Wizards and potions and drugs, oh my!

[Scyon Kan]

Ow ow ow, hot hot HOT!

Scy juggled the thermos as he spilled a little bit of soup onto the back of his hand, trying not to upend the entire thing onto his kitchen floor--or over his own body. He quickly put the thermos down and ran his smarting hand under some cold water, while uttering a (tame) curse under his breath. It really wasn't like him to be this distracted but he had good reason to be, after talking with Ember.

Finding out that his boyfriend was a drug dealer and manufacturer was sort of a big deal. Ember had no reason to lie to him about it; it wasn't like he was fighting for Scy's heart. More like he never lost it.

Scy had to admit that when Ember disappeared off the face of the planet a year ago, it stung. He thought that he'd been abandoned, and that the steady progression of their relationship towards something serious had scared Ember off. So he turned to another man, trying to fill the gaps and holes in his broken heart, in case Ember never came back.

For a while, he was happy. He thought he was happy. Sure, he and Ams had their ups and downs, but he cared about Ams and Ams seemed to care about him. Granted, being a drug dealer didn't mean that Ams was incapable of falling in love or of caring for another person. But Scy couldn't see him in the same light after all that he'd learned. He still needed to hear more from Ember to confirm his suspicions, but he had to admit that it wasn't looking good for them--for himself and Ams, that was.

For himself and Ember... Wellll... there was that saying about first loves, and how one never got over them. Not really. Not when that first love came back into town and accidentally dialed him up. Of course, Ember might have contacted him sooner, but it sounded like he'd been through a lot and Scy, being the bleeding heart that he was, couldn't find it in himself to hold a grudge. Everyone made mistakes, after all.

He dried his hand on a hand towel and returned to the thermos to fill it up. It had potatoes and leeks in it, a thick and savory soup that he remembered Ember being particularly fond of. Scy packed it away, along with a good-sized chunk of crusty French bread, and then headed out the door. Luckily, Ams was out for the day. Scy wondered if he was out making drugs and the thought in and of itself made him feel... saddened, really. Betrayed. Lost. Were there signs all along, that he turned a blind eye to? Or was it impossible to truly know someone, even after having been with them for the better part of a year?

On the bus, Scy settled back in his seat with a long sigh. He wished that someone could tell him how to feel right now. About Ams. About Ember. About his pulse racing every time he thought about what Ember said--that he was the only one Ember could ever love. That... was pretty significant. Maybe Ember was right, in that they'd never broken up, and that technically they were still together. Were they, though? Together? Would anything change, with an entire year separating them?

Scy rubbed the bridge of his nose absently, lost in thought as the bus trundled towards the downtown area. He already knew in his heart of hearts that there was no contest. Given the choice between Ember and Ams, he would easily choose the former over the latter. Even if Ams hadn't turned out to be a drug dealer and awful evil wizard (he grimaced at himself, and such a childish turn of phrase), he would still have drifted back to Ember. Love worked like that; it wasn't rational or kind at all sometimes.

Ember also needed him, and Scy needed to be needed. It gave him purpose, a greater calling, to take care of others. People called him selfless, but really, he thought that it was just the opposite. He was pretty selfish too, in his own way. Scy looked gloomily down at the thermos and tightened the cap of it. Was it silly to hope that things could go back to the way they were, before Ember went off in search of... whatever it was that he sought? Power? Almost none of it made sense to Scy but he tried to understand. It was something Ember needed to do. Without him.

The bus rolled itself into the downtown area and past the tall, newly renovated apartment buildings clustered together. Scy quickly pulled the cord and jumped off the bus, then sped toward one of the buildings. He couldn't help the way that his pulse quickened, or that his mouth suddenly felt dry. He even got a bit dizzy, as he entered the lobby, although that could have been just excitement. Lots of excitement. Lots of that, and adrenaline, and a mixture of hope and anticipation and nervousness. The butterflies were in a frenzy in the pit of his stomach as he got up the elevator, and he had to try really hard not to start hyperventilating as he got up to the door.

