the same black line that was drawn on you was drawn on me

[Axel Vasilyev]

He almost asked but what, and then decided he'd rather not. That sounded like a better idea. At this point, he almost wished they hadn't gotten onto this conversation, but, Axel was kind of the one that prodded them into it. Damn him.

And the other penny dropped.

Well. Now Axel couldn't pretend to be too dense to see it, even in his own head. Outwardly, maybe. Axel always was good at hiding things, but it wasn't like it was always purposeful. Actually, most of the time, it was that he just had a hard time talking about things. Sometimes it was just things that mattered, but other times it was anything. As chatty as Axel was, he was the kind of chatty that talked about everything under the sun, except the things he'd buried in his heart a long time ago. He supposed, if one wanted to get poetic about it, that didn't count as something under the sun, because even the sun couldn't reach it.

Axel breathed out. "Especially if it's me," he answered, tone very serious, in contrast to his friend's apparent amusement. He was psycho, not rude. He had standards. You know, for himself, and that. Then, of course, all the seriousness melted away, and he shot an amused smirk at him. "But first we'd be having a discussion about your taste in guys. It'd be like, c'mon man, you can do better than me. I was pretty sure you'd be immune to the charm by now, anyway. Waaaow, imagine if it was me, I'd feel like I deserved a medal." And needed maybe a gallon of vodka.

Nope, you know, the gallon of vodka was getting tempting.

Not like he was a damned goody-two-shoes anyway.

[Dakota Choi]

What a vision: Axel knocking his own teeth out for hurting Dakota somehow. Did he really think he was that poisonous to him? Maybe. Axel was weird to Dakota. Sometimes, he seemed like he had confidence in spades and then there were the days when he was sure it was just a veneer to disguise the internal insecurities that he sometimes brought up in self-deprecation. Really, the man was a mystery. It was weird that he could seem like he had his feelings out in the open but they were just the tip of the iceberg.

That was how Dakota saw it, anyway. They were friends. Good friends. He might have been privy to things others might not be. At the same time, maybe being so close meant there were certain things Axel left closed to him. Dakota couldn't blame him for that; how long had he been nursing this massively growing crush on one of his besties? Yeah. It had been there for... like forever, it felt like.

Why now? Dakota thought it was everything happening around them. If it ended up being end of the world shit, he at least wanted them to go out knowing the truth. Axel might not have a truth like that lurking in his heart but maybe it would make them both feel better to air Dakota's feelings.

Yeah, like that was how it went. Dakota scratched the tip of his nose, an idle action born of his sudden new tension. He'd come so close to saying it and he wasn't sure if Axel's reaction was a positive one or one that might end up with a door opening and his ass getting kicked out.

Nobody accused Dakota of being a chicken so he was going to come right out with it. Once he'd made the decision to do it, he was going to do it, even if some part of him felt like he might be a little sick if Axel gave him a look of disgust or some shit. Inside, he might die for a little but it was better than sitting on the information a second more, like some... chicken. (Which he wasn't--he would remind people until the day he died!) He turned toward Axel and blinked slowly. Here it came. The words. The words that could be taken as a joke but totally weren't.

"Well then, where's that medal? I'm kinda curious to see what it says."

[Axel Vasilyev]

Of course.

It wasn't like Axel couldn't come up with something here. Usually, his mind fired at the speed of light, practically. Okay, not exactly, but that was what it felt like, most of the time. Like his mind was whirring faster than he could keep up with. This conversation should not be happening right now. Well, too late for that, huh.

Instead of dwelling on that too long, though, he focused on pulling into his driveway. His house wasn't quite the level of insane Kassander's was, but it was comfortable enough. He had a wine cellar, and you could lay down in his shower, if you wanted, and he guessed his entryway was kind of posh. ... okay. Yeah. He wasn't even going to try. The garage door opened as the car got close to it, and he parked the car, shutting off the engine. The door closed behind them.

"It says," he started, turning to Dakota and arching an eyebrow upward, "Dakota can do better than you." ... there was some irony in parking his Dodge Charger in the garage of a house that cost nearly a million dollars and saying he wasn't good enough, but Axel wasn't going to bother thinking about that very long. Not that he thought the money was a motivator, but, it helped, usually. "So, long island ice tea, coming right up. Want a flavour or no?" he asked, getting out of the car and heading for the door that went in. It wasn't like - ... well. Maybe it didn't matter what it was like. It was some kind of ironic, that he and Dakota had ended up friends. Dakota kept his secrets, and so did Axel, and maybe it was just that neither of them pushed the other that made them such good friends.

