Song of Pebble Lake

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

"I was. Toasting. The lake." He looked back over his shoulder at Edel, frowning at his bedraggled state. Those were his clothes Edel were wearing, now ruined by lake water! Although it was also his fault Edel had to jump into the lake in them, to save him.

Back at the cabin, once again, they were both naked but this time there was no party atmosphere. Cris was sulky and drunk and Edel was rightfully indignant, dripping water everywhere and all over the floor. And there was no alcohol left, which made things a thousand times worse.

"It doesn't matter." Cris sat down at one of the tall stools at the kitchen counter, watching Edel struggle with his pants. "My life is gone. Vanished! Poof!"

[Edel Ziegler]

"It is not."

Edel hadn't come here to let Cris throw himself a pity party. He had probably done enough of that by himself this whole time. Edel came here to make sure he didn't do something stupid. Like go wading into the lake while he was drunk. Like kill himself.

Edel didn't want to admit it but he was afraid the whole time, the whole way here, that he was going to be too late. That Cris would follow his father. But then, Cris was a winner. He had to be a winner. That was the problem though. Without money, without family, without anything to his name now, what was he but the opposite of a winner? Edel didn't think that, of course, but Cris was probably wallowing in self pity because he was no longer on top. No longer living the life he was so accustomed to.

But he could still win at things. Just because his father was selfish and stupid and mean didn't mean that Cris had to be. And he was still smart, good-looking, enterprising. Once he pulled himself out of this hole, he could be ten times the man his father was.

"You can build a better one." He grabbed a decorative blanket from the back of a chair and wrapped himself in it before he sat down next to Cris.

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

"It is," he said childishly, reverting back to that dumb back and forth they used to do. Is. Isn't. Is. Isn't. Isn't. Is. Damn. When they went too fast, Cris lost track—it was too easy to switch and get him to stumble over his own words, admitting defeat. For someone who claimed to win a lot, he lost most of the time.

This time was the last time. He did sit here for many days throwing heavy pity parties and drinking himself silly. Some mornings he woke up next to the toilet, stomach heaving, head pounding. The hangover cure was, of course, to drink more. Drink his problems away. Drink the alcohol away—evidenced by the bottles littering the countertop behind him.

Once Edel sat down next to him, he automatically rested his head against Edel's shoulder. Cris hugged him tight to share the warmth of the blanket, since he was too lazy to get one for himself. "Rebuild with what? I'm poorer than Rey right now. I'm hundreds of millions in debt, Edel. You don't even—my dad left so much debt, I can't even pay it off if I sold all my organs!"

[Edel Ziegler]

"You're so full of shit," Edel said. But he didn't know the numbers as well as Cris would know them. Hundreds of millions of dollars in debt? For his father's crimes? It hardly seemed fair but that was the world, wasn't it? The sons paying for the sins of the father, as they said.

"If you sold all your organs, you'd be too dead to care about your debt." And he turned to Cris and looked him straight dead in the eye. "And you're not going to die to escape it."

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

Cris didn't want to believe it either, when he first heard the news. Hundreds of millions. Squandered. Gambled away on shady deals and all his father had to show for it was a criminal record a mile long and a rope from which to hang by. Cris didn't understand all of it but from what he gathered, his father embezzled money to make investments that never panned out. And the people whose money he stole naturally took everything there was to make up for the debt. The assets Cris' father had weren't nearly enough to pay off his debts and so they fell onto Cris' head.

He wished he was exaggerating but he wasn't. He really wasn't. Cris looked Edel back, right in the eyes, and sighed. "There's really no point in living, Edel. What kind of life am I going to have? I can't..." He almost said 'live like a poor person' but had the decency not to. But he thought it.

[Edel Ziegler]

Edel reached out and touched Cris' cheek. It was still a little cold from being outside but Edel's hand was warm from the blanket. Part of him really hoped that Cris was just being facetious but part of him sympathized with his position. Edel might not have done the same in his shoes but he could see why Cris did. Running away and hiding somewhere they couldn't find him--the debtors, the people yammering for their money, the red letters, and the lack of money and support from his own mother.

"You're still going to have your life. You'll marry Jen and find a way to make loads of money by inventing something ridiculous that everybody will want and you'll have an entire empire under your own name."

He gave Cris' chin an affectionate squeeze before lowering his hand.

"And if not, we can fuck off to another country under assumed names and live undercover."

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

Stuff like this—the cheek touching—was the reason why Cris couldn't get over his feelings for Edel. Even now it lingered in the back of his mind, their closeness and their familiarity. Being around Edel was like slipping into a warm bath (which, by the way, would have been great right about now). It felt like easing into a fond embrace.

He nuzzled Edel's hand gently, glad for his presence. Cris had misgivings about telling him where he was but now he was glad that he had a friend here. A real friend. Someone not afraid to tell him when he was being an idiot, but also someone who did it out of a genuine desire to see him succeed—to see him win.

