Awaken

[Cori Viera]

As soon as he got home that night, Cori went straight to bed. He peeled off his clothes and climbed into Lieve's bed and buried his face into the pillow, knowing that he wouldn't be kicked out. Lieve wouldn't do that to him, not at a time like this.

He didn't immediately go to sleep, though. For a long while, Cori laid still and tried to make sense of what happened to him that day. He woke up to cursed hands; he started killing any plant that he touched and in a panic he thought that some old lady he might have bumped in the street had cast a spell on him. Obviously, that wasn't the case and the woman he followed to the Sunrise apartments probably thought he was a creepy weirdo.

That was okay, because he would likely never go there again!

But on the way back home, it started to rain and he took shelter at the animal shelter that Mik's aunt ran. Cori ended up falling asleep there and... then all hell broke loose. He was kidnapped by people whose purpose he didn't know. He met Rip, his brother... ish. A replicate of his real brother Jack. Well, Cori considered Rip his actual brother too, even if they weren't born from the same parents!

Then his powers seemed to run rampant. The cloak. The plants he blew up. The giant bell pepper. Going to see Mik and Rip raised more questions than answers about both of his parents, which wasn't helpful when Cori was already overwhelmed, but at the same time he was comforted by the fact that now he knew what he was. Apparently he was some kind of half-celestial, a sort of demi-god according to Lieve.

He wished he knew what kinds of powers he had, so he could avoid using them by accident! Cori didn't want to blow up any more plants; he didn't want to hurt someone inadvertently. The way Lieve reacted when he touched the light in his chest scared him to death! What if something bad happened? What if he harmed Lieve irreparably? Cori couldn't trust his own limbs now!

Maybe, he thought, he ought to go into isolation for a while until he got a better handle on his powers. Cori turned his head out of the pillow for a moment to watch Lieve getting ready for bed too and frowned. Should he even be here right now? In Lieve's bed? When earlier he might have hurt Lieve? Everybody rushed to reassure him that Lieve was okay but Cori wasn't dumb. He was naive, but not dumb.

The light catching in Lieve's long hair distracted him briefly. His gaze softened, as it always did when Lieve was in the vicinity. Ever since they had been kids, Cori had admired Lieve. He was objectively pretty, no getting around that. It was a fact. And Cori had always had a soft spot for him; he didn't think Lieve had done one thing to make him rethink his feelings about him. Even though he had friends like Mik around, nobody else occupied that special place in his heart the way that Lieve did.

Again, Cori was naive--not dumb. He knew that whatever he felt for Lieve went a shade beyond only friendship. He was friends with Mik but he didn't feel this way towards Mik. He liked Rip a lot but he didn't think about Rip the way he thought about Lieve. There were plenty of very good-looking people within his social sphere but none of them held a candle to Lieve.

Yet, Cori wasn't sure what to do with his feelings. He'd always had them. Since he was old enough to know what 'liking' someone meant, he had felt this way towards Lieve but when he was younger, he didn't know enough to say anything. He simply stayed close and he spent a lot of time with his best friend, finding ways to be with him. Lieve never indicated that he liked Cori that way, either; he kept dating other guys on a semi-serious basis, running through them one after another.

Cori didn't think there was anything wrong with dating a lot of different people; it was normal to want to 'shop around,' as Mik said once. At the same time, Lieve dating everybody but him seemed to send a strong message. Either Lieve didn't want to risk their friendship or he didn't see Cori as anything other than a friend. Or he thought of Cori as a kid, which--lots of people actually did, too. But Cori wasn't a kid. He was sheltered by his mom but even she couldn't stop him from growing up. Cori understood things about relationships, about feelings; he just had nobody to really talk to about any of it so he kept it to himself.

And now with everything so uncertain, it didn't seem like a good time to say anything. Cori half-smiled at Lieve, who had his back turned to him at the moment. Maybe when he got his mom back, he could ask her about how to approach this. She was wise; she always had good advice for him. He didn't want to tell her how he felt about Lieve but maybe she already knew, if she was a full-on celestial. She was always very warm and welcoming to Lieve, treating him almost like another son.

