Say it if you mean it

[Levi Yoon]

Then it hit him like a ton of brinks. No father and now no mother but his mom didn't have a choice like this father. "I need to see Eli!" The panic set in. "What happened?" he demanded wanting explanations he needed answers! 

"They are still investigating it." The doctor said, "And if you calm down you can see your brother. But since you are a miner we have to call child services we can't discharge him to you." Levi held onto Sully's hand in disbelief was this really happening? He can't even take his brother home after all this?

"I'll calm down once I see my baby brother." He was heated and freaking out and the doctor expected this, the young man just lost his mother. She had been doing this job for a while but she still had a heart. This was the hardest part of her job.

He wanted you to scream, cry, and yell all at the same time. Levi didn't want any of this to be real. He didn't think for once he was going to hear what he just heard. He thought that they would be hurt but not dead. A flood of emotions came flooding out his chin trembled and his eyes filled with tears his grip on Sully tightened.

The doctor sighed and said, "Follow me I'll take you to Eli Yoon he is in room 205 and he is sedated but coherent." His palms started to sweat he was excited and scared to see baby Eli. Once he was in the room he ran to his brother's side hugging him, he was limp and Levi could see the drugged look in his eyes it broke his heart to see his baby brother like this. Levi couldn't hold it back anymore and just started to bawl. Sobbing uncontrollably. 

[Sullivan Bennett]

Oh, shit. It was true. Levi was a minor; they weren't going to just give him his little brother. And what about his mom? Were they going to ask Levi to go look at her? To... identify her? If it were Sully, he'd want to at least say goodbye. But that was because he saw his family in a different light. Right now, Levi was focused on the baby because the baby was alive and he was vulnerable, Sully was willing to bet. And the shock of his mom, that hadn't set in yet.

Sully was about to argue or beg that they be allowed to at least see Eli (he had to be all alone and scared, right?) but the doctor seemed to understand. It wasn't going to hurt to let Levi go in and see his little brother. After all, why would they call them here if they were just going to shit bad news at them and nothing else?

But the minor thing was still ringing in Sully's head. Levi and Eli, they were both minors... Without parents. They would be thrust into the foster system. Chewing his lower lip, Sully thought of his parents. They had adopted so many kids. What were two more?

He followed Levi in silence, the thought still blooming in his mind.

He let go of Levi as he ran for his brother and he stayed back--giving the two their moment together while he watched. He felt a bit like he was privy to something he shouldn't be seeing, though. After a moment, he crossed his arms and turned his head away, looking at the machinery and the walls of the hospital. Damn. Everything about this was depressing.

[Levi Yoon]

It hadn't even crossed Levi's mind about his mother and having to identify her. His full attention was on Eli. His face was barred him his brothers chest. "Mama's gone baby boy but I will always be here." he cried into his brother in a whisper.

This was too much for him to handle right now he would be lost and broken if Sully wasn't with him. He was so alone and now he really was he had to grow up for real now. If he thought it was hard then now he had the weight of his mother's death on him, raising his baby brother, and his dad left them like they were nothing.

His breathing was unsteady and he looked up into his brother's eyes they were heavy and glossed over he looked tired and sad at the same time. Levi knew Eli knew mama was gone. He was there when she died.

Does dad know...? This gives him NO right to come back into our lives we are just fine without him.

The doctor stood back and gave them some time but didn't leave them alone in the room. "Some men would like to talk to you boys." She clasped her hands together. "But only when you are ready they will be right out here waiting."

Levi looked at the doctor his eyes still filled with tears, "I'll talk to them. I can't see him like this right now." He slowly got up wiping his tears away making his way to his Sully. Sliding his arms around him for comfort.

They used to hug in a playful manner now in sobber. October was looking like a shitty month. Hell, shitty year, maybe life. No! He would let his brother have a shitty life. He would remember the good things his mother did and pass this knowledge onto baby Eli. She was a good mother she just lost her way in hard times. Levi felt like a shitty son for thinking all the bad things he ever thought of her. He wanted nothing more than to take it back.

I should have stayed home this would have never happened!

[Sullivan Bennett]

"Hey..." It'll be all right, he was going to say but that wasn't true. Maybe one day but not any time soon. Sully knew a little about losing people. He had been adopted into the Bennett family because things weren't great in his first trial at life. But when it came to being on the other side of tragedy, he'd learned it was best to be there, for whatever the other person needed. Any time a new kid was welcomed into the family, Sully waited it out, he waited for them to feel strong enough to open up to him. He didn't push it.

At the same time, he made sure he was there. A presence that was stationed close enough for that new sibling to come to whenever he or she felt like it. Sully was that way because he didn't appreciate it when people pushed themselves on him for answers. So... yeah, he tried to extend the same courtesies that he could.

This was different, though. This was Levi. His best friend. Not only had he lost his mother, it was a very real possibility that he'd lose his kid brother and on top of that, he'd be placed into some foster home. Some were okay. Some weren't. And Levi wouldn't even have much of a choice when they did. They'd just place him where there was an opening. What if it wasn't here? What if it wasn't in Hazleton? In Portland? Even in Oregon?

"What do you need with us?" Sully asked, looking over at the doctor with a frown as he continued to hug his best friend. He was partly annoyed that the doctor was lingering and talking about people needing to talk to them. Couldn't she see now wasn't the time?

[Levi Yoon]

"These officers need to speak to Levi get his information, does he have a relative that can take him and his brother?" She spoke to Live's friend rather than him she could see he wasn't all there. It hurt her to see this play out but it was part of her job, if they went into the foster care there was nothing she could really do her hands here tied.

