Crazy MF.... huh?

[Ezra Chen]

Yeah... me too. :/

What about it is driving you crazy? Hicksville? Too small?

[Lance Huang]

Ugh all of it

I'm from NY, okay. Hazleton could fit into my house, that's how tiny and cramped it is.
And this whole living in the woods thing? Nuh uh. That's not living, that's just camping

There are no stores either. How the hell am I supposed to SHOP FOR ANYTHING??
And the rats.
Did you know there are rats everywhere downtown? It's filthy and disgusting!

(Casually venting to a stranger, nbd.)

[Ezra Chen]

I'll be honest: I'm not wild about this place either. I'm from LA and there's not a lot going for this place.
Why are you here though? If you hate it so much?

Also, you can try going to Portland. It's only about 30-40 mins away.

[Lance Huang]

I'm stuck here. My parents sent me out here to the middle of nowhere because they thought it'd be safer than NY. YEAH RIGHT! Some idiot almost ran me over earlier today!

I also don't have a car.

Do you have a car? You wanna go out with me?
and drive me to Portland? 

[Ezra Chen]

Your parents were mistaken, I'm afraid.

I do have a car but...

You want me to drive you out to Portland?

[Lance Huang]

I'll buy you the best dinner Portland has to offer

If you drive me there and back. ;)

[Ezra Chen]

Doesn't have a car. Parents made him live here...

How old are you?

[Lance Huang]

I'm legal, mister

22 okay? 22 is old enough to buy a man dinner

[Ezra Chen]

(laughs to himself)

Even a man who is a decade older?

[Lance Huang]

Listen, with an ass like yours, I don't care if you're 82

And I'm not pitching marriage here buddy, it's just dinner and a nice long drive in and out of this stupid little hell hole.
If you're lucky, I'll even spring for dessert. ;)

[Ezra Chen]

Pushy little thing, aren't you?

When did you want to do this?

[Lance Huang]

Not pushy, just know what I want.

Let's do it...
Wait

I don't even know your name!

[Ezra Chen]

Oh right. You're...

(scrolls)

Lance.

I'm Ezra Chen. :) Nice to formally meet you. Somewhat.

[Lance Huang]

That

Was totally an old person greeting

(laughs despite himself)

[Ezra Chen]

32 isn't old. :/