Can't run, can't hide

[Wade Calhoun]

That's because I do.

It's a bad habit.
I can't help myself.
I'm a butt patting, winking kinda guy. ;)

[Declan Finnigan]

That so?

Not the settling down type?

[Wade Calhoun]

Hey
I didn't say that
But no, never really thought so

[Declan Finnigan]

What changed?
If you're calling us family, you're ready to settle down

[Wade Calhoun]

Pretty sure it has something to do with you two. :)

[Declan Finnigan]

Smooth talkin fella aren't you?

Lily better not learn to talk like this from you

[Wade Calhoun]

She might.
And what if she does?
A girl's gotta know how to talk circles around fellas.
Or other girls. I'm not judging.

[Declan Finnigan]

Maybe our girl just needs to not be around other smooth talkin fellas

[Wade Calhoun]

Now that's not avoidable unless we lock her up
And we're not locking her up

[Declan Finnigan]

I'm not touched in the head Wade,  I wouldn't do that to her

I'm going to vet all her boyfriends

[Wade Calhoun]

Some advice?

Let's not be too obvious if we don't like one of em
Because turns out teenagers get pretty clingy when their parents don't like their boyfriends
Or girlfriends
Again, no judgment

[Declan Finnigan]

You be the nice one to their faces
Make em feel welcome and accepted
You got that warm way about you, it'll lure em into a false sense of security

I'll be the one out back waiting to break their legs

Teamwork

And I don't care who Lily dates
So long as it's someone decent

[Wade Calhoun]

That's a good plan for the assholes.

As long as it's just for the assholes.

In this scenario, I'm feeling a lot like a mom. Should I be baking cookies and telling them they're too skinny?

[Declan Finnigan]

Don't think most moms are the butt patting, winking types

But you do cook real good
...maybe you are the mom

[Wade Calhoun]

Hey you don't know that!
I could be giving gentle pats of encouragement, probably to the head, though, be kinda weird to pat a kid's ass.
Illegal, as well as immoral.
And winks of... well I'm not sure what moms wink about but I'm sure they do in a nonsexual way.

I think you want me to be the mom so you're not.