avatar_Raphael Malai

Apple polisher

Started by Raphael Malai, Feb 13, 2020, 10:52 PM

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  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
Ah... one of those types.
Is he hiding in the closet?

Also
I know that far too well...
I wouldn't recommend my coping mechanisms to a student.
Or anybody with a liver for that matter....

Let's just say there's little point in trying to suppress your feelings.
They find a way out, sooner or later.

Oh no sir, he has plenty of consorts. You see, he's someone very important where we come from. There's no shortage of people looking to get a leg up on the social ladder, if you know what I mean.

And I don't suppress my feelings, I told him but
He seems to be very
Guarded?

I'm trying to replace him with someone in town 😄

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
Consorts? Who calls them consorts any more? Is he a medieval king? 😆

Hm.
He might be trying to keep you from getting hurt.
Sometimes
People push other people away because
They don't want them to get hurt.

Also
That's a terrible idea every which way.
You'll hurt that person because your feelings aren't genuine
And that person will hurt other people because they feel a sense of abandonment
It's an ugly cycle
Trust me.

#18
Oh I'm sorry, I should have said
Concubines?
Um... bitches! 😆

He... is not that kind of person to think immediately of others...
Maybe do you think he doesn't want to be hurt?

Oh well
I do like Wesley. Just maybe not as much as Rhys. Those are their names by the way hehe.
But I've known Rhys my whole life. My mother groomed me to be his companion.  She's
One of those people trying to get a leg up, you see.

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
...that's a way of putting it, I suppose.

Very insightful! That's a distinct possibility.

So you're settling for second best in lieu of the one you really have feelings for.
It still seems... less than ideal but you can't make people love you.
The grooming part is honestly a little disturbing.
Are your parents arranging a marriage?

Oh well
I can make people love me, it's not actually that hard but
It's a lot of work
I'd rather he liked me of his own accord

My mother is deeply obsessed with his father
She wanted a girl to marry into his family, but she had 7 sons...

She's very disappointed in all of us
I don't suppose she loves us very much either

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
...All right, well... you shouldn't try to make people love you.

*has no idea what to make of Raf's family but is seriously starting to think he's in a cult*

Is your family very
religious?

Oh... yes... Of course, if you say so, professor, I won't do it.

*has and probably will again*

Haha no, we
We don't believe in god

We believe in something else
They're called Ancients

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
*sounding very very cultish*

That's
interesting.

Your family life sounds like it's not healthy
satisfying

Maybe you're trying to create something new for yourself?

I wouldn't call us a family
My brothers all have different fathers
We're only really loosely connected by our mother

I
Have always wanted to come to the outside, professor

I see people here being happy even when they're alone and I would like that for myself

I have seen you being happy too. :) When you have lunch outside with that nice man on campus.
What's that like?

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
That's a good first step, being honest with yourself and not suppressing feelings.
You know what you want, that's good.
It might be difficult to...
extricate yourself from your circumstances but it's possible.

What it's like to be happy?
With him, specifically? Or in general?
Honestly, these days, it's sort of smashed together.

Oh you're being so kind. You are a wonderful person, I don't care what the others say.

It's impossible for me to leave. I won't be welcomed anywhere else...
And they usually kill anyone who tries to escape! That's very upsetting, I think.

Oh you're in love. Haha that's what it means isn't it? When happiness becomes the person you're with?
Does he love you back? Will you be together forever?

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
What? My students are talking shit behind my back?
...that sounds about right. Names please.

They kill people who try to leave?
You are welcomed here. With me. I won't let anybody kill you.

I'm in love, yes. And it's an accurate way of putting it. Nobody could make me happier.
Of course he loves me back.
Hard to say but I hope so.

Only a few very bad ones.
But they're wrong and I'm going to tell them that the next time I see them!

Really? I can stay
with you? Do you really mean that?

Can
I
be
your son?

(Jack already got one crazy son... meet crazy son #2)

  • There's pain I kept buried deep inside myself I've been saying for forever "hey that's not me" But me with you is who I think I'll always be
  • King
  • 1,073 posts
  • Hiding amongst the lambs
  • 33
  • 6'2"
You don't have to do that. I'm sure their grades will weed them out...

If you're not welcome anywhere else, you always have a place with me, so
of course!
Anything to get you out of that toxic environment.

Another person who wants to call me daddy...
Sure, why not add another one...

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