The Lucky One

[Kenneth Branagh]

Niall was acting funny and his eyes were glowing. Ken couldn't comprehend what was going on and his bemusement didn't seem to affect Niall. In fact, Niall seemed... relaxed. Too relaxed. A little giddy and a little out of it, and his words sometimes slurred into each other. Ken opened his mouth to ask whether Niall heard any noises, then, but his words were cut off abruptly.

This time, he didn't kiss back, although it would be a lie to say that he wasn't affected by the feel of Niall's hands against his hair, or that he didn't instinctively want to draw him close. Ken pulled back and shook his head. "Niall, stop. Stop it. You're--" Drunk, he wanted to say. Yes, Niall was acting tipsy, but there was no alcohol on his breath.

There was something else on his breath, though. Something sweet and cloying--something that Ken had tasted before, when he was exposing himself to the supernatural drugs in this area. His hunter contacts had told him about a drug that was being shuttled out of Hazleton; everyone tasted the tiniest bit of it, just to know what they were dealing with. He hadn't taken enough to gain the full effect, but even then Ken felt its power.

Ken gently held him at arms' length. "Niall. Did you take anything while I was gone?"

If nobody had come inside then the only logical explanation to Niall acting strange would be drugs. Ken knew of drugs that witches and the like made here. Even some faes contributed, sprinkling in the dust from their wings to produce potent magical concoctions. That might explain the eyes--some drugs produced by magical means manifested in strange ways.

[Niall Gallagher]

Stop? Stop? Why stop? Niall didn't understand what Ken wanted from him. First he showed up and he played with his feelings and said he thought they'd be together forever but he didn't let Niall kiss him properly. And he wouldn't stop with the momming, constantly on Niall for doing whatever he wanted--but Niall was old enough to make his own choices! Whether that meant kissing somebody or taking a little boost to get him through the hangover, why did it have to matter so damn much to Ken?

He didn't like being held at arm's length or being questioned or accused. He stared at Ken, clearly hurt that he would even ask him such a question! Niall huffed and moved away, ducking from Ken's arms and prancing toward the couch bed, where he dropped down, not even caring that his robe swung open in the process.

"Yes, Ken, if you must know," Niall said, pressing an arm over his forehead and looking at him in amusement. He laughed. "I took something." He crossed an ankle over his knee. "I took a bath. S'why I'm all wet." He ruffled a hand through his wet hair. "More importantly, you should be asking Niall, do you feel better? Because the answer is a resounding yes. I feel a lot better after my bath, Kenny, thanks for asking."

[Kenneth Branagh]

"I'm--"

Ken watched Niall suddenly wrench himself away and in the back of his worried, troubled mind, he felt Niall's absence from his arms acutely. But more pressing to the situation at hand was the drug working its way through Niall's veins. It was drugs. Ken must have missed something in his early morning purge. Someone enterprising like Niall probably had it stashed away somewhere and Ken hadn't caught it. A vent? A spot under the couch bed that he hadn't seen? Inside some innocuous container?

His eyes dropped to the open robe but he said nothing. He let Niall have his say, sounding hurt and offended, and it was true--Ken didn't ask how he was, or if he felt better. Ken had been worried sick that someone might have come in to prey on him and hurt him. Ken was frantic inside at just the thought of Niall in pain or Niall suffering.

"I'm sorry," he said softly after Niall had finished, walking over to the couch bed and sitting on it beside him. "Please, don't... don't be angry. I was worried. I thought that woman from last night might have..." Ken ran a hand over his face as he lowered his head. His fingers slid into his hair and he dragged his nails along his skull, to the back of his head where he clutched at his own hair in agitation.

Niall was high again, and there was no point arguing with him until he came back down from the skies. Ken turned to him and gently pulled the robes closed around his waist. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Niall."

[Niall Gallagher]

Turning his head toward Ken as he sat down, Niall let out a soft sigh, then reached out for him hesitantly. Then he lightly stroked his back, since that was what he could reach. He'd rather caress a thigh or pet his head but this was about it from his current vantage point.