Did she know? Cori had to wonder now. Was that why she encouraged him to hang out with Lieve so much? She nurtured their friendship. Every time Cori talked about Lieve--as he was wont to, since he told his mom just about everything--she had a kind of knowing smile on her face. Or was he... hoping she did, so he wouldn't have to tell her about it in person? Cori buried his face into the pillow again. It smelled nice and floral, fresh like all of Lieve's belongings.

When the bed depressed next to him, he shifted over a little bit and sought out the comforting warmth of Lieve's hand.

[Lieve Averesch]

Out of every day of his life as Lieve Averesch, he could safely say that this one of the worst days of his life. There wasn't much to say on the ride home and then when they did get home, it was straight to bed. Lieve knew that Cori would share his bed with him that night; it didn't even have to be discussed. Whenever times got rough, in his bed was where Cori felt safest, at least, ever since he lost his mother.

Sleep came uneasily. Dreams circulated in his mind and he kept half waking and making sure that Cori was still there. Eventually, the sun began to peek through the gauzy curtains and Lieve scrunched his eyes closed as it stabbed him in the face. Turning over, this time he found that Cori was absent from his bed.

With alarm, he sat up and he immediately sought him out--he was in the kitchen. Thank the spirits.

"I'm taking a shower," he told Cori. "I'll make us some crepes if you want, when I get out."

Yawning, he padded back down the hall, relieved. Okay then. He was... fine. Alive. In the bathroom, he turned on the shower and turned it on hot so he could damn well feel it. The morning was a little chilly, too, so it would help soothe the cold that seeped down into his bones during the night. Plus, he felt yucky from sleeping like shit.

In between readying his shower, he was on his phone, texting Mik and some other friends.

When he got out, he wrapped his long hair up in a towel and began his usual morning ritual, making sure his face didn't break out--he had to watch for that--and brushed his teeth. He was mid-brush when he checked the local Chatterpage. All the color left his face and he accidentally swallowed the toothpaste.

Coughing, he spit out what he could into the sink and rinsed his mouth. Then he sat on the toilet lid and immediately yelled at Mik. What the actual hell?! What an asshole! Lieve expressly told him he would handle it himself. He didn't think he'd ever been so mad at anybody in his entire life than he was right then. Why the fuck couldn't Mik keep his stupid paws out of his life?

Lieve barely even bothered with clothes. Actually, he just grabbed a bathrobe, cinched it around the waist and headed out of the bathroom and down the hall. He set the phone down in front of Cori.

"What is this?" He wasn't angry at Cori. But his tone might have been a little more accusatory than he meant it to be. Usually he did treat Cori like he was glass but this was worse than a slap to the face; this was a knife to the heart. No matter what he heard from Mik, this was just too much.

[Cori Viera]

Cori barely slept that night; when he did, he was troubled by visions of his mother crying inside of a dark room with no window, arms wrapped around herself and her long, dark hair draped over her like a funeral veil. Her sobs echoed into the deepest chambers of his mind, so deep that when he woke up at points during the night he still heard them in his ears.

Before the sun rose, Cori was out of bed, easing slowly out from under Lieve's arm. It had been warm, wrapped up in blankets and in Lieve's embrace, but he couldn't lay still any longer. He had too much anxiety inside; his limbs twitched for want of activity so he got up and padded out of the room. Cori paced around and around the kitchen, thinking... thinking... thinking... A glass of cold milk sat untouched on the kitchen table, as he had poured himself some but was too distracted to drink.

He needed to go.

These powers of his, his family situation, the guys kidnapping him, all of it was bizarre enough and he didn't want to drag Lieve into his problems. This wasn't like somebody pushing Cori in the schoolyard, and he could run to Lieve. This was all too fantastic—in the worst ways possible—and the people involved were too strange, too powerful for Lieve to tangle with them.

Also, Cori himself was a danger now. He shouldn't have come home with Lieve. He should have... he didn't know, hidden out in the woods after he made that plant explode in poor Raphael's room. The bell pepper was a warning. The thing he did to Lieve's heart was a wake-up call that he could not and should not be putting the people he loved in danger!

So he sat down heavily at the kitchen table and put his head between his hands, swallowing past that lump of dread in his throat because he knew Lieve wouldn't like him leaving. Cori hastily threw up a ChatterPage post, hoping that somebody would bite. That way he could tell Lieve he already had a place lined up and... and Lieve couldn't say anything, right? If Cori already agreed to rent a place?

