicately
But I don't think I can
Cris, your parents can't tell you what to do anymore
Sex is not the same as dating.
My dad can't tell me what to do ever
I get that part
I don't agree but I get it
Kinda
But if you guys are bored with each other maybe you shouldn't be together?
You're the one who said you don't get to do things for your self
If it's not for your parents than who?
We've been together for 8 years Del! 8 years! It's not that we don't love each other
After a point, the sex becomes just a physical thing. It has nothing to do with the state of our relationship
And I don't know
I don't know anything anymore
I don't know why dad did what he did
I don't know where my mom is, but she's probably in some stupid yacht with some stupid 20 year old living it up
You know I haven't heard from her since dad got arrested? I just got a call from her personal assistant telling us she was 'sorry to hear about what happened.'
But
I still want to
Forget it
I don't even know why I'm here anymore
I'm not going to forget it
I'm going over there
And if you're not there when I get there
I swear to god Cris
Well if I'm not here you can't do anything to me anyway!
I'm here, waiting for you to come over so you can lecture me some more 😘
My neighbor has a guy over
I think he's gay
Somebody has to
So your hot neighbors are gay guys?
Interesting 🤔
I hate that a part of me loves you for that
Neighbor
One singular neighbor
The rest are women
Also I threw that in for you, for interest
He's probably not your type anyway
Too handsome and rich and well put together 😂
😉
I'm not coming for your neighbors
I have Rey
Who may not be rich and put together but he's handsome you monster
Not to mention smart, funny, and genuine
Unlike the people we grew up with.......
And annoying
And clingy
And suspicious of ME who has a GIRLFRIEND 🙄
Also don't you insult the people we grew up with
You were just fine hanging with all of US before your boyfriend came along and started blaming us for being born privileged
As if we had a choice at birth
Hey that's not his fault
I have a history with you so you can't blame him
It's not like he likes Jaime either
He's just frustrated
He knows we didn't have a choice any more than he did
Ugh what even
Our 'history' consists of you drunk kissing me a couple of times
And okay admittedly me drunk kissing you like once
If he can't handle something that happened years ago, the problem is with him and his insecurity
Nobody likes Jaime though lbr 🤣
Poor little poor boy dying to belong? 😑
And you look like you sooo
Jaime doesn't even like Jaime
And see that's exactly why he views rich people the way he does. 🤦♂️
I what? Look like what?
HE came in with an attitude! I mean we would've accepted him
Eventually
Jen was prepared to be nice anyway
Shut up
You're just fishing for compliments now
It's been two years and neither you or Jaime accept him
And As I recall, Jen tried to seduce him
Which was really just funny since he's gay af
Ohhh
I actually wasn't but
Thanks for the compliment! 😍
I've been a little busy dealing with my dad's shit okay
And Jaime... holds grudges for 90 years, you know this. Rey punched him, you think he'll ever let that go??
Anyway
She didn't know that
And you guys weren't serious at the time so don't blame her for being herself
/ignoring that
Rey wouldn't have punched him if he didn't talk all that shit about his family!
Jaime deserved it
Yeah yeah like I said it was mostly funny
Jaime deserves to be punched for a lot of things but not for some smack talk 🙄
You think she'll really date Hector? I feel like she might, but only to flush me out...
He's really close to his family
Jaime would punch people for us
It's the same thing only with his actual family
And I don't know
But Hector is really pushing it
This is some grade school shit. I guess you'll just have to put up with this feud and maybe not invite us to your wedding.
I hate that guy. For real, even more than I dislike Rey. What the fuck is his problem? Jen doesn't even like him!
And have you heard the way he talks to her? 🤮🤮 Reciting fucking poetry and shit
As if I could ever have a wedding
My dad would rather die before acknowledging Rey
Well for somebody who doesn't like him she's really flirting with him
But yeah maybe it's to flush you out
You really don't want me to tell her where you are?
I can bring her
Elope then. 🤷♀️
I know her, she's doing it to make me jealous. And don't you dare bring her here you ass, don't even say it
She'll try to make me go back home
And I can't afford to do that
Maybe we already have 😉
Okay okay
No Rey no Jen
Just me then
🤭 As if
Just you, yes
You lucky, lucky man
Surprised Rey is letting you come alone
I didn't tell him
.........
Because if you did he'd say no
Even if you thought I was in trouble
Right?
Look
I'm my own person
I don't need permission
Hm
I look forward to you having to explain all this to him
And before you call me an asshole, don't think I don't know you're looking forward to seeing Jen kick my ass when she finds me 🤕
I like how you say when not if
🙄 There isn't a place on earth I can run to and hide in if Jen decides to find me
Right now she's not mad enough to do it for real
You think she's really going to hire detectives
Again
🤨
Elope with me
Together we can escape her
Like I'm the one thing stopping her
Even if we eloped she'd get in on it 😆
Support my dreams and my freedom damnit!
She does think you're hot...
I do support your dreams and freedom
I'm not threatening to bring you back
Annnnd shhh I was joking
So you're coming here to
Swim?