"She did," Niall said after a moment. He closed one eye and made a quiet crossbow thunk sound. Ken hit it right on target, uncannily. How did he manage to do that? Duh, right. Hunter. Maybe he sensed her. Maybe that detector that went off tattled. "She did try to come in but I kept the chain on the door so she couldn't come in."

He said it like a child waiting to be praised for his good deeds. Look at him, good Niall, not letting the vampire in for a good time! And if Ken needed proof, he could take another look at his throat, which was healing nicely, thank you very much.

"And I thank you, for thinking of me." He didn't even notice his state of undress even as Ken closed the robe in his prude way. Ken had always been like that, as far back as Niall knew him. How two people as different as the two of them had ever become friends, let alone fallen for one another, who could tell? Still lightly stroking Ken's back, he asked, "What are you so afraid of, Kenny?"

[Kenneth Branagh]

"What?!"

Ken lifted his head abruptly to stare at Niall. But Niall said that no one had come inside and... Ah. He didn't let her in. The revelation was a huge relief but Ken's heart didn't stop thudding for a good twenty seconds afterwards. That damned leech, she had tried to get to Niall again while Ken was away. In the span of only half an hour, this happened.

"Thank God," Ken sighed as he reached for Niall, grabbing him in a tight hug. Niall was fine. He was okay, except for the drugs. The marks on his throat were healing and that woman hadn't gotten what she wanted from him. Small victories. Small victories, but important progress.

But while Niall's hand at his back was soothing, his question was unnerving. Ken turned his head into Niall's damp hair. He breathed him in, the sweet, clean scent of the bath bomb. There was so much that Ken, the fearless legacy hunter, was afraid of. So much that he held close to his heart, bottled away inside.

He was afraid that he would wake up one day and Niall would be gone again. He was afraid that if he left again, Niall would no longer be with him when he returned. That he would find Niall sprawled on the bed or in the bathtub, overdosed on drugs, pale and unresponsive. He was afraid that Niall didn't love him as much as he loved Niall. He was afraid that his past actions would always present itself as a wedge between them. He was so, so afraid that he would fail.

"I'm afraid to lose..." Ken swallowed. They were alone again, finally. "To lose the only person I love."

[Niall Gallagher]

What? What? Oh. The JC thing. Niall found himself pressed into a tight hug quite unexpectedly but it wasn't unwanted. He smiled as he was embraced. See, he did the right thing. He just... didn't tell Ken that she happened to sneak him a little something when she came by. That would be his little secret, especially since if he prattled on about how he got to this point, Ken might go kill her and wasn't there enough violence in the world without Ken beheading one of his dealers?

Now he made inane shapes against Ken's back as they embraced and he settled his cheek down against Ken's shoulder. What was Ken so afraid of? It was a bigger question than his high little mind could even fathom and yet he asked it because it seemed so... simple. Ken was obviously afraid of something. There was panic in his tone, in the beat of his heart, in the crease between his brows. Something was definitely riling him up but it seemed like it had been there since the moment they reunited.

"Mhm..." He hummed, urging Ken to finish his sentence. He was afraid to lose--yes, Niall knew that Ken liked to be Mr. Perfect. Not that he necessarily minded coming in second or whatever but he definitely had super high standards he seemed to force himself to live up to. Standards that had been created by his parents, no doubt. Niall knew a little about that, although he had since thrown away the need to live up to his parents' standards.

What Niall didn't know what to do with was that last part. The only person he loved? Niall felt the words profoundly but he wasn't sure if he fully grasped them in his current state. Blinking, he lifted his head and stared at Ken. Hands moved up to take Ken's face in his hands. It could be anyone but Ken was here and he was worried and he was constantly hounding Niall to clean up his act.

"Me?" he asked, still somewhat surprised even as he said the word and yet still, hopeful. He wanted them to be together forever when they were younger.

"Someday, we'll get out of here," Niall said, kicking his feet through the water as he sat on the bank of the lake. He curled his toes in and out. "We can go see the sights. Instead of goats and sheep, we'll see punk concerts and dance at big gala events together."

The two things were very different but he figured, so were they as a couple. He slid his hand over Ken's and leaned against him.

