All the appetite left Brendan for the moment while he nervously fiddled with the edge of the cushion he sat on, wondering if Sev was going to regret getting tangled up with him. Brendan wasn't going to be affectionate like this when they left. He wasn't going to be the kind of person Sev loved being around and he was afraid that sooner or later, Sev was going to turn to someone else for all the things that Brendan lacked.
He swallowed, trying to press down that big ball of anxiety in the back of his throat. If only he could be normal. If only he could be like all the other guys he saw with their girls (or guys), freely expressing their love. Fingertips under his chin made him look up, but he still resisted slightly for fear of what Sev had to say.
What Sev had to say was brief, but it made him pause. That was true--they were alone right now. And Brendan had gotten comfortable with him, enough to initiate hand-holding and engage in kisses. Was that enough for Sev? He didn't know if even Sev could say, or vouch for his future self.
Slowly he nodded to indicate that he understood. Maybe Sev wanted them to live more in the moment. With danger surrounding them, worrying about the past or the future was pretty much pointless. Plus, they'd agreed to start over, didn't they? Brendan nodded again, then leaned closer to kiss him on the cheek. He could at least try--for Sev. Then he smiled, sheepish and embarrassed, and brought up some spaghetti from his can to Sev's lips to feed him in that cutesy way that Brendan had always seen on TV, but had never had anyone to try it on.