But nobody responded—it was super early in the morning though—and Lieve woke up. Cori jumped when he appeared at the door, which probably was no surprise given how jumpy Cori always was. He nodded miserably when Lieve mentioned showering, and smiled weakly at the idea of crepes. Eating was the last thing on his mind...

Cori kept checking his posting but nobody responded! Then Mik texted him and he... he... didn't know what to say to that so he sent a stupid sad face back and buried his head in his arms. Was it obvious? Mik knew he liked Lieve... Mik was pretty observant. Like he was the snoopy kind of observant, though. Was he going to say something to Lieve? Cori felt the lump of dread growing as he picked up his phone to beg Mik not to say anything, when Lieve reappeared in a robe, looking upset.

"Wha—oh." His posting. Cori looked at it for a good minute or two—actual minutes ticked by—before he looked up again. "Um. I think it's better if I leave. You know, it's..." Under the table his hands scrubbed together, anxiety getting the better of him. Was Lieve mad? Was he super mad? Cori was afraid that he'd pissed Lieve off for good this time but that was better than... exploding him.

"It's just... time for me to go."

[Lieve Averesch]

The silence was killing him. What was he thinking that he couldn't say aloud to his face? Lieve waited and he waited and he waited. It felt like hours more so than minutes but eventually, Cori seemed to find his voice. And there was still no real explanation for it.

"No. It's not."

Was Cori out of his mind? Why was now the time to leave? Did he not think Lieve had the ability to protect him here? Was it because of the whole feelings thing? Did he think Lieve was going to perv on him? After all this time?

"Sweetie," he said, reaching out to brush his hair back. "You shouldn't be out there with a stranger right now."

Alone was bad, but a stranger was even worse! Who knew what kind of creep would get a hold of Cori? Besides, Cori didn't even have a job! How was he going to pay for a place to rent together with some random weirdo?

"Rip and I are going to teach you everything you need to know to protect yourself but in the meantime, we can protect you. If you're out there with all this power and no control over it..." He didn't think he had to finish that but then, he was dealing with Cori so he sighed and he moved over to sit beside him. Before that, though...

"And if this is about what Mik said, he's an idiot, all right? I told him you're not ready for a relationship and it's all he fucking talks about." He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Not everything had to be romantic to work, thank you very much. "I want you here with me, Cori."

[Cori Viera]

"I-I won't be with a stranger, I'm gonna rent a place just for me and..." he trailed off, knowing that what he was about to say sounded dumb—that he could practice restraining his powers all on his own. That visualization thing worked pretty well, right? He could practice that until he wasn't a menace to society any longer...

Lieve also didn't understand that Cori wanted to protect him! Cori shook his head briefly, frustrated by his lack of ability to persuade anybody. He did get flustered easily, and then he babbled nonsense until the other person either got it or gave up. And Lieve wasn't giving up... but he also wasn't getting it...! Argh!

"It's not—not about what Mik said." Cori's face flushed purple. Not even red, straight to purple. He couldn't look Lieve in the eyes. That—that was—and Lieve didn't even feel the same way about him, just like he knew Lieve wouldn't so even if Mik knew how Cori felt, he didn't know how Lieve felt so...

Cori stood abruptly. "I'm just gonna go," he said miserably, with a kind of reluctant finality in his tone. "I've ready decided."

[Lieve Averesch]

That was even worse! Lieve couldn't believe it. Cori would rather be anywhere that wasn't home because of what? What? Lieve didn't even know what he did wrong. Didn't he wrap him up in his arms last night, just like he always did? Didn't he protect him even when Rip turned out to not be so dangerous after all?

And if it wasn't about Mik's stupidity, then why was Cori turning all purple? And why couldn't he look Lieve in the eyes? What the hell did Mik even tell him? Fuck! Fuck that guy!

Lieve reached out and grasped onto Cori's hand to keep him from walking away on him.

"Don't go." How much more plainly could he say it when he already said it? "I want you here with me." Emphasis on want. Lieve couldn't tell Cori what to do; he was the same age as he was and he was an adult. If he really wanted to live on his own... that was his prerogative but coming right after all this... drama? It was wrong. It felt like a bad move.

"You didn't even talk to me about it, Cori," he said, the hurt evident in his voice. "I had to find out through ChatterPage."