Self-consciously, Scy smoothed his sweater and brushed fingers through his hair. He rapped with the knuckles of his free hand, and without realizing it, held his breath as he waited.

Trash Bat Estember Calderon 

[Estember Calderon]

What were the chances? Ember didn't believe in coincidences. Fate connected him to Scyon Kan. For sure, it had connected them that night. Why his number? Why did he pick up? It happened for a reason and Ember hoped it was for a good one. The cynical side of him--the side that endured far too much during his trials and tribulations in the past year without Scy--said that there was no way fate could be so kind after the rough treatment it had pulled him through already.

But maybe this was the treat at the end of the stick. It could be a trap. It could just be motivation. Heh. Well, it was damn good motivation. Part of Ember knew that he should keep Scy out of his life, that he should have played dumb or aloof to protect Ember but he was damned selfish, too. Ember would never love anybody else again, of this he was certain. It wasn't because this was his first love, either. It was more the emptiness that was slowly numbing his heart. Where Ember used to feel, there was now an indifferent hole. Scy, though. Scy could fill it. Nobody else could do it.

Ember perched in his computer chair, absently staring at the screen in front of him. Scy's name wasn't there for the breach call. Neither was Amory Nova's. It was probably some throwaway name Nova had given somebody. Why he had the gall to connect it to his so-called boyfriend's number, Ember didn't know. He hoped Scy wasn't being used as a scapegoat. There was so much Scy needed to know about the Nova family. Surely he'd see that Ember wasn't trying to split them up out of jealousy but concern.

Maybe. No, he was sure Scy would know. He'd understand. He'd always been a sweetheart and maybe a little too gullible but this wasn't about trickery.

Ember ran his hand over his shoulder and rolled his neck back to relieve some pressure. He should probably get up. He didn't know how far Scy was but he'd be here eventually. Ember actually was wearing a pair of grey sweats but that was it and he could be a brat and answer the door in just that. He could be--he smirked at the thought--but he'd go easy on poor Scy for now. Getting up, he grabbed a t-shirt from his bureau and pulled it on over his head. Smoothing his hair into something resembling style, he ambled into the front room.

Should he get something out? Food? Drinks? Scy was bringing soup. That was pretty much both things rolled into one. So Ember set himself down on the couch cross-legged and he waited with bated breath. When the knock finally came, he nearly jumped straight out of his skin. Then he nearly flipped himself end over end in his eagerness to get up from his awkward position. Eventually, he made it to his feet and managed to get to the front door. Cool as a cucumber, he opened it and smiled his best smile.

"Scy~" he sang. "So good to see you again."

And indeed, it was. Scy looked... good. Memories were nice but they were never anything close to the real thing. They didn't make the heart jolt the way it did when Ember saw HIM in person. They paled against the stark contrast of reality. Although it had been about a year, Ember felt starved for Scy's attention, so he reached out and drew him into a tight embrace. If something made him disappear in this moment, he was damn well taking his Scy with him.

[Scyon Kan]

Scy could have done that too--stand in the doorway all nonchalant, with a smooth line ready to go. Something cool and suave. But he wasn't really that type. Any ideas he may have had for a triumphant entrance was blown to bits once the door opened and Ember stood in the doorway, with a cool and suave line of his own.

"H-i." It took an amazing amount of effort to spit out the one word, as Scy stood awkwardly in the hallway, staring at Ember. There was no other appropriate word for it, either. He stared. The last time he saw Ember was a year ago, and then... never again. Seeing him now, in the flesh, was like a miracle. A dream. Scy would have pinched himself, if Ember hadn't come at him first and grabbed him in a tight hug.

Sure beat a pinch on the arm.

Mechanically, Scy's free arm lifted to return the hug. He dropped the bag with the thermos of soup and the bread in it and his other arm joined the first, hugging Ember fiercely and just as tightly. "Hi," he whispered again, breathless and elated. This was almost too good to be true. Almost. Ember felt real, though, and he was warm and solid and there. This wasn't like all those nights, when he'd dream about Ember coming back, only to wake up to cold sheets and disappointment.