He just wasn't so sure that was a good enough foundation to build a relationship that was more than that on.

[Dakota Choi]

Hmmm... Dakota watched Axel out of the corner of his eye, not altogether surprised by how quickly Axel dumped himself under the bus. He always seemed to do that, even though Dakota was pretty sure he never said anything like he was putting Axel on some pedestal. They were both just people, after all. They weren't perfect. For fuck's sake--that would make Axel far less desirable. It was something more about the mystery and the fucked up parts that drew Dakota to him. I mean, shit, Dakota wasn't perfect, he was no angel either.

"No flavor," he said promptly as he followed Axel, hands in pockets, but eyes fixed on Axel. So... he'd all but said it at this point but he'd made it so obvious. And now he was sure that Axel didn't like it, what he'd heard. So he was playing that game where he might be pretending he never heard it. Or hoping that a change of pace would also change the course of topic.

Too bad Dakota was also a stubborn goat.

"Axel, just to be clear," he said, reaching out to grasp his upper arm. "I'm admitting to having feelings for you. Like... not-just-friends feelings. And I don't think I can 'do better'--that's just bullshit. I'm a hot mess, too. At least you have some semblance of having your shit together. Probably because of your brother but shit, it's still there." He paused. Looked around. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who desperately wants a drink now."

[Axel Vasilyev]

"I know what you meant, Dakota," Axel answered, stopping where he was. "And I stand by what I said. Relationships are, you know, all communication and trust and stuff, and I ain't saying we can't make that happen, I'm just saying we did and also did not, and I'm not sure that's good enough. So I'm not sure what you want to do with it." And, being realistic, if they were both comfortable with things the way they were now, then those things changing could either be very good, or really, really bad, and to be blunt about it, Axel didn't wanna lose his friend. Preferably ever, but, everything went away, someday.

He of all mother fuckers should know. ... speaking of, Axel turned slightly, watching one of the tables scoot around the floor in the parlour. Again? Well the plasma-fucker had to get out of his table before he could deal with them, anyway.

"And Mikhail's more fucked up than I am, I feel like that says something! ... okay, in some ways. In other ways, technically, I have it worse, but you know don't tell him that, he doesn't need that ri - that's not the point, the point... is... I left it in the Charger I think. Fuck." What was the point? Jeez. The point, probably, was somewhere back there, in how nobody had ever tied Axel Vasilyev down before. Nobody had tried. Sure, he had flings, momentary whirlwind romances that lasted maybe two days, but they didn't know him any better than Dakota did on a good day. And the truth was, he was probably just scared of this going wrong. It wasn't like there weren't plenty of ways it could.

"The point, is, actually, one, I don't want to lose you as a friend, at all would be great, if this goes to hell in a hand-basket, you don't need to be any closer than you are, and two, there are some things about me that you don't know, and quite frankly, it's safer if you don't. I mean I doubt you'd be terribly happy with me if I had some dude follow you around with a shotgun, and things are pretty precariously balanced as it is." Just because he could, didn't mean he should. Besides, that was very attention-getting. Funny enough, the need for a guard was sort of self-sustaining. Get a guard to defend oneself from the people that'd notice you had a guard and try to kill you because it must be you! ... ugh.

How did Kassander deal with this?

"... so. Yeah. I appreciate you telling me, but, what exactly am I supposed to do with that? And no, a gallon of vodka sounds like a great idea, but one of us should probably be sober by the end of this." Probably. Mistakes were often made when you were very drunk and a bit pine-y.

[Dakota Choi]

"Well... shit."

He jerked back slightly when he saw a table moving about on its own. Yeah, okay. That was a totally normal everyday occurrence. Maybe it was for Axel, who didn't so much as bat an eyelash. All right, then. Dakota rubbed at his eyes, wondering if he'd already had too much to drink. Never thought of himself as such a lightweight but maybe that shit he drank back at the bar was the best sludge they had to offer and it was just slow to kick in.

"You left it in the Charger," Dakota repeated. What, the point? Silly Axel. Actually, what was the point, then? Axel didn't want Dakota to keep saying it, did he? That he was like... sexually attracted to him. It wasn't like Dakota could help it. Sometimes shit just happened, despite everything the head said, the heart did dumb things. He wanted to tell Axel that but he wasn't sure what it would add to Axel's narrative. Wouldn't it just be proving him right?

So why did I bring it up?