"Can't I just go home?" He said under his breath he didn't want to stand there anymore he didn't want to be in the hospital anymore, shit he didn't want to be alive ant more, his eyes scanned the room, there had to be an escape away out of all this.

Levi was now in his own head and time seemed to slow down. He just stood there frozen not wanting to move now. What if they took him away right now? this was bad really bad, he tightened his grip on Sulli.

[Sullivan Bennett]

"No, but he has me and my family," Sully said with a frown. He didn't like that people were so easily pushed into the foster care system. He knew from experience, from seeing the other kids, that it didn't help. Eli needed to be with somebody he already knew, like his brother. More importantly, Levi didn't need to be subjected to the horror of some shitty foster family that only wanted him for extra income.

"Call my parents," Sully said to the nurse, giving her his home phone number while he lightly rubbed Levi's back to calm him down. He didn't want to tell Levi that the next time he went home, it would likely be to gather his things and pack. "They'll take him and they've fostered and adopted before. They'll know what to do."

[Levi Yoon]

Levi could hear them talking but he wasn't processing any of it like the fact that he would be Sully's brother if they adopted them. This was a big thing for his family to take on but they did it many times before. But what if they couldn't, what if they didn't want to take the two in and this was the end of everything? Why was this all happening to him and now?

"You think they would take us in?" He said after a moment once they were left alone. They went to get a hold of Sully's parents they would more than likely be going home with the Bennett's tonight, Sully's family was pretty awesome, he was sure they would pull through he just couldn't help but think of the worst.

Levi wanted to sleep for a long time until this was all over with at least he help onto his best friend for comfort.

[Sullivan Bennett]

"Of course! They've known you as long as I have, right?" Sully smiled and he did his best to continue soothing Levi with a light back rub. At this point, everything else that happened before the accident felt effectively erased. Now they were facing a very different kind of future, full of mines and pits they hadn't anticipated. Sully's tiredness couldn't be described in words--the once bouncy and happily positive force was muted.

Not gone, though. It hadn't disappeared.

For a long moment, they just sat in silence, or as silent as they could in a hospital setting. Sully knew there was a time for words and a time for just being there. Now was the latter. He lightly bumped his head against Levi's and pulled him closer. It wasn't okay and it wouldn't be for a while but on the bright side, Levi still had his little brother. There was that.

A nurse came in with a clipboard for Levi to sign.

"For the evening, you will be released to the Bennetts. They're on their way now."

[Levi Yoon]

He needed to hear those words and he wanted the comforting hand but it all still didn't seem like enough. He wanted more, he wanted his family back, both his parents. A time where he felt safe. Levi gave Sulli a half smile before looking away back at the floor.

He really didn't think he had it in him to make it through today but as every minute that went by, he was able to do it. Without even thinking about it his body just knew just what it had to to get by even if it was disconnected from everything right now.

"Kay," is all he said as he fought back tears as he signed the papers. Then they had him do the worst part ID his mother. They made their way and in his head, she was going to be okay and it was all a miss understanding but he knew deep down she was gone and that was the worst part. It was hard to even think right now he just wanted to stop thinking.

They uncovered her face and it hit, the truth his mother lay there all pale and bloody. Levi clenched his fisted and turned away. "Yes, that her my mother!" He grabbed onto Sulli and tears came out, his chest tightened and his whole body began to shake.

After the whole ordeal, he and his baby brother were released to the Bennett's the whole day was tiring when his head hit the pillow Levi was out. His dreams were wild and he woke up in a cold sweat. Panting he frantically looked around for baby Eli. Once he saw him his heart slowed down.

Pulling the covers off he got up at peeked in the pack and play, at his brother. He was sleeping still his little chest rising and falling with each breath. he did this every night fearing he would die of SIDS. He then looked over at Sulli and whispered, "You up?"

[Sullivan Bennett]

Sully had no chance at sleep. It didn't matter how tired his body might have felt. As he lay in bed, he could only remember the events of the day. It was like some kind of dream turned to a nightmare. Everything bled together and then it shattered apart, a look from Levi here, a sound of a cry there, a flirty smile, tears. Swallowing hard, Sully shifted in his bed for the millionth time that night. His eyes felt dry and baggy but he couldn't really sleep so all he did was stare at the ceiling. Every now and again, he looked over at Levi and he ruminated over his position.

Although he was certain the Bennetts would take him in, he knew Levi was in a place where he just wanted what he used to have back. The Bennetts also weren't guaranteed anything. Levi could have family out there that wanted custody (doubtful, but still) or there could be a push to place them in separate homes. Especially Eli. he was a baby and babies were in high demand. Somebody would snap him up.

But the Bennetts would never let them split up, not if they could help it.

Still, it meant everything was in the air for Levi.

So when Levi started moving around and it was clear he was awake, Sully slowly turned his head toward him and watched him. He watched in silence, not sure if Levi was in the mood for talking. It was only when he asked him if he was up that he slowly lifted his head and rubbed his dry eyes.

"Yeah. Haven't really slept after... well, you know." He sat fully up and crossed his legs under his blankets. "How are you doing? Did you have a nightmare?"

[Levi Yoon]

"Yeah, I did," Levi said in a low tone. "Can I lay with you?" He asked as he sat up. His baby brother was still sleeping and it was dark in the room. He didn't know what he was feeling right now. He wanted to be sad but he didn't know what he was feeling.

He felt like life was hard before but a life without his mom felt like no life at all. He never has to think of his life this way until now.

Levi got up before Sully answered and jumped in bed with him. Levi rested his head on his chest. The tears began water his chin trembled and the tears fell out.

"She's gone, she's really gone." Levi's whole body ached.