And make sure I'm not dead?
👅
I can swim anywhere
But yes
I'm checking up on you
Live and in person
Because I'm worried about you
Asshole
You're doing that thing again
Where you say something cute
And then call me an asshole to cover for it
I do not
You do
A lot actually
It's pretty cute
Shut up asshole
There's nothing cute about that
Not to you maybe
And you're all embarrassed now so you definitely can't admit it
There's nothing to admit to!
Okay okay if you want to think that
I mean
Don't get all flustered just cause I called you cute 😏
I'm not flustered!
🙃
Sure I believe you
Whatever
I'm gonna disappear for a while
Gotta turn off my phone
Yes, you should say goodbye to your boyfriend and everything
Don't worry
I'll be okay here
Maybe I'll go for a swim in the lake
Uh noooo because I'm at the airport.
I'll explain it to Rey later.
What
Damn how'd you get a flight this fast?
How do you think?
You
Blew a flight attendant?
Joking! Don't hurt me
I'm guessing your father's agent?
I should have known that's where your mind would go, you pervert
But yes, my father's agent.
Anything to get me away from Rey
I said DON'T hurt me and that hurt me DEEPLY!
Sorry you're saying that like
Omg my boyfriend's getting on my case so much lately I desperately need to get away
Right, like you don't know you're a pervert
And no, I meant my dad
My dad would do anything to separate us
Rey's not getting on my case or anything
I'm not... I'm curious
OHHH my bad! I see what you're saying now
For a second I thought you'd come to your senses!
Of course he would never get on your case
That's why you're sneaking out to see your best friend~
Curious about what everybody else does in the bedroom?
I'm not sneaking out
But if I tell him what I'm doing, he'll want to come
and I thought you didn't want that
Only certain people. Hell I don't want to know what Jaime gets up to. Gross.
I don't want that because the whole time he's here, he'll be giving me that look like he thinks the first chance I get, I'm getting in your pants
I know I'm good looking but hell
It's like he thinks he's seeing something we're not
Oh but you want to imagine me blowing flight attendants?
Listen that's because I came clean about the drunk stuff, he was so keyed up about thinking you were going to steal me so I thought telling him would cool him off
Turns out I was wrong
He still thinks it's something on your end for whatever reason
It was a gay joke!!!!!!!
So he thought I was going to steal you BEFORE he knew about the drunk kissing! That makes it worse!
Is this the part where you say it's okay to make those jokes because you KNOW a gay person?
And yeah, I mean, yeah. I guess he did.
Don't ask me why he's so obsessed with the idea
Nooo, that's gross.
I get to make jokes because you're my best friend and you called my girlfriend's expensive breasts 'tits,' which is also offensive to women. :)
And because I'm an asshole
Wow
Woooooow
He has some issues
*shifty now*
Not that bad of an asshole if you admit it'd be gross to say that
Sorry about that tits remark
He has issues, but who doesn't
I just wish he'd drop it
It's like he doesn't trust ME
and I told him it was years ago
Awww
You think I'm not 100% asshole
You really do love me ;(
Are you checking out other guys around him or something? Like
This is not a normal amount of jealous partner going on
It's actually incredibly weird
Of course I love you dumbo
No! You've known me since kindergarten!
Since when do I do that?
Tsk
I'm all melted now
Into a little puddle of goo
You don't. You're the most stupidly loyal guy I've ever known, even when it's detrimental to your own health and happiness.
And anyone worth your time can see that the moment they meet you
So
Rey being suspicious of you makes no sense
Or of me, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
I think it's definitely him. He's just insecure.
It's not us. Pfft
Yeah.... he's kinda
Well he has a hair trigger temper
So what's to say he doesn't have hang ups about himself
But sometimes it gets so tiring to keep reassuring him
Why is it your job to constantly reassure him of your innocence?
Getting accused of shit you didn't do all the time and being watched constantly doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun
Because I love him?
It sucks but what am I supposed to do? Ignore his feelings?
Loving someone doesn't mean filling in their lack of self worth with constant reassurance. Loving them means letting them be themselves and trusting them at their word
If he loved you as much as he claims he wouldn't be hounding you every time we're out together 🙄
Besides what about your feelings? Who's looking after you?
I'm good
I don't need somebody to look after me
He loves me Cris
He just has a lot of trauma to deal with
🤦♂️ I can't believe you actually just said that
Good thing I never ever listen to you because you're not the only one with a friend who won't give up
He should learn to love himself
Before he starts using other people as a crutch for his own fucked up problems 🙄
What, you're going to take care of me now? 😆
He's not using me as a crutch!
Let's just drop it
You're as bad as he is
I'll take care of you real good 🤬
And you take that back or you'll be sorry!
Why does that sound like a threat?
Both of those. Threats!