[Cori Viera]

The thing about feelings was...

They were kind of stupid. They made people stupid. They made Cori stupid. His feelings for Lieve kept him with Lieve even when it was more prudent to go, to separate himself and isolate himself so that he wouldn't inadvertently hurt him. How could he have been so dumb? How could he put Lieve in harm's way, all because he selfishly wanted to be reassured and comforted?

And he was. Reassured. Comforted. When Lieve wrapped him up in his arms, Cori felt like everything could be okay. Like his powers weren't all that bad, even if he was compared to a demi-god, like maybe he could find his mom even though she was locked away in some black tower in god knows where land... Lieve made everything okay but he couldn't make this bad dream go away. There was no way for Lieve, as clever and as resourceful as he was, to rewind time.

Cori stopped short when his hand was taken though, reluctant to go. Deep down he didn't want to leave, either. Of course he didn't. He loved being with Lieve and these few weeks were both the most terrible and the happiest weeks of his life. Terrible because he lost his mother and happy because he had an excuse to be with Lieve almost all the time.

Oh, Cori didn't hound him or anything like that, but just living under the same roof with him and knowing that he was coming home at night made him happy. He would curl up on the couch to wait, watching a silly show—usually a cartoon. Or he'd putter around the kitchen pulling out veggies that Lieve told him to, waiting for him to come home so they could make dinner together. They sorta fell into a nice little routine... As much as Cori hated to admit it, he was glad Lieve wasn't dating Gilbert anymore. He didn't like that Lieve was hurt by the break-up but selfishly he liked having Lieve's attention back onto himself full-time. And that was not nice. It was not nice at all to feel that way. He should have been sad for Lieve, that another boyfriend had come and gone. He should have wanted Lieve to find happiness with someone else.

"I know you do," he said softly, turning his head to look back at Lieve. "I'm sorry. I should have told you first, not... not put it up there but I..." Cori grasped onto his hand tightly for a long moment as the words struggled to get off the tip of his tongue. "I've stayed too long, Lievie. And with all these weird powers, somebody's gonna get hurt. It can't be you. It can't, I won't let it!"

[Lieve Averesch]

"No, you haven't. There is no time limit on you staying here. There never was."

What part of him made Cori even feel that way? Lieve didn't think of himself as a hard person to live with. Sure, there were plants everywhere and he had that one pet black cat that he'd picked up from the back alley of his botanical shop. But Lieve wasn't a freak about anything, he didn't yell at Cori to do anything; if anything, Cori always seemed happy to help Lieve and it was nice to have somebody to help cook dinner with and to have somebody to curl up with at night and somebody to help him decide where to hang the newest plant he brought home.

Didn't Cori like it? Or was he tired of living like this? He was saying it was his powers but... Was it? Lieve looked at him, pulling him closer by the hand that held his so tightly.

"Don't go into hiding over your powers, Cori." To put it into words he knew Cori would understand, since he loved his cartoons and his Disney movies so much, he asked him, "What happened when Elsa isolated herself, Cori?"

[Cori Viera]

"Elsa?" Cori's grasp weakened, then tightened as his fingers flexed in Lieve's hand. "She... she made everything... She covered the kingdom in ice..." Because Elsa, like Cori, had immense power and with that power came a terrible responsibility. Elsa hid away from her sister because she loved her so much that she sacrificed herself in order to keep Anna safe.

But... that was a movie. Elsa and Anna had happy endings. This was real life and happy endings weren't guaranteed. Not at all. If Cori slipped up on time, if he touched Lieve in a bad way, if he exploded another plant, he might do permanent damage. He wasn't ready to be around people until he understood the scope of his powers, and he didn't know if Lieve or Rip could help him with that. They were putting themselves in danger by associating with him right now, with his emotions and control over his abilities so unstable.

"Lievie. I have to do this." He sat back down, still holding Lieve's hand. Holding hands was safe, right? His heart quivered when he thought about what he did last night to Lieve. He still saw the light in his chest; it pulsed to an irregular rhythm. It seemed... sad, somehow. Dimming, sad, less energetic than he saw yesterday. It was like looking at an emotion, but Cori didn't know how he was doing that, or if he was the one doing anything at all!

