So nice to see you [M]

[Aldon Huang]

"I am," he repeated, firmly. "I'm not a good boyfriend but I am. Your boyfriend."

In his mind, he still was. He didn't agree to the break-up. He didn't agree with Ryland always being the one to walk away, then waffling whenever Aldon showed his face, then leading him on and letting him back in only to kick him out again when things got rough. Maybe Aldon wasn't there for Ryland when he needed him but Ryland wasn't always there for Aldon, either--when Aldon needed him but especially when Aldon needed him to take a step back.

He dropped his head to bury his face in Ryland's shoulder, holding on tight. If he didn't, he was afraid that he might be lost. It had already been a year since they last saw each other. Aldon tried to move on but every new face just reminded him of the one he no longer had. The longer he kept away, the crazier he felt. Meanwhile, Ryland was meeting other people over the internet, getting to know them, letting himself grow closer to somebody else. Now he had a new boyfriend...

Was he everything Ryland ever wanted in a lover? Was he better in every way? Did Aldon pale in comparison to that other guy, whatever the hell his name was? Because if not, then Aldon wasn't going to give up. If he wasn't superior in every single goddamn way, he wasn't getting one up on Aldon Huang, not where it came to Ryland.

"Ry..." Tone wistful, he tried to turn Ryland around in his arms, to look him in the eyes. The eyes couldn't lie; Ryland sure could, though.

[Ryland Ren]

"No," he denied, even if there wasn't much vehemence behind it. He broke up with Aldon. They stopped talking. Or rather, Ryland cut Aldon out because he knew something like this would end up happening. And yet here he was, repeating history all over again because he got that Call, the kind with a capital C, the kind that changed everything.

Ryland kept his gaze low as Aldon made an attempt to look at him. He felt like much of his thoughts ended up on his face, despite how he tried and he could feel the piercing concentration of Aldon's gaze on him.

"What?" he asked, heart responding to the wistful tone in Aldon's voice.

[Aldon Huang]

"Are you really giving up on me?"

After all that hard work to reform Aldon from a wild man to a... slightly less wild man? Everybody noticed it; everybody commented on it, the fact that Aldon wasn't 'as crazy' when he was with Ryland. As though somehow having Ryland in his life smoothed out the rough edges and made him a little more whole again, Aldon got to experience moments of peace... in between the fighting. He wouldn't have disagreed, that he was a better person with Ryland. Without Ryland, though...

Slowly Ryland turned in his arms, head lowered to hide his face. To hide the eyes that never lied. Aldon reached up to touch his face, fingertips drifting along his jaw taking the path of his lips just moments ago. His heart did that funny flippy-floppy thing it always did when they were so close and he wanted to kiss Ryland so badly that it became a physical ache.

"Are you... giving up on us?"

The presence of a new boyfriend would have said yes... but the old boyfriend was still here in front of him and he begged to differ. Just like in the elevator, Aldon pressed in closer. Their noses brushed as he lowered his head too, touching his forehead to Ryland's at first. Then--lips. Lips on lips.

[Ryland Ren]

Ouch.

Aldon was really going for the gut punches, wasn't he? Giving up on us, he said--as if there were still an "us" to talk about. They hadn't even seen each other in a year and here Aldon was, talking like it had just been a break. Didn't Aldon have somebody? They both had somebody. Clearly Aldon's wasn't that important.

Or maybe he'd made the whole thing up. Or maybe it was a friends with benefits type of deal. Occasionally, Ryland wondered if that setup would have been better for himself and Aldon but when he really thought about it, he knew it wouldn't ever work. Aldon wasn't really the sharing type, despite how he acted sometimes. And Ryland couldn't put himself in a space where he was in love with several people at once. It would break his head and his heart. He would naturally want to focus and spoil one person. That was just how he was.

On me, on us--the words bounded around his head the way he and his siblings did when they were out hunting in the winter. They rocketed about until they smashed into his heart and it thudded almost painfully when their lips finally met.

Naturally, they used to be this close. So naturally, his body reacted as it typically did when he kissed his boyfriend. He kissed Aldon back. For a second, it was just the mere brush of lips. Then he was leaning into the kiss. A little more pressure. He grasped onto the front of Aldon's shirt to drag him even closer. And the feel of the fabric in his hand brought him back to reality.

With a sharp and sudden gasp, he broke the kiss and quickly turned his head, then swallowed hard.

"That didn't just happen."

[Aldon Huang]

Aldon wasn't the sharing type. And yet... he couldn't stay still, either. He couldn't fully commit. That was what Ryland wanted, wasn't it? To have him, in his entirety?
That was the launching point of a thousand arguments, of sleepless nights and whiling away the angry, lonely, bewildered hours nursing bottles--nothing strong, but strong enough to take the edge off. Aldon rarely appeared ruffled; when he was, he preferred to take it into the woods where nobody could witness him in all his pathetic glory.

