We might just miss each other

[Aldon Huang]

Okay, yes, it was rude to text somebody on a date. It was even more rude to text an ex-boyfriend on a date but...

But...

But he had no excuses. He was being rude. And yet, he couldn't help it, even as Gregg's comment made him raise his head and offer up a singularly apologetic look. "Y--no, just. A. Friend." He choked on the word. "Might be here."

Yeah, a friend. Aldon sighed and began to pocket his phone. Why did Ryland want to see him? Not to get together--that he made perfectly clear and the small flicker of hope in Aldon died. So he was worried? Hope sprang anew, though he tried hard to stomp on it until it died. Maybe Ryland was curious. What had Alva been telling him anyway?

"Sorry, I'll--" he began, leaning into Gregg to speak since the crowd noise was overwhelming. "Um."

Well. There he was. He really came. At least this time he couldn't say that Aldon forced him to be here, since Aldon made every attempt to rebuff him. He wanted to see Ryland but he didn't want to see the boyfriend--assuming off the bat that Ryland was also here to enjoy the festival with someone he could actually stand, instead of Aldon who had fallen vastly out of favor.

For several moments it felt like time stood still. Then Aldon swallowed and slowly, almost reluctantly, guiltily, lifted a hand in greeting. "Hey... Ry," he said, in equally guilty tones.

[Ryland Ren]

Sometimes, Aldon was the most annoying and frustrating person on the planet to deal with. Alva's concern only heightened Ryland's own concern and of course he worried. It wouldn't be that hard to track him down at the strawberry festival and check on him.

At least, that's what he thought--until he was deep in the midst of crowds of families and children and couples on dates with no sign of Aldon. Was Alva mistaken? Maybe Aldon never came to the festival. But that didn't make sense. He went every year. Every year. He wouldn't skip this year just because they weren't dating anymore.

After hemming and hawing and going back and forth with it, Ryland eventually sent the first text message. The exchange didn't go so well, in his opinion. Aldon was clearly shutting him out, which felt like a personal affront to Ryland. Normally, this was what Ryland did to Aldon but now that the situation was reversed, he didn't know what to think or even quite how to react.

Understanding the recommendation for funnel cakes to mean that Aldon was lurking near a funnel cake vendor, he tucked his phone away and made a beeline for the one he'd passed several times now.

He expected Aldon to be alone and depressed but he was wrong. Aldon was with somebody Ryland had never seen nor met before, somebody that was standing too close. The two of them were leaning into one another like they were speaking in secrets. A new boyfriend?

Like Ryland should care.

Still, he stood awkwardly a few feet away, not even sure what to say or do at that point. The other guy basically looked through Ryland like he was nothing. And Aldon... Aldon looked guilty as sin for some reason.

Why? It's not like we're dating.

"Hi," he said, trying not to sound awkward but doing a poor job of it. I guess he's okay. Was this why he kept insisting he was fine? Because he really was?

"Well," he said, taking a step back and almost bowling over an older woman passing by. He smoothed his hair nervously. "Looks like Alva... got it wrong. You look okay."

He emphasized this with a pair of thumbs ups.

[Aldon Huang]

"I'm--"

Fine.

Not fine.

Fine.

Not fine.

"Fine."

Somehow, Gregg's presence felt overly large beside him, a source of guilt that fed into Aldon's awkward interaction with Ryland. He didn't know what to make of Ryland's expression or reaction.

If Aldon had been more vindictive, he might have taken pleasure in how taken aback Ryland seemed. He would have slid an arm around Gregg's waist, stepped closer to him and introduced him as his date. Because that, in essence, was what Ryland did to him, in the car, with his boyfriend. He flaunted that guy before Aldon, right in front of his face, to show how little he needed Aldon.

But for all his faults--and there were a great many of them, too many to list--he wasn't vindictive and he didn't come here just to throw Gregg's presence into Ryland's face. If anything he wanted to hide, to scurry into a hole and never show his face again.

"Um. This is. This is Gregg," he said haltingly, looking over at his date with a strained smile. It was hard to miss Gregg, how he had that arm around Aldon, hand at his back--something Aldon himself was all too aware of. "Gregg, this is Ryland. My-my friend."

[Ryland Ren]

I'm fine.

That was the kind of thing Alva was talking about. The fine thing. How he smiled just a little too much, just a little too long. Ryland thought something was wrong on an instinctive level but what he saw in front of him said otherwise.

Aldon had moved on.

That was good. It was good. They should both be doing that, moving on. It was just that... wow. Ryland somehow didn't expect this. Was this just somebody he was screwing with or was it... serious? Hard to tell. The guy with Aldon sure looked serious.

