Will I Ever Find Friends?

[Ahn Bongju]

Despite the conversation he was having with Gabriel, Bongju still nodded and entered through the door. He was ready. He was willing. He didn't understand what Gabriel hoped to change by bringing up monsters coming out of the fog. If they used to be people, what did that matter? Bongju used to be human once, too. Now look at him. Maybe it was meant as a warning that doing this might transcend him into something even further from being human.

Now that did give him pause. He felt like there was nothing to lose because he didn't care about dying. But... He lowered his head. But what did it matter? In all honesty, he couldn't imagine a fate worse than this.

"I'm ready."

[Giovanni Chang]

The brothers nodded and J.D. handed him a drink, "This should numb you enough so you won't feel that much pain. I wanted to make this as painless as possible."

Giovanni sat back, "The spell he found calls for two celestials, and luckily there's two here even though one is a demon and the other an angel. It'll still work." He reassured him, "It should anyway."

[Ahn Bongju]

"...it should?"

He was feeling less certain about this as it went on. Still, he took the drink and he quickly downed it. Painless. But there would be pain. Pain was better than the empty nothingness he felt for a century or more. There was a long space of time where nothing could touch him, no matter what he did. Now he waited for directions, waited for the spell to be cast. At the same time, he reached for the tendril of a link between himself and his celestial. Did the link even exist... or had he been holding onto a ghost the whole time?

[Gabriel Lee]

It was a good thing that he was close by.

Out of sheer coincidence, Gabriel happened to be only a few blocks away from the address that Bongju gave him and he quickly took off down the street. The town was so small that there weren't many (if any) cabs roaming the streets, so hoping for one to appear in his hour of need was hoping for far too much.

He didn't know who these "Chang" brothers were but if they were tinkering with ancient magic so freely, then they were not to be trusted. The bond between celestials and yin wasn't easily severed. Gabriel would know--even when he took over this celestial's body, he couldn't completely break that connection. There were moments when the connection shivered but something still held Bongju to him no matter what he (or the master) did.

And if the master had no way to disconnect them completely, what could two mere supernatural beings do? Gabriel didn't think that either of them would possess the depth of knowledge to even begin plumbing the beginnings of magic like this.

Huffing and puffing, he ran as fast as he could down the street, nearly cannoning head-first into a car. Ignoring the driver's angry tirade, he crossed the street and darted around a corner, then down another block. Oak Lane. Third house from the left. He saw it and headed directly for it, banging on the door with a closed fist. Didn't matter if they thought he was crazy; as long as he was in time to stop Bongju from doing something stupid...

[Ahn Bongju]

(Moving forward with this as it's been a while.)

Soon...

Soon, it would all be over for him. Oblivion would finally wrap its arms around him and close the world behind its curtains. There were no words for how exhausted Bongju had become. Searching for his lover for so long--that was tiresome enough. It was worse when he acted as if he barely recalled him and kept rebuffing him. How long could Bongju be expected to stalk him and follow him after finding him?

He couldn't keep playing this game. He felt it ripping him apart inside. It didn't even feel like Gabriel was connected at all. So long ago, he'd disappeared and severed their link. Yet here he was and the link that Bongju swore was torn apart was still there. It was ragged and frayed but somehow, it was there. Their link hurt, though. It was no longer the comfort it once was. It no longer felt like the warmth of belonging to somebody and having somebody to belong to him. No, now it was just pain. It was branded burn that wouldn't stop thumping with his heartbeat. Every beat hurt.

It was time now, to really sever it. For good. Forever.

Bongju closed his eyes and waited for the spell to begin but then he felt him. Closer. Close. Bongju's eyes opened and he abruptly sat up, eyes wild.

[Gabriel Lee]

He could feel Bongju's pain but there was nothing that he could do about it--or with it. Not for lack of trying had Gabriel attempted to dissuade Bongju from doing something foolish but apparently the severing of the bond had ruined him both emotionally and mentally. And now here he was, desperately trying to find a way into the house, to stop whatever foolish magic those mortals were attempting to weave over Bongju.

When the door didn't open--despite his persistent knocking--Gabriel ran around the side of the house. He peeked in through a window, but saw only emptiness and darkness inside. He ran further, to the back, and pressed his face to another window. Through a narrow hallway he saw into another room, and then slight movement.

"Bongju!" Gabriel knocked on the window with his knuckles, hard enough to rattle the panes.

[Ahn Bongju]

They weren't kidding when they said it might hurt. It felt like every single cell in his body was degenerating, disintegrating, dying. Maybe it will kill me, after all. Death had long been his companion, one that he flirted with, courted with, waited night and day for. Now, when it finally arrived before him, it felt like he had been thrown into the sun. Everything burned. Everything screamed. He could have sworn he heard screams but maybe it was all in his burning head.