Long after Ryland broke away, Aldon stayed in place. He slowly opened his eyes to Ryland shifting his face to the side, chest aching and heart sore. The fingers in his shirt and the tingle of his lips reminded him oh-so-clearly of what he left behind.

Ryland dragged him close, though. Ryland deepened the kiss. Ryland kissed him back.

"Did too," he murmured, closing the gap that Ryland opened up by stepping forward and into him. "You're not giving up on me."

Not even a question this time--a statement. Half a command. Aldon's hands cupped his face, turning it back as lips clashed again, forcefully, demanding and wild. Aldon was the one who wouldn't be pinned down, and Ryland--God bless his little heart--tried so hard to do what countless others before him couldn't. He almost got there, though. Almost made it through the barriers and the walls. Almost.

With the same insistent pressure, Aldon pushed Ryland back, back, towards... something. A wall, maybe. Table, couch, whatever he could get Ryland up against as the heat flared--heat and desperation, heat and possessiveness, heat and the same wanton need that drove him to seek out Ryland in the first place. He broke off only for a breath, a hurried gasp, finally serious.

"This is happening." Ryland could deny it all he wanted but it was happening--had already happened--would happen again.

[Ryland Ren]

No, no. It didn't happen. Didn't happen. Yet he could keep lying to himself with the buzz of Aldon's lips still staining his. Energy thrummed under the surface of his skin, a familiar excitement heating up his body, signaling it in a certain familiar direction.

"No," he said, trying to stand his ground for once. He had a boyfriend. Maybe they just met personally but they had a year's worth of secret sharing and trust holding and giving and and and and and--

Ryland couldn't think. His breath felt stifled in his throat and his chest as lips crashed passionately against his. Aldon refused to give up and Ryland should have known so much better. Aldon had always stolen miles when given the merest inch.

They were moving through the apartment blindly, Aldon pushing in whatever direction he could get away with. Ryland could barely withstand it before the next thing he knew his hand was grasping for the back of the couch as they up and passed it. He breathed in, desperate, helpless.

"Aldon," he breathed, just as his back met the hallway wall. "It shouldn't be." He leaned his head back against the wall behind him. Why were his hands still pulling him in close by the shirt? A part of him wanted to take it off. A part of him was afraid this was going down an all too familiar path. His voice was soft when he spoke next.

"Are you only here because I have somebody else?"

[Aldon Huang]

Aldon had somebody too--somebody new, someone on nearly the opposite end of the spectrum from Ryland--but that didn't mean anything. Not when he was with Ryland. Call him crazy but Aldon thought that it was the same for Ryland, that when they were together, us eclipsed everything else. Other boyfriends, other love interests, they all faded to the background and Ryland came to the foreground.

That was part of the problem. The fact that Aldon cared so much for Ryland that it scared him... that couldn't be so easily ignored. That he alternately feared losing Ryland and getting too close to him created a paradox that seemed to have no solution.

Yet... this still happened.

Electricity and heat thrumming just underneath his skin, buzzing, tingling with excitement, he tumbled through the apartment with Ryland. No--except, yes. Words indicated unwillingness but Ryland was grasping on to him, pulling on him, letting their lips crash and allowing their bodies to collide. He wanted this; every sign pointed to yes, even if he still claimed otherwise. He couldn't lie, though, not to Aldon. Not to Aldon who knew his body so well, inside and out.

When Ryland eased his head back, Aldon kissed his exposed throat. He nipped, bit at the sensitive spot at the juncture between neck and shoulder as his hand slipped underneath Ryland's shirt, bunching it up as he splayed his fingers across warm skin and firm muscle. It was only the softness of Ryland's voice that stopped him from pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it aside.

"...no." Aldon growled--nearly. He paused with his lips at Ryland's throat, tasting the desperate pulse of his heartbeat. It wasn't that. Not really, not at the heart of it. "That's not the only reason."

[Ryland Ren]

"No?"

He wanted it to be true but he was afraid that it wasn't. What if Aldon was really just doing this because he'd heard that Ryland had himself a boyfriend. What had he heard about him? Did it matter? Every single time Ryland tried to do this--to get over Aldon Huang--he ended up back in this same place, with his back against a wall and Aldon kissing his throat, tasting him like he was something delectable and rare, something to savor and treasure.

That was enough to weaken the strongest defenses. Wasn't it? Or was Ryland just weak? He felt like it was just Aldon who managed to break every form of protection he tried to layer around himself. Somehow, he managed to crash his way back into his life, every single time.