"Hey," the Gregg person said, hand still very much conspicuously on Aldon. They were standing so close. It hurt to even look at them. Why am I still here? He had come to make sure Aldon was okay. That was all. And he was. So.

"Hi," Ryland said again. "Gregg."

Friend. Hah. Not the term Ryland would have used. Now he wished desperately that he'd come with somebody. Like his own boyfriend. Gregg made a small sound and nodded slightly. Ryland couldn't help feeling like he thought Ryland was an idiot with the way he looked at him.

"Well, I should let you guys get back to your..." Ryland made a small motion with his hand.

[Aldon Huang]

Date. They were on a date and why the fact made Aldon feel so miserable and torn was anybody's guess.

Probably because every year, Aldon used to come with Ryland. And it was his arm around Ryland, him dragging Ryland around to all the food carts to sample the best that they had to offer, him groaning and making a show of his stomach hurting--just so that later on, Ryland would rub his tummy to make him feel better. It was them, just the two of them, out on dates like these.

Now Aldon was here with someone else, with their arms around him. He was urging someone else to try the plain funnel cake, instead of pushing pieces right up against Ryland's lips, smearing whipped cream and strawberry sauce all over his face then laughing about it and dodging swipes of a vengeful hand.

Nobody was laughing now, least of all Aldon.

"Yeah," he said miserably, finding it hard to look into Ryland's face. "You?" He twisted the earring around and around in his pocket. "Are you here with... your boyfriend?"

[Ryland Ren]

Haha.

He actually let out a laugh. Not entirely amused. Soft. Sort of rueful.

"No."

Ryland didn't come here with Christian. His goal with Chris was to keep him as far away from any time honored Aldon/Ryland traditions as possible. Like the strawberry festival, for example. It didn't seem like Aldon had the same idea, though.

"No," he said again. "I'm here on my own."

[Aldon Huang]

He came for me.

That glaringly obvious fact struck Aldon dumb. His jaw tightened and he could feel something rising in his chest, a miserable ball of longing and regret and hurt and confusion.

Why did Ryland do this? How? How could he do what he did and then come to the festival just to make sure that Aldon was all right? Did he care or didn't he? The mixed signals were hard to decipher and just when Aldon had made up his mind to try and get over Ryland--to really try--he showed up alone.

Aldon felt even guiltier now, for bringing Gregg to the festival. "Oh, I see," he said softly, even though he didn't really see. Then he looked at Gregg, wondering what he made of all of this. Was it obvious, what was going on? There were more than enough rumors by now.

Gregg's my date.

And Ryland didn't come here to get back together with him.

"Well. We really should..." He gestured vaguely to the area behind his shoulder.

[Ryland Ren]

God, Aldon looked good. It was hard not to notice. He obviously came here to be with this... weird man who was watching him with keen eyes. Wary eyes, like he expected Ryland to do something. There was no way that guy was fooled. He had to know that Aldon didn't mean it when he said they were friends.

They certainly weren't friends. They weren't... anything, really. Ryland made that clear when he chose Christian and Aldon made that clear... with this. The two of them could have never been just friends. Maybe... maybe this was for the best, then.

It was good! It really was, that Aldon was moving on. It was unhealthy to keep doing what they did, this dizzying, sickening dance where they left and came back and then left again, breaking hearts in the process. Ryland just sorta always expected to come first for... some stupid reason.

Knowing how these excursions ended for himself and Aldon, he couldn't say that he wanted to be around when all that happened. Why did his traitorous heart hurt so damn much, then?

Ryland smiled.

"Yeah," he said. "You should. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. I have to get going, anyway."

[Aldon Huang]

"I'll call you," said Aldon in a last-minute burst of desperation, reaching out with one hand as though to grasp on to Ryland. But his hand soon fell as he realized what he was doing, and dangled uselessly at his side.

Things were never simple between them. When Ryland had someone, Aldon was free. When Aldon had someone, Ryland came around. He didn't know what that said about them but it was nothing good. This... thing between them wasn't good, it wasn't healthy, anyone could see that.

Tell that to his aching heart, though. Tell that to the part of him that belonged--and always would belong--to Ryland. Tell that to the painful throb in his chest and the heat behind his eyes as he turned away, taking Gregg with him.

"Well that was awkward!" He said it with false cheer, trying to sound nonchalant and coming across forced even to his own ears. Aldon cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Gregg." His hand reached out for Gregg's, latching on, holding it tight. "You're my date."

[Greggory Lennox]

The red-haired man looked like he was about to say something but he brought his hands to his lips and half frowned before he said, "Okay," before taking another step back. The furtive glance he sent Gregg told him that whatever he held back was something he didn't want Gregg hearing. Gregg watched him impassively.