"Hi." He laughed a little, deliriously, at his own stupidity. Didn't he know any other words besides "hi"? His mind was blank. Scy buried his face into Ember's shoulder and took a long, deep breath. It felt like the breath of life; every part of him was thrumming and singing and buzzing with excitement.

"It's really you..."

[Estember Calderon]

Dreams and figments of memories were nothing in the face of reality. A pleasurable reality for once. Ember hadn't shared all that he had been through since going through with that ritual and what it meant but there would be time enough for that. Ember felt as if he had too much time--as long as he remained useful to the Forgotten--and Scy... Well, Scy was beside him now. Rather, he was pressed against him in a tight hug.

Ember didn't want to let go of him. God, he was so warm and he smelled so good. Clean. Pure. Funny because he didn't look that way at first sight. People assumed there was a bad guy lurking under the leather and the tattoos, the dark eye makeup. But Ember knew. He was so different from the perception people built of him and that was part of his appeal, part of what attracted Ember.

He needed this. He needed his dark looking angel back in his life. More than he realized, actually, until he was right there. For once, he could swear he felt again and that in itself was intoxicating. Lately, he felt as if his emotions had been dampening over time and he worried it had something to do with the "price" he was meant to pay for the gifts he received. Later, though. Later he would tell Scy about it. At the moment, he was just too ecstatic to have him back.

"In the flesh," he said as he tilted his head so that he could brush his head against the head that rested on his shoulder. Lightly, he rocked Scy back and forth. Usually, that kind of hug was reserved for people in tears or in grief or something but right now, it was out of pure affection. Ember couldn't quite erase his fond smile. He reached up to filter his fingers through Scy's dark hair.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he murmured, almost inaudibly before he kissed Scy on the side of the head.

[Scyon Kan]

Between the two of them, Ember looked the part of the angel, fair-haired and blue-eyed and pale-skinned. The smile that curved on his lips lit Scy up from the inside. They might not have looked like they belonged together, but that was the beauty of fate. No one could say for certain what attracted two people, and what made up the chemistry that sparked between them.

Scy pulled away to look at Ember, hardly able to stop himself from grinning like it was going out of style. He felt like a kid with his first crush, bursting with too much emotion. His hands slid up to cradle Ember's face and he leaned in. It was wrong—he hadn't properly broken up with Ams yet—but Scy couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop his heart from beating too fast, or make himself feel any less strongly towards Ember.

Whatever drove Ember to leave didn't matter in that moment. All that mattered was that he was back again, and that he hadn't forgotten Scy. Ember still wanted him; he wanted Ember, too. Scy clutched at him so hard that he stumbled forward a small step. Somewhere behind him, a door opened and Scy's eyes flew open, too. Ah—right. He was still half outside in the hallway, where anyone could see him.

Sheepishly, he edged inside and toed the door closed behind him. Once they were hidden from view, he felt a little bolder. "I thought you were going to just wear these..." he grinned, reaching down to jiggle the pocket of Ember's sweatpants.

[Estember Calderon]

That was his soft, affectionate Scy to the core. No matter what people thought or said behind his back, Ember knew the truth. Somehow, he'd always known the truth. Funny how it worked with them, the darker of the pair being so innocent and naive in his way and the fairer being the sardonic punk with a bit of an attitude problem. Ember was never an angel, despite appearances although once he wasn't a devil, either. Now, he couldn't be sure.

That would come in due time. Right now, he just wanted to be in the moment. The warmth, the safety, the feeling of being loved and... the feeling of caring for--loving--somebody else. He thought it was disappearing but with Scy close and stumbling into him and smiling at him, he felt so much more human. Much more like himself and less like a tool for darkness.

Slyly, Ember looked down at his t-shirt and the sweatpants. His smile was lazy as he slid his hands down Scy's waist.