"Then why?" HIs voice sounded strained even to his own ears. His damnable eyes closed, his body already caving where the rest of him continued to fight. "What's the other reason?"

He didn't know why he asked but he felt like he stood on the verge of a long drop, a terrifying, dizzy fall that he put himself before just by asking that question.

[Aldon Huang]

Why? Like Aldon hadn't asked himself that a thousand times before, even without Ryland's untimely prompting. He didn't know why. If he knew, he could stop it but he couldn't and it was no good asking Aldon, when he hadn't even figured it out yet.


Ryland's tone reflected how Aldon felt, suddenly tense, like a rubber band stretched taut and nearly at it snapping point. He slowly eased back, breath still coming a little rushed from the dizzying series of kisses earlier. Why? What was the other reason that he kept returning to Ryland's side like a bad penny?

"I... I don't know." The agitation was probably evident in his voice as he swept a hasty hand through his hair, grasping onto the bright strands at the back of his head, tugging in vain. "Just." Aldon let out a swift sigh, a harsh explosion of breath.

"Just. You." Something about Ryland kept pulling him back. Yes, Aldon hated that he had a boyfriend. He hated hearing about the guy from their mutual friends, hated that when he snuck a peek at social media, there were signs and hints that Ryland had found someone new. Not obvious tells, but Aldon knew. He just knew. And the fear of losing Ryland crashed over him in waves, driving him back here. It wasn't only possessiveness or jealousy, though. Those wouldn't get him here, not on their own.

For a long moment he was silent, stonily looking at Ryland. Almost sulky, if one didn't quite know how to read the tension in his jaw or the shift of his eyes or the way he swallowed, extra hard. "You. You're just." The same words kept leaping out of his mouth, but in no sensical order. Aldon swallowed again even as he tipped forward, letting his lips graze Ryland's jaw and then nuzzling him, softly, sweetly, wistfully... pleadingly. He closed his eyes and when he breathed, he breathed Ryland in.

"Ry..."

[Ryland Ren]

Ryland wrinkled his nose slightly. Oh, right. How convenient. He didn't know. He didn't know why he came around only when it looked like Ryland was in danger of falling for somebody that wasn't him. He didn't know why he said sweet things to him while he crushed his body against a wall, knowing full well there was another man out there who loved him.

Was it some kind of weird fetish for him? Did he only find Ryland irresistible when he belonged to somebody else? That was how it seemed and it hurt. All he wanted was a stable relationship with a normal person. Granted, Christian wasn't normal. He was sort of a celebrity and that came with it another set of rules.

But at last Ryland knew the rules when it came to being with Christian. Aldon was... he was like some wild creature that nobody could fully tame. Even Ryland in all his earnestness couldn't seem to keep him caught up in one place, with one person.

What, did he become boring when it was just the two of them? He wanted to ask all those questions and more--so many more--but Aldon had a habit of turning their time alone into something that made a different use of their mouths.

"That's not a real answer." His voice was soft, though, not really chastising, not irritated. It wasn't a real answer though. It was just you. Me. So what about him made Aldon chicken out and run? That seemed more important than what made him come back.

Still, his eyes slid slowly closed as he tilted his head in such a way that he allowed Aldon to nuzzle him so sweetly.

"Did you even really hurt yourself?" Because everything seemed awfully like it was in working order...

[Aldon Huang]

That was the best answer he had, which predictably wasn't good enough for Ryland. When Aldon figured it out, Ryland would be the first--and possibly only--one to know but since he hadn't figured it out, was there any point cornering him about it? The nuzzle signaled that he was over this conversation... and preferred to get them back on track. The track that led them from living room to hallway, en route to bedroom.

Thankfully, Ryland didn't press the issue and Aldon breathed a silent sigh of relief. Then he grinned, with a half-snort of a laugh. Let Ryland bang into the edge of a table, and then he wouldn't be asking dumb questions!

"Yes," he said severely, cocking a brow up at Ryland (who was being rather obliging by letting Aldon have access to his throat). "You're a vet, you gotta look after wounded animals." Like him, with the hurt... area. His hand found Ryland's and he threaded their fingers together, lightly tugging. "I need a full-body examination." A meaningful grin appeared. "In the bedroom."

[Ryland Ren]

They always said it was easier to sin than to perform good deeds. Ryland Ren, he wanted to be a good person. He wanted to be strong, loyal, loving, capable. The problem was that loyalty wasn't on his mind at the moment. It wasn't easy to remember the face of the one he'd just met over the one that had been in his life for a long, long time. And people always said that you never forgot your first love.