Because they are
You're going to be with me
Alone in a big old house by the lake
😈
You're gonna kill me? 😆
No
Worse
Much much worse
I'm going to teach you how to have fun again
Without your boyfriend
Dun dun dunnnn
It better not involve your neighbors
Oh please
Don't try to inject your gay fantasies into this
It's just you and me Delitoooo~
Get ready to have the time of your life~
Nope
No drinking
😡
2 drinks
1 drink
2 drinks and for 6 hours I don't talk about how shitty Rey is
Fine but make it eight hours
6 hours! I can't go 8 hours without badmouthing him, I'll explode! Do you want me to explode?!
No. But you're not limited to two drinks
So what are you worried about?
Okay whatever 8 hrs
But I'm doubling down once the 8 hrs is up
No way! Six it is
Heheh excellent choice sir
Just for that, I'll introduce you to the gay neighbors
No thanks
LOL Are you sure?
One of them has a giant rainbow inner tube
I want a turn on it
Really bad
Then why don't you do it when I'm NOT there?
Wtf you have to be here! It's a 2-person deal! I'd look stupid floating around by myself
I meant with your new friends.
It feels weird going over and introducing myself alone
And then asking to use their lake toys...
Awww, are you being shy?
NO
I'm not shy!
I think you are! Without Jen around, you're shy!
You
Are completely
Wrong
I don't need Jen around to make new friends!
Prove it!
I'm not going to prove it, I don't have to do it just because you tell me to!
But you really need a friend right now
I have a friend
You
Besides what if they're like you and Rey and one of them starts thinking I want to fuck his man because
Apparently I'm irresistible to gay guys
And I look like a homewrecker
Okay then make friends with those hot ladies then!
You suggest this knowing that Jen will find them and have them assassinated
You monster
I don't need any new friends
I have you and Jaime
I need a turn on that inner tube!
Well you're only getting me
under your OWN orders
and I should be there...
in 15+ hours...
I only wanted YOU
Asshole
15 hours is too long, I'm disappointed in you
Call me when you land, I'll send a cab
yeah yeah, I will
and it's the best I could do, so 15 hours is what you have to wait!
KISS KISS
EW
GAY
>:]
LOVE YOU
GAAAAHHH
IT'S CONTAGIOUS
IT'S SPREADING
CONTAGIOUS?
ARE YOU GAY YET
KDJGP)OGPE
NO
NONONOOO
NOOOOOOOO
I
Feel the need
To
Suck a dick
you're such an asshole
🖕
You asked
Don't get mad when you don't like the answer
Oh what, that was supposed to be a serious answer?
The gay
It's contagious
:)
I'm rolling my eyes so hard at you right now.
Don't do it too hard or they'll get stuck
I can't be taking a googly eyed friend over to visit the hot gay neighbors
Why not? It'll make for a good time.
And they won't be able to tell if I'm looking at them or not.
Omg stop
I can't stop laughing
Do not
Embarrass me
In front of the hot gay neighbors
Because you wanna suck their cocks?
No fuck off
I said I want to suck ONE dick
I have to be choosy
It's going to be that one dick and then never any other dicks ever again
You're in love with a dick!
Who does it belong to?
It's the neighbor, isn't it?
Why did you make that sound so gay?
No I'm not in love with anyone's dick
I go for personality, okay, I'm not SHALLOW
Because I'm gay
Right but you only want one dick forever
You don't even want one girl forever
I have one dick forever
Mine
I'll suck my own dick, how you like that?
*stupid*
Never mind...
Also you're wrong
I will marry Jen
One day
Once Jaime stops being an asshole long enough for me to enjoy the idea of joining that family
That's the most valid reason I've heard from you.
What really? I've come up with plenty of valid reasons before! How come this one sticks?
Shit
I thought the one about us being too young was good
Like
It made me sound mature you know?
Rey's brother is married and he's younger than you two.
Don't think I don't hear that from Jen
And he married his high school sweetheart too
Sadly I'm not Rey's brother
And if I were I might off myself
Drop it.
Drop
My pants?
: D
I wouldn't suck your dick if it was the last dick in the world
Gross
You didn't specify jerk!
Okay I'll drop
The beat?
Untz untz untz untzzzz
Life of the party right here
I'm a man of many talents! <3 That's why you love me
Alsoooo
Jaime is blowing up my phone asking where you are
I'm
Not going to say anything
Because he'll want to come along
And Jen will come
And
Just no
Yeah um
He's blowing up my phone too
And so is Rey
You're boarding soon right?
Like
Preferably right now?
Think they found out about your plan?
Yeah
And I don't think so?
Maybe I should say something before I get on the flight
Don't tell them where I am! I mean Jaime knows I'm in the states but don't tell him where specifically
Just tell them you're going on a trip or something
For work 😬
I guess that works.
A new hermit client or something
Yeah
Go with that!
I'm going back into hiding! I can't deal with this
Right.
See you in 15 if all goes well.
Don't do anything stupid.
Hurry
☹
I can only go as fast as air travel allows...
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
🙄 I'll call you the moment I land.
Okay
Cab will be there waiting
☹ see you not soon