"I was..." he admitted, him impish smile growing. "But I didn't want to get you too excited too fast." He winked as he drew Scy closer and further inside. The door was already closed behind them but they still weren't quite close enough. His gaze searched Scy's for a long moment and he wanted to say it--what was on the tip of his tongue. I can't believe you're here. Scy was breaking all kinds of self-imposed moral rules of conduct just by being here and this close. The Scy Ember knew would never cheat but... They all had that Person, didn't they?

So he didn't say it. Instead, he did what he'd been thinking about doing the moment he saw that familiar face in his doorway. He tugged Scy in closer and he kissed him. Not a peck on the lips, either. A proper kiss. A kiss from lover to lover, from lovers that had been pulled apart by circumstance but couldn't seem to stay apart.

[Scyon Kan]

Ams didn't deserve this, even if he wasn't what he pretended to be. The guilt gnawing at Scy, just at the back of his mind, proved that he wasn't completely amoral but even so... Even despite his feelings for Ams, this trumped everything. Ember was more important than anything and anyone else.

Ember was everything. Before he left, while he was gone and now, with his return, he was everything to Scy. He was that one in a million, once in a lifetime, love at first sight. That wasn't much of an exaggeration; Scy was pretty sure that he knew Ember was the one from the first words they exchanged.

He wasn't crazy, though. It wasn't like he was obsessive about Ember, or that he stalked Ember everywhere for weeks. He was certain and confident in what they had. He knew his own feelings were valid and it didn't take a genius to figure out that Ember reciprocated. In fact, he said as much—that Scy would be the only men he ever loved. That was enough to quell the feeling of guilt rising up inside, and push it far back and deep down, out of the way.

Scy returned the kiss eagerly, no longer shy now that they were all alone. Arguably, Scy had never been shy. He was quiet and he was different; people misinterpreted that as either shyness or hostility but it was neither. Most of the time it wasn't worth the trouble to engage and anyway, when they were together, it was usually Ember drawing the ire of those around them.

They really couldn't have been more different as people but when they were like this, things fell into place. Scy pulled away briefly, letting out a soft, pleased sigh. He smiled, keeping his eyes closed as if he could preserve the moment and stop time if he just kept the light out. "...I thought you didn't want me getting too excited," he murmured as his forehead touched Ember's.

[Estember Calderon]

Funny how two people so completely different could still connect on a level as deep as they did. Ember could still remember first laying eyes on Scy and maybe it was his witch's intuition but he knew there was a connection there. It was the same as one might find with a familiar or a soulmate. Maybe they were the latter to one another. Ember hadn't been waiting all his life for Scy--he'd lived a pretty full social life beforehand. There were guys before Scy but they were never anything more than casual flings. Ember sort of developed a reputation as the guy who would "love them and leave them" because of that.

Ember wasn't exactly known for his loyalty. And he was sharp, ambitious, looking for his place in a world where he never felt like Estember was enough. Scy never made him feel like he wasn't enough, though. Right now, he made him feel much more than that and Ember was desperate--yes, desperate--to hold onto that feeling. Emotions weren't as strong as they once were and Ember used to be a highly emotional person, whether they were good ones or bad ones.

Sometimes he felt like everything had been twisted inside, like he'd broken an essential part of himself in order to have the power he craved. He thought for certain it was what he wanted out of life. That he'd finally show everybody who doubted him and looked down on him. When he saw Scy there in his doorway, though, he began to doubt himself.

Maybe he had been pursuing the wrong thing. Maybe he had been running after something when he should have appreciated what was in front of him. The Forgotten--truly The Forgotten was cruel--and Ember was a fool for going through the ritual.

But it already happened and in this very moment, he was staring at Scy's beautiful smile and his closed eyes and his dark lashes and the line of his cheek and his jaw. Hands around Scy's waist drew him closer, body to body.

"I take it back," he murmured, "I was mistaken."