"We can get couple tattoos!" He laughed and kicked out at the water before winding his foot around Ken's ankle. "What do you say to that?" He turned toward Ken to peck him on the lips, smiling. "I can design them. Black sheep, white sheep. Black sheep, white goat. The real mascots of Dingle, Ireland."

Without removing his hands, he leaned forward, so their noses brushed and their foreheads touched. "If it's me, I'm not going anywhere. See? I'm right here with you."

[Kenneth Branagh]

"You."

No one came close to Niall. Ken could never forget the swoop in his stomach when he first met Niall in that big old manor, when out of all five boys lined up in a row like soldiers, Niall was the only one who beamed at him. He couldn't forget the shine in Niall's eyes as they stared at the stars together--as Niall looked into the heavens with that faraway look in his eyes, and Ken focused only on the shape of his profile and the tilt of his nose and the curve of his lips as he spoke of wondrous, strange, marvelous, absurd things.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Niall. In pleasant dreams he saw them together, laughing and running carefree and barefoot over the grassy green hills of their home. In nightmares he saw Niall as he saw his parents, laying pale and cold, drained of life. Lately, there were so many more nightmares than dreams. Lately, he felt something ominous looming over him like a storm cloud and he didn't know what to do with that feeling. It frightened him, this invisible foe preying on him.

"You. Only you. Always, always you." Ken's hands slid up to cup Niall's cheeks. His fingertips curled inwards just slightly, exerting faint pressure to keep him in place, but also to feel him. Really feel him, the damp of his curls and the warmth of his skin. Ken closed his eyes because a terrible heat was building behind them and he didn't want Niall to see it.

"I can't lose you again. Maybe you're here now but... but... What if the drugs and the... the vampires, they... " He pressed his lips together and breathed in deep to calm himself. Ken was supposed to be the composed one and the good little soldier. He was taught to keep his emotions at bay, to always use knowledge and wisdom to guide his words and actions.

But he kept seeing it. The nightmarish scene playing out before him in his sleep. Niall laying on the ground, limbs splayed. Dead. Niall, dead, never to laugh or smile or tease him again.

"Why do I have to be a goat?!" Ken laughed indignantly as he lightly bonked his forehead against Niall's. He didn't think he wanted to go to a rock concert much and his da would absolutely murder him if he ever got a tattoo. He was happy here. Here with Niall, in their secret swimming hole, all alone. He liked the feel of Niall's hand against his and he liked the way that Niall looked at him like he was the only person on Earth worth looking at.

"I don't want to be anything but... yours." It was cheesy, a totally hammy thing to say, but in that moment he believed it. Ken leaned in this time and pecked Niall on the lips. "And you can't be anything but mine. Deal?"

"I don't know how to love anybody else, Poodles."

[Niall Gallagher]

"Hey, hey. You're not. I'm here, just like I said. No vampires, no drugs."

Well, maybe a little in the way of drugs but a tiny bit of prystal wasn't going to kill him or take him away. If anything, it made it easier to be close to Ken like this. Every touch was that much more pleasurable and even the sound of Ken's voice caressed his ears and sent a thrill down his spine. He closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying Ken's hands on him, letting his face warm to his touch. After a moment, he ran his hands over Ken's wrists, although it was slightly awkward with that damned cast he kept forgetting about.

"Niall?"

When Niall didn't answer, the front door opened. Words couldn't move through his numb tongue and he could see Jordan's sneakers when he entered, upside down where he was lying on the ground beside the couch bed. At some point, he fell off and he couldn't get up. His body didn't want to do anything and even when it did manage to move, it wasn't of Niall's own accord.

"Jaadaan..."

The name barely slipped past his lips as he stared up at him, eyes filled with tears. Jordan immediately rushed to his side and grabbed his arm to check his pulse.

"JESUS H CHRIST, Niall!" Jordan's eyes widened. "You barely got a pulse!"

He started to twitch when he tried to reach up. His vision went white.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital. Niall slowly opened his eyes to find Jordan flipping through some magazine where he sat beside him. When he saw Niall's eyes had opened, he immediately stood up and called for a nurse, then looked back over at Niall.

"Don't say anything," he pleaded, just before a nurse came in to check his vitals.