"Later!" The red-head sounded casual enough but there was still something way too off about the tension in the air. Then he was gone, melting into the crowd. It looked like he was heading back toward the entrance. Did he really pay for a ticket to the festival just to bail on it because of this? Gregg's brow raised slightly.

"Are you sure?" he asked. This whole date thing was looking more and more like a bad idea. Gregg should have known the first time in a long time that he decided to go on a date would lead to something like this. This whole thing was the reason he avoided relationships. All this tension, all this awkwardness. It wasn't there with a lady of the night who was just there to do her job and have a good time. Not so much with random people he met.

Random people with histories.

[Aldon Huang]

"Yes!"

Aldon's voice was an octave higher as he nodded, vehemently, so fast that his hair was a blond blur. "Yes I'm sure. Look, they have strawberry hot dogs!" He didn't know how bizarre strawberry hot dogs would taste but he was willing to try them. Anything to stop from replaying the past few minutes in his mind.

"This is disgusting," he said, even as he ate the entire thing, so absent and so distracted that he hardly knew what he was doing. Desperation was setting in. There was a horrible urge inside, crawling and creeping outward, to chase Ryland. Chase him and grab him and explain--

Explain nothing.

There was nothing to explain. Gregg was his date. He, Aldon, was dating Gregg right this second. "You up for some rides?" Maybe the twisting, turning, flipping roller coasters would prove a match for the twisting, turning, flipping sensation in the pit of his stomach, as he looked over his shoulder and didn't see Ryland.

[Greggory Lennox]

"...that seems like a bad idea."

Strawberry hotdogs? Disgusting. Meat and fruit weren't ever meant to mix together, as far as Gregg was concerned. Still, he watched as Aldon stuffed himself. Again, Gregg ate plain food and he ate it slowly. Watching Aldon eat the way he did made him feel sorry for him. That meant he was going to be feeling it later. He'd probably have some mad heartburn.

And then he brought up rides. That... seemed like a bad idea. This was all a bad idea. Even the date was a bad idea. It was obvious that Gregg was tagging along on something with emotional baggage and he didn't much like it.

"Maybe we should go."

[Aldon Huang]

"What? No! I'm fine!"

He was. Fine.

Just fine. Everybody was fine.

Stopping in the middle of a crowded avenue, Aldon turned to Gregg. He ignored the dirty looks and unhappy comments about them blocking the way and looked up at Gregg, into his eyes. Gregg, who didn't deserve to go on a date only to play silent witness to a terrible daytime drama. Gregg, who was innocent, who agreed to come only because Aldon insisted.

"I'm fine." He stepped forward, slipping a hand up against Gregg's chest. He gave it a light pat, a reassuring gesture. "I wanted you to come."

Gregg wasn't Ryland but he was the next best thing. That was both an insult and a compliment, really. He probably didn't want to be the rebound, but there was something about him that attracted Aldon to him, that part wasn't a lie.

"Ry and I--I mean, Ryland and I..." His jaw worked but the words didn't come out for several moments. Aldon dropped his gaze to Gregg's collar; his fingers curled inward slightly.

"There's nothing between us anymore. I want to move on. With you."

[Greggory Lennox]

It didn't seem like nothing. There were a number of things Gregg wanted to say, to address. Yet he didn't because they were in a crowded street and he wasn't prone to laying his heart out--but especially not in view of strangers.

Aldon didn't seem fine to him. That other guy, he didn't seem fine. Whatever happened, it was a mess and it left jagged holes in the both of them. Gregg just didn't want to end up being the little knot of cloth stuffed in the hole to stop the pain. It couldn't last. Neither of them would last like that.

"I don't think you're ready to."

He pulled Aldon away from the people who were moving around them like water over a jutting rock. There was a small alcove nearby, set up with boxes that probably belonged to some of the nearby vendors.

"I told you I don't usually date." And he didn't want to make an exception just to end up in somebody else's mess.

[Aldon Huang]

Aldon allowed himself to be led off to the side without complaint, silent and for once without a ready quip or smile or diversionary tactic. He took a seat on an upturned crate, hands slipping over his knees like an anxious child awaiting punishment.

Gregg wanted no part of this, it was fairly obvious at that point, and Aldon couldn't even blame him. He understood why--he didn't have to like it, but he understood. No one wanted to insert themselves into a mess that they didn't create in the first place. Gregg didn't have to play janitor; he didn't have to try and pick up the pieces that Ryland left behind.

"...okay."

His voice was small, quiet. Aldon certainly felt small. He rubbed his knees absently, rocking forward, then backward. "Okay," he said again, nodding.