[Scyon Kan]

Scy still couldn't believe all of it—that there were wizards and witches. That the people around him weren't what he thought they were. That Ember, Ams, and God knew who else, were... magical. That things could happen to souls, which he always thought was some religious construct or ideal.

And yet, he had been confronted by too much to fully doubt it all, either. The incident in the suite downstairs and all of those tiny inklings that he'd been having about Ams all made too much sense. That was the troubling part; that his own normal world didn't make sense. That he was living the lie, thinking that all there were in this world were plain old humans.

The only thing grounding him was Ember's voice and the warmth of his hands and body. Scy opened his eyes to that all-too-familiar face, to beautiful blue eyes. Were eyes really windows to the soul? Then when he stared into them, should he have seen... something fractured? Something broken?

All he saw was love, though. Affection. Truth. Scy bit his lower lip gently, trying to persuade his head to go along with his heart and body. "Ember... I..." What should he say? What should he do? His hands tightened in the back of Ember's shirt. "I'm doing the right thing... right?"

[Estember Calderon]

"Yes," he said without hesitation and not just because he was being selfish (although that was part of it). Ember felt a sort of desperation in Scy, too. Not just the tone of his voice--asking him to justify what he was doing now--but the way his hands tightened and balled up part of Ember's shirt. It was impossible not to notice. The t-shirt was thin and Ember was extra conscious of every place where their bodies touched and aligned.

Gently, he nuzzled Scy, his eyes closing and his lips brushing against soft lips and trailing up Scy's cheek. One hand left Scy's waist to cradle his lover's face. There was nothing wrong with Scy's choice. Amory Nova was bad for Scy. Worse than Ember. The choices weren't great, admittedly, but Amory Nova...

Scy didn't even want to think about that degenerate but there was so much his naive Scyon didn't know. Because if he knew, there was no way he would have stuck around. Amory Nova had a reputation in certain circles. Magic circles, though. Criminal circles. Circles that Scy wasn't a part of, not even peripherally. At least, not until he got himself involved with Amory Nova. Now he was in the middle of that drama. But it was okay.

"I have the power to help you now," he assured Scy as he caressed his face. "I'll make sure nothing happens to you."

[Scyon Kan]

"Power..." Scy repeated softly, almost to himself. Ember now had the power to help him, where before he didn't. But that didn't wholly make sense either, because Scy didn't need, want or love Ember for his power. He loved Ember for Ember—for the sarcasm, the biting, sharp intelligence, the rebellious streak. They were black and white, light and dark. Their jagged edges fit together. Ember never needed to prove himself to Scy; he never needed power to impress Scy.

But it wasn't Scy that Ember wanted to impress, that much was obvious. If it was just Scy, things could have been simpler. Ember needed never have left. There were other people that Ember sought this power for—Scy just wasn't aware of who they were.

"I know you'll protect me," he said slowly, leaning into Ember's hand. His own hands relaxed and smoothed out over Ember's back, holding him close and also protectively. Scy wanted to protect Ember, too. He didn't know how to do it when the enemy wasn't a human being, though. His doubts, his fears, his insecurities, those weren't physical things.

"Who are you, Ember? What... what's a wizard? What do they—you do?" Or how? Scy didn't want to ruin the moment but he had too many questions that needed to be answered right now.

[Estember Calderon]

Power. That word again. Ember had to wonder what Scy thought of it, since he kept echoing it. Power. Power for what, he probably wanted to know. What made confident, cocky, self-assured Ember feel the need to chase power? If only Scy knew. At the same time, Ember wasn't sure he wanted him to.

But of course, he had to ask. He had to know. And if he'd been anybody else, it would have been easy to make a snappy remark and get him off his back. But it was Scy, wasn't it? And Scy deserved the truth. He came here for him when he didn't have to. Ember was more than well aware of that fact and he had to keep him. He had to. Scy was the only link left to anything resembling humanity for him.

"I'm Estember Calderon, the only witch in a family full of witches who couldn't access any kind of magic. So what did I do?" He let out a bitter scoff of a laugh and turned his gaze away. "Nothing. My father made it very clear there was no room in the Calderon family for a witch without magic."