Could Lieve see his light though? Cori looked at their clasped hands. Then he looked at his own chest, with his light also sad. An emotion in physical form, his light had twists of fear and uncertainty threaded throughout. Cori lowered his head into Lieve's hand, bowing over it. "I love you too much to stay. I'm not Elsa, I'm Cori. And I'm this weird celestial thing that I didn't even know I was until yesterday, and I blew up plants and hurt you when I touched your light! I'm dangerous! I'm a danger to everyone around me!"

[Lieve Averesch]

"Running away and hiding from the people who care about you isn't what you have to do," he said quietly. Running and hiding was the worst thing he could do right now. Who would be there to help him learn more about his abilities? Cori didn't even know what a celestial was; at least Lieve knew. And Rip knew how his magic worked, somehow. Between the two of them, they could help Cori figure out everything he needed to know.

Noticing that Cori was looking at his chest again, he looked down, too. At first, he thought his robe had fallen open (it had) but it wasn't his bare chest that Cori was staring at. It was the sad little pulse of light emanating from him, nothing at all like the blinding light that Cori started the night before.

And Cori's was dimmer, too.

"Cori..."

He exploded with words and emotion and Lieve blinked. Oh... They... they didn't really talk about what happened, did they? Was Cori under the impression this entire time that he had hurt Lieve, even after he assured him he was fine? Of course he was, because that did sound like something Lieve would do.

"Cori, baby... you didn't hurt me last night." How to put it? There really was no delicate way to put it. He couldn't even remember feeling this intensely embarrassed about something in his entire life. And normally, there was pretty much nothing he hid from Cori. Not that he intentionally hid this...

"You... kinda... it was sort of like you... It made me feel really good, actually. Like an orgasm. It didn't hurt. You didn't hurt me."

[Cori Viera]

There it was. Confirmation. The thing he feared, confirmation that he did hurt Lieve. Or worse, he feared that Lieve would continue to insist that he was fine while he was not fine—not fine at all—just to save Cori a little bit of heartache. But see, the thing was, Cori already knew he hurt his beautiful, precious Lieve and the immense guilt of that was crushing his soul and diminishing his heart's light.

And see? He knew Lieve would say that—that he didn't hurt him. But Lieve made that awful noise and he jerked away and looked so... so shocked and so pained (Cori thought)! How could that be anything other than injury? To the heart's light! To something that Cori was sure he shouldn't have touched! That no one should touch!

Because! It...

"Bwaht?" He mashed two words together—but and what—and his mouth fell open. Wide open. Big enough to have a truck drive through it, that kind of open. "Or-orgasm?!" Cori jerked his hand out of Lieve's very quickly, in case now his touch was bad-touching people into feeling orgasmic. "I raped you?!"

[Lieve Averesch]

That
Was not what he expected out of Cori.

"Wh-what? No! You didn't rape me!"

How could he think that he—? Quickly, Lieve reached out and took Cori's hand back. He could understand why Cori wouldn't want to touch him if he thought his hands were evil or his powers were evil? But it was exactly the opposite. He was a celestial. A Holy One. A healer.

"I think you touched my heart. Magically. In a good way, Cori."

But Cori was so quick to think the worst of himself for some reason. He used to be so optimistic and happy. When did it all change? When did he become so down on himself? Over his power?

"You're a celestial, sweetie. That means you heal people. You bring out the best in people. And plants. You haven't done anything terrible. Think about it. And what you did to my heart... it was probably just... here."

He brought Cori's hand towards his heart.

"I'll show you."

[Cori Viera]

"But you didn't ask for it and I made you! I made you! I touched you without your permission!" Cori despaired at ever being able to feel normal again. He felt dirty all over, like somebody had dunked him in mud. He did something even worse to Lieve than hurt him—he violated his heart's light. Was that why it dimmed?! Was that why it was no longer as bright as it was last night?

Cori did used to be very optimistic and happy and bubbly. Back when he was the human and watching all of these miracles happen around him, he bore no responsibility for anything that happened. He got to be in awe, amazed by the speedy growth of a leaf or the reversal of fortune of a poor plant that had been left out in the sun too long.

Now that he was the miracle, everything suddenly had consequences. Anything he did had consequences and he was overwhelmed by all of the things he did, by the things he didn't know he was capable of. Everything was new, and everything new was terrifying when he had no idea why or how he did it. He had no control over himself, that was the biggest problem—he couldn't even touch a leaf without it either withering into dust or growing into the size of an umbrella!

