We might just miss each other

[Greggory Lennox]

Well, shit. This was unexpected.

He knew Aldon was a mess but now it looked like he was having a mental breakdown right in front of him. Gregg peered out at the street for a moment. Nobody cared what they were doing and truthfully, Gregg didn't much care if they did.

Slowly, he took a seat beside Aldon, the crates groaning beneath his careful weight. He slid his hand over Aldon's shoulder and then up to his head, bringing it in against his chest. Despite himself, he gave a shit. It was like it didn't matter what he said. At this point, he felt like he'd been drawn too far in and he was inextricably entangled.

"You really got to stop saying that."

[Aldon Huang]

Aldon didn't know what to do. Cry or laugh. The one time he wasn't looking for attention, when he wasn't playing up his hurts to earn someone's sympathy, he had it. And it came, of all people, from Gregg. Gregg who barely smiled or laughed, who didn't seem capable of expressing any emotion detectable by ordinary man.

He turned into Gregg, letting out a near-hysterical little laugh. This overture of sympathy suddenly seemed so overwhelming. That tightness in his chest suddenly released with a torrent of emotion. "It was my fault," he babbled almost nonsensically to Gregg's chest, holding on to him so tightly that his fingers hurt.

"I wouldn't say it. He said it all the time and I never said it and then he found somebody else who would say it! And-and then when I tried to tell him he just--"

[Greggory Lennox]

Everything felt surreal in that moment. Laughter and chatter and the whirr of machines played in the background. Sweet and savory scents wafted to their hidden spot with the crates. If Gregg ever had to bet, he'd say he would have been doing something else in a place like this. Holding a broken man was not on the list of things he could remember doing in recent memory.

As gently as he could, he rubbed Aldon's back because that seemed like the thing to do when somebody was sad. Quietly, he assessed the words coming out of Aldon's muffled mouth.

His fault. All right. There was always somebody a little more at fault in breakups. Right? The other part, Gregg had to think about for a moment. He didn't say it? The rest of the lament slotted it all into place. Ah. Love. Well, Gregg couldn't blame Aldon for wanting to hold the words back. They were so often used as a weapon.

It sounded like Aldon was suffering from "too little, too late" syndrome. His old boyfriend moved on without him. (Although it sure didn't seem like it... Gregg was no expert, but that guy seemed on edge.)

"Do you really want to move on?"

[Aldon Huang]

Aldon thought about it as he drowned in the sounds and scents and in his own sorrow. He thought hard, about the heartache and the uncertainty, about the tug-of-war that their relationship had become. The problem wasn't that he didn't love Ryland--it was that he loved Ryland too much.

Something about that wasn't healthy for them. Aldon's silence on the matter of love struck a sour note with Ryland and he in turn always seemed to push Aldon into a corner with his constant attention. There was such a thing as too much affection, too much pressure.

Slowly, he lifted his head and looked up at Gregg. The fact that he was awkwardly rubbing Aldon's back hadn't gone unnoticed. Possibly it was a foreign gesture to him, because he wasn't... the best at it. But he was trying.

"...yes." He thought so. He willed it to be so because he didn't know how long he could go on like this, pretending to be 'okay' and 'fine' just to keep up appearances. Aldon was a good actor but even good actors had their limits. He was fast approaching his and seeing Ryland today, after witnessing him with his boyfriend, broke something inside of Aldon.

Tentatively he arched up, letting his lips graze Gregg's jaw. No bold kiss this time, unlike in the elevator. Just a little brush, almost hesitant. Selfishly he wanted to keep Gregg close, to benefit from the stability that he had come to represent in the midst of so much chaos with Ryland. Aldon closed his eyes and, with a heavy heart, laid his head against Gregg's shoulder. Even if it hurt Gregg... But there was no guarantee that Gregg would be hurt, or that Aldon would be the one to hurt him...

"But only if it's with you."

[Greggory Lennox]

Moving on would be tricky business and Gregg thought that Aldon might just say that he'd be okay again. Instead, he seemed to give the question the thought that it merited.

He wanted to move on. He wanted to. That was the important part. If he wanted to, then it would be possible. If he didn't want to, then it would never happen. That made things slightly easier, Gregg thought, but he was hardly an expert on any of this.