He stroked Ken's hands. Death. Ken was afraid Niall was going to take that final kiss of death and he didn't even know what Niall had been through. Somehow, he just knew. Niall wondered if he felt it, wherever he was. Did he feel it when Niall was dying? Did he feel it when Niall was so sad that he wanted to die?

"You don't have to," he told Ken. And Niall didn't have to try loving anybody else, either. It could just be them again, just like when they were young. Only now they had freedom to do what they wanted. They could hold hands in public. They could hug, kiss, stare all they wanted. And Niall knew Ken stared because Niall stared, too.

"You don't have to," he said again. "Do you know how long it took me to forget you?" He lowered his voice. "And how many people I called Kenny on accident?"

[Kenneth Branagh]

That was a lie.

There were vampires and there were drugs.

There was a vampire in the room next to theirs and there were drugs swimming through Niall's veins, making his eyes glow, tainting his breath with the sweetness of dark magic. Ken shook his head in silence because he couldn't believe Niall in that moment, when he lied to his face. When they were staring at each other, green-gray eyes into blue, and all that fell from his lips were lies.

But Ken didn't blame him; he couldn't blame Niall. It was the drugs that made him this way, and his own addiction. Ken knew a little something about addiction because what he felt for Niall felt an awful lot like it: that itch under his skin, the insidious crawling creeping craving just below the surface, for ten years. A decade of withdrawal and pain and agony, every second that stretched on like a mile, were signs of an addiction that he was hopeless against.

He shook his head and Niall's eyes shifted, from green to gray to gold to green again. Ken's vision swam for just a moment. His breath came up fast, ragged, but he was also relieved. That wasn't a lie, was it? Niall could lie about the vampires and the drugs but he wasn't lying about that--about his own lingering feelings. It was in the eyes--it was always in the eyes. The beautiful, magical, entrancing eyes that held Ken within their thrall the moment--the split, infinitesimal second--that they were first introduced.

And Niall couldn't forget him now. Not now, when Ken was right in front of him. Niall didn't need to call anyone else by Ken's name because Ken was right here.

"Together?"

Ken was nervous; he had never done anything like this before. When he thought of swimming, he thought of the community center and the crowded pool where his father taught him how to swim. It would save his life one day, he said.

Knowing how to swim was only one of many activities that Ken had throughout the day, after school concluded. He had lessons in swimming, fencing, archery and shooting. He learned self-defense and practiced martial arts. He pored over his father's tomes on the supernatural and practiced tuning the fine instruments that would detect any magic around them.

But Ken had never done this before. He swallowed hard, nervously clinging to Niall's hand. The lake looked deep. Not fathomless, but he couldn't see the bottom of it at the center, and it was cold. He looked over at Niall and something in Niall's smile gave him strength. "Together, right?" Ken asked again, and nodded as Niall nodded.

"Okay, on three. One... two... threeeeeeeee!"

"The drugs... the vampires... they can't love you back, Niall." Maybe Niall was too high to comprehend his words, but Ken had to get them out now. Something in Niall's eyes and smile, fuzzy as they both were, gave him strength. Being with Niall had always made him bolder, more fearless, more open to life in all of its glory.

"I can." He kissed Niall in desperation, pressing their lips together fervidly. "Only I can love you back. And I need you, Poodles. I need you to love me more than you love them."

[Niall Gallagher]

"I know that, silly."

Vampires were not lovers. They were monsters. Since he was old enough to comprehend the words coming out of his father's mouth, Niall heard all about how nasty the monsters were. In all honesty, the stories scared him and gave him all manner of nightmares. The things he was taught when he was so young... Niall didn't think they should have been taught at that age. But what did he know? After all, he was just the child living in torment. The old man was the father, who supposedly knew best for his children.

Strange how Ken rebuffed his advances but now Ken was the one holding desperately to him. Niall closed his eyes to revel in the moment, smiling despite how sad he felt deep inside. There were holes inside of him, ragged, unhealed holes that Niall had nursed with rushed relationships, with sex and drugs, with passive suicide attempts. Niall's eyes remained closed as he held Ken close.