Oh wait, here came the points. Dakota perked up to listen. Well, yeah, losing a friend sucked. Would it really screw with them that much to take their current relationship a step forward? Dakota let that sink in while he listened. Was this the part where Dakota started to list off the things that Axel didn't know about him, then?

"Nobody knows everything about--whaaat? What about a dude with a shotgun? Are you planning to take me out for this?" That part was a joke. He didn't actually think Axel wanted to kill him. "Axel, listen, don't get all... weird and serious on me, okay? I caught feelings, that's hardly your fault and it's not like I'm begging you to act on them, all right?"

[Axel Vasilyev]

... right.

Axel sighed, slightly, then turned on his heel and went toward the kitchen. Maybe part of the problem, here, was Dakota didn't seem to even know what he wanted, either. And Axel? Yeah, he was too old for that shit. He'd just adopted a kid, too, he really was too old for that shit. Of course, he had a hard time believing Dakota'd just, mentioned it, off-hand, for no reason, because that wasn't his jam, and most people that said something expected some kind of response.

But, he wasn't going to argue about it. If Dakota wanted to just drop the bomb and pretend the mushroom cloud wasn't there, fine. If he was going to, though, Axel wished he would. Don't push the subject if you don't want to talk about it, right?

He was making a mixer. That in mind, Axel went through his cabinets, getting the seemingly lethal mix of liquors together. "... that's fine and all," Axel said, popping up over the cabinet door to look at him over the wood, "but don't drop that bomb, pester me into not ignoring it, and then start ignoring it. I'm pretty sure you said something for a reason, right? I mean most people aren't like Hey I dig you just to say it. If you did say it just to say it, hey, that's fine, but what's the point in making sure I didn't misunderstand it? And I mean shit, Dakota, maybe I'm a serial killer." ... well, he wasn't, but technically, Mikhail was.

"And no," he went on, disappearing behind the cabinet door again. "The dude with the shotgun'd be there to make sure no one else plans to take you out."

[Dakota Choi]

"Okay, but hey, hey. I'm not telling you to ignore it. I'm just saying I'm not like, expecting you to tell me you feel the same way. Honestly, I don't know what I expected you to say. Kinda thought you'd hit me, maybe."

And then after that, he'd see reason again and stop with this insanity. Falling for a best friend? Like the dumbest damn thing in the world to do. If they decided to take a leap off the deep end and further the relationship and it soured because of usual relationship drama, well... They'd both lose a friend and Dakota could see why Axel was wary of that. In truth, the only reason Dakota kept his mouth shut this long was because he had the same reasonable enough fear.

Dakota drew closer and he stuck a hand out.

"So. Are you a serial killer? Who've you been killing? People who fuck with your boyfriends?" Not that he knew Axel to have lines of boyfriends. He never really seemed to have a serious relationship. Maybe that was a red light but Dakota refused to care. His voice softened somewhat as he lowered his hand.

"I told you because I'm tired of lying, Axel. It sucks."

[Axel Vasilyev]

"I thought we established before we got in the car I wasn't going to do that?" To be fair, that was like, ten minutes ago, and who knew how much Dakota had drunk before Axel got there. It wasn't like Axel had anybody trailing him now, partly because he was trying not to make him look too important. He wasn't sure if he did or not, but he thought he had some Bratva trouble. Axel swore to fucking god he'd seen Romanov the other day. And the other day before that one. And the other other other day.

If Romanov was around, that generally boded terribly. Fucking snake-fox. On the one hand, it wasn't like Axel couldn't handle it, but on the other, he didn't really want to drag someone else into it. And he was relatively certain, shooting at Romanov would just piss the entire hive off, and that was the last thing he needed, right now, was a division of the Russian mafia pissed off at him. Kind of a miracle they weren't already, because Mikhail had just kind of skipped off on them, but that was - he wasn't going to think about that too long. That'd be a better idea. On the other hand, maybe he should later, so if and when it became a problem, he had solutions instead of flying by the seat of his pants.

Axel snorted, standing up, several bottles of liquor under his arm. "What boyfriends?" No, really, what boyfriends? He'd never really had one. Flings, sure, but you know, nothing clicked, moved on pretty quick, lather rinse repeat...

"Your words were, I quote, 'don't get all weird and serious on me,' which implies I should thus ignore the elephant you just carted into the room because that'd be a fairly weird and serious conversation," Axel said, setting the bottles down on the counter and going for the glasses. "Mostly because I'm not callous enough not to take someone else's feelings, mutual or not, seriously. I mean, I'm psycho, right, I'm not rude. So which is it, do you want to have this conversation, or not?" He really couldn't have it both ways. Though, the fact he had to ask if Axel was a serial killer was telling him, maybe he wasn't ready for it. And maybe Axel was taking it too seriously, but you know, maybe they'd take that step forward and never fucking go back, all the same.

