Twinkle, twinkle, little star

[Brayden Smith]

Friends.

Was there ever a more damning word in the entire English language than friends?

After that night, they became friends. Jack didn't remember anything that he said or did--or claimed so--and Bray didn't push him to remember. It seemed better not to bring up the kisses--plural--or the admissions--plural--of weakness. It seemed better to let it go, to be satisfied in the knowledge that he now knew more about Jack than he did... oh, two days ago.

Remarkable how much ground they covered in the span of only two days and two nights.

But it was undeniable that after spending two nights in bed with Jack, helping to stave off nightmares, Bray and he were friends. Dare he even think it, good friends? Two people who went through the ordeals they did couldn't remain strangers. They worked together so on a daily basis they bumped into one another-simply acquaintances didn't cut it, either.

They lived so close to each other that it was only a matter of crossing the courtyard to visit. That made them good friends, for which Bray was both relieved and glad. Overjoyed, really. Sure, it was bittersweet to think that he and Jack could have been more--if only he'd given in to temptation that night and let Jack persuade him into sleeping with him--but Bray regretted nothing.

He cared so much for Jack. It was crazy but it was also true. There was no law saying that he couldn't come to feel deeply for a man he knew almost nothing about a week ago. The feelings sort of blindsided him, though. He didn't realize it until that night. He didn't even know the severity of his own feelings until Jack claimed that he wanted to die and Bray's whole world ground to a halt.

A world without Jack... Bray simply couldn't envision such a thing--and that was how he knew that he cared.

That weekend felt like a fever dream, in a good way. Bray stayed the next day to help Jack recover from his hangover--and Jack seemed perfectly content to let Bray wait on him hand and foot. His glass of lemon water didn't go empty once. Bray himself, overly eager to please on a bad day, ran himself ragged but it was a labor of love and he wanted to do it. He was pretty sure he did fall asleep on the couch at some point, though, leaving Jack to wonder where he'd gotten to with lunch. When he woke up there was a sandwich on the nearby table and a blanket over him, and both made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

The next week went swimmingly too. Bray was no longer alone. He was no longer alone! He felt good waking up Monday morning for the first time in years. There was something to look forward to now--mornings stopping by Jack's office for a quick chat, lunches with him in the staff room fondly watching him laughing and joking with other professors and evenings where it was just them, sharing a meal, talking about nothing at all.

Several times during the week he was tempted by an overwhelming urge to kiss Jack but he didn't go for it. He just sort of shuffled in closer when that happened and found some excuse to touch Jack's hand or arm. Kiddy stuff, Ali would have said, with his head shake of infinite disapproval. Part of him maybe hoped that Jack could read minds and might kiss him--giving him an excuse to kiss back--but it didn't happen. Ah, well.

Jack really did bring back the color into his world though. In fact, Bray went out and bought a turquoise tie. He showed it somewhat childishly proudly to Jack the next morning when he wore it to work (but also self-consciously changed out of it when someone commented on it not being his usual color).

Friday night rolled around and Bray roped Jack into playing Unstable Unicorns, a funny little card game that he'd excitedly picked up at the hobby store downtown. Now that he had a close neighbor and good friend nearby, he could finally go out and buy games meant for more than one person!

Bray had a blast. He loved staying in and being all cozy at home, feeling comfortable, safe and happy. And not alone. With two people it was a little tricky playing the game but they managed to get through it, although he sensed that Jack was getting kind of antsy. Card games and popcorn weren't exactly his cup of tea, was it? Not when Jack was the outgoing type who easily went out with co-workers to bars and came home blitzed. But the alcohol... Bray didn't think it did Jack any favors.

Saying good-night that night felt a little strange. Bray didn't know why until he got into bed and realized that he wanted to be in Jack's bed. He really, really did want to curl up with Jack and be comforted knowing that he was close by, within reach. Bray reached out a hand to touch the edge of his pillow, sighing, eyes on the window. There was a bright star twinkling and winking down at him. His lips twitched as he closed his eyes.

Nope.

Bray already had his star and he would not be seduced by another, even if it promised to only shine for him.