"Is that what's wrong?" he asked, voice low, as if somebody was listening through the walls. "I don't love those things, Ken. I just... need them to erase what I don't want to remember." He laughed, self deprecating as he finally leaned back and his fingers brushed against Ken's warm lips. "But it seems like the harder I try to suppress things, the harder they fight back to be remembered." His gaze fell away. "In nightmares, mostly."

[Kenneth Branagh]

"I know."

Maybe Niall loved what they could do for him; their ability to drown out the voices and the memories and to put a band-aid on the scars. But the wounds were still there, still festering beneath the surface. That wouldn't change, no matter how many vampires he sought or how many pills he popped.

Ken took a hold of his hand, lowering it from his lips. Niall had been alone, all the way out here, separated from his family and from his home. He had to face his demons all alone and he couldn't cope with them. No one could possibly blame him, a young man cast out of his home, bewildered and isolated. There was no support for them back then. Ken retreated and distanced himself and there was no one left when Niall needed someone to lean on. So he turned to vices--drugs, drink, the scavengers who took advantage of him at his weakest moments.

But he wasn't alone now, was he?

"I'm here now. You don't have to... suppress all of it. I can help you work through it, Poodles." He laced their fingers together and leaned closer, eager to help--desperate to help and desperate to make up for the mistakes of the past. "Together, right? We did everything together. We can do this, too."

[Niall Gallagher]

There were nights when the nightmares were more real than he cared to admit. Those were the nights when he couldn't get back to sleep and he wouldn't even bother trying. Instead, he'd pull on something to wear and he'd go out. Sometimes he'd try JC's place, sometimes Jordan's. Depending on the time of night, they may or may not be home to answer. If not them, then Niall went out on his own, looking for any others that would be willing to sell him something, spend some time with him, anything--anything--to make it all stop for a while.

Something told him there would be a lot less of that with Ken staying at his place. If anything, Ken seemed like he wanted Niall to come to him instead. But what then? Ken didn't have anything to offer in the way of drugs or mind numbing supernatural skills. But... he did have the advantage of being Kenny. Long lost BFF. Long lost almost-boyfriend. Long lost everything, in a way.

Niall took in a breath and he drew a knee up to rest his chin against. Their fingers laced together did feel nice. Extra nice under the influence of prystal. Niall closed his eyes and he smiled.

"Together," he echoed. A part of him didn't know if it was true--that they could get through it together. But it was something that hadn't been tried. And in truth, Ken was part of his trauma so maybe... maybe if they mended things... He slid his eyes open and slowly peered in Ken's direction.

"I'm actually high right now," he confessed, since he'd lied about it earlier and he was naive enough to believe Ken didn't notice. (Yes, he thought he was THAT good at disguising it.) "But I really didn't let JC in. The vampire. Promise."

[Kenneth Branagh]

"I know," Ken sighed as he slid higher up on the bed to sit side-by-side with Niall, resting against him. Even in this, their bodies seemed to fit. Arm against arm, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. Nothing sexual in the way that they were close, but they felt intimate.

"I'll have to tell you everything again when you're sober."

He smiled at Niall, however—a cheeky little lopsided grin. Maybe Niall would remember everything. Maybe he would only remember a portion. Hopefully the part where Ken confessed to loving him would make it. He wasn't the type to be effusive with the words, but his feelings managed to show themelves in actions. At least, he hoped so.

He thought that he had come a long way from the repressed, shy boy of long ago. The murky waters of adolescence had long since cleared into maturity and Ken was no longer bound by that terrible, consuming fear of discovery. After all, they had been discovered; the people to whom it mattered already knew. Dealing with the aftermath was difficult, but so was hiding who he was—even from himself.

"We'll take it slow. One day at a time, all right?" He tipped his head towards Niall and rested it against his, blond hair mingling with brown. The black sheep and the white... goat. But Ken preferred white knight.

"Everybody misses you, Niall." He flexed his fingers against Niall's hand, stroking the back of it absently, gently. "But I missed you the most. Finding you... that was what kept me going."