Then again, Dakota would probably appreciate knowing more than he appreciated Axel sparing him the complexities that came with that knowing. ... fuck. He was supposed to be the older and wiser one, but, he had no idea what was right or wrong, here. "Look," he started, setting the glasses down. "This is kind of what I do, I worry about you, and this is me worrying about you. Okay? Even things being the way they are is almost too much, and I don't want you to end up paying for the choices I had to make a hundred years ago coupled with your getting a thing for me, that's all." And logically, he knew; he could say choose anyone else, but that wasn't how feelings worked.

[Dakota Choi]

"Yeah, well." That was true. They did establish that shit already. Dakota let out a long breath from his nose and looked upward. He wasn't usually the awkward type but now he was starting to feel it. Damn it. Not enough courage juice back at the bar. And here he thought he was some kinda fucking daredevil--yet he couldn't handle juggling emotions. (In his defense, emotions were a helluva lot trickier to deal with than physical bodily harm or the threat of it, thank you very much.)

"That was sarcasm, friend," Dakota said, assured that Axel was also being sarcastic. Axel and boyfriends. Hah. Hahaha. That made Dakota peer off to the side, eyeing the place as if he had never seen it before. Mostly it was because he was terrified of making eye contact with Axel all of a sudden. Like shit, man. What if he saw something there he didn't want to see? And you told him you're fine with him rejecting you. He was, wasn't he? Except nobody confessed feelings like that if they were really looking to be rejected... even if he kinda maybe sorta expected it.

So... the real question was did he really want to have this conversation? He had a chance to slip out of it earlier but he made damn sure to clarify what he meant to Axel. As if Axel didn't know what he was saying in the first place. The truth was, he wanted to have this conversation. But at the same time, he was sick inside thinking how it might wreck everything. Like how he viewed Axel. Or how Axel viewed him, more importantly.

Fuck.

Wait though. Hang on just one sec.

"Before I answer that, hold up." Dakota put up a hand. "A hundred years ago, huh?"

[Axel Vasilyev]

Gin, tequila... vodka... this was gold rum, but it'd work... Axel shifted away from the counter, over to the fridge, to get the lemon juice and a can of Coke, and blinked at Dakota. Wait, did he say that? Maybe he did. Probable that he did, even, if only because it'd be instinct. And this, of course, was why he never talked about anything important. Eventually, the truth slipped out, somewhere in there, and that wasn't terribly ideal, now was it.

He breathed in, shuffling back to the glasses, reached up to get the triple sec, and went back to mixing. "I did tell you, didn't I," he said. "There are things about me you don't know." Quite a few things, but, none of them were really all that important. Okay, well, his brother being mafia might be a big deal, about now, but it wasn't like Axel was volunteering that just yet. "I was born in 1900, right before the Russian Revolution, in Khabarovsk, Russia. That was the end of the tsar dynasties and the rise of the Soviet Union. Fun fact, I guess, I'm not technically Soviet." Something like that.

And just a bit of Coke... the drinks turned their trademark translucent brown tint, and Axel stirred them both with a straw, and then popped another straw into one, and slid one of those down the counter toward Dakota. "One knock-me-on-my-ass, there you go." Yeah, maybe he could use that even more now.

[Dakota Choi]

"Okay, yeah, you did but..."

A hundred years ago? It could've been exaggeration but the way Axel said it made Dakota question it. He tried to think if there was anything strange that he might have noticed about Axel. It almost made him laugh--not out of amusement but hysteria. Had they been hiding similar secrets all along? Was he...? He had to be. In silence, Dakota reached for the drink he'd been given and he took a big gulp from the straw.

Which left him reeling for a moment.

"Whew!" Good but burned. Good burn, though. Exactly what he was looking for. Dakota closed his eyes and slapped the counter once for good measure. Hell yeah. That was the kick he'd been looking for. He pointed a stupid, cheesy finger gun at Axel.

"Exactly what the doc ordered," he said. "Anyway, you got secrets, so you didn't lie about that part. I got em too. Although I'm starting to think yours are a lot more serious than mine." And here Dakota thought he knew this guy, that they were thick as thieves.