[Scyon Kan]

Scy wasn't ambitious the way that Ember was. He had never been an over-achiever, although in his own way, he got things done. Power and fame and the adulation of his peers was never important to him. That didn't mean that he didn't understand where Ember was coming from. People used to say that Scy's main selling point, and also his one weakness, was that he understood. He tolerated things that some would have walked away from, realizing that not all flaws could be accepted.

As Ember went on to explain, his expression softened. Saddened, he nodded. Ember wasn't born this way—nobody was. He was shaped from the disappointment of his father and the intolerance of his high-born, over-achieving family. The amount of pressure on him to be someone must have been immense.

But didn't it speak to Ember's strength that he got to where he was today, without the aid of his prestigious family? Scy saw it that way—maybe Ember saw differently. Ember had something to prove to them.

"You're so mch more than just a witch, though." There was more to him than magical powers, wasn't there? Scy pulled him back in for a hug, lips pressing to Ember's cheek gently. "They didn't know what a wonderful person you'd become." And how sorry they would be, if they only knew the Ember Calderon that Scy had grown to know and love.

[Estember Calderon]

With a constant chip on his shoulder, Ember had to prove himself to anybody he met. Somehow, he never had to do that with Scy. He just seemed to embrace him for the person he already was. That didn't mean that Ember didn't try and impress him at first but he quickly realized it wasn't necessary and wasn't it nice to just relax and be with somebody? Whole or broken, Scy took him as he was. He didn't even know about the magic bullshit and Ember was relieved about that, too. There was absolutely no judgment but the more he learned about Scy, the more he knew that he never would have judged him even if he knew.

And look at him now. No judgment in his tone nor in his eyes. Ember didn't deserve him but he still had him and he wanted to hold onto that. Scy brought out a better side to him. He wondered if Scy even realized that. Did he do the same for Amory Nova? Could there be real feelings there? Maybe from Amory Nova. Definitely from Scy. But... he liked to think such feelings were much stronger for him. Scy was here with him, after all.

"Not sure wonderful's the word for it." Most people found him pretty insufferable. Too sharp, too sarcastic. There was some part of him that was a defeatist, too, despite his ambitions. He was self-deprecating but he was cocky as hell which didn't come across as genuine so much as... well, an asshole, he was pretty sure. But when he was just himself, when he was honest and he and Scy were sitting together in a quiet room, he was just... Ember. A person with insecurities and flaws like anybody else but a deep love for his lover's voice, a penchant for collecting so-called healing crystals, a secret weakness for stupid rom-coms, and a weird obsession with his hair.

"But you're right. I'm more than a witch now." He was something more dangerous and something less human. He didn't want to explain that part to Scy, though. Instead, he turned his head so they were facing each other. His hand slid to Scy's chin and he kissed him, the sort of kiss that melted into a second kiss and a third.

[Scyon Kan]

"Well, I like you," said Scy without pretense, despite Ember's obvious lack of faith in his own better qualities. It wasn't always easy to find the good in people but with Ember, that wasn't difficult. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't a chore. The way that he opened up to Scy spoke volumes about him.

Maybe there were trust issues there but not between them. Once hurt, it became less and less easy to trust again but Scy didn't think that people ever gave up that desire to want to trust. They just had to find the right person, that one to coax them out into the open again. Even Scy sometimes found himself hesitant to fully open up to others—even he had been hurt in the past. But he hadn't closed himself off completely and luckily, neither had Ember.

There was something in Ember's tone that unsettled Scy, when he declared that he was more than a witch. He had power now. No time to dwell on it, though, when the kisses were coming in fast. Maybe this discussion wasn't made for right this moment. There was a time and a place for everything, after all.

Scy moved them further into the apartment, despite not knowing where he was headed. Bedroom maybe. He was fairly vanilla when it came to sex, but being with Ams did have one benefit—it drew him out of his comfort zone long enough to appreciate the racier side of being intimate.