[Niall Gallagher]

"Nuh-uh..." He denied that Ken knew but he didn't actually care if he knew or not. Everything felt so good. Blissful. His eyes kept half closing and he smiled at nothing and Ken at the same time. It was nice, being close to Ken again. It was nice just being close to somebody without knowing that it was going to go somewhere sexual. Not that Niall minded having sex but there was something comforting in knowing that being close to him didn't only hinge on being sexual. It made him feel little again, although not back when it was him and Ken, but back when he was really, really little, when his mother still sang to him and he still curled up against her in her big chair and she told him stories while she threaded her fingers through his unruly hair.

Sober. He slightly wrinkled his nose at the mention of sobriety but he said nothing for or against it. For now, he was in his happy place, doped up, close to a warm body. He didn't need anything else in life. Just arms around him and a head against his. Speaking softly. Something about slow. Something about one day at a time. Niall made some kind of agreeable humming sound in response.

It didn't seem real, that people missed him. For so many years, he fretted over how little his family cared that he had gone without warning. He hurt himself thinking over and over again--why didn't they find this evidence, that evidence, this trail or that trail? Was he not obvious enough? Were they not good enough? No, that definitely it wasn't that. So of course, that dark, ugly demon inside told him that nobody cared. That he had been right; they were living an easier life without him. Ken, too. Ken especially.

And now Ken was saying that he missed him the most, that finding him was his mission.

"I forgot how to keep going." Even now, this wasn't moving forward, was it? It was just Niall still in the same place, in every way. Emotionally, physically, mentally. He didn't know how to keep going. Not in any practical sense. And he didn't know how to find a purpose in life. Somewhere along the way, he'd lost all sense of that, of even being a person. Mostly it was just a dreamer that occasionally woke to an ugly world and then went back to the dream world, where everything felt warm and snug. Just like right now.

[Kenneth Branagh]

Ken had always heard the saying that you never knew what you had until it was gone, but he didn't understand the scope of it until Niall truly disappeared. He didn't know what he expected when all hell broke lose and their lives were completely upset, but he never thought that Niall would run away. Not just out of Dingle, but out of the country altogether.

"Niall's gone."

Ken stared at Danny, uncomprehending, as Danny paced around and around the room with his hands in his hair.

"He's gone, Ken. Run away from home. Nobody knows where he is and dad he... He won't let us look for Niall."

Ken still stared. What... did that mean? What did running away entail? Gone? Gone? He shook his head, each movement jerky and robotic. "Wha...t?" he asked at last, as his thoughts finally caught up with what Danny was trying to tell him.

"Gone!" Danny had never seemed this frazzled before. He usually took things easy; he wasn't the type to get riled up over nothing. Maybe that made things so much worse. It drove the point home more clearly than his words did.

"Gone... He... he's gone?" The chair that Ken was sitting in clattered as he shot up suddenly. All the world rushed back and it felt like it rushed back straight into his ears, creating a pulsing, deafening roar. "He can't be... gone! We have to find him!"

"We can't! Dad says he'll come back in a few weeks but..." Danny looked unsure. He bit down on his lower lip and stopped pacing, but he looked every bit as disturbed as Ken felt.

Slowly, Ken sat back down. "But he can't be. I just--I just saw him yesterday..."

It felt like just yesterday that Niall left, and Ken was stranded in a town where everyone knew what he was and hated him for it. He should have run away with Niall. He ought to have packed his bags and tried to look for him when the trails were fresh. Ken was an able hunter--one of the best. He could have caught up with Niall.

But he was still afraid; still young. Ken waited for weeks, months, hoping that Niall would return and when he didn't, it felt as if a part of him shriveled up and collapsed in on itself. The wreckage of a friendship, of a budding relationship, left a hole in his heart and he didn't know how to cope. The days ran into one another and the longer that he waited, the larger the yawning hole grew, and the more frantic his desperation grew until he--snapped. And he did pack his bags, against his parents' wishes. Against Colm Sr.'s wishes.

Ken lowered his head against Niall's shoulder. "Me too." They existed. Both of them existed in some kind of private hell, separated and alone. Ken forgot how to live and Niall forgot how to keep going. It was impossible to recover the past but it didn't seem impossible to reach for a better future when they were together like this.

"We'll learn together." One day at a time. One moment at a time.