"The part about men following me with guns is starting to make some sense, though." Dakota coyly played with his straw and rested his cheek in his other hand. "Other than my big old inconvenient crush on you, I guess I should come out with it: I'm not human, either."

[Axel Vasilyev]

For a moment, Axel looked a hair concerned. He should probably not be drinking one of those that quick; it was something like 22% alcohol, or somewhere in that range, fuck maths, right now. "Probably," Axel drawled. Serious, yeah... well, just the one. You know, big mafia out to kill him, or whatever, actually being totally blunt he had no idea what they wanted, except they were watching him for some reason.

He'd figure Kassander would be more interesting, but, maybe they hadn't figured out Kassander was here, yet. He was so good at hiding when he wanted to be.

"Oh, I figured," Axel said. "You don't smell human. Humans smell like dying, you smell like... like... the wind in the autumn leaves. ... that's cheesy." But, hey, it wasn't like he had any better way of explaining that scent. Most beings didn't have great senses of scent like you know, vampires and were-creatures and whatnot did. It meant, when trying to explain a scent to someone that couldn't smell what he could, all he had were words, and words were oh-so-inadequate for oh-so-many things.

Since they were apparently sharing secrets, hey, why not. "So, I'm a vampire, specifically a starchild. Most people don't know what that is. I do tricks. Wanna see?" he asked, holding his hand out. ... that was almost a joke, but, eh, he probably worked better than getting drunk did, being realistic.

[Dakota Choi]

Whew, seriously. This was definitely the kind of drink that could knock a man dead on his ass if he wasn't careful--and Dakota wasn't being particularly careful at the moment. He coughed into his shoulder after a third drink. Already, he felt like he was getting a little light-headed. He tilted his head slightly, squinting at Axel. He smelled like wind in autumn leaves...? Dakota's smile might have been a tiny bit marred by a goofy light in his chest. He hid it behind his hand as he regarded Axel.

"Weirdly accurate," he murmured, mostly to himself. Axel said cheesy but... he was pretty on target with that cute description. He would get into that in a second, though. Right now, he was more taken with the fact that Axel just outed himself as a vampire. A vampire. The hundred year remark wasn't in jest or out of exaggeration. It was true. Well. That made their age difference a helluva lot bigger than Dakota ever imagined, since he was something of a baby in the world of the supernatural while Axel was obviously an old hat.

"I don't know what that is," Dakota admitted but he liked the way it sounded better than vampire. A starchild. Like he was destined for something amazing. "Ooh, tricks, hm?"

Dakota stared at the hand Axel held out and for some dimwitted reason, he thought it was meant for him. So he did what any half drunk idiot would do and he reached out and took hold of Axel's hand, sliding his palm over his and his fingertips over his wrist like he expected Axel to help him up. And then what? They'd start dancing like Disney Princesses?

"I know some tricks, too."

[Axel Vasilyev]

Accurate, huh? Well, Axel didn't know what all the different supernaturals smelled like well enough to figure out what, exactly, Dakota was. Then, it wasn't like Axel interacted with other supernaturals very much, aside from other starchildren, and the occasional mischievous fairy. Hmm, come to think, Dakota kind of had a manner like a mischievous fairy. Certainly wasn't an angel or a yin. He'd have noticed that a long time ago. And he didn't smell like shifter or were-creature.

Speaking of, when was that ghost going to leggo of his table...? Whatever. It was still thunking around out there, but he'd mostly tuned it out by now. It was quiet enough, anyway.

"I'm sure you do," Axel answered, bemused at Dakota's response, tugging on his arm a little and pulling him over here, just in front of him. Yes, right here, and Axel unceremoniously wrapped his arms around Dakota's smaller frame, resting against his hair. "You probably wouldn't want to be this close to a normal vampire," he murmured. Lots of nervous energy, some confusion, but Axel didn't spend too long thinking about what it was, just absorbing the spill-over, so to say.

He was pretty sure Dakota was a little too sloshed to make sense of starchildren, right now. So, instead of explaining what he was doing, he just let out an airy snort. "For the record, though, I might have a crush on you, too," Axel admitted, very quiet. "Have for a while." Axel decided not to point out there was a reason he flirted with everyone but him. Hey, maybe Dakota would do him a favour, and forget this conversation tomorrow. (Was that bad? That was probably bad. He was a terrible person.)

On the bright side, he didn't have a feeding headache, thanks to that staff meeting earlier. "I've got the Russian mafia on my tail," he said. "I don't know exactly why. But I do know several of them aren't afraid of playing dirty. I think you can see why I'm worried." Probably. Maybe? He hoped.