He twitched, his fingers first, his neck second, trying to seek out the familiar voice calling to him. Revenge would have been so much sweeter. If only he could have found somebody to just make him pay for what he did. Yet he couldn't hold onto the resentment long enough to really do it, could he? That was the real curse of their bond; real and true hatred seemed impossible.

Bongju could barely even open his eyes to see where Gabriel was but he knew that he was close. Not just because he heard his voice but because he could feel him. Despite the terrible pain paroxysm that invaded his body, he could feel him. For some stupid reason, that made him smile. His eyes could barely stay open but they stung. And stupidly, he was smiling.

"...Gabriel..." 

[Gabriel Lee]

What could he do? The doors were locked and the windows were closed. Gabriel banged on the window again, hoping that the noise would at least distract whomever was inside, if not bring them to the door. He could feel the magic radiating from inside and it didn't feel right. It wasn't the sort of ancient, deep magic on par with the one which bound and tethered them together. It was superficial--it was wrong. It was the foolish kind of magic that only young witches would attempt.

"BONGJU!"

There was nothing to do but shout and bang on the window. Gabriel tried it; it was firmly closed and locked from the inside and unless he wanted to put a fist through a pane to unlatch it... Though he was getting desperate as he felt Bongju's life force flicker, he held out hope that someone in there would heed his cries and let him in. But as the seconds ticked by and as no one inside acknowledged him, Gabriel's desperation rose. Even if the one inside of him laid dormant, he still couldn't let Bongju throw his life away. Gabriel wasn't so far gone that he would stand idly by while someone allowed themselves to be consumed by forbidden magic. There had to be a better way.

"BONGJU! GET OUT OF THERE!"

[Ahn Bongju]

How?

The word didn't even pass his lips. Everything was a red-orange violent haze. There were shadows in the fiery world engulfing him. They fluttered in a familiar way. Distantly, he could voices. Quiet voices, elated voices, teasing voices, worried voices, desperate voices, voices that broke. Gabriel. Bongju. A thousand different words, a hundred different conversations. Comfortable conversations, terse conversations, and then one-sided conversations. Only one voice.

Bongju tried to lift his hand to his head, as if that might stop the strange, fluttering visions.

He felt like he couldn't move anything. Everything was so heavy. Was he even in his body anymore? It felt like he had no control over anything, just chaotic flittering thoughts and memories trying to attach themselves to something that would reorder them into something that made sense.

I can't, he wanted to say. Something seemed to be holding him down. He wanted to laugh and to cry at once. Maybe he did. They said this could end unpleasantly for him. They weren't lying, were they?

[Gabriel Lee]

Nothing. Despite his efforts no one came to investigate and he could feel the bond between them eroding and crumbling. But it wasn't a clean break; something was eating away at their connection, leaving Bongju to suffer and Gabriel... He was beyond the pangs of a merely mortal body but he could still feel Bongju's pain, and it was his pain, too.

Drastic measures were clearly needed here, and so he quickly shrugged off his jacket and wound it around one hand, forming a fist inside. With all of his strength, he punched at the pane in front of him. It hurt more than he thought, but it shattered with a violent noise. He felt the sharp edges of the glass as they scraped through the jacket; something poked through and scraped against the side of his hand, drawing warm blood.

Gabriel winced. He expected his fist to go through, so that he could unlatch the window, but it encountered something harder. Something invisible--a magical barrier. Bewildered, he felt around, ignoring the jagged glass all around his hand and wrist. The barrier was strong and held despite his probing and poking. Under his breath, Gabriel swore. It was obvious that the witches had thrown up the necessary precautions to prevent interruption and now he understood why no one had come to investigate his shouting and banging. They couldn't hear him inside; his efforts were in vain.

His heart thudded into the back of his throat. Bongju was fading fast. Time was running out. The only person he knew who could break through this was... The Master. But to call him here...

[Ahn Bongju]

Madness used to creep up on him, in moments of clarity and deeply cut loneliness. Nobody except a yin and his master would ever know that kind of loneliness. It was as if a part of him had really been excised from him. There used to be this comfort, this love, this feeling of warmth and acceptance, there used to be another voice in his head, all the time. If he needed to reach out for him, it wouldn't matter how far away he was, they were bonded through their souls, on another level, in another existence. And that was the most beautiful and most comforting feeling in the world.

And without it, everything felt glaringly too real, too hard, gritty, bright. It was like they'd shared their sensory experiences and when they no longer did, it left all of it on Bongju. Yet he only experienced everything ugly. The world was disgusting. The colors were garish, the lights harsh, the voices grating. And worst of all, they were all laughing at him. They were confused by his actions, maybe a little afraid of them. The ravings of a madman tended to scare most people.