It was even harder to forget him if he kept coming back and sweetly nuzzling him and making lewd advances and holding his hand just the way he always did. And the way he kissed him like it might be the last kiss, the way he held him as if he might lose him again--as if it was the wily fox that kept slithering away in this instance.

The intellectual side of his mind said this was a bad idea--that he was going to head down the same old insane path. The emotional side of his mind responded to the witty quips and the light in Aldon's eyes like they'd never been apart.

"You're such a..." He narrowed his eyes and scrunched up his nose like a child, trying to think of the right term. He didn't think of it before he let himself be led to the bedroom. He wasn't proud of it but he drew closer so their arms brushed. He wasn't proud of it but he let their noses brush again as he slid in front of Aldon to open his bedroom door and nudge it open with his heel.

"You're a thief," he decided. But his free hand caressed Aldon as if he were an affectionate pup. His fingers slid over his cheek and then behind his neck. Bad, bad idea. But it was him pulling Aldon in for another kiss this time.

[Aldon Huang]

"I am," Aldon agreed, without knowing what Ryland wanted to brand him as. A bastard, probably. Incorrigible, most likely. Undependable, definitely. A thief, though? Was he? He did steal Ryland's heart... And his time and attention, whenever those strayed towards other people.

Call him selfish (and many did) but Aldon wanted all those things, all for himself--and meanwhile he tried, though not terribly hard, to discover why his heart felt so shaky whenever he and Ryland invariably grew too close. They had been 'together' on and off for years but Aldon had yet to say the L-word and it was probably telling, though--again--Aldon didn't dwell too much on it.

Pleased with the direction that they were headed for the moment, he found his way into the bedroom, whose door Ryland nudged open. Aldon was all smiles when the hand caressed him and he willingly let Ryland pull him in. This time nobody could blame him, Ryland initiated the kiss--but Aldon continued it, slowly shuffling towards the bed.

Kiss followed after kiss; he freed his hand to divest them both of clothing, before gently tugging Ryland down with him. There was no hurry but there was a strained urgency that marked Aldon's restless hands, as he mapped the body that he seemed to still remember so well. It was always like this, whenever they made up. Aldon couldn't quite get enough of Ryland.

Greedily he explored, with fingertips and lips sliding up and down. He knew every inch, where to touch, which part was sensitive to the scrape of teeth or a soft tug with just the edge of his teeth. Slowly, he made his way down, never shy about taking what he desired and the darkness in his eyes was indication enough that he wanted Ryland--badly.

"You missed me," he murmured in a soft little sing-song, somewhere by Ryland's navel. Aldon nipped at his lower stomach--playfully, gently--even as he curled a hand around Ryland and caressed him not-so-gently.

[Ryland Ren]

As much as Ryland wanted to remain blameless in what he was doing, he knew deep down that it took two to do this. It took two to kiss the way they did, to touch the way they did. He also knew he was a fool for letting it happen all over again and yet he couldn't help himself.

There was just something about Aldon. First loves were powerful. People always said you never forgot your first love, even if you moved on. And damn it, Ryland thought he got over it. He was sure he'd moved on, that he'd handed his heart over to somebody else. Finally.

And yet it took, what? Not even an hour with Aldon before he was pulling him into bed with him.

Clothes were discarded and bodies were tangled together in the bed. Ryland wrapped his arms around Aldon. Before he knew it, his eyes were closed and his breath came up shallow. His body was acutely aware of the path that Aldon took, soaking up every sensation from soft lips to warm tongue to the hard nip of teeth.

In response to Aldon's cocky proclamation, Ryland let out a soft gasp. His lower body bucked into Aldon's touch without permission. Reaching down, he let his fingers curl into Aldon's hair.

"You missed me more."

[Aldon Huang]

"Maybe," Aldon replied noncommittally, although he wasn't entirely convinced that he did miss Ryland more than Ryland missed him. All right--he wanted Ryland to miss him more. Maybe it was a tie, the one thing that they were on even footing with, even though Ryland was the one who broke it off in the first place.

Soon Aldon found better employment for his mouth than arguing, so the point was really moot. Did it matter who missed who more? They were here, together, weren't they?

Pleased by the hand in his hair--it definitely wasn't trying to yank him away--and by the way that Ryland jerked into his touch, he couldn't help feeling a little smug about this whole encounter. Aldon was getting what he wanted (Ryland), and Ryland...

Well, Ryland was getting something out of it too!

He bent his head and delicately took Ryland in, bobbing his head slowly around him and working up to a steady rhythm. One hand braced against Ryland's hip while the other crept up his stomach, idly, lazily touching him just for the sake of touching him. Aldon wouldn't really have done this for just anyone--Ryland was special, even though he couldn't even get the word out earlier. But he thought it. He knew it somewhere in his heart, fairly deep down.