"I think you swallowed too much lake water," he laughed, at the thought of him inventing anything. Marrying Jen, sure. But Jen's inheritance would only cover a part of the debt! Cris resumed leaning into him, shaking his head.

"We? Who is we?"

[Edel Ziegler]

No, he didn't swallow any lake water, thank you! Edel made a slight face to express how he felt about that comment but then he realized a second later that his use of the word we outed him. We, he said. We'll run away. As if it was a given that it would be the two of them against the world.

Shrugging to make it less poignant than it was, Edel said, "You know, us. BFFs. Besides, you think I'm gonna let you have all the fun on your own?"

But really, he would just worry. If Cris disappeared again...

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

You, me, Jen and Rey and maybe Jaime--that was the correct answer to who 'we' was. 'We' should have been the entire group because.. that was how it was. They were like a pack and they stuck together. Some people might have added 'pack of wolves' but generally they were pretty inseparable even if they didn't always all get along.

Cris was taken aback when the answer only included them. The two people presently in the room. He lowered his chin onto Edel's shoulder, mulling it over. He wasn't sure how much fun running off with no money was but... Money wasn't everything after all. Just most things. But not all things.

"Why don't we run away right now then?"

[Edel Ziegler]

Edel wasn't including Rey because in his heart of hearts, he had a feeling how things were going to go down when he learned what happened here. Even if they didn't go all the way, there was certainly something there, something that happened, something that shouldn't have happened. But it did and Rey was so jealous before, when Edel didn't think it was all that reasonable to keep harping on it. Now, though?

As for Jen, he didn't know why he had forgotten her. Edel had no ill will toward her and never did. Of course she should have been included.

At Cris' words, though, he let out a short laugh. Still, he humored him enough to ask, "Where? It can't be somewhere people would think to look, like the Swiss Alps." He smirked. "What do you think about Alaska?"

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

No Jen...

Honestly Cris had a hard time on his own without her. He got used to being taken care of, being told what to do--she was always right though, so it was in his best interests to always listen to her. She... was more like a mother than a girlfriend sometimes. That probably wasn't a good thing, was it?

But Cris was comfortable with her and he was happy. In his simple mind, those two things were enough. Now, though... maybe not. Maybe it wasn't enough to be simply content. He smiled at the side of Edel's throat. Alaska? Shit. They'd probably die.

"Okay," he said anyway because realistically this wasn't happening. Somehow that made his heart a little sore. "Anywhere. If it's just us. Anywhere."

[Edel Ziegler]

"Anywhere?" Edel repeated. Even Alaska? Really, he'd thrown it out there because Alaska wasn't a popular destination for people like Cris or his family. It felt like one of the last places on earth that somebody might look for him. But Alaska could be cool. Edel liked new traveling, he liked new places, new cultures. He wasn't so sure about Cris, though.

"Even the jungles of South America?" he joked. "Or a tiny Nigerian village?"

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

Cris nodded. Anywhere. If Edel was there, it would be bearable at the very least. Of course it wouldn't be like taking a cruise or traveling through Europe, but those things weren't fun without Edel either.

These highly unattractive choices though... Nigeria. The Amazon jungle... Cris frowned at him. "Even hell. I'd go to hell with you." There, let Edel trump that one!

[Edel Ziegler]

Edel gently stroked Cris' hair, musing on the idea of actually running away. It would be a shitty thing for him to do but he knew deep down that if it ended up being what Cris did, Edel would be right there to help. That was just... the sort of friend that he was. Cris needed him so he was there.

And he was especially there because he didn't feel like Cris was... okay. He was breaking. Otherwise that secret of his never would have come out. He must have held onto it for so long. But now he couldn't keep it all together. He was coming apart. Somebody had to stay and stitch back those holes. It should have been Jen, he knew. But he wasn't sorry it was him.

"We're not going to hell," Edel said, a tiny shiver of fear creeping down his spine. Edel had been raised in a catholic home. Despite his questions and his doubts, a part of him still believed in what he'd been taught. And he didn't like the idea of the two of them going to hell. Besides, they had never done anything THAT bad.

"C'mon. Let's go watch over-the-top dramas until we pass out."

[Cristoval de Azcarate]

"I highly doubt that." Cris was a pessimist; he knew he wasn't going up when he died. He'd head straight down. Which was fine because at this rate, hell would be preferable and anyway he was living in a kind of private hell already, hidden away here in the absolute middle of nowhere all by himself.

Part of him was having second thoughts about asking Edel to come down here, too. What about his current situation felt like it was wise to drag his best friend into this? If things went South, Edel might get caught in the cross-fire too. And his life was going pretty well; he had a boyfriend, he was on his way to a promising career.

Guilt made him lower his gaze. "Yeah," he said absently, not moving. What sucked about caring for someone was that it was impossible to be purely selfish. He wished he could be—then it'd be easy to hang on to Edel and let him try to fix things. And he would. Edel was loyal like that. But for all of his faults, Cris wasn't that kind of an asshole.

He pulled back finally, though one arm remained around Edel's waist. "We're not really running away, right? I mean. We can't. You have to go back home."