It wasn't even hurt that he protected himself from. It was just the idea of being so open and frank with another person. Most of Gregg's life, he learned to deal with everything on his own. It was easier to quietly compartmentalize things and deal with them only as needed. Sometimes when he watched other people suffering, he couldn't help thinking they did it to themselves by being foolish enough to open themselves up.

On top of it all, Aldon was a werewolf. Something that Gregg hunted.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that things had already become messy without his knowledge. How did he become so careless? If he was already tangled up, he didn't see the problem in just letting himself roll in the webs with Aldon for now.

Besides, he had to admit there was something nice about hearing somebody say that they only wanted something with him.

"Okay," he said, not even fully believing that he himself was saying it. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

[Aldon Huang]

"Yeah?" Aldon lifted his head; his smile carried some of his former spirit. Gregg claimed that he didn't usually date but it seemed that Aldon was the exception. That pleased him and left a small glowing warmth in his chest, where there was once hollow coldness.

Gregg wasn't Ryland but perhaps that was what Aldon needed right now. He'd had Ryland--and look at how that worked out for him! Maybe someone totally different, someone not quite so emotional, would be an easier match for Aldon, who shied away from his own emotions, hoping that his partner would simply 'know' what he felt. (Not that it was a rational point of view, but Aldon never claimed to be the most self-realized person on Earth.)

"Maybe we should go somewhere quieter." He winced; a child was screeching in delight somewhere by the games tents and he could hear it all the way from where he sat. Slowly he straightened and took a in a deep breath to compose himself.

"Let's go somewhere without food," he said, recalling the stomach-turning taste of the strawberry hot dog. Aldon patted his stomach sadly. "If I run out on you randomly, it's just to throw up, okay? Don't be alarmed."

[Greggory Lennox]

"Yeah, those strawberry hot dogs looked pretty bad."

He grimaced slightly. There were some things he wouldn't even eat and that would be one of them--and not just because strawberry made him sick.

Slipping off the crate, he slid his hand into Aldon's. It was weirdly nice to just be with somebody and it was fairly easy for him to simply shove away the things he ought to be thinking about--like hunters and Aldon's previous relationship and doing away with hookers and instead focusing on a relationship.

It had been a long, long time since he had a real relationship. One might argue he never had a real one.

"Do you just want to go back... home?" He hesitated to use the term but... well, he had been staying with Aldon since he'd become a werewolf.

[Aldon Huang]

"I thought they'd be sweet," Aldon said ruefully, now regretting everything that led up to that moment when he put the hot dog into his mouth. Honestly it would have been a novel dessert--perhaps a hot dog made of strawberries and a sweet bun. But no. It was... something else, all right.

Too bad, no one would rub his stomach for him later. He didn't have the heart to ask Gregg--in spirit, it felt all wrong. Ryland had a magical touch and a knack of doing it that nobody else could seemingly compare to. (And truthfully, Aldon didn't exactly want to find out if just anyone could do it, either.)

Hand-in-hand with Gregg, he slipped out of their hiding spot, gazing with a touch of forlorn longing in the direction of the funnel cake stand. Ryland would be long gone by now. It was time he and Gregg left, too, so he nodded.

"Yeah. Let's go home." Which was funny since he had been so eager to get out of the apartment, but now Aldon was weary and the noise irritated him. All he wanted was a quiet place to lay his head, and maybe a hug, which he doubted he was getting out here in public.

"I guess today wasn't all bad," he said thoughtfully as they slipped into a cab, some time later--there were no shortage of taxis waiting around near the exit, hoping to pick up tired fair-goers. "I got a new boyfriend..." Aldon smiled somewhat brightly and cozied up to Gregg in the back of the car.

[Greggory Lennox]

"No, it wasn't all bad."

It didn't feel like a date, which he couldn't decide whether he liked or not. On the one hand, he didn't feel obligated to do any date-like things, like buying dinner and seeing some vapid movie. On the other hand, he would have liked his first date in a long time to actually be a date.

He let Aldon cuddle up to him and even placed an arm around him. If anything, he felt protective toward Aldon. Why? Was it part of the werewolf thing? He heard that there weren't just physical changes. There were mental changes, too.

Back when he began hunting, he thought that meant they lost their humanity. Now it felt almost as if he was regaining his ability to feel after becoming numb to his own emotions. Such a strange revelation.

After a moment, he leaned his head toward Aldon's.

No, it really wasn't all bad.