Lieve was doing his best to reassure him—as always—but Cori was terrified. He shook his head, trying to pull his hand away. "No! Nonono Lieve no I'll hurt you again no please please! Don't let me hurt you!" He saw the light in Lieve's chest, clear as day, flickering like a jewel. And his fingertips just barely encountered it before he yanked his hand away and crushed it into his own chest, pressing it to his own pounding heart.

The light flared again, even from the barest contact. It shone so brightly that Cori had to squint. His own light flared as well, making it hard to look anywhere without being completely overwhelmed. "Lieve? Lievie?!" He rushed forward to grasp onto Lieve's shoulders, peering at him with haunted eyes. "Lieve tell me you're okay!"

[Lieve Averesch]

"You don't need my permission," Lieve said, he thought that went without saying. Cori was always clinging onto him and hiding behind him and standing close to him. And Lieve didn't mind it. Never had. He thought Cori knew that he could touch him whenever he felt like it, whether it was to pull a leaf from his hair or, you know, touching his heart.

"It's okay," he tried to reassure Cori but he was fighting him the whole time, so afraid of hurting Lieve despite all the reassurances in the world. In the end, he just barely brushed his heart light this time--although it didn't stop it from glowing brilliantly again. And it still gave him that sort of... ecstatic feeling from before. He thought he was ready for it but he wasn't; it wasn't quite as strong as last time, since it was just a second long brush, but... It definitely had a physical reaction on him just like before.

Biting down on his lower lip, he tried not to make any sounds that might frighten Cori but he was already beyond frightened. And this time, his hand was touching his own heart. Lieve didn't know what to expect from that but... it did cause something to happen, sort of a chain reaction.

"Ahhh, it's... it's fine," he said, feeling flushed. Why did it feel so good? Even the brush of his fingertips could make him feel like his legs were mush. And his heart beat faster and faster.

"I'm okay," he told Cori, "I'm telling you. It's... it's..."

How did he get it across to him that it wasn't bad? That he wasn't killing Lieve? The way Cori looked at him, he could have literally just shot him with a gun. That was how horrified he looked. Lieve slid his hands up to Cori's face to cup it, smiling.

"It's good," he whispered, as if it was a secret. He didn't know what it was doing, but it was like it... opened his heart. And maybe that was why, even though he had been telling himself not to do this, and that it was terrible timing, and that he was going to scare Cori away for good, he unwisely leaned in. And before he could tell himself otherwise, that heady, glowing feeling in his heart pushed him to the edge. He kissed Cori.

[Cori Viera]

See, Lieve wasn't fine! People who were fine didn't start breathing heavier—though not heavily, just... heavier—and they didn't turn a little pink in the cheeks. With how much attention Cori was paying to Lieve, scanning him with hawk-like focus to see if anything was wrong, he couldn't fail to notice the physical signs.

And yet, he felt it too. A little... little something, a jolt that made him feel unexpectedly squirmy inside. It felt good, even though in the moment he didn't realize it. To him, it felt strange. Not bad, but strange and definitely not normal, that when he touched Lieve's light, he should feel something too.

"Is it?" Cori whispered back worriedly—since Lieve was whispering and appearing uncharacteristically secretive and shy. Normally Lieve didn't whisper to him unless they were in bed, and Cori was dropping off to sleep. Then there were gentle whispers. Good night. Sweet dreams. Plans for the next day, little odd musings that Lieve thought might be soothing—and they always were. They always were soothing, tender whispers.

"You're not h—" Lieve came closer, Cori blinked. Lieve's lips touched his and Cori froze up, not knowing why they were kissing in this moment of great distress. But then—just like the whispers at night—a blanket was thrown over the tumult inside and he gradually opened up into the kiss. Cori had kissed other guys before. Not often, but a few times somebody worked up the courage to plant one on him. He knew the basics of it, although to say that he was good would have been a stretch.

Something familiar in the kiss made Cori close his eyes, just to feel. His heart throbbed sweetly but painfully as his secret yearnings and desires were laid bare. Grasping on to Lieve's robe, Cori pulled him in closer so that the kiss wouldn't have to break.