Now, madness would have been welcome to this... this ripping and rending, this tearing, this devouring feeling. It was the leftover tendrils of a bond too strong to be severed properly in the first place. And now those tendrils had strangled and tangled around Bongju... only to tear through him. There were no words, only emotions. For once, real terror. Agony.

This was what he wanted all along, was it not? He told them... he said to them that pain was okay. He was fine with death. Dead. He just... he needed to die. Why couldn't they hurry up and kill him? Why... why.... why was it taking so long...?

Gabriel's presence was still near but not near enough. Reaching out blindly, he felt for him, clawed for him. Gabriel!

[Gabriel Lee]

There was no choice. Gabriel couldn't think of anything else that he could do to get Bongju out of the house, so he called him. The Master. There was an undercurrent of annoyance in the response that he received, but also interest. Gabriel felt it and he was relieved--it meant that the Master would come to investigate, and hopefully to save Bongju from the witches.

He waited anxiously outside, watching the shadowy figures in the house moving about. There were two, but neither of them were Bongju. Gabriel pressed his face against an unbroken window pane, peering hard into the dim interior as his heart raced into his throat. A noise behind him caused him to turn, just in time to see the air warping and the Master stepping forward.

"Where are they?" There was no preamble, no smalltalk. The Master's face--youthful, gentle--was jarring in comparison to his sharp tone.

"Inside." Gabriel kept his eyes low, head slightly bowed. He stepped aside as the Master walked toward the house and as if by magic, the back door flung itself open. The barrier inside shimmered, as though someone had struck it with a hammer, then abruptly shattered. Gabriel let out a swift breath of relief and followed the Master inside.

He could feel Bongju now, both his pain and his presence. It hit like a thunderbolt with the barrier down, the emotions and voices and a magic so strong that Gabriel was shocked that two simple witches had brought it all about. As the Master turned into what looked like a living room, Gabriel hurried down the hall, making a beeline for Bongju. He called out his name, each repetition more insistent. Gabriel shoved open a door and burst inside just in time to see a shadowy figure disappearing through another door at the opposite end of the room. No time for the witch, though; he ran to Bongju's side and knelt down by him, grasping onto a cold, clammy hand. "Bongju!"

[Ahn Bongju]

All he wanted was to sever the connection.

Then he could quietly slip from the world, cut the cycle of madness and agony down before it went around again. Everything hurt but it wasn't just a physical pain. If that was all he had to deal with, he could have peacefully accepted it. Instead, it was coming from the core of his being, as if whatever made up the creature that was Ahn Bongju was being ripped apart. His soul. Whatever was left of it.

Gabriel's presence, so wraithlike only a second before, suddenly roared into the room and it brought with it a surge of pain but also awareness. Bongju opened his eyes and he could see him as he remembered him.

No... not quite. There was something off about him. But it was still him, somehow. Bongju stared up at him, bemused. Was he holding his hand?

"Ga...briel." He felt for it. Had it worked?

[Gabriel Lee]

"You're okay now."

Gabriel clutched Bongju's hand, stroking a lock of hair from his forehead. Bongju felt clammy and cold and he could even see the sweat beading along his cheek and the side of his neck. But he was alive. At least he was still alive, and whatever foul magic the witches tried to perform on him was interrupted. Now only the Master's magic surrounded them, pushing back the witches' aura.

He looked over his shoulder at the sound of footsteps but no one came through the doorway. Gabriel let out a quick breath, more of a sigh than an exhale. "We need to get you out of here." It seemed silly to ask if Bongju could stand--not after that ordeal, he couldn't. After one more look over his shoulder, wary but watchful, Gabriel tried to pick Bongju up.

[Ahn Bongju]

Why did it feel like he was burning alive from the inside but he was shivering at the same time? Gabriel. Gabriel was there, close by. Touching him, though just barely. He felt the brush of fingertips against his forehead. For a moment, relief coursed through him. It could be over now and forever and he would be content. Gabriel was here. Closing his eyes, he waited for the next phase of life, the passing, the change.

Whatever changed, however, wasn't what he expected.

As Gabriel went to lift him up, the points of contact burned. What's more, those points of contact seemed to burn more than anything had ever burned in his entire life. Even his death hadn't been so painful. He cried out, then choked on the cry, turning away from Gabriel and attempting to curl into himself. He felt like a leaf shriveling in a fire. Everything felt as if it turned to ashes from the outside in this time. His hands went to his head as some kind of devious whispering began to caress his ears, words that he couldn't make out